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ellen328's review
5.0
One of the best pieces of work(s) I’ve ever laid my eyes on. This collection of writing gave me language I’ve been missing to help me understand my past experiences as well as the rape culture we live in. The authors are raw, humorous at times, poignant, and honest. I am in awe.
elizabetholsson's review
5.0
→ 5 stars (★★★★★)
this anthology is such a poignant and hard-hitting illustration of the multifaceted ways we suffer under rape culture. i recommend this as necessary reading for everyone (as long as you are prepared for the heavy content).
"The anger of men is a powerful enough tide to swing an election. But the anger of women? That has no place in government, so it has to flood the streets.”
this anthology is such a poignant and hard-hitting illustration of the multifaceted ways we suffer under rape culture. i recommend this as necessary reading for everyone (as long as you are prepared for the heavy content).
"I don’t want to be told that I am brave or strong. I am not right just because he was wrong. I don’t want to be made noble. I want someone willing to watch me thrash and crumple because that, too, is the truth, and it needs a witness. 'He broke me,' I say to a friend. 'You’re not broken,' she whispers back. I turn my palms up, wishing I could show her the pieces.”
thopp84's review
4.0
I'm not really sure how to review this book. It feels weird to say that I liked it considering the subject matter. This is a dark and disturbing collection of essays about rape and rape culture. Some of the essays do include graphic descriptions of rape and sexual assault so beware if those are triggering for you. I appreciated the diversity of voices included here. There's essays by women, men, people of color, queer people, trans people etc. And what I really appreciated was reading essays written by women who were raped by other women. That's a perspective that we don't often hear about so I was grateful to have those voices in the conversation here.
I have also been a victim of sexual assault. And I also sometimes don't like to consider myself that way because my experience wasn't that bad compared to the many other stories out there, particularly the ones included in this collection. And yet, that's how insidious and terrible rape culture is. That even I find myself saying that it is not that bad when the truth of the matter is that all rape or sexual assault is bad. All of it. And that's what these essays point out.
As a man, I am complicit in rape culture even though I'm gay and don't date or sleep with women. I still contribute in subtle and damaging ways to the atmosphere that allows rape to happen. I don't like admitting that but this book made me aware of just how deeply rape culture has been ingrained into me. And now that I'm more aware of it, it makes me want to do a better job of addressing it. Men need to read this book. It will open your eyes to all the ways that you have been complicit in rape culture. And hopefully, it will help you begin the process of changing the culture.
Not sure exactly who to recommend this to or how to recommend it. Did I like it? I guess. But again, the subject matter makes it hard to say that. I'm glad I read it and I'm grateful that these authors were willing to share their stories with us. They laid themselves bare in order to enlighten and educate us and for that I am truly grateful.
I have also been a victim of sexual assault. And I also sometimes don't like to consider myself that way because my experience wasn't that bad compared to the many other stories out there, particularly the ones included in this collection. And yet, that's how insidious and terrible rape culture is. That even I find myself saying that it is not that bad when the truth of the matter is that all rape or sexual assault is bad. All of it. And that's what these essays point out.
As a man, I am complicit in rape culture even though I'm gay and don't date or sleep with women. I still contribute in subtle and damaging ways to the atmosphere that allows rape to happen. I don't like admitting that but this book made me aware of just how deeply rape culture has been ingrained into me. And now that I'm more aware of it, it makes me want to do a better job of addressing it. Men need to read this book. It will open your eyes to all the ways that you have been complicit in rape culture. And hopefully, it will help you begin the process of changing the culture.
Not sure exactly who to recommend this to or how to recommend it. Did I like it? I guess. But again, the subject matter makes it hard to say that. I'm glad I read it and I'm grateful that these authors were willing to share their stories with us. They laid themselves bare in order to enlighten and educate us and for that I am truly grateful.
kwanshabit's review
challenging
emotional
informative
Such an amazing and heartbreaking read. I had to take breaks from reading the essays because of how angry they made me feel. It shows the problem of r*pe culture from many different perspectives, it makes you think a lot about your own experiences, but it also creates this beautiful feeling of solidarity. It’s going to stay with me for a long time.
readwithmaleah's review
5.0
“Don’t ever use an insult for a woman that you wouldn’t use for a man. Say “jerk” or “shithead” or “asshole.” Don’t say “bitch” or “whore” or “slut.” If you say “asshole,” you’re criticizing her parking skills. If you say “bitch,” you’re criticizing her gender.”
One of the most difficult (at times disturbing) books I have read to date. An eye-opener for those who aren't quite sure.... What does it mean to consent? Is a nod enough? Is even saying "yes" enough when your mind wants to scream "NO!"? Is it your fault if you were drinking? Or if you were wearing a low-cut top and flirted a little? Were you "asking for it"? The contributors take a brave stance to answer these questions (and many more) with their raw, real, tragic collection of survival stories.
Not That Bad should be a required read for every parent, every student, every person. Everywhere. It will sit with me forever as I raise my two sons to know the differences between yes and no and maybe, whether those words be verbal or silent. Because it IS that bad.
One of the most difficult (at times disturbing) books I have read to date. An eye-opener for those who aren't quite sure.... What does it mean to consent? Is a nod enough? Is even saying "yes" enough when your mind wants to scream "NO!"? Is it your fault if you were drinking? Or if you were wearing a low-cut top and flirted a little? Were you "asking for it"? The contributors take a brave stance to answer these questions (and many more) with their raw, real, tragic collection of survival stories.
Not That Bad should be a required read for every parent, every student, every person. Everywhere. It will sit with me forever as I raise my two sons to know the differences between yes and no and maybe, whether those words be verbal or silent. Because it IS that bad.