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citrus_seasalt's reviews
314 reviews
Thirsty by Jas Hammonds
4.5
I knew this would fuck me up a bit when I saw both Cory McCarthy and Mark Oshiro blurbed itđ
(emphasis on Cory. Dear god I canât go through what I went through reading âMan Oâ Warâ again. Very glad I didnât come close to that LMAOOO)
Literally could not put this book down, I think it says a lot about Jas Hammonds as a writer that this could deal with a topic as heavy as alcohol addiction, and I still didnât want to stop reading it. Blakeâs experience differs a lot from my other friends who struggled with alcoholism, but I could still uncomfortably feel her spiral. (I dunno. I have other unhealthy coping mechanisms that arenât drinking, and am going through a kinda pretty terrible depressive episode right now, so her thought process was unfortunately something I could resonate with in some capacity.) A lot of the characters were realistic, too, and I loved seeing their depth when it couldâve been easy to generalize them as heroes or villains in Blakeâs narrative. (Though, there are clear-cut antagonists, like Roxanne and Ella.) In general, a lot of the difficult conversations had between family or friends felt super realistic?!
And I know other reviewers have talked about it, but I thought how Blake dealt with her mom, and her shortcomings as a white parent trying to avoid talking about race with her biracial kid, was handled really well imo. Especially in the South where this book takes place, many white women who try to be anti-racist end up dancing around racism instead, in a super condescending way. (I have aunts who definitely talk exactly like how Blakeâs mom does.) Iâm glad more biracial or transracial adoptee writers can call it out in their books.
My only gripes are that I found elements of the story to be predictable, and I donât know how to feel about the outing scenes being resolved so quickly (even though I know that, yeah, Blake loses control of herself when she drinks). But I definitely want to check out Jas Hammondâs debut now, this was amazing!
Literally could not put this book down, I think it says a lot about Jas Hammonds as a writer that this could deal with a topic as heavy as alcohol addiction, and I still didnât want to stop reading it. Blakeâs experience differs a lot from my other friends who struggled with alcoholism, but I could still uncomfortably feel her spiral. (I dunno. I have other unhealthy coping mechanisms that arenât drinking, and am going through a kinda pretty terrible depressive episode right now, so her thought process was unfortunately something I could resonate with in some capacity.) A lot of the characters were realistic, too, and I loved seeing their depth when it couldâve been easy to generalize them as heroes or villains in Blakeâs narrative. (Though, there are clear-cut antagonists, like Roxanne and Ella.) In general, a lot of the difficult conversations had between family or friends felt super realistic?!
And I know other reviewers have talked about it, but I thought how Blake dealt with her mom, and her shortcomings as a white parent trying to avoid talking about race with her biracial kid, was handled really well imo. Especially in the South where this book takes place, many white women who try to be anti-racist end up dancing around racism instead, in a super condescending way. (I have aunts who definitely talk exactly like how Blakeâs mom does.) Iâm glad more biracial or transracial adoptee writers can call it out in their books.
My only gripes are that I found elements of the story to be predictable, and I donât know how to feel about the outing scenes being resolved so quickly (even though I know that, yeah, Blake loses control of herself when she drinks). But I definitely want to check out Jas Hammondâs debut now, this was amazing!
Something's Up with Arlo by Matteo L. Cerilli
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.5
Thank you so much to the author, Matteo L. Cerrilli, for sending me an eARC in exchange for an honest review!
Matteo L. Cerrilli has only published 2 books thus far, but heâs already looking up to be another influential voice in the landscape of trans and queer-led horror for youth. I read his debut, âLockjawâ, at the beginning of this year and was absolutely blown away by it. While âSomethingâs Up With Arloâ has to keep its deaths at a minimum, and maintains a snark and adventure for its younger audience that âLockjawâ never had to, I found this nearly just as tense, and it barely downplayed its horror. I hope this finds its way into the hands of kids who read Goosebumps but want something with a little more emotional oomph.
(But ugh, I hate how Arlo was introduced as this very lovable character and then we barely got any time with that version of him! I know just getting the reader used to him before he corrupts is the point, and itâs there to make the haunting even sadder, but. Oof that definitely sucked some of the fun out of the story, there were times I had to put this down because it was so emotionally draining LOL. Grief overtones, not my beloved or beloathed but a secret third thingâŠ)
I especially appreciated Neroâs quiet gender exploration. Iâm used to reading books that pivot their focus to a characterâs queerness, even in the middle of a heart-pounding mystery or a gradually escalating horror. The lack of focus on it is definitely due toit being left unresolved, but I wouldnât argue itâs something that can be easily relegated to the background, either. Itâs a not frequently mentioned, but important part of their character. (And, Iâm going to use they/them pronouns because of Neroâs reaction to Flickâs parents referring to them with those.) And, this is sorta ramble-y, but between that, and a startlingly on-point portrayal of mental illness, I wonder the kind of person I wouldâve been if I was Neroâs age and could see myself reflected in the pages of a book like this. I was privileged enough to have a great education that meant I learned about depression and anxiety symptoms in my middle school health class, and I had the home environment to come out at a young age, but having less clinically-worded models couldâve helped me verbalize some parts of myself a little earlier.
I wasnât surprised by the integration of multiple religious practices because I was familiar with some of Cerrilliâs Instagram posts about the characters in this book, but I was surprised at how all of them were given the same amount of importance and effectiveness! Itâs an angle I donât see many ghost hunting stories take, thereâs usually an emphasis on vanquishing spirits solely with Christian practices (at least, I can speak on Western media).
My main issue with this book, though, is that I wouldâve liked to have more time with Flick and Emily. While this isnât what Iâd describe as a âslow-pacedâ story (thereâs something creepy happening at least every other chapter), it does take a while for Nero to branch out, become involved with those two characters, and actually make some progress in the mystery. (I found Flick especially endearing. They were quite dorky and I wouldâve liked to see more of them outside of the ghost stuff.) Emily, in particular, took a while to get to know the mindset of, and all of her issues kinda got dumped in two sentences and barely acknowledged because there werenât enough pages left to do so. I think the bulk of my annoyance comes from the Instagram character bios being more spoiler-y than I realized, though.
I also wouldâve liked to see some kind of resolution for Neroâs relationships with their parents. So much was left without a resolution, which I suppose was for the sake of realism, but⊠I feel like in a fictional story with a set beginning and end, thereâs only a set number of things I can excuse being left open-ended before I start pointing it out. (And! What the heck did their dad mean by him âhaving a friend over from workâ that Nero shouldnât tell their mom about?! I thought that would pop up again in the story but it was one line that was never addressed again??! Unless Iâm missing something??)
But overall, this is definitely another grief-heavy ghost story I enjoyed. I havenât loved an ARC before, but I can proudly say this is the first time I have! For a middle grade, this was surprisingly mature, even if it kept itself entertaining. Iâm a little sad about having to let go of Nero and their crew. Iâd definitely recommend this to anyone who was a fan of âJasmine Is Hauntedâ by Mark Oshiro. (Which, Book Fae actually did, and thatâs how this even got to be on my radar! Fae, if youâre reading this, youâre a genius.)
Matteo L. Cerrilli has only published 2 books thus far, but heâs already looking up to be another influential voice in the landscape of trans and queer-led horror for youth. I read his debut, âLockjawâ, at the beginning of this year and was absolutely blown away by it. While âSomethingâs Up With Arloâ has to keep its deaths at a minimum, and maintains a snark and adventure for its younger audience that âLockjawâ never had to, I found this nearly just as tense, and it barely downplayed its horror. I hope this finds its way into the hands of kids who read Goosebumps but want something with a little more emotional oomph.
(But ugh, I hate how Arlo was introduced as this very lovable character and then we barely got any time with that version of him! I know just getting the reader used to him before he corrupts is the point, and itâs there to make the haunting even sadder, but. Oof that definitely sucked some of the fun out of the story, there were times I had to put this down because it was so emotionally draining LOL. Grief overtones, not my beloved or beloathed but a secret third thingâŠ)
I especially appreciated Neroâs quiet gender exploration. Iâm used to reading books that pivot their focus to a characterâs queerness, even in the middle of a heart-pounding mystery or a gradually escalating horror. The lack of focus on it is definitely due to
I wasnât surprised by the integration of multiple religious practices because I was familiar with some of Cerrilliâs Instagram posts about the characters in this book, but I was surprised at how all of them were given the same amount of importance and effectiveness! Itâs an angle I donât see many ghost hunting stories take, thereâs usually an emphasis on vanquishing spirits solely with Christian practices (at least, I can speak on Western media).
My main issue with this book, though, is that I wouldâve liked to have more time with Flick and Emily. While this isnât what Iâd describe as a âslow-pacedâ story (thereâs something creepy happening at least every other chapter), it does take a while for Nero to branch out, become involved with those two characters, and actually make some progress in the mystery. (I found Flick especially endearing. They were quite dorky and I wouldâve liked to see more of them outside of the ghost stuff.) Emily, in particular, took a while to get to know the mindset of, and all of her issues kinda got dumped in two sentences and barely acknowledged because there werenât enough pages left to do so. I think the bulk of my annoyance comes from the Instagram character bios being more spoiler-y than I realized, though.
I also wouldâve liked to see some kind of resolution for Neroâs relationships with their parents. So much was left without a resolution, which I suppose was for the sake of realism, but⊠I feel like in a fictional story with a set beginning and end, thereâs only a set number of things I can excuse being left open-ended before I start pointing it out. (And! What the heck did their dad mean by him âhaving a friend over from workâ that Nero shouldnât tell their mom about?! I thought that would pop up again in the story but it was one line that was never addressed again??! Unless Iâm missing something??)
But overall, this is definitely another grief-heavy ghost story I enjoyed. I havenât loved an ARC before, but I can proudly say this is the first time I have! For a middle grade, this was surprisingly mature, even if it kept itself entertaining. Iâm a little sad about having to let go of Nero and their crew. Iâd definitely recommend this to anyone who was a fan of âJasmine Is Hauntedâ by Mark Oshiro. (Which, Book Fae actually did, and thatâs how this even got to be on my radar! Fae, if youâre reading this, youâre a genius.)
The Deep by Rivers Solomon
4.0
Might raise (or lower??? idk) my rating, who knows. Somewhere between a 4 and a 5 stars. I see some people confused about the differences of the plural self POV and Yetuâs singular POV, but I think by the second or third plural self chapter the timeline should click into place. I also think that based on me reading this and âSorrowlandâ, I can gather that Rivers Solomon always writes very creative premises that duelly capture the complexity of generational trauma, especially racial trauma. The worldbuilding done with Solomonâs interpretation of âThe Deepâs lyrics was also fascinating, itâs easy to pinpoint from Yetuâs personal journey which section of the song is being written about, but itâs still very much their writing.
Honestly, I predicted Ooriâs significance as soon as that one human in the Rememberings was introduced (I feel like a lot of the bookâs messaging hinges on the events from those memories being repeated in a way), but I liked seeing her kinship with Yetu, since she spent so much of the novel feeling like her struggle was unique and couldnât be shared by anybody. And this is a very minor thing, but I appreciate that the thing that finalized Oori and Yetuâs relationship was a more personal (and grand) gesture of love, rather than a kiss or something else of the sort.
Yetu was kind of a difficult character for me to get invested in, though. Not only is the beginning a little slow, but the Rememberings hollowed her out. uhhh Iâll continue writing this later i got some ice cream and an audiobook i wanna listen to as I eat it
Despite the short length of this novella, there is so much to process. Maybe there couldâve been a few more pages because of the quickness of the ending, but that should still be a testament to the authorâs talent, in my opinion.
Honestly, I predicted Ooriâs significance as soon as that one human in the Rememberings was introduced (I feel like a lot of the bookâs messaging hinges on the events from those memories being repeated in a way), but I liked seeing her kinship with Yetu, since she spent so much of the novel feeling like her struggle was unique and couldnât be shared by anybody. And this is a very minor thing, but I appreciate that the thing that finalized Oori and Yetuâs relationship was a more personal (and grand) gesture of love, rather than a kiss or something else of the sort.
Yetu was kind of a difficult character for me to get invested in, though. Not only is the beginning a little slow, but the Rememberings hollowed her out. uhhh Iâll continue writing this later i got some ice cream and an audiobook i wanna listen to as I eat it
Despite the short length of this novella, there is so much to process. Maybe there couldâve been a few more pages because of the quickness of the ending, but that should still be a testament to the authorâs talent, in my opinion.
Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
4.5
(Please let me know if I misspelled any charactersâ names! I only read this via audio.)
Fast-paced, gorey, and engaging in a way that often juxtaposes the inherent bleakness of the narrative by placing you in the shoes of the Chain-Gang viewers. Those factors, and fantastic narration done by Shayna Small, Michael Crouch, Lee Osorio, and Aaron Goodson (but mostly Shayna, to be honest) made chapters easy to listen to in one sitting, but also left me with a lingering sick feeling, and a dread palpable enough to make me hesitant to pick up my Playaway again, despite how invested I was. This isnât subtle and never tries to be. Yes, this led to it being very easy to see when inner or external monologues were mouthpieces for the points the story was making, but it also put so much emphasis on the theatrical, outrageous nature of the premise that I think it worked in a way. Thatâs, of course, subjective, but I didnât dock many points.
Thereâs another major reason Chain-Gang All-Stars kept my interest from start to end, though: The cast is extensive, with tens of POVs of different roles. From the Links mentioned in the summary (and part of the titular show within a book), to viewers keeping themselves watching a real-life battle Royale with the power of cognitive dissonance, callous TV executives, and even a scientist I wonât reveal the plot importance of, every possible moral question and political aspect of this horrifically realistic dystopia is proposed and answered in the form of these charactersâ thoughts. It was so incredibly easy to be immersed in this bookâs futuristic America, and not just because itâs only a fictionalized continuation of current systemic racism. This was a mixed bag, though. Not only are some POVs less bigoted than others, and it gets nearly impossible to count how many there are after a certain point, but I sometimes felt detached from a characterâs emotions. Particularly (Iâll be placing emphasis on them since theyâre who I care about and is meant to be rooted for), some of the Links, and the resistance fighters. While I found Mari, Kai and Nyleâs POVâs compelling, and a realistic depiction of a grassroots movement, I didnât feel a strong emotional pull towards them, despite how well-rounded their characters were. I think it was just the writing style? Only a few of the POVs are written in first-person. (But also, there were some moments in the first-person chapters where different emotions still felt spelled out?)
I feel like Hendrix and Simon were the two characters where it was easiest to feel their spirals, likely because of the first-person writing, but also how they were read: Hendrixâs narrator, Aaron Goodson, actually sang in the audiobook, and characterized him with a vulnerability and dry-sounding misery that was absolutely haunting. Iâm still unsure how to feel about Simon, but his instability was also narrated very well by Michael Crouch and it was honestly disturbing to listen to. Of course, though, a bulk of the bookâs heart is in Loretta Thurwar and Henrietta Stacksâ relationship. There are several points in the story where, in the hands of a less mature author, they could have easily turned on each other, or broken up over a misunderstanding. Instead, their security, and their precarious balance between being a tether for the otherâs humanity and being a commodity of the public eye, offered a softness (and occasional reprieve) between the violence. (I also liked the poly aspect with Mac, and Thurwarâs thoughts around what both of her relationships offered her.) They were sweet, even until the heartbreaking end.
If I had to list my second favorite dynamic within the Angola-Hammond chain (and eventual found family), it would be Staxxx and Ricoâs mentor-mentee dynamic. Staxxxâs motivations could definitely be a little dubious sometimes, but Rico was such a noticeably young, not-jaded Link within the group that it was both sweet and heartbreaking to see his earnestness, and his excitement at kinda being taken under her wing. And plus, Staxxx keeps her humanity intact throughout and genuinely cares about so many of her other Links. Ugh.
Unsure how to feel about the anecdotes? They grounded Chain-Gang All-Stars, at least in part, in reality. But I also felt they would sometimes break the flow of the story, especially narrated. (Worth noting that Shayna Small narrates every anecdote, so sometimes, her voice would pop-in during another narratorâs chapter.) And despite the heaviness of their subject matter, I thought that they sometimes made a charactersâ experiences feel tied more to their statistics, instead of given weight.
But overall, Iâd definitely recommend this. Though. Iâd be a little pissed if it gets an adaptation, given⊠yâknow.
Fast-paced, gorey, and engaging in a way that often juxtaposes the inherent bleakness of the narrative by placing you in the shoes of the Chain-Gang viewers. Those factors, and fantastic narration done by Shayna Small, Michael Crouch, Lee Osorio, and Aaron Goodson (but mostly Shayna, to be honest) made chapters easy to listen to in one sitting, but also left me with a lingering sick feeling, and a dread palpable enough to make me hesitant to pick up my Playaway again, despite how invested I was. This isnât subtle and never tries to be. Yes, this led to it being very easy to see when inner or external monologues were mouthpieces for the points the story was making, but it also put so much emphasis on the theatrical, outrageous nature of the premise that I think it worked in a way. Thatâs, of course, subjective, but I didnât dock many points.
Thereâs another major reason Chain-Gang All-Stars kept my interest from start to end, though: The cast is extensive, with tens of POVs of different roles. From the Links mentioned in the summary (and part of the titular show within a book), to viewers keeping themselves watching a real-life battle Royale with the power of cognitive dissonance, callous TV executives, and even a scientist I wonât reveal the plot importance of, every possible moral question and political aspect of this horrifically realistic dystopia is proposed and answered in the form of these charactersâ thoughts. It was so incredibly easy to be immersed in this bookâs futuristic America, and not just because itâs only a fictionalized continuation of current systemic racism. This was a mixed bag, though. Not only are some POVs less bigoted than others, and it gets nearly impossible to count how many there are after a certain point, but I sometimes felt detached from a characterâs emotions. Particularly (Iâll be placing emphasis on them since theyâre who I care about and is meant to be rooted for), some of the Links, and the resistance fighters. While I found Mari, Kai and Nyleâs POVâs compelling, and a realistic depiction of a grassroots movement, I didnât feel a strong emotional pull towards them, despite how well-rounded their characters were. I think it was just the writing style? Only a few of the POVs are written in first-person. (But also, there were some moments in the first-person chapters where different emotions still felt spelled out?)
I feel like Hendrix and Simon were the two characters where it was easiest to feel their spirals, likely because of the first-person writing, but also how they were read: Hendrixâs narrator, Aaron Goodson, actually sang in the audiobook, and characterized him with a vulnerability and dry-sounding misery that was absolutely haunting. Iâm still unsure how to feel about Simon, but his instability was also narrated very well by Michael Crouch and it was honestly disturbing to listen to. Of course, though, a bulk of the bookâs heart is in Loretta Thurwar and Henrietta Stacksâ relationship. There are several points in the story where, in the hands of a less mature author, they could have easily turned on each other, or broken up over a misunderstanding. Instead, their security, and their precarious balance between being a tether for the otherâs humanity and being a commodity of the public eye, offered a softness (and occasional reprieve) between the violence. (I also liked the poly aspect with Mac, and Thurwarâs thoughts around what both of her relationships offered her.) They were sweet, even until the heartbreaking end.
Unsure how to feel about the anecdotes? They grounded Chain-Gang All-Stars, at least in part, in reality. But I also felt they would sometimes break the flow of the story, especially narrated. (Worth noting that Shayna Small narrates every anecdote, so sometimes, her voice would pop-in during another narratorâs chapter.) And despite the heaviness of their subject matter, I thought that they sometimes made a charactersâ experiences feel tied more to their statistics, instead of given weight.
But overall, Iâd definitely recommend this. Though. Iâd be a little pissed if it gets an adaptation, given⊠yâknow.
Bingo Love by Tee Franklin
4.0
another biased as fuck 4 star rating bc yes this has pacing issues. Yes, the storytelling format was clunky. Yes, this advertises two other Bingo Love installments halfway through the book and itâs really annoying. But it was CUTE, OKAY. I mean I think the segments of them as teens were cuter than the present day ones bc they went over the different steps of their relationship more BUT STILL. I loved the art style too, AND THE ENDING MADE ME ACTUALLY CRY? GODDAMNIT I JUST WANTED TO READ SOMETHING FLUFFYđ
perfect Valentineâs Day read tho if you want to get to something short and sweet. I just happened to be 8 days late for that
perfect Valentineâs Day read tho if you want to get to something short and sweet. I just happened to be 8 days late for that
The Pirate and the Porcelain Girl by Emily Riesbeck
adventurous
funny
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.25
A Million Quiet Revolutions by Robin Gow
5.0
was thinking of giving this a 4.5 or 4 stars at first, but then I got to Aaronâs POV and they went all in with the poetry!! I was hesitant about how Iâd feel about this, considering as itâs focused around U.S. colonial-era history, but both Aaron and Oliverâs complicated thoughts about connecting with history and trying to find themselves in it, definitely will resonate with a lot of people in several different ways. Genuinely, itâs so awesome to see in literature the mindset of a person getting into queer history to better know themself. Oliver having a Tumblr is just the cherry on top of the accuracy LMAOOOO
It also helps that the romance feels natural and is so, so sweet. (Yes, thereâs some conflict, but none of it feels contrived, and itâs pretty on-brand for their different home environments.) The phone call scene before they go to the reenactment had me gigglinggg, theyâre so sweet in an awkward way, and besides that, Aaron and Oliver have distinctive voices I love to see banter. (Not sure when else to say this, but I thought the text-speak was actually fantastic LOL. Genuinely got flashbacks to my first and only relationship I had in freshman year)
This is the second book Iâve read by Robin Gow, and not only do I appreciate him keeping creativity and vulnerability intact in his contemporary narratives, but also the ways he writes about the complexity (and confusion) of gender. God, so many of Aaronâs thoughts especially were things I remember writing about in my journals (or just thinking) when I first came out!! I also loved how while both him and Oliver were trans boys, they had different thoughts around their expression and their gender. I always gobble up whenever t4t romances do that!! (something something Lakelore mention.)
I think the only criticism I have is that Oliverâs chapters often felt choppy, but thisâll definitely cement Robin Gow as an auto-buy author for me. For this being a YA debut, he nailed the feelings of being a teen, and showed that through vulnerable and often beautiful passages. (But. Why have I been reading so many small town trans-centered stories recently, is that my niche nowđđ) (thatâs a joke. I grew up in the suburbs)
It also helps that the romance feels natural and is so, so sweet. (Yes, thereâs some conflict, but none of it feels contrived, and itâs pretty on-brand for their different home environments.) The phone call scene before they go to the reenactment had me gigglinggg, theyâre so sweet in an awkward way, and besides that, Aaron and Oliver have distinctive voices I love to see banter. (Not sure when else to say this, but I thought the text-speak was actually fantastic LOL. Genuinely got flashbacks to my first and only relationship I had in freshman year)
This is the second book Iâve read by Robin Gow, and not only do I appreciate him keeping creativity and vulnerability intact in his contemporary narratives, but also the ways he writes about the complexity (and confusion) of gender. God, so many of Aaronâs thoughts especially were things I remember writing about in my journals (or just thinking) when I first came out!! I also loved how while both him and Oliver were trans boys, they had different thoughts around their expression and their gender. I always gobble up whenever t4t romances do that!! (something something Lakelore mention.)
I think the only criticism I have is that Oliverâs chapters often felt choppy, but thisâll definitely cement Robin Gow as an auto-buy author for me. For this being a YA debut, he nailed the feelings of being a teen, and showed that through vulnerable and often beautiful passages. (But. Why have I been reading so many small town trans-centered stories recently, is that my niche nowđđ) (thatâs a joke. I grew up in the suburbs)
Man o' War by Cory McCarthy
5.0
Edit: raised my rating to 5 stars! Even though it isnât perfect, it deeply emotionally affected me. And I want to start rating books higher based more on their personal impact. Pardon the sassy start of the review, in that case.
Part Bildungsroman that sometimes got lost in its aquarium-lit nostalgia and melancholy, part semi-average coming-out YA contemporary, always emotionally dense, fluid, and such a realistic look into dysphoria and the pain of being closeted that it was sometimes draining. Thank you to Alex (@obscure.pages) for recommending this so highly! I think Iâd have to be bribed with an absurd amount of money to go through this again, but the writing was beautiful and absolutely visceral.
River is a character I donât expect everyone to like. Theyâre self-deprecating (and even self-sabotaging), frequently resentful or anxious, and their growth is a very slow process, where within that awkward timeframe that it canât quite happen yet (when they donât have access to all of themself), they take out their resentment on others. The small-town Ohio setting was intrinsically tied to their identity-based claustrophobia, something that I thought that, while not written with subtlety, was tangible and easy to empathize with. I loved seeing a coming out story like theirs. It was complex and longer-term, in a way that is rarely depicted in queer media. Their characterization is complex, too, and goodness, thatâs always wonderful to see even if sometimes results in mortifying decisions! Seeing them grow up was also a bittersweet and rewarding experience.
I liked the side characters, too. Indy and Catherineâs ever-changing characterization through Riverâs eyes was especially interesting: Catherine goes from feeling a little superficial, to being a realistic depiction of a long-distance but good friend that pops in and out of your life. Her bluntness goes hand-in-hand with Riverâs, but sheâs more confident and not as jaded. Indy⊠I had mixed feelings on, I wonât lie, just because of how heavily theyâre idolized at first, and their relationship with River sometimes tiptoeing into codependency. (Although, a lot of that is addressed.) For that reason, I found it difficult to root for the main relationship, and didnât give this book a perfect rating. However, as much as the break up pissed me off, the writing being more obvious about Indyâs commitment issues helped to characterize them as someone imperfect.
Side characters, cont: I enjoyed Riverâs support system, too. Namely, the Chengs, Everett (I liked his solidarity especially when him and River were teens, even if he didnât have a ton of on-page time with them), and the highschool swim characters (they have more development than the college ones, lol). Their role in Riverâs development was obvious, but they were still endearing. A lot of that, I think, comes from how personal in nature the plot feels. Thereâs definitely a feeling of looking back on all these memories with a mix of sadness and joy, that just radiates from the pages.
I definitely feel like this is like âThe Ship We Builtâ by Lexie Bean in that it near-flawlessly encapsulates the mindset of the age group itâs writing about. (This time, though, I get to be in the target age range!! What a special experience!) Specifically regarding Riverâs anticipatory nostalgia, I can see it being too much melodrama for some, and I found it a little repetitive Iâll admit, but I remember feeling that way throughout both middle and highschool, haha! Holy shit though, I love that the teenage experience isnât romanticized. Mrs Chengâs conversation with River (and the quote that came from it) was incredibly validating. Riverâs youth ticks some coming-of-age flick checkboxes, however, thereâs still the suffocating feeling of still being young enough to have to live under your parentâs house and control, while you figure out yourself and your independence.
I agree with Laurel on this being a unique YA novel. I hope more people check it out. I hope this helps teens and can get in language arts curriculums one day. I definitely wonât be looking at Portuguese man oâ wars the same way.
(P.S., someone please make this into a film!! Iâll pay hundreds of dollars just to fly to wherever it plays.)
Part Bildungsroman that sometimes got lost in its aquarium-lit nostalgia and melancholy, part semi-average coming-out YA contemporary, always emotionally dense, fluid, and such a realistic look into dysphoria and the pain of being closeted that it was sometimes draining. Thank you to Alex (@obscure.pages) for recommending this so highly! I think Iâd have to be bribed with an absurd amount of money to go through this again, but the writing was beautiful and absolutely visceral.
River is a character I donât expect everyone to like. Theyâre self-deprecating (and even self-sabotaging), frequently resentful or anxious, and their growth is a very slow process, where within that awkward timeframe that it canât quite happen yet (when they donât have access to all of themself), they take out their resentment on others. The small-town Ohio setting was intrinsically tied to their identity-based claustrophobia, something that I thought that, while not written with subtlety, was tangible and easy to empathize with. I loved seeing a coming out story like theirs. It was complex and longer-term, in a way that is rarely depicted in queer media. Their characterization is complex, too, and goodness, thatâs always wonderful to see even if sometimes results in mortifying decisions! Seeing them grow up was also a bittersweet and rewarding experience.
I liked the side characters, too. Indy and Catherineâs ever-changing characterization through Riverâs eyes was especially interesting: Catherine goes from feeling a little superficial, to being a realistic depiction of a long-distance but good friend that pops in and out of your life. Her bluntness goes hand-in-hand with Riverâs, but sheâs more confident and not as jaded. Indy⊠I had mixed feelings on, I wonât lie, just because of how heavily theyâre idolized at first, and their relationship with River sometimes tiptoeing into codependency. (Although, a lot of that is addressed.) For that reason, I found it difficult to root for the main relationship, and didnât give this book a perfect rating. However, as much as the break up pissed me off, the writing being more obvious about Indyâs commitment issues helped to characterize them as someone imperfect.
Side characters, cont: I enjoyed Riverâs support system, too. Namely, the Chengs, Everett (I liked his solidarity especially when him and River were teens, even if he didnât have a ton of on-page time with them), and the highschool swim characters (they have more development than the college ones, lol). Their role in Riverâs development was obvious, but they were still endearing. A lot of that, I think, comes from how personal in nature the plot feels. Thereâs definitely a feeling of looking back on all these memories with a mix of sadness and joy, that just radiates from the pages.
I definitely feel like this is like âThe Ship We Builtâ by Lexie Bean in that it near-flawlessly encapsulates the mindset of the age group itâs writing about. (This time, though, I get to be in the target age range!! What a special experience!) Specifically regarding Riverâs anticipatory nostalgia, I can see it being too much melodrama for some, and I found it a little repetitive Iâll admit, but I remember feeling that way throughout both middle and highschool, haha! Holy shit though, I love that the teenage experience isnât romanticized. Mrs Chengâs conversation with River (and the quote that came from it) was incredibly validating. Riverâs youth ticks some coming-of-age flick checkboxes, however, thereâs still the suffocating feeling of still being young enough to have to live under your parentâs house and control, while you figure out yourself and your independence.
I agree with Laurel on this being a unique YA novel. I hope more people check it out. I hope this helps teens and can get in language arts curriculums one day. I definitely wonât be looking at Portuguese man oâ wars the same way.
(P.S., someone please make this into a film!! Iâll pay hundreds of dollars just to fly to wherever it plays.)