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A review by jandi
Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone
5.0
Very focused on improving how one processes feedback from others. Applicable to the workplace and personal relationships (family - the set of people that can really push your buttons).
Main takeaways for me:
* There are three types of feedback
- Appreciation (thank you!)
- Coaching (this is how you can improve...)
- Evaluation (this is where you stand)
* Many disconnects come from a mismatch between the feedback the giver is intending to provide vs the kind of feedback the receiver interprets (typical example is seeking for evaluation and receiving coaching, which is interpreted as a negative evaluation)
* We tend to reject feedback that challenges our identity. The threat is larger if our identity is stationary (we are born with a certain skill set) vs evolutionary (one can learn and develop skills).
* Very useful framework provided to tackle diverging lines of feedback (one person is upset about something, the other person is upset about something completely different, and they are at an impasse until both concerns are adequately recognized and addressed without derailing the original conversation).
* Communication! Don't assume what the other person means - ask for details before disregarding/embracing advise.
Main takeaways for me:
* There are three types of feedback
- Appreciation (thank you!)
- Coaching (this is how you can improve...)
- Evaluation (this is where you stand)
* Many disconnects come from a mismatch between the feedback the giver is intending to provide vs the kind of feedback the receiver interprets (typical example is seeking for evaluation and receiving coaching, which is interpreted as a negative evaluation)
* We tend to reject feedback that challenges our identity. The threat is larger if our identity is stationary (we are born with a certain skill set) vs evolutionary (one can learn and develop skills).
* Very useful framework provided to tackle diverging lines of feedback (one person is upset about something, the other person is upset about something completely different, and they are at an impasse until both concerns are adequately recognized and addressed without derailing the original conversation).
* Communication! Don't assume what the other person means - ask for details before disregarding/embracing advise.