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addisalazar's review against another edition
5.0
Such a profoundly powerful essay collection that left a deep impression on me. The diversity of voices—women, men, trans women, trans men, queer and asexual people individuals—adds a rich tapestry of perspectives, yet it is heartbreaking to see that every story revolves around experiences of sexual assault, rape, or rape culture.
The raw honesty and emotional depth of these essays reveal the cruel reality of the world we live in, where such traumatic events occur daily and leave indelible marks on the soul. Each story is a poignant reminder of the pervasive and devastating impact of sexual violence.
This collection is essential reading for everyone. Regardless of who you are, you will walk away with a greater understanding and a powerful message about these critical issues. Roxane Gay has curated an anthology that not only sheds light on the pervasive nature of rape culture but also calls for empathy, awareness, and change.
The raw honesty and emotional depth of these essays reveal the cruel reality of the world we live in, where such traumatic events occur daily and leave indelible marks on the soul. Each story is a poignant reminder of the pervasive and devastating impact of sexual violence.
This collection is essential reading for everyone. Regardless of who you are, you will walk away with a greater understanding and a powerful message about these critical issues. Roxane Gay has curated an anthology that not only sheds light on the pervasive nature of rape culture but also calls for empathy, awareness, and change.
yennyreads's review
5.0
Just reading this thinking I’m lucky and grew up relatively unscathed...
Wow! Important stories that I wish a lot of people would read instead of saying we don’t have rape culture. Woof!
Wow! Important stories that I wish a lot of people would read instead of saying we don’t have rape culture. Woof!
caitlinhelene's review
4.0
Did I finish it? Yes
Did I think it was good? Average for a collection
Did I like it? Some essays were really resonant, some were only ok, some were very repetitive of each other, but the great essays make the book worth reading
Would I recommend it? Yes
Would I re-read it? Selectively, but also maybe not
Final rating: 4 stars
Did I think it was good? Average for a collection
Did I like it? Some essays were really resonant, some were only ok, some were very repetitive of each other, but the great essays make the book worth reading
Would I recommend it? Yes
Would I re-read it? Selectively, but also maybe not
Final rating: 4 stars
chiaralou's review
4.0
Very good collection of essays, though definitely not easy to read, especially too much of it at once. I really liked how many different voices were included in this and what a broad spectrum of texts – both in terms of topics and writing style – there was.
Some of the essays I liked the most because they left a lasting impression or touched me the most or were just very well written:
- & the Truth Is, I Have No Story (Claire Schwartz)
- Sixty-Three Days (AJ McKenna)
- What I Told Myself (Vanessa Mártir)
- All the Angry Women (Lyz Lenz)
- I Said Yes (Anthony Frame)
- Why I Stopped (Zoë Medeiros)
- Getting Home (Nicole Boyce)
Some of the essays I liked the most because they left a lasting impression or touched me the most or were just very well written:
- & the Truth Is, I Have No Story (Claire Schwartz)
- Sixty-Three Days (AJ McKenna)
- What I Told Myself (Vanessa Mártir)
- All the Angry Women (Lyz Lenz)
- I Said Yes (Anthony Frame)
- Why I Stopped (Zoë Medeiros)
- Getting Home (Nicole Boyce)
rubyseemorebooks's review
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
tense
medium-paced
5.0
A well curated collection, diverse but with a golden thread.
mnemoyne's review
5.0
I don't have anything to say but I have lots of things I wish I could say. It was enlightening and relatable. Painful at times. I cried and felt guilty for feeling the crappy kind of satisfaction that I didn't have it as bad as well as guilty of dismissing that what happened to me didn't matter in the whole scope of things. I loved the statistics based essays and the personal essays and everything about it. More people ought to read it.
sholey_woolv101's review
5.0
First off, if me reading this book makes you uncomfortable, I do not care. If you think I am a child who shouldn't be reading this, then let me make it clear: I am a child who has lived this. I am a child who has survived this. I have walked through darkness and clawed my way back. If this book disturbs you, imagine how much more disturbing it is to live in the reality it describes.
Not That Bad doesn’t sugarcoat. It doesn’t let the world look away. It forces you to see the failures—the broken systems, the gaslighting, the silence victims are forced into. It rips away the excuses. It demands accountability.
One quote that gutted me:
“Anger is the privilege of the truly broken, and yet, I've never met a woman who was broken enough that she allowed herself to be angry.”
Because I’ve felt that. I’ve swallowed my anger because people told me to be calm, to not be dramatic, to let it go. Like anger itself was the problem and not what was done to me.
Another line that shattered me:
“Because I questioned myself and my sanity and what I was doing wrong in this situation. Because of course I feared that I might be overreacting, overemotional, oversensitive, weak, playing victim, crying wolf, blowing things out of proportion, making things up.”
That is what we are made to believe. That our pain is inconvenient. That our stories are too much. That our truth needs to be cut down, softened, made easier for everyone else to digest.
And then this:
"Because girls are coached out of the womb to be nonconfrontational, agreeable, solicitous, deferential, demure, nurturing, to be tuned in to others, and to shrink and shut up. Because speaking up for myself was not how I learned English. Because I'm fluent in Apology, in Question Mark, in Giggle, in Bowing Down, in Self-Sacrifice.”
I felt this in my bones. Because I know what it’s like to shrink myself down so I don’t make people uncomfortable. I know what it’s like to carry the weight of what happened and still be expected to be kind, to be gentle, to be everything the world wants me to be.
And then this:
“…it erases you. Your own desires, your safety and well-being, your ownership of the body that may very well have been the only thing you ever felt sure you owned—all of it becomes irrelevant, even nonexistent. You don’t need to be a helpless, innocent child to be changed by that.”
This book gave words to the things I have felt but never knew how to say. It is painful. It is raw. It is necessary.
Some people will say it’s “too much.” That it’s “hard to read.” But imagine how much harder it is to live.
I recommend Not That Bad because it demands that you listen, even when it’s uncomfortable. It is not just a book—it is a call for accountability.
Not That Bad doesn’t sugarcoat. It doesn’t let the world look away. It forces you to see the failures—the broken systems, the gaslighting, the silence victims are forced into. It rips away the excuses. It demands accountability.
One quote that gutted me:
“Anger is the privilege of the truly broken, and yet, I've never met a woman who was broken enough that she allowed herself to be angry.”
Because I’ve felt that. I’ve swallowed my anger because people told me to be calm, to not be dramatic, to let it go. Like anger itself was the problem and not what was done to me.
Another line that shattered me:
“Because I questioned myself and my sanity and what I was doing wrong in this situation. Because of course I feared that I might be overreacting, overemotional, oversensitive, weak, playing victim, crying wolf, blowing things out of proportion, making things up.”
That is what we are made to believe. That our pain is inconvenient. That our stories are too much. That our truth needs to be cut down, softened, made easier for everyone else to digest.
And then this:
"Because girls are coached out of the womb to be nonconfrontational, agreeable, solicitous, deferential, demure, nurturing, to be tuned in to others, and to shrink and shut up. Because speaking up for myself was not how I learned English. Because I'm fluent in Apology, in Question Mark, in Giggle, in Bowing Down, in Self-Sacrifice.”
I felt this in my bones. Because I know what it’s like to shrink myself down so I don’t make people uncomfortable. I know what it’s like to carry the weight of what happened and still be expected to be kind, to be gentle, to be everything the world wants me to be.
And then this:
“…it erases you. Your own desires, your safety and well-being, your ownership of the body that may very well have been the only thing you ever felt sure you owned—all of it becomes irrelevant, even nonexistent. You don’t need to be a helpless, innocent child to be changed by that.”
This book gave words to the things I have felt but never knew how to say. It is painful. It is raw. It is necessary.
Some people will say it’s “too much.” That it’s “hard to read.” But imagine how much harder it is to live.
I recommend Not That Bad because it demands that you listen, even when it’s uncomfortable. It is not just a book—it is a call for accountability.