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A review by lory_enterenchanted
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard C. Schwartz
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Reviews and more on my blog: Entering the Enchanted Castle
Revolutionary love in action. Schwartz has hit upon a fundamental truth: that exiling, scapegoating, and punishing any part of ourselves only leads to fragmentation and dis-ease -- which is reflected in outer relationships, families, communities, and societies because the way we relate to ourselves is the way we relate to others. And he's also developed a way for bringing back the exiles and relieving other parts of their burdens, although I do not think it's the only way.
In fact, becoming "Self-led" is what Christianity should really be about, or perhaps I should say the way of Christ -- because this way should not become institutionalized and thus robbed of its true life and meaning, as it sadly has been in the Christian religion. It's not something that can be trademarked and sold, as all discoveries tend to become in our commercial world, but a birthright of all human beings. Even IFS probably runs the risk of institutionalizing the impulse and killing it. But if it can stay alive and active, there is hope for humanity. Real hope.
It's amusing/sad to see the negative comments on this book revealing the commenters' own protector parts, who do not want to hear the message. Our protector parts really do not want to be put out of their job -- they are distrustful, scared of being taken in or deceived, and with good reason. The commenters do point out some valid weaknesses, but that overall premise is sound and must be reckoned with. Without myself wanting to go full-on into IFS, it has given me a different way to think about oppositional forces in other people and in myself, and reinforced my determination to foster Self-leadership in myself. To look at all the parts, including those critical protectors, with kindness and curiosity, wondering what it is they really want and need -- that is the healing gesture that has already helped me, when I hit upon it intuitively.
And surely this is the true message of Jesus, who did not want to foster the angry, judgmental separatism that's come into being through many streams of Christianity, but rather exactly this way of union and reintegration. "Love your enemy" is finally given a concrete path to follow, and that's a huge gift. To me, it does not matter by what name you call this message: the important thing is to DO it, to incarnate and shine forth the kindness and compassion, the healing mercy and love. Jesus said that, too. It doesn't matter how much you say "Lord, Lord"; what matters is that you feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc. That's not only or even primarily about physical needs. Through the lens of comforting and healing the "parts" we can see how our unmet inner, soul needs are causing untold harm and dysfunction, and how meeting those needs changes everything.
Particularly interesting to me is the statement that Self appears in everyone when blocking elements relax and step back, and does not have to be created or developed or even strengthened through forceful inner work. This is very much different from the strenuous "inner work" spiritual streams I have been connected with, that have never worked for me and left me feeling defective and inadequate. I think I've been devoting my energy to the wrong thing, and a simple shift toward relaxing, opening, giving permission and letting be might make a difference. I will be exploring this and seeing where it leads.
Revolutionary love in action. Schwartz has hit upon a fundamental truth: that exiling, scapegoating, and punishing any part of ourselves only leads to fragmentation and dis-ease -- which is reflected in outer relationships, families, communities, and societies because the way we relate to ourselves is the way we relate to others. And he's also developed a way for bringing back the exiles and relieving other parts of their burdens, although I do not think it's the only way.
In fact, becoming "Self-led" is what Christianity should really be about, or perhaps I should say the way of Christ -- because this way should not become institutionalized and thus robbed of its true life and meaning, as it sadly has been in the Christian religion. It's not something that can be trademarked and sold, as all discoveries tend to become in our commercial world, but a birthright of all human beings. Even IFS probably runs the risk of institutionalizing the impulse and killing it. But if it can stay alive and active, there is hope for humanity. Real hope.
It's amusing/sad to see the negative comments on this book revealing the commenters' own protector parts, who do not want to hear the message. Our protector parts really do not want to be put out of their job -- they are distrustful, scared of being taken in or deceived, and with good reason. The commenters do point out some valid weaknesses, but that overall premise is sound and must be reckoned with. Without myself wanting to go full-on into IFS, it has given me a different way to think about oppositional forces in other people and in myself, and reinforced my determination to foster Self-leadership in myself. To look at all the parts, including those critical protectors, with kindness and curiosity, wondering what it is they really want and need -- that is the healing gesture that has already helped me, when I hit upon it intuitively.
And surely this is the true message of Jesus, who did not want to foster the angry, judgmental separatism that's come into being through many streams of Christianity, but rather exactly this way of union and reintegration. "Love your enemy" is finally given a concrete path to follow, and that's a huge gift. To me, it does not matter by what name you call this message: the important thing is to DO it, to incarnate and shine forth the kindness and compassion, the healing mercy and love. Jesus said that, too. It doesn't matter how much you say "Lord, Lord"; what matters is that you feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc. That's not only or even primarily about physical needs. Through the lens of comforting and healing the "parts" we can see how our unmet inner, soul needs are causing untold harm and dysfunction, and how meeting those needs changes everything.
Particularly interesting to me is the statement that Self appears in everyone when blocking elements relax and step back, and does not have to be created or developed or even strengthened through forceful inner work. This is very much different from the strenuous "inner work" spiritual streams I have been connected with, that have never worked for me and left me feeling defective and inadequate. I think I've been devoting my energy to the wrong thing, and a simple shift toward relaxing, opening, giving permission and letting be might make a difference. I will be exploring this and seeing where it leads.