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couldbestephen's reviews
202 reviews
All Systems Red by Martha Wells
4.5
“As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure.” The first paragraph of All Systems Red hooks you right away and whisks you along a satisfyingly short science fiction story. Murderbot is an adorably awkward murderer who just wants to watch his soap operas and protect his humans. Well’s voice for MB is stellar, the writing is tight and solid, and leaves me wanting more in the world of The Murderbot Diaries! So much to explore, so much entertainment to watch, many more people to murder.
Shiver by Crea Reitan
1.0
“Men Writing Women” is well documented and discussed online. Now let’s discuss “Women Writing Men.” Particularly, “Women Writing Gay Men.” Because wow, if I read another line about how a penis was sentient and apparently thought for itself, I was going to throw my Kindle. As a gay man, Crea Reitan’s first venture into MM “romance” makes me incredibly uncomfortable due to the clear fetishization of an entire marginalized community and the perpetuation of harmful stereotypes and tropes. I do not recommend this book and would encourage readers to stay away from this author. Spoilers below.
This book isn’t poorly written per se, but it doesn’t stand out as anything special. It follows the “rules” of the genre to deliver a run-of-the-mill story. It’s erotic fiction with hockey. You have all the standard tropes, toxic romance, and “satisfying” endings you could want. But as a queer book? It’s evident the author only sees gay men as vehicles for her sexual fantasies and is writing for other straight women who also don’t think of us as more than masturbation material. In today’s climate, writing like this and then getting mad at queer men for calling you out is a bold choice.
Even though the author follows several gay (at least queer presenting) OnlyFans models on Twitter, it’s clear she doesn’t interact with the gay community in any significant way, because any gay AMAB person could tell you that we can’t just have spontaneous sex for hours, days, weeks at a time, especially after eating meals that can mess up the gut. Unless one partner is a trans individual with an AFAB body, it’s just not happening. I don’t care if it breaks romantic/sexual immersion to have a character run to the bathroom for a half hour before engaging in sex, it’s gotta happen. There’s a lot more problems with the “representation” of queer people that we will get to soon.
Rakesh is a gay man of color who preys on straight men for sex. In the first few pages, we learn how he is a rampant misogynist (he spends time judging women’s bodies to determine if they are conventionally attractive) and a predator of men he finds attractive (mostly straight men). “I want to corrupt the world, one straight man at a time…” (pg 103). He doesn’t like sleeping with other gay men because they are “too easy” and he likes a challenge. The only other gay man in the story is a guy who also likes to sleep around. There is no other mention of queer culture or people. Enter Egon, a college hockey player who needs a tutor to help him pass his classes to stay on the hockey team. Rakesh reluctantly helps and starts to fall for the grey-eyed, innocent Egon. Yes, this story is about a gay man of color preying on a straight, white man.
Egon’s girlfriend is constantly cheating on him and when Egon finds out, he is driven into Rakesh’s arms and the story rushes forward from there. Reitan uses incredibly misogynistic writing to describe most of the women in this work, particularly this girlfriend. She is an aggressive person with no boundaries who likes to grope men (much like Reitan herself when she decided to step into MM romance). The first time Egon and Rakesh have penetrative sex, there is no prep, Rakesh basically fists him, and then they have sex. Reitan writes these sex scenes like Rakesh was a straight man and Egon is a straight cis woman. This isn’t gay, this is a straight person’s interpretation of gay sex, and it’s bad. As the story progresses, the two become incredibly codependent on each other. We get to witness a toxic relationship that will eventually be rewarded. Rakesh realizes he’s fallen for Egon and cuts him off. Egon falls into a deep depression and needs to be hospitalized. The two do end up together again and by the end of the book, elope. Tada.
Most mm romance (i.e. erotic fiction) is written by and for straight, cis women. That is a problem. Queer stories and themes are being poorly represented by these authors and other women who read this will internalize it. It also leads to women fetishizing gay men. We have a problem with straight women going to gay bars, invading gay spaces and assaulting us. Reitan wrote a work where you could substitute Egon with a woman, and it would still work. I don’t care if tropes and generalization are what makes this genre work. If you are going to write outside your experience, you fucking do it right. Works like this, works that perpetuate harmful stereotypes and don’t accurately address the queer experience? We don’t appreciate them. Our lives are not for your consumption.
This author clearly doesn’t care about input from queer men, as seen by her behavior on TikTok and how in her acknowledgments, only women, no men, are thanked. Stay away from Crea Reitan.
Arch-Conspirator by Veronica Roth
3.0
As a short retelling of Antigone by Sophocles, this is a fun, quick read. Veronica Roth is a solid author with a casual writing style that dips into fun descriptive prose every so often. I wish the world had been built up a little more. I know this was just meant to be a small novella, but we have such vague description of this heavily Grecian inspired apocalyptic future that I was left wanting more by the end.
Solid read, would recommend.
Solid read, would recommend.
Assassin of Reality by Marina Dyachenko, Sergey Dyachenko
3.5
This book left me even more confused than the first, but it was a confusion I could revel in. Once you get over the pesky human need for timelines to make sense and people to be “people,” you’re left with Speech. Creation. Passwords.
The romance between Sasha and the new man was a little… strange? I’m not the biggest fan of the scenes with him and her (and everything else he brings). People the student love exist to be “fridged” for the characters progression towards reverberation, which makes the dynamics a lil wonky.
Again, I wouldn’t recommend this book to a “casual” reader. You’re not in this for a flashy “magical education” style novel. It plods along, keeping a steady pace as Sasha learns more about the world she wishes to… change.
The translation is beautiful, the prose and story feel “Russian” in a way that would be hard to describe to someone who hasn’t lived with their nose in a book for most of their life. If you’re down for a unconventional story, you’ll still appreciate what this book does.
I might need to come back and update this when I’ve thought on it more, but wow. The Dyachenko’s did it again. Rest in peace Sergey.
The romance between Sasha and the new man was a little… strange? I’m not the biggest fan of the scenes with him and her (and everything else he brings). People the student love exist to be “fridged” for the characters progression towards reverberation, which makes the dynamics a lil wonky.
Again, I wouldn’t recommend this book to a “casual” reader. You’re not in this for a flashy “magical education” style novel. It plods along, keeping a steady pace as Sasha learns more about the world she wishes to… change.
The translation is beautiful, the prose and story feel “Russian” in a way that would be hard to describe to someone who hasn’t lived with their nose in a book for most of their life. If you’re down for a unconventional story, you’ll still appreciate what this book does.
I might need to come back and update this when I’ve thought on it more, but wow. The Dyachenko’s did it again. Rest in peace Sergey.
Battle for Bergonia by
1.0
I have nothing new to write that I haven’t previously said in my past reviews of Berg’s works. This third book is more of the same stuff we saw in The Magestics and Conquest of Fire; poor plotting, bad prose, flat characters, and typos galore. Berg’s ability to not improve his writing style over 6 years and 5 books is the only thing impressive here.
If you’ve bought this book from the author at a convention or fair, or are looking up reviews to see if it’s worth buying, save yourself. Don’t do it. This unedited fantasy “epic” isn’t even a fun bad read. It’s not worth the money the author put into publishing it.
Self published authors - please hire editors. Please have people read your work who can be critical of it. You don’t have to go to school and study English to be an author but for God’s sake, you’ve gotta work on your talent and let others help you.
If you’ve bought this book from the author at a convention or fair, or are looking up reviews to see if it’s worth buying, save yourself. Don’t do it. This unedited fantasy “epic” isn’t even a fun bad read. It’s not worth the money the author put into publishing it.
Self published authors - please hire editors. Please have people read your work who can be critical of it. You don’t have to go to school and study English to be an author but for God’s sake, you’ve gotta work on your talent and let others help you.
Vita Nostra by Marina Dyachenko, Sergey Dyachenko
dark
slow-paced
5.0
I'm struggling to write a cohesive review for this book that adequately contains the absolute love and admiration I have for it. I've never read a book that I loved so intensely that I know I'd never recommend to anyone. If the phrase "Franz Kafka meets Lev Grossman in this incredibly surrealist, mind-bending novel about a woman who attends the Russian Institute of Special Technologies to learn Speech" doesn't spark some sort of interest, then this isn't for you. To be honest, I don't think this book is for most people. But for the ones who make it through and <i> reverberate </i>, this will be amazing.
This story isn’t your classic magical school discovery story at all. It doesn't have a big bad. There is no Beast for the protagonist to defeat, there is no Voldemort lurking in every dark corner, and there is no governmental conspiracy for us to unravel. There is only education. The biggest hurdle Sasha, our main character, must overcome is her own mind. Alexandra is an incredibly powerful construct but is constantly kept in check by teachers who truly know more than her and only want to keep her alive as she grows into her power.
I can see how this could be a polarizing book. This isn't a flashy, magical adventure. I'm not even sure what we are reading is technically "magic." It's Language. It's Verbs, Pronouns, and Nouns. It's Creation. It's beautiful, it's bizarre, it's art. And it's not for a casual reader. Especially as you get near the end, the complexity and confusion is wild. The plot is slow and drags. I’m genuinely sorry for the people who thought they were getting into some HP story and were instead confronted with something that has the casual enjoyment factor of watching concrete dry. There’s also no denying that the uncomfortable tasks and lessons the students must endure can be over the top.
If you're looking for an easier read with a semi-similar vibe, I'd recommend A Deadly Education (Novik), An Unkindness of Magicians (Howard), and The Magicians Trilogy (Grossman). These are more classically paced magic novels that will engage a wider audience. I cannot stress enough how much of a slow burn novel this is that will fuck with your head. There is no "fun" here. But it is beautiful.
This story isn’t your classic magical school discovery story at all. It doesn't have a big bad. There is no Beast for the protagonist to defeat, there is no Voldemort lurking in every dark corner, and there is no governmental conspiracy for us to unravel. There is only education. The biggest hurdle Sasha, our main character, must overcome is her own mind. Alexandra is an incredibly powerful construct but is constantly kept in check by teachers who truly know more than her and only want to keep her alive as she grows into her power.
I can see how this could be a polarizing book. This isn't a flashy, magical adventure. I'm not even sure what we are reading is technically "magic." It's Language. It's Verbs, Pronouns, and Nouns. It's Creation. It's beautiful, it's bizarre, it's art. And it's not for a casual reader. Especially as you get near the end, the complexity and confusion is wild. The plot is slow and drags. I’m genuinely sorry for the people who thought they were getting into some HP story and were instead confronted with something that has the casual enjoyment factor of watching concrete dry. There’s also no denying that the uncomfortable tasks and lessons the students must endure can be over the top.
If you're looking for an easier read with a semi-similar vibe, I'd recommend A Deadly Education (Novik), An Unkindness of Magicians (Howard), and The Magicians Trilogy (Grossman). These are more classically paced magic novels that will engage a wider audience. I cannot stress enough how much of a slow burn novel this is that will fuck with your head. There is no "fun" here. But it is beautiful.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Body horror and Misogyny
Conquest of Fire by James W. Berg
1.0
It's almost impressive how little the writing improved from "The Magestics" to "Conquest of Fire." I think what bothers the most about Berg's writing (beyond the constant typos, grammatical errors, bad dialogue, and inappropriate tags) is how little trust he seems to place in his readers. We are constantly reintroduced to characters we've met; we're given full names, powers, and their relationship to the plot constantly. Maybe it's for the best, none of the characters really have personalities and I couldn't keep anyone straight. They were just names on the page.
There were too many characters in this book. Trying to keep track of all the Magestics and their powers, the wielders of the Artifacts and their powers, and all the other people surrounding those people was bewildering. I kept forgetting people existed until they just randomly started talking and I was reminded, oh yeah, you're still here. The characters rarely felt truly in danger until the last confrontation, there was always someone who would step in at the last second to aid them. Every. Single. Time.
Speaking of the last confrontation... it basically negated all the work done to build up the Artifacts. We thought they needed all of them to bring back Drol Greb, but turns out they didn't! So why spend so much time chasing them and sending assassins and... Honestly, a lot of retconning happened in this book. What little decent world-building we get is constantly undermined by the author himself, most notably the "magic alarms." Those are basically pointless now. The rules on what triggers them keep changing. The naming conventions for the different races has changed from the last book and makes even less sense, particularly for the merfolk.
Spoilers, but Lija, who I think is still 16(!!) is pregnant. Another queer character burns to death. Another painful, amateurish read.
There were too many characters in this book. Trying to keep track of all the Magestics and their powers, the wielders of the Artifacts and their powers, and all the other people surrounding those people was bewildering. I kept forgetting people existed until they just randomly started talking and I was reminded, oh yeah, you're still here. The characters rarely felt truly in danger until the last confrontation, there was always someone who would step in at the last second to aid them. Every. Single. Time.
Speaking of the last confrontation... it basically negated all the work done to build up the Artifacts. We thought they needed all of them to bring back Drol Greb, but turns out they didn't! So why spend so much time chasing them and sending assassins and... Honestly, a lot of retconning happened in this book. What little decent world-building we get is constantly undermined by the author himself, most notably the "magic alarms." Those are basically pointless now. The rules on what triggers them keep changing. The naming conventions for the different races has changed from the last book and makes even less sense, particularly for the merfolk.
Spoilers, but Lija, who I think is still 16(!!) is pregnant. Another queer character burns to death. Another painful, amateurish read.
A Date for Dinner by James W. Berg
1.0
There was a part of me that had hoped that in the two years since publishing The Magestics, James W Berg had improved. Maybe he at least hired an editor to look over his work or found an honest friend to help him do some developmental editing. After seeing the typo and horrific prose on the first page, I realized I had set my hopes too high. It all went downhill from there.
The part that bugged me the most was the constant referral to the main character's homosexuality as "a lifestyle." Why a gay man is using conservative rhetoric to describe his (what feels like another self insert) gay character is beyond me. I couldn't decide if the mother was supposed to be secretly homophobic or accepting in a weirdly problematic way.
This is a classic Berg story, complete with bad dialogue, inappropriate dialogue tags, amateurish writing, and an unoriginal twist ending.
The part that bugged me the most was the constant referral to the main character's homosexuality as "a lifestyle." Why a gay man is using conservative rhetoric to describe his (what feels like another self insert) gay character is beyond me. I couldn't decide if the mother was supposed to be secretly homophobic or accepting in a weirdly problematic way.
This is a classic Berg story, complete with bad dialogue, inappropriate dialogue tags, amateurish writing, and an unoriginal twist ending.
The Magestics by James W. Berg
1.0
If you’re looking for a riveting debut fantasy novel, filled with intriguing characters and unique magic, keep looking. I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone. In an objective/technical sense, this might be the worst book I’ve read in a long time. “The Magestics” is a shining example of the importance of competent editors (both line and developmental) and honest beta readers.
The writing style and voice screams untrained amateur. “Never show, only tell” seems to be the author’s motto. Clunky prose and poor grammar made the reading experience legitimately painful most of the time. The dialogue between characters is atrocious and the tags often make no sense and do not match the energy of the conversation. Em-dashes are never used and ellipses used rarely, making for some incredibly weird dialogue. At any given time, we may be interacting with up to 8-9 different characters, none of whom have a distinct personality other than the traits we are explicitly told about but they never display. And the typos. Oh God, the typos. They somehow got worse as the book progressed. “Feinted” instead of “fainted,” “ladder” instead of “latter”… Even if the author had just been able to hire a line editor to catch mistakes, that would have made this marginally better.
The world building is nonsensical, messy, and often downright contradictory. I think the author was just coming up with things on the fly half the time. Everything we learn about Bergonia and its history comes in painful exposition dumps that stops whatever momentum James was able to build. You’d think the worldwide magic ban would pose more of a problem than it does, but there’s always loopholes and exceptions for why spells are being flung left and right. There’s a difference between “magic” (the spells are mixed up English words, no original language was created here) and Magesti (the nature magic the Magestics can wield). What that real difference happens to be is beyond me and the author. The plot is just 4 groups MacGuffin hunting and none of the hunts are interesting. The biggest crime is how bland everything is. This is just a run-of-the-mill fantasy world with no distinct cultures, basic creatures, and a shitty magic system.
The worst part of this book is how blatant of a self insert fantasy this is. The main character’s name is the author’s name spelled backwards. The Gandalf/Dumbledore insert is the author’s partner’s name spelled backwards (Jesse becomes Essej). The numerous characters we encounter all seem to be named after people the author knows, either employing some weird tactic to hide it (the merpeople’s names are things like Ard-Rich and En-Steve. I want you to guess how you rearrange those to get the real names). The big bad, Drol Greb? That’s Lord Berg. James loves backwards things.
Getting through this book was a work of pure spite. I was never given the chance to be immersed in this world because of all the glaring mistakes and poor writing. I just have to ask if anyone in James’ life has been honest about his skill level as a writer or if everyone legitimately thinks this is peak literature. This book could have potentially been a D class children’s fantasy if more time had been spent actually making it readable. What we’re left with is not worth the money or time.
The writing style and voice screams untrained amateur. “Never show, only tell” seems to be the author’s motto. Clunky prose and poor grammar made the reading experience legitimately painful most of the time. The dialogue between characters is atrocious and the tags often make no sense and do not match the energy of the conversation. Em-dashes are never used and ellipses used rarely, making for some incredibly weird dialogue. At any given time, we may be interacting with up to 8-9 different characters, none of whom have a distinct personality other than the traits we are explicitly told about but they never display. And the typos. Oh God, the typos. They somehow got worse as the book progressed. “Feinted” instead of “fainted,” “ladder” instead of “latter”… Even if the author had just been able to hire a line editor to catch mistakes, that would have made this marginally better.
The world building is nonsensical, messy, and often downright contradictory. I think the author was just coming up with things on the fly half the time. Everything we learn about Bergonia and its history comes in painful exposition dumps that stops whatever momentum James was able to build. You’d think the worldwide magic ban would pose more of a problem than it does, but there’s always loopholes and exceptions for why spells are being flung left and right. There’s a difference between “magic” (the spells are mixed up English words, no original language was created here) and Magesti (the nature magic the Magestics can wield). What that real difference happens to be is beyond me and the author. The plot is just 4 groups MacGuffin hunting and none of the hunts are interesting. The biggest crime is how bland everything is. This is just a run-of-the-mill fantasy world with no distinct cultures, basic creatures, and a shitty magic system.
The worst part of this book is how blatant of a self insert fantasy this is. The main character’s name is the author’s name spelled backwards. The Gandalf/Dumbledore insert is the author’s partner’s name spelled backwards (Jesse becomes Essej). The numerous characters we encounter all seem to be named after people the author knows, either employing some weird tactic to hide it (the merpeople’s names are things like Ard-Rich and En-Steve. I want you to guess how you rearrange those to get the real names). The big bad, Drol Greb? That’s Lord Berg. James loves backwards things.
Getting through this book was a work of pure spite. I was never given the chance to be immersed in this world because of all the glaring mistakes and poor writing. I just have to ask if anyone in James’ life has been honest about his skill level as a writer or if everyone legitimately thinks this is peak literature. This book could have potentially been a D class children’s fantasy if more time had been spent actually making it readable. What we’re left with is not worth the money or time.