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A review by kwugirl
Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior by Ron McMillan, Kerry Patterson, Al Switzler, Joseph Grenny
3.0
This is probably a very good book for a people manager to read. The examples are not bad, though I remain skeptical that they resolve out as easily as described. The first couple chapters were the ones that had the most useful insights for me, namely, getting clear with yourself first on what the actual underlying violated commitment for you is, when there are multiple aspects to a particular disappointment.
To be fair, though, I have extremely low tolerance for people that don't uphold their commitments (this includes people who are forgetful or oblivious to the commitments other people believe they've agreed to). Pretty much for the rest of the book, I was stewing in resentment that you would have to put in so much time and energy to coax people along into doing what they said they do. To me, it's very simple: just don't tell me you're going to do something if you're not going to. But of course, this requires that people be honest with themselves about their priorities and abilities, and I'm told that most people shy away from that. Currently, though, my solution is not to rely on very many people, but I suppose that's the luxury of an individual contributor and introvert.
To be fair, though, I have extremely low tolerance for people that don't uphold their commitments (this includes people who are forgetful or oblivious to the commitments other people believe they've agreed to). Pretty much for the rest of the book, I was stewing in resentment that you would have to put in so much time and energy to coax people along into doing what they said they do. To me, it's very simple: just don't tell me you're going to do something if you're not going to. But of course, this requires that people be honest with themselves about their priorities and abilities, and I'm told that most people shy away from that. Currently, though, my solution is not to rely on very many people, but I suppose that's the luxury of an individual contributor and introvert.