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4.16k reviews for:
Men Who Hate Women: From incels to pickup artists, the truth about extreme misogyny and how it affects us all
Laura Bates
4.34 AVERAGE
4.16k reviews for:
Men Who Hate Women: From incels to pickup artists, the truth about extreme misogyny and how it affects us all
Laura Bates
4.34 AVERAGE
challenging
dark
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
informative
fast-paced
challenging
emotional
informative
slow-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
A must read for the US.
challenging
dark
informative
mysterious
sad
medium-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
tense
medium-paced
I appreciate Laura Bates's books. I have several of them, though the only one I've previously read is Everyday Sexism, which inspired me to write an overtly feminist (and humorous) fantasy novel (and so far 1 agent has requested the full manuscript). But also that book and this one are seriously triggering. It's good to read in small portions... never mind that I'm reading this for a book discussion group. On the bright side, we agred to split this book in half & discuss it in 2 separate months. I'm glad--it's over 400 pages and not an easy topic.
I can't read more than 2 pages without chanting, "Kill all misogynists! Kill all misogynists!"
Something that often crosses my mind since January 2025--including while reading this book: This is not the reality in which I wish to live.
I'm glad I'm not young anymore. This book reminds me of predatory misogynists I encountered in my 20s.
Learning that Albert Ellis, one of the creators of cognitive behavior therapy, was a predatory misogynist is yet another reason to say, "Fuck cognitive behavior therapy." But it's enough that Asshole Audrey the narcissistic sociopath used it to gaslight me. She smuggled a bunch of Cognitive Behavior Therapy worksheets out of her therapist's office and gave them to me. She kept insisting that I'd really benefit from it. I vaguely remember using one of those worksheets and concluding with comments like, "No, it's not in my head. She really is manipulative and deceitful, & that really is an example of her being manipulative and deceitful." I was lucky she didn't find what I wrote.
Page 81: I'm not surprised these needledickbugfuckers project their harassment and fascism onto their scapegoats. Consequences for your hateful, overtly misogynistic, rapey behavior isn't a "censorship wave," fucking piece of fucking shit who should have been aborted.
Page 83: I'm sick of narcissists and sociopaths (in this case, a rapist who got 2 years off his sentence for claiming to be autistic!) trying to cover up their personality disorders by claiming to be autistic. It's not only deceitful and manipulative: it's insulting to people who really are autistic.
Page 99: So... MGTOW [Men Go Their Own Way] misogynists pretend that rape victims are making false accusations and use that as an excuse to hate women & accuse women of being vindictive liars. The mental gymnastics this involves. Misogynists be crazy! I wouldn't be surprised if they're against consent and if some of them committed rape/sexual assault before becoming reclusive.
Page 100: Aaaand more psychotic bullshit. These needledickbugfuckers twist stuff and make up shit for deranged excuses to hate women. Wish they'd spontaneously combust.
Aaaand thanks to these projecting needledickbugfuckers, I suddenly feel like re-reading Women of Ideas: And What Men Have Done to Them (1982) by Dale Spender.
Page 102: Aaaaand resume reading Mediocre by Ijema Oluo. Sooooo much projecting, needledickbugfuckers!
(Actually, it's May 31, so for the next month the books I intend to read will all be queer & trans--and positive. Good for mental health.)
Fun and REAL historical fact: Many suffragists were queer. Suffragists observed that being married to a man usually meant he got in the way of their participation in the Movement. Being married (like a Boston marriage, not a marriage certificate marriage, of course) to a woman meant she helped the Movement & was also a suffragist.
On the subject of REAL historic facts--if not a fun one--it was common for men to take credit for brilliant women's work. In addition to the Dale Spender book I mentioned above, see Pre-Raphaelite Girl Gang by Kirsty Stonell Walker.
Sometimes I feel sorry for straight women--not of course that you must be straight to be targeted and/or raped by misogynists.
I can't read more than 2 pages without chanting, "Kill all misogynists! Kill all misogynists!"
Something that often crosses my mind since January 2025--including while reading this book: This is not the reality in which I wish to live.
I'm glad I'm not young anymore. This book reminds me of predatory misogynists I encountered in my 20s.
Learning that Albert Ellis, one of the creators of cognitive behavior therapy, was a predatory misogynist is yet another reason to say, "Fuck cognitive behavior therapy." But it's enough that Asshole Audrey the narcissistic sociopath used it to gaslight me. She smuggled a bunch of Cognitive Behavior Therapy worksheets out of her therapist's office and gave them to me. She kept insisting that I'd really benefit from it. I vaguely remember using one of those worksheets and concluding with comments like, "No, it's not in my head. She really is manipulative and deceitful, & that really is an example of her being manipulative and deceitful." I was lucky she didn't find what I wrote.
Page 81: I'm not surprised these needledickbugfuckers project their harassment and fascism onto their scapegoats. Consequences for your hateful, overtly misogynistic, rapey behavior isn't a "censorship wave," fucking piece of fucking shit who should have been aborted.
Page 83: I'm sick of narcissists and sociopaths (in this case, a rapist who got 2 years off his sentence for claiming to be autistic!) trying to cover up their personality disorders by claiming to be autistic. It's not only deceitful and manipulative: it's insulting to people who really are autistic.
Page 99: So... MGTOW [Men Go Their Own Way] misogynists pretend that rape victims are making false accusations and use that as an excuse to hate women & accuse women of being vindictive liars. The mental gymnastics this involves. Misogynists be crazy! I wouldn't be surprised if they're against consent and if some of them committed rape/sexual assault before becoming reclusive.
Page 100: Aaaand more psychotic bullshit. These needledickbugfuckers twist stuff and make up shit for deranged excuses to hate women. Wish they'd spontaneously combust.
Aaaand thanks to these projecting needledickbugfuckers, I suddenly feel like re-reading Women of Ideas: And What Men Have Done to Them (1982) by Dale Spender.
Page 102: Aaaaand resume reading Mediocre by Ijema Oluo. Sooooo much projecting, needledickbugfuckers!
(Actually, it's May 31, so for the next month the books I intend to read will all be queer & trans--and positive. Good for mental health.)
Fun and REAL historical fact: Many suffragists were queer. Suffragists observed that being married to a man usually meant he got in the way of their participation in the Movement. Being married (like a Boston marriage, not a marriage certificate marriage, of course) to a woman meant she helped the Movement & was also a suffragist.
On the subject of REAL historic facts--if not a fun one--it was common for men to take credit for brilliant women's work. In addition to the Dale Spender book I mentioned above, see Pre-Raphaelite Girl Gang by Kirsty Stonell Walker.
Sometimes I feel sorry for straight women--not of course that you must be straight to be targeted and/or raped by misogynists.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Stalking, Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment
challenging
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
Was trying to listen to this in the office and it made me so uncomfy if my AirPods accidentally disconnected my coworkers would hear some of the most foul things on earth about women - I work mainly with women
emotional
informative
medium-paced
This book is a great descriptor of the scary place that the online world is turning into for women and how that spills into the offline world and attitudes adopted by offline societies, because as a concept this doesn’t exist anymore. Filled with the vitriol and smoke and mirrors of men who think they hate women but really hate men who hate women perpetuating a sexist and misogynistic agenda. Using schools as a microcosm for the discourse of gender rights in society and where to start to tackle the epidemic of hate against women.