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946 reviews for:
Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church
Megan Phelps-Roper
4.15 AVERAGE
946 reviews for:
Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church
Megan Phelps-Roper
4.15 AVERAGE
This is fascinating. It’s an amazing story, and it’s also really well-written. As a lesbian, I wouldn’t have believed I could find myself in total sympathy with a member of Westboro Baptist Church, but yes, that’s what happened in reading this book.
Phelps-Roper writes about her life in this church, surrounded by a really warm and supportive community. The church had been started by Phelps-Roper’s grandfather, and it consisted of about forty people, almost all closely related. Whatever Fred Phelps wanted to do, everybody did, unquestioningly, because he could always come up with some solid biblical reason to do it. They had a pretty consistent philosophical basis for their actions, even though these actions seemed jarringly cruel to the outside world.
What surprised me was that there was very little oppression inside the church, at least when Phelps-Roper was growing up. The kids were encouraged to read, to think, to go to school, and to interact with the outside world through social media, even though they were also informed that everybody besides them was going to burn in hell. Women were given positions of authority, including Phelps-Roper’s mother. Education was stressed, and many of the family members were lawyers. Everyone worked together, and was valued and useful, and the community as a whole discussed matters that affected everyone.
These things changed when Phelps-Roper was a young woman. A number of things came together at once. Her grandfather got old and infirm, and there was a power grab by the younger men in the community. They took all responsibilities away from Phelps-Roper’s mother, and started showing their authority in arbitrary ways. At the same time, Phelps-Roper was getting into some interesting on-line conversations with people in the outside world, and was beginning to question her own assumptions.
The book takes you painstakingly through her process, as she tried to leave behind the only world she had ever known. She wasn’t a misfit before this; she had been one of Phelps’ most prized granddaughters, always a “good girl”. But when she started to find the contradictions, she couldn’t go back to ignoring them. And gradually she unglued her mind from the dogma that she’d been taught.
And one day, she left her home and family. She knew what would happen. Mainly they never talked directly to her again, although they said plenty about her – that she was a traitor, that she didn’t have the discipline or stamina to follow the biblical law, that she was only interested in satisfying her lusts. She had heard it before when other relatives left the fold. And it was very strange for Phelps-Roper to be on the outside, trying to make a life for herself, when she had never been without close guidance and support.
Even though I knew what was going to happen, I found the book riveting. Phelps-Roper is painstaking in describing every step of the process, and I felt that I was there with her.
Phelps-Roper writes about her life in this church, surrounded by a really warm and supportive community. The church had been started by Phelps-Roper’s grandfather, and it consisted of about forty people, almost all closely related. Whatever Fred Phelps wanted to do, everybody did, unquestioningly, because he could always come up with some solid biblical reason to do it. They had a pretty consistent philosophical basis for their actions, even though these actions seemed jarringly cruel to the outside world.
What surprised me was that there was very little oppression inside the church, at least when Phelps-Roper was growing up. The kids were encouraged to read, to think, to go to school, and to interact with the outside world through social media, even though they were also informed that everybody besides them was going to burn in hell. Women were given positions of authority, including Phelps-Roper’s mother. Education was stressed, and many of the family members were lawyers. Everyone worked together, and was valued and useful, and the community as a whole discussed matters that affected everyone.
These things changed when Phelps-Roper was a young woman. A number of things came together at once. Her grandfather got old and infirm, and there was a power grab by the younger men in the community. They took all responsibilities away from Phelps-Roper’s mother, and started showing their authority in arbitrary ways. At the same time, Phelps-Roper was getting into some interesting on-line conversations with people in the outside world, and was beginning to question her own assumptions.
The book takes you painstakingly through her process, as she tried to leave behind the only world she had ever known. She wasn’t a misfit before this; she had been one of Phelps’ most prized granddaughters, always a “good girl”. But when she started to find the contradictions, she couldn’t go back to ignoring them. And gradually she unglued her mind from the dogma that she’d been taught.
And one day, she left her home and family. She knew what would happen. Mainly they never talked directly to her again, although they said plenty about her – that she was a traitor, that she didn’t have the discipline or stamina to follow the biblical law, that she was only interested in satisfying her lusts. She had heard it before when other relatives left the fold. And it was very strange for Phelps-Roper to be on the outside, trying to make a life for herself, when she had never been without close guidance and support.
Even though I knew what was going to happen, I found the book riveting. Phelps-Roper is painstaking in describing every step of the process, and I felt that I was there with her.
I didn't really know what to expect with this book but found it very interesting. The author includes so much information about life inside the church and many of the specific verses that are used in the decision making and as justification to actions. And then to follow the process she went through disengaging and moving on was also super fascinating.
I think the way she described how outsiders, using kindness and gentle curiosity, were able to get her to change her mind on things was important. In our polarized world there is a lot of hate and strong words shared between opposing views but if more of us could use kindness when talking to people we differ on opinion with it might make the world a better place.
I think the way she described how outsiders, using kindness and gentle curiosity, were able to get her to change her mind on things was important. In our polarized world there is a lot of hate and strong words shared between opposing views but if more of us could use kindness when talking to people we differ on opinion with it might make the world a better place.
This is a powerful memoir.
I was a reporter in Missouri during Westboro’s heyday and I remember the news releases the church would send regularly. I couldn’t understand their hatred. Most of their threats to attend a funeral or a meeting or something to protest never happened, but they stirred up the community anyway, so I suppose it was mission accomplished for them.
Megan Phelps-Roper was raised in love by her family and a strict doctrine of “We’re right, everyone else is wrong” by her church. When she begins to questions her belief, she knows that to give up one (church), she loses the other — her beloved family.
In many ways, reading Unfollow was like Tara Westover’s Educated. To an outsider, it’s all “They’re terrible! Why did you stay?” We don’t see them as family. The strength Megan shows to not only leave everything she’s ever known, but to not shy away from past actions or place blame, but apologize and try to learn more, to do and be better, is admirable and inspiring.
No one needs to #savemegan. She’ll save herself.
**I received an advanced digital copy of this book from NetGalley for my fair and unbiased review.**
I was a reporter in Missouri during Westboro’s heyday and I remember the news releases the church would send regularly. I couldn’t understand their hatred. Most of their threats to attend a funeral or a meeting or something to protest never happened, but they stirred up the community anyway, so I suppose it was mission accomplished for them.
Megan Phelps-Roper was raised in love by her family and a strict doctrine of “We’re right, everyone else is wrong” by her church. When she begins to questions her belief, she knows that to give up one (church), she loses the other — her beloved family.
In many ways, reading Unfollow was like Tara Westover’s Educated. To an outsider, it’s all “They’re terrible! Why did you stay?” We don’t see them as family. The strength Megan shows to not only leave everything she’s ever known, but to not shy away from past actions or place blame, but apologize and try to learn more, to do and be better, is admirable and inspiring.
No one needs to #savemegan. She’ll save herself.
**I received an advanced digital copy of this book from NetGalley for my fair and unbiased review.**
Slightly slow start but I ended up getting sucked in. Always fascinated by religious cults.
Well written, interesting read. She’s a good human coming to terms with her upbringing
This was a fantastic read. I couldn't put it down. A well-written window on the Westboro Baptist church, and larger questions of doubt, faith, certainty and family.
Unfollow is a memoir of a woman who grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church. She shares memories from childhood within the church, questioning what was preached, eventually leaving the church, and her journey to understand herself and religion. Like many people, I get a bad taste in my mouth when I think of the Westboro Baptist Church (the folks who picket soldier’s funerals and hold up “God hates fags” signs. Yeah. They suck). So this was a fascinating read for me, and brought insight into how different groups interpret and practice religion.
Lots of thoughts are swirling around in my head after finishing Unfollowed. The book provides a fascinating peek inside the Westboro Baptist Church, an entity I have been familiar with nearly all my life. My family often saw them picketing around town, and I made a point to look the other way when we passed. I didn’t know that people would stop their cars in the middle of the street to hurl insults at the picketers or things at things at them -- a bottle of urine, for one -- but I’m not particularly surprised. I was surprised that the the family reveled in the attention, even the more violent forms. I went to school with a couple of Fred’s youngest daughters, Dottie and Abby, and thought them nice enough. I had trouble reconciling their student personas -- sitting in English Lit or running track after school -- with their incessant picketing. Little did I know that they were likely having the same problem. The book is well written (the audiobook is read by Megan) and describes life inside the compound, at once oddly normal and gut-wrenchingly bizarre. I can’t imagine being born into that life, but it was completely normal for Megan...until she began to see inconsistencies and ask questions. It took so much courage for Megan to leave her family and the church, the only life she knew and the only friends she had.