Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'

Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukafka

24 reviews

kananineko's review

challenging dark emotional hopeful mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

I think this book was very well written and very well done, if a little shallow. Every perspective felt necessary and added to the story, and I really enjoyed the focus on victims and women in the story of a male serial killer, but... I feel like it could've dived deeper into the themes, and honestly, not much happened. Dare I say it was a little boring and forgettable... Keep in mind that crime/thriller isn’t my usual genre (I don’t enjoy these types of books as much as other people do). However, it was still an important book. I did shed a tear in the last chapter, which is rare. I also wish Lavendar had more chapters. Overall, I'd consider it a good book, though. The writing was phenomenal as well. I'm glad this book was written but it wasn't anything out of this world. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Child death, Sexual content, Grief, Abandonment, Murder, Violence, and Death

Moderate: Sexual assault, Blood, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Confinement, Injury/Injury detail, Misogyny, Sexism, Emotional abuse, Gore, Physical abuse, Rape, and Sexual violence

Minor: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Racism, Drug abuse, Pregnancy, Suicidal thoughts, Addiction, Police brutality, Pedophilia, Adult/minor relationship, Drug use, Incest, and Xenophobia

charlereads's review against another edition

dark reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cancer, Confinement, Death, Addiction, Medical content, Alcoholism, Alcohol, Body horror, Murder, Sexism, Sexual content, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Blood, Body shaming, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Physical abuse, Abandonment, Child death, Death of parent, Drug use, Drug abuse, Grief, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, and Domestic abuse

ksuazo94's review

challenging dark tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Murder

Moderate: Mental illness, Racism, Abandonment, Toxic relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Addiction, Child abuse, and Death

dazzle_spider_reader_1212's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal death, Emotional abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Death, Suicide, Animal cruelty, Murder, Sexual violence, Violence, Grief, Physical abuse, Death of parent, Misogyny, Child abuse, and Domestic abuse

Moderate: Pregnancy, Suicidal thoughts, Addiction, Suicide attempt, Alcoholism, Classism, Alcohol, Drug abuse, Drug use, Racism, Self harm, and Toxic relationship

c_serpent's review

challenging dark emotional informative sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Five stars for how this novel emphasizes that the serial killer is not special, unique, or extremely evil. He is just a man, and the true loss is in the lives of the women he killed. Five stars for Izzy, Angela, Lila, Jenny, and Saffy.

Total score: 5/5 stars

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Abandonment, Sexual assault, Gore, Misogyny, Animal cruelty, Murder, and Violence

Moderate: Animal death, Child abuse, Child death, Stalking, Blood, Confinement, Death, and Alcoholism

Minor: Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, and Drug use

augustinedreams's review

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gore, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Death, Grief, Mental illness, Abandonment, Addiction, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Animal death, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Animal cruelty, Blood, Murder, Violence, and Child abuse

Moderate: Car accident, Stalking, Sexual content, and Bullying

m4rtt4's review against another edition

dark emotional mysterious reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

SO GOOD. I've consumed so much true crime and fictional crime content in my life, but I've never come across anything like this. There was something in this book I can't quite explain — an underlying feeling of fear? Hollowness? Darkness? Sadness? A black hole that's slowly lurking towards you, it spies on you behind a corner, and while you can feel its eyes on your back, your only escape is to try to ignore it. There are no words for how this book made me feel, but if it helps, I devoured like 75% of it in one sitting. I physically wasn't able to tear my eyes away, to let go. Quite like the feelings explored in this book — they are there, silently shaping you, whether or not you actually pay attention to them. Such a spectacular, exceptional story. And most importantly, it focuses on what's more important than the glorified image of the 'American serial killer' and his horrifying acts — what about the victims, their families and the justice they deserve? (In no way am I sympathetic towards Ansel, but this book only made me more against the death penalty. Not that he deserves to beg for his life, but that kind of 'justice' is not the one I want from the justice system.)

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Murder, Grief, Mental illness, Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Abandonment, Toxic relationship, and Violence

Moderate: Child death, Sexual content, Misogyny, Emotional abuse, and Alcoholism

Minor: Suicidal thoughts

james1star's review against another edition

dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This book was phenomenal. I would totally recommend this, like honestly wow. So mentally stimulating, encapsulating, gripping and I just could not put it down - although at the same time I didn’t want it to end and revel in the characters and messages and plot, will definitely be giving this a reread to get more out of it. 

The plot: Ansel Packer wakes up on the day he is due to be executed and we follow him (from a 2nd person POV = ‘you’) during this day, his thoughts, plans and recollections from his life. Interspersed between these are 3rd person POVs from three women who’s lives were briefly but fundamentally touched by Ansel; his mother Lavender, a fellow child in the same orphanage who later turns out the be the detective who puts him away for serial murders Saffron (Saffy), and the twin sister of his wife Hazel. We get a glimpse into each of their lives as the narrative unfolds from Ansel’s birth to his death, touching on many things and messages. 

The pacing is exceptional. The formatting of the chapters and how the plot unfolds and is pieced together is just wow…Perfection! We get enough detail to see the complexity of each character (and peripheral ones too) with just the right amount of intrigue. Whilst you’re following on and reading each perspective, the lives of these other characters are still in the back of your mind, sometimes being touched on in that specific chapter but normally not so. And then when we get back to them, it just all fits so well together literally amazing. You’re not bored at any point, the detail is just the right amount. 

I’m not a thriller reader… like at all. The last I read was ‘Paper Ghosts’ and I despised it so I was a bit apprehensive going into this at the start. By oh my lord was I hooked. Right from the start and as it went along, I got more and more invested - truly the epitome of a page turner. The lives of these characters, plot twists (kinda) and the whole atmosphere is truly encapsulating. At many points it felt like I had a fist in my throat, on the verge of tears and goosebumps all over my body. And the twists and revelations are literally jaw dropping at times. The writing is also beautiful and lyrical at points too, not something you’d expect in a book that discusses the themes it does. Most of the violence I guess happens off the page as well, so it’s not too graphic (I’d say these TWs are moderately mentioned: domestic abuse, violence, death, animal death, murder, sex content, mental illness, and grief) which I appreciated. The messages and discussions about this notion of morality, the big ‘what-ifs’ in life, justice, redemption and the death penalty is just agh great. The nuance and multiple perspectives and arguments is very varied, you really are made to think, examine your own philosophies and thoughts and come up with conclusions on your own. Kukafka doesn’t spell it out or spoon feed what she wants you to think or get out of this book, the reader does the investigating, coming to their own conclusions about the right/wrong things. The MC Ansel is not written in an explicitly sympathetic way which I love, further adding nuance and speculation. 

Ansel’s Theory at times was a bit over mentioned but did sound very interesting, touching on the notion of choices and memories impacting who we are - which is a mix of good and evil. “Your Theory is more an exploration of the most inherent human truth. No one is all bad. No one is all good. We live as equals in the murky gray between.” “Memory as the thing that makes us individual, as the thing that separates my human consciousness from yours. I have this idea. This theory; I guess. There is no such thing as good or evil. Instead, we have memory and choice, and we all live at various points on the spectrum between. We are created by what has happened to us, combined with who we choose to be.”

My one reservation with this book: the sex scenes were, in my opinion, unnecessary. Thankfully there was only a few but I would say it cheapened these parts. However, they didn’t drag on and were left aside as the book went on. Certainly not enough to negate the full 5 stars this book deserves. 

Some great quotes that stood out to me: 

“… the intoxicating unknown that sits always between two people.”

“The elephant has a psychopath smile, alive in one moment, just an impression in the next.” - damp patch on cell ceiling 

“It was irresistible: the almost.”

“She cried for the things she had wanted, which she couldn't even picture anymore. It was like she'd held her own desire too long in the palm of her hand and it was now just an object, devoid of meaning, useless and taking up space.”

“I wonder about choices. How we resent them, and how we regret them even as we watch them grow.”

“Thought is the purest thing you can leave behind.”

“Love was a thing that could move you and change you, Saffy knew, a mysterious force that made you different and better and warmer and whole.”

“Joy is a cousin of love, you read once. If you cannot feel love, there is at least this weaker relative, tantalizing in memory.”

“Grief was a hole. A portal to nothing… It was a shock of blinding sun. A burst of remembering: sandals on pavement, a sleepy back seat, nails painted on the bathroom floor. Grief was a loneliness that felt like a planet.”

“It was an ambitious concept, justice. The idea that your lot in life could be based on your own choices.”

“The past was a thing you could open like a box, gaze down on with starry eyes. But it was too dangerous to step inside.”

“The future was a mystery, unknowable.”

“… the good parts of the story are nowhere near the end.” 

“It would be a tragedy… if we were defined only by the things we left behind.” 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Mental illness, Murder, Domestic abuse, Grief, Animal death, Death, Sexual content, and Violence

Minor: Death of parent, Racism, Addiction, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Bullying, Drug use, Medical trauma, Pregnancy, Child death, Child abuse, Misogyny, Animal cruelty, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Alcoholism

lindsayerin's review

challenging dark emotional mysterious sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Gore, Mental illness, Animal death, Child death, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Animal cruelty, Murder, and Abandonment

Minor: Suicidal thoughts

candeegirl's review

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? N/A
• Loveable characters? N/A
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

4.75

the format of this book was unlike anything I had read in the past. I found myself very much drawn to the characters and how they viewed their lives and the world around them. such unique characters, with such full backstories. it felt like I was reading multiple books, but they still meshed so well together. I do wish it was a bit more dark, but I believe that's just a personal pref- nothing is sugar-coated. 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Murder

Minor: Suicidal thoughts