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awylde_'s reviews
190 reviews
Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.0
The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better by Gretchen Rubin
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
I love personality profiles and theories, as well as all manner of self-help. I can appreciate the framework and I can see that it has been useful to many, but my biggest hang up is that I don’t ~like~ Rubin. I want to, and I tried to, but while reading her book I found myself feeling othered and condescended by her at every turn. It doesn’t feel like she was careful in her approach to describing other people, possibly believing that others should “know their flaws and limitations,” without considering what others consider their own limitations to be.
I don’t think she had a fair-minded editor, and I don’t think she’s a very broadly compassionate person. I can see that she has attempted to give an overview of each tendency, but I feel she has made many many unsupported claims based on limited research who likely self selected for their interest in Rubin and her work.
I don’t feel that Rubin understands me, or even this very narrow element of me (how I respond to expectations), and mostly I don’t feel like her book is written for me. This is confirmed when I look at the users on her Better App. Wouldn’t you know it? A quick glance confirms that 99% of users appear to be straight, white cis-women, at or near Rubin’s own age. To assume that your work extends beyond yourself (or your nearest projections of self in those who see themselves in you) feels arrogant.
What is abundantly clear is that Rubin considers herself to be a “normal” nice lady, and an upholder. And it’s not hard to see that she considers normal to mean those like her, evidenced by the sheer number of readers who felt that she paints the upholder (her own tendency) as the envy of all and the aspiration for all others. She tries to mask this with one off comments like “you should let everyone handle things in their own way” which she tacks on to the end of the book without carrying as a through line.
I didn’t set out to write a review this long, but there is real disappointment for me when I see just how extensively Rubin has been able to monetize herself. Some people can really help and heal when they can compassionately and fairly get others to see themselves more clearly. Based on this book, I feel that Rubin is not the person for the task.
I don’t think she had a fair-minded editor, and I don’t think she’s a very broadly compassionate person. I can see that she has attempted to give an overview of each tendency, but I feel she has made many many unsupported claims based on limited research who likely self selected for their interest in Rubin and her work.
I don’t feel that Rubin understands me, or even this very narrow element of me (how I respond to expectations), and mostly I don’t feel like her book is written for me. This is confirmed when I look at the users on her Better App. Wouldn’t you know it? A quick glance confirms that 99% of users appear to be straight, white cis-women, at or near Rubin’s own age. To assume that your work extends beyond yourself (or your nearest projections of self in those who see themselves in you) feels arrogant.
What is abundantly clear is that Rubin considers herself to be a “normal” nice lady, and an upholder. And it’s not hard to see that she considers normal to mean those like her, evidenced by the sheer number of readers who felt that she paints the upholder (her own tendency) as the envy of all and the aspiration for all others. She tries to mask this with one off comments like “you should let everyone handle things in their own way” which she tacks on to the end of the book without carrying as a through line.
I didn’t set out to write a review this long, but there is real disappointment for me when I see just how extensively Rubin has been able to monetize herself. Some people can really help and heal when they can compassionately and fairly get others to see themselves more clearly. Based on this book, I feel that Rubin is not the person for the task.
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Did not finish book.
Did not finish book.
It was just slow for me, and the characters were not endearing or interesting. I'm not interested in the military and the age of the book made it feel like references I might have gotten at the time were lost on me.