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3.94 AVERAGE
3.94 AVERAGE
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
I do really appreciate the portrayal of mental heath struggles and how it can weigh on not only the person having them but the people around that person. There are some really solid moments in here. What I'm not sure about is whether or not Ash is actually likeable as a character--like, someone I wanted to root for. And boy oh boy was Darian's accent ROUGH to read.
Alexis Hall has enormous potential. He is not afraid of difficult MCs, with serious issues. Ash, the narrator of this 1st person POV story has type 1 bipolar disorder. He has panic attacks and periods of depression that he shares with the reader. In his past he has been hospitalized during manic episodes and there has been at least one suicide attempt. He is sometimes genuinely debilitated by his mental issues and sometimes he uses them as an excuse or as a means to manipulate his friends. Ash is honest to god a bit of an ass. He's funny, so that helps, but it is kind of hard to see why he has any friends at all, because he is mean to them most of the time. It's obvious everyone sees something in him, but what that is exactly is not so clear to the reader. The upside is that at least Ash comes to realize he is an ass. I can point out some m/m books in which neither the MC nor the author seems to realize the MC is very unpleasant, so I prefer tales of redemption like this one.
Hall also doesn't make the mental issues magically disappear when they become inconvenient for the love story, although they do seem to get a bit better. I suppose that comes with Ash's growth as a character. It is interesting to see how his mental illness affects his daily life and his relationships and it does give you a measure of sympathy for Ash, enough so that at least you root for him to become a better person and feel that he deserves his happiness in the end.
Hall's dialog shines. Especially the ones that aren't with Darian. As good as the latter are, the way the accent is written is jarring. Some of you won't care, but if you couldn't get through [b:Zero at the Bone|6382879|Zero at the Bone (Zero at the Bone, #1)|Jane Seville|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1239008011s/6382879.jpg|6570901] because of the accent you should not even start this. My personal preference would be to keep the word use ('well special', 'you donut') but to not write it phonetically. It doesn't work for many people and especially ESL readers are going to have a hell of a time figuring out what the characters are saying, which is not conducive to an enjoyable reading experience.
I especially loved the conversations with Amy, Niall and Max. They were witty, sharp and insightful. Kudos to Hall for not even featuring one single loathsome female character, by the way. Thank you, sir! The humor in this book is excellent and there lots of funny scenes in which the writing is great. There was a good balance between the darker, emotional parts of the book and the lighter bits, which made things neither unbearably angsty nor disappointingly fluffy.
This is Hall's first book and he must keep writing, because he has the potential to be very good. But there are a few issues, besides the phonetically written accent, that I hope he will avoid in the future.
First of all he uses some of the tiredest old tropes in the romance genre. As if the mental issues would not provide enough material for a good story, the main trope he uses is the class difference / opposites attract one. The Oxbridge Intellectual and the Ibiza Party Boy, in this case. Class difference has been done to death in het romance and in m/m I can think of a few right off the top of my head, like[b:Brainy and the Beast|13562518|Brainy and the Beast|J.M. Cartwright|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1364960119s/13562518.jpg|19138129],[b:Muscling Through|11045338|Muscling Through|J.L. Merrow|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1327900692s/11045338.jpg|15966033] etc. In the end, I am not sure I've completely bought into Ash and Darien as a couple, but that is a bit of a minor niggle. Also, the Big Misunderstanding in this book may not come from the The-Attractive-Redhead-You-Thought-You-Saw-Me-Flirting-With-Is-Actually-My-Cousin-Trope, but the one Hall uses is almost equally tired and worn out. He'd better not be planning to use an OMG-You-Almost-Died-I-Love-You in his next book, is all I'm saying.
The first third of the book, that we spend with Ash only, is written in a style that some might call lyrical prose, but that for me often crossed the line into purple. I am not asking Hall to turn into Voinov or Manna Francis, that isn't who he is or who he should want to be, but a little more self restraint on the metaphors would help immensely. Sometimes they were opaque to the point of having to read them two or three times to figure out what they meant and that killed the flow of the story. Praise Amazon for the built in dictionary in the kindle, it was heavily used for this book. Although I have to express my disappointment in the New Oxford American Dictionary's inability to deal with Essex colloquialisms. After Darian becomes more prominent in the story and we're not so caught up in Ash's observations and lamentations all the time, the writing gets a lot less purple, and the whole book lightens up.
The author also has an odd habit of interrupting the immersion in Ash's sometimes intense emotions with intellectual reflections that have an oddly distancing effect just when that is uncalled for. For instance in the middle of an anxiety attack we get this (italics are mine):
And later, in the middle of being fucked over his desk we get:
I prefer my sex without references to Plato, personally.
To end on a positive note I am going to leave you with the game of Nabble, a version of Scrabble in which you can not use words that actually exist.
Hall also doesn't make the mental issues magically disappear when they become inconvenient for the love story, although they do seem to get a bit better. I suppose that comes with Ash's growth as a character. It is interesting to see how his mental illness affects his daily life and his relationships and it does give you a measure of sympathy for Ash, enough so that at least you root for him to become a better person and feel that he deserves his happiness in the end.
Hall's dialog shines. Especially the ones that aren't with Darian. As good as the latter are, the way the accent is written is jarring. Some of you won't care, but if you couldn't get through [b:Zero at the Bone|6382879|Zero at the Bone (Zero at the Bone, #1)|Jane Seville|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1239008011s/6382879.jpg|6570901] because of the accent you should not even start this. My personal preference would be to keep the word use ('well special', 'you donut') but to not write it phonetically. It doesn't work for many people and especially ESL readers are going to have a hell of a time figuring out what the characters are saying, which is not conducive to an enjoyable reading experience.
I especially loved the conversations with Amy, Niall and Max. They were witty, sharp and insightful. Kudos to Hall for not even featuring one single loathsome female character, by the way. Thank you, sir! The humor in this book is excellent and there lots of funny scenes in which the writing is great. There was a good balance between the darker, emotional parts of the book and the lighter bits, which made things neither unbearably angsty nor disappointingly fluffy.
This is Hall's first book and he must keep writing, because he has the potential to be very good. But there are a few issues, besides the phonetically written accent, that I hope he will avoid in the future.
First of all he uses some of the tiredest old tropes in the romance genre. As if the mental issues would not provide enough material for a good story, the main trope he uses is the class difference / opposites attract one. The Oxbridge Intellectual and the Ibiza Party Boy, in this case. Class difference has been done to death in het romance and in m/m I can think of a few right off the top of my head, like[b:Brainy and the Beast|13562518|Brainy and the Beast|J.M. Cartwright|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1364960119s/13562518.jpg|19138129],[b:Muscling Through|11045338|Muscling Through|J.L. Merrow|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1327900692s/11045338.jpg|15966033] etc. In the end, I am not sure I've completely bought into Ash and Darien as a couple, but that is a bit of a minor niggle. Also, the Big Misunderstanding in this book may not come from the The-Attractive-Redhead-You-Thought-You-Saw-Me-Flirting-With-Is-Actually-My-Cousin-Trope, but the one Hall uses is almost equally tired and worn out. He'd better not be planning to use an OMG-You-Almost-Died-I-Love-You in his next book, is all I'm saying.
The first third of the book, that we spend with Ash only, is written in a style that some might call lyrical prose, but that for me often crossed the line into purple. I am not asking Hall to turn into Voinov or Manna Francis, that isn't who he is or who he should want to be, but a little more self restraint on the metaphors would help immensely. Sometimes they were opaque to the point of having to read them two or three times to figure out what they meant and that killed the flow of the story. Praise Amazon for the built in dictionary in the kindle, it was heavily used for this book. Although I have to express my disappointment in the New Oxford American Dictionary's inability to deal with Essex colloquialisms. After Darian becomes more prominent in the story and we're not so caught up in Ash's observations and lamentations all the time, the writing gets a lot less purple, and the whole book lightens up.
The author also has an odd habit of interrupting the immersion in Ash's sometimes intense emotions with intellectual reflections that have an oddly distancing effect just when that is uncalled for. For instance in the middle of an anxiety attack we get this (italics are mine):
“My eyes burned as I bargained desperately and silently with a God I didn't believe in. Ah, the pitiful prayers of a rational man. If the mad can be so called. I twisted under Essex's arm and his deep even breathing gusted over my skin.”
And later, in the middle of being fucked over his desk we get:
“But he was there to hold me pinned between the twin pleasures of his hand and his cock....I writhed in pursuit of both, letting his body and all its lean strength drive away everything but desire and the frantic, undignified scramble after physical release. Whatever the internal mechanism that moderated the human capacity for joy, mine had long been broken beyond repair. And I knew this was a poor substitute, a base shadow cast on the cave wall, a reflection in a tarnished mirror of ordinary things like happiness, love and hope. But there were moments fleeting moments, lost in the responses of my body to his when it was almost enough. And God, I wanted, I wanted . These crumbs of bliss. My nails scratched at the desk, my breath a broken torrent."
I prefer my sex without references to Plato, personally.
To end on a positive note I am going to leave you with the game of Nabble, a version of Scrabble in which you can not use words that actually exist.
“He was uncertain at first but soon he was nabbling like an old hand. First came glink ('that like look what happens when two people are fancying each other from across the dance floor'), then gloffle ('like when you put too much toffee in your mouf at once"), then mooshes (“ankle boots made out of crocodile levva wif pompoms hanging on 'em, big in New Zealand”), rapazzled (“off your head, obvs”), and quimpet (“like when hair extensions get all weird up at the top like what 'appened to Britney”). And then, somehow, I got silly and offered up svlenky to describe the motion of his hips while dancing, to which he responded with flinkling, which was apparently what my brow did when I was coming up with something sarcastic to say. From there we moved through a few variations too ridiculous to be recorded. I foolishly formulated glimstruck as a representation of how it felt to be around him, and then we graduated to kissing, still fully clothed like a pair of teenagers on the wreckage of the Scrabble board.”
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This book is extremely well written. It is told in an interesting fashion with the chapter titles describing the timeframe (Now, Yesterday, Later, Another Day, etc). I loved that it doesn't sugarcoat anything about Ash's mental illness or his relationships. He is a very flawed person as are the other characters, especially Niall. Niall is angry and resentful towards Ash which is completely understandable in this situation. The writing is beautifully descriptive and really gets across Ash's feelings about his illness and what it feels like to be him. There is not a lot of plot in this short book but the characters are so real and the writing is so good it is absolutely worth reading.
dark
emotional
funny
inspiring
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
4.5 stars actually.
It's pretty tricky to get a higher than a 4 from me for a contemporary romance. However, this book....oh. So much to unpack. So much juicy emotional angst, classism, mental health issues, Essex culture, and snobbery.
Ash Winters goes to a bar and picks up a boy in a club in Essex who is a stereotypical glitter-shirted, gel-coiffed, accented model. And somehow, despite only wanting a one-night stand, as Ash is a total and complete mess, the glitter boy ends up making him...calm. And happy.
Only Ash is a snobby writer intellectual, and he can't quite reconcile himself to the model/club boy despite how happy it makes him to be with Darian. He makes cutting remarks Darian probably doesn't quite get or blows off. He treats him as embarassing in front of his collegiate/intellectual friends.
But mostly he just considers himself unloveable and broken.
Only that's not how Darian sees him.
And in between there is joyful, steamy smex scenes where they are loving and giving to each other.
There's just a lot of lovely writing in this. Phrases like when Alexis describes being in Darian's presence like feeling light through broken glass, etc.
The emotional complexity and descriptive phrases are what elevates this to 4.5 level. Alexis Hall is rapidly becoming one of my favorite writers.
It's pretty tricky to get a higher than a 4 from me for a contemporary romance. However, this book....oh. So much to unpack. So much juicy emotional angst, classism, mental health issues, Essex culture, and snobbery.
Ash Winters goes to a bar and picks up a boy in a club in Essex who is a stereotypical glitter-shirted, gel-coiffed, accented model. And somehow, despite only wanting a one-night stand, as Ash is a total and complete mess, the glitter boy ends up making him...calm. And happy.
Only Ash is a snobby writer intellectual, and he can't quite reconcile himself to the model/club boy despite how happy it makes him to be with Darian. He makes cutting remarks Darian probably doesn't quite get or blows off. He treats him as embarassing in front of his collegiate/intellectual friends.
But mostly he just considers himself unloveable and broken.
Only that's not how Darian sees him.
And in between there is joyful, steamy smex scenes where they are loving and giving to each other.
There's just a lot of lovely writing in this. Phrases like when Alexis describes being in Darian's presence like feeling light through broken glass, etc.
The emotional complexity and descriptive phrases are what elevates this to 4.5 level. Alexis Hall is rapidly becoming one of my favorite writers.
This is a reread of a favorite that has been re-released and it remains just as moving, sad and silly as it was the first time I read it. Two observations:
1) any book that opens with an Amy Childs quote is automatically brills, babes.
2) my only criticism, which is true of most m/m romances, is the choice of food and then immediate sex. Honey, this may be fiction, but who is begging to bottom after a dinner of cottage pie!?!
1) any book that opens with an Amy Childs quote is automatically brills, babes.
2) my only criticism, which is true of most m/m romances, is the choice of food and then immediate sex. Honey, this may be fiction, but who is begging to bottom after a dinner of cottage pie!?!
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Alexis Hall really has a gift. This is probably my least-favorite of their books so far (I've read maybe 7 at this point?) that that's largely because Ash is very hard to like when he's being cruel and selfish. I do see how that was the point, his journey, but the 3rd act breakup was almost more than I could handle. And the toxic friend, Niall?! Rough going, honestly. Even with those hangups, the story really was enjoyable on the whole, a fast read, often laugh-out-loud funny, and heartbreaking, too. Hall knows how to dig into those emotions!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Self harm, Suicide attempt, Outing
Moderate: Ableism, Mental illness, Toxic friendship
Minor: Biphobia, Fatphobia, Abandonment
Public outing re: mental health, not sexuality. Not once but twice.