emilyrainsford's reviews
367 reviews

It All Makes Sense Now: Embrace Your ADHD Brain to Live a Creative and Colorful Life by Meredith Carder

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hopeful informative

3.75

This was a pretty nice and easy reading book about being ADHD.

As an AuDHDer, I can struggle to connect with pure ADHD content, as I don't experience externalised hyperactivity and my autism interacts with my ADHD to create its own unique experience. This one resonated a lot more, having been written by an adult-diagnosed woman, and covering more than just the standard diagnostic traits for ADHD.

Having said that, the very thing that made the book resonate with me is also the thing that irritated me a bit. Because there are a few chapters where it's like "this isn't one of diagnostic criteria but a lot of ADHDers experience this..." and then it goes on to describe... an autistic trait. The book felt like the book I've been wanting to read about AuDHD, but it thinks it's only about ADHD. It's a bit of a pet peeve of mine that people seem to be trying to expand the definition of ADHD to encompass autistic traits. ADHD is a disorder with very specific diagnostic criteria. Sensory issues are not ADHD. Black and white thinking is not ADHD. They're autism. My personal, possibly controversial opinion is that a lot of adult women's ADHD diagnoses are missing the "u".

The chapters are structured the same: based around a certain trait, such as time blindness or rumination, they begin with a personal anecdote from the author, move into discussion of the trait, and end with practical tips. 

I'm not at a point in my journey where I'm interested in tips and I know myself well enough to know that I'm never going to look at them again, let alone implement them. Plus they're all pretty standard, logical things. So I honestly skim read the tips and I don't think I took anything new or practically useful from the book. 

But I did find it a very validating read, and that's really what I read this type of book for. Not to change myself, but just to see myself in the pages, to know it's an experience I'm not alone in. For that, this book definitely served its purpose better than another popular ADHD book I tried.
The Trip by Phoebe Morgan

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mysterious tense medium-paced

3.0

The blurb for this book is incredibly misleading. The "vicious murder" that shatters the perfect holiday, mentioned in the very second line of the blurb, sounds like it is going to be the kicking off point of the story. Imagine my surprise when I'm on page 280 of a 320 page book and no murders have as yet taken place. 

In fact, the advertised murder is essentially the climax of the whole book. Um, spoiler alert?? I don't understand how multiple publishing professionals must have read this blurb in connection with this book and said - oh yes, this is a perfect representation of the story. Like???

Most of the book is the two couples being on a holiday in Thailand that is less pleasant than they'd hoped.

And it's definitely easy reading and I was honestly enjoying it, but it felt like it just petered out. Not a single thing was surprising about the ending. I spent a lot of the book thinking "you'd solve this problem if you just did X" and then they do X, the end. Okay??

A solid ending would have made this a solid read for me. As it stands, it all just feels like a bunch of nothing. A travelogue of someone's disappointing trip ruined by interpersonal drama.
Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine

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informative slow-paced

4.5

An incredibly intelligent, level-headed and eye-opening examination of the real science behind the concept that gender differences are embedded in the brain. 

A lot of pop-science about "men's brains" and "women's brains" became very popular for a while - something about Mars and Venus - all while touting itself as irrefutable biology. 

In this book, Fine outlines study after study - and pulls apart others - to demonstrate that the "science" behind the idea that men and women have fundamentally different brains is no better than phrenology. She offers extremely compelling evidence that the differences we perceive between genders is far more nurture than nature. 

Consider just one of the many many studies she quotes, in which male and female students given a maths exam performed similarly - but when they were asked to merely tick their gender in a box beforehand, girls performed worse. Simply being primed with this factual demographic information before the exam was enough to activate all the subconscious beliefs the girls had about who they were in the world, what they were capable of, what their strengths were (and weren't).

I feel like this book should be required reading for literally everyone. It's not a breezy read - it's research-dense, meticulous... though not without the odd spot of wry, intelligent humour. But it provides knowledge and perspective that's invaluable to understanding how the world works - and how it tells us our place in it, without us even realising.
The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

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dark mysterious tense slow-paced

4.5

So I know I'm pretty late to get on board this train but I wasn't actually expecting this to be so - good??

I think I mentally chucked it in the bin of "super popular, probably not that good" alongside Gone Girl and The Silent Patient (first one wasn't bad, I just didn't enjoy it. second one was just bad).

But I was genuinely surprised by how good this was. 

It's well written, for starters. High quality prose. Complex characters. Multiple unreliable narrators, who you feel yourself getting caught up in, even as you're questioning them.

No it wasn't particularly fast paced, but I enjoyed being in the story, I felt a strange fondness for hot mess Rachel, I liked being the observer of it all, watching it slowly unfold. It's almost like the reader becomes the "girl on the train" themselves, getting caught up in these people's lives without ever quite being sure they know the whole story. 

Not often I say this, but this is a book that deserved its success. I'm really glad I accidentally forgot my phone at work the other day and had to pick this up off the office swap table for break time entertainment!
The One by John Marrs

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emotional reflective tense medium-paced

3.75

If you could get a simple DNA test to tell you the one person in the world who was your perfect romantic match ("the One") - would you do it?

What if they were a lot older or younger than you? Or a different gender than you expected? Or dead? Or... a serial killer?? Or or or...

The premise of this one is super interesting, but I must admit, the execution is a bit different than I was expecting.

For starters, despite the cover, it's not a thriller, and I'd barely call it a suspense. It's more of a speculative fiction/drama imo. 

We follow five characters and their journey with being "Matched" using a new DNA romantic matching system that has taken the world by storm. The book mainly just explores this idea via the various characters and all the consequences it has for their lives and the lives of those around them. 

The chapters are short and alternate between the five characters. This makes it quite easy to read, and after a slower start, it did become harder to put down as it went on. I definitely did get invested in the various storylines. 

One of the main characters is a serial killer who is a literal psychopath. I found his storyline the hardest to stomach as we see his murders graphically but through his eyes of detachment. 

I saw one reviewer complain that all the female characters are portrayed as unstable and making terrible decisions, but honestly ~same~ so I didn't really notice it lol.

There are some decent twists at the end and most of the stories get a fairly satisfying ending, but I admit I finished it feeling like there was just something... missing. I think the cover just makes it seem more *thrilling* than it was, there were shocking events but no real sense of urgency and it all felt a bit detached. 

I was definitely entertained, and I thought the concept was interesting to explore. I think it's good to go in with the right expectations with this one. I would try more from the author.
Last Seen Online by Lauren James

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adventurous lighthearted mysterious

4.25

I thoroughly enjoyed this YA mystery novel about fandom and obsession! 

It is structured to capture that feeling of going on an internet deep dive down a wild fandom rabbit hole, with blog posts, comments and text messages amongst the prose. I feel that it captured this side of humanity really well. 

Main character Delilah (and her mum) felt very ADHD/neurodivergent coded to me, which ~same~ so I found her character very relatable. I've seen a couple of reviews call the MC immature but I just don't see it at all, given I'm a 41 year old woman and I related to her a lot. Unfortunately neurodivergent people can often be perceived as immature so I wonder if that's the case here. Feeling like you don't quite know how to do relationships, questioning yourself and being "too much" for people were all very relatable experiences for me as an AuDHD adult that I saw reflected on the page in the main character, and I personally liked that a lot. 

Sawyer was also a sweet lil cinnamon roll, I liked him a lot, and he and Delilah's fledgling connection. 

Even though it's a YA novel, I wonder if maybe it'll feel more relatable to those who grew up in the livejournal/Tumblr/blogging era honestly.

I must admit, I didn't see the very last twist coming and I wasn't really a fan of Delilah keeping it a secret, but it was a good surprise! 

It's funny, as I was nearing the end of the book, I felt like it could easily be a series and that I'd love to read more about the characters, so I was pleased to log in to Goodreads and see the series link! I really enjoyed this and would definitely read another.
The Games Gods Play by Abigail Owen

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adventurous lighthearted medium-paced

3.75

Eh.

This was aggressively okay. 

I mean, it was definitely better than Fourth Wing, so that's a start. 

I really should have loved this. It's got trials! Greek mythology! Short chapters! And I *love* the Percy Jackson series. 

It was fairly entertaining but I just found myself getting bored with it. The main character was fine but I didn't care about her much. The writing and story read like middle grade for adults. I love middle grade and I am an adult, yet somehow it just felt a little incongruous. 

Maybe I'm just getting too old? Even with the MC being 23, I find it really hard to buy into the idea of a centuries old god getting hot for someone who just stepped out of childhood. It's just weird to me, so maybe that's why I struggled to really vibe the chemistry between the MC and Hades. She just felt too young. 

For some reason, a single scene was frequently broken into multiple short chapters. I like a short chapter but this just took it too far at times imo. If you're literally putting a chapter break in the middle of dialogue and then just continuing the scene.... like, why?? 

The entire 111 chapters centre around a group of mortals being forced into a competition of "trials" put on by the gods. It's a fairly fun storyline. I just wish I'd been inspired to care more about any of it. 

Overall, it was fine. I think a younger audience might enjoy it. Will I read the next one? Honestly, I just don't care about what happens to them, so probably not.
Gutter Glitter by Kirsten Moore

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challenging dark emotional sad

4.0

Gutter Glitter is a very real, raw and unflinching account of the life of the author, who has endured a multitude of trauma and is still here to tell the tale, which in and of itself speaks to her tenacity and strength. 

Told in a conversational and well-written style, Kirsten describes her early life anorexia nervosa, her spinal cancer battle, which then led to prescription opioid addiction and a lot of self destructive behaviour, not to mention a life long struggle with codependency. Top the whole thing off with some SA and a lot of suicidal ideation and, while it might sound like an odd thing to say about someone's real actual life, this read is not for the faint hearted.

It does, however, provide interesting insight into these experiences. I liked the way Kirsten would describe her intense inner experiences. So often, things like mental health issues are defined by what is observable from the outside or by how they affect other people. Kirsty offers us an inside look at the thought processes and motivations she experiences throughout her journey, which I think is really valuable. 

It is almost eerie the extent to which I related to some of her experiences. I also spent a good portion of my teens and 20s in various stages of anorexia nervosa, never quite being "successful" enough as an anorexic to be taken seriously despite subsisting at times on 4-600 calories a day (I literally had a GP look me up and down and say "well you're not anorexic now, are you". This was the campus GP at a medical school, btw, and I had an "underweight" BMI at the time). One of the chapter title songs, Ana's Song by Silverchair, I was absolutely obsessed with in my teens. 

I also survived a fatal car accident at 20 with a fractured pelvis, so while I've never had spinal surgery, I do know what it's like to push out a multi-laxative induced poop into a bedpan through broken bones and then wait for someone to clean you up. 

I also had my "maybe I'll find my self worth under these random dudes" phase so... yeah, all in all, while the specifics may have varied, I definitely felt a lot of kinship with the author. 

Overall an open and vulnerable read from someone who has been through a lot. And to everyone who's still here in spite of life rather than because of it, just because fuck it you're a contrary lil wench - I see you.

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The Book That Broke the World by Mark Lawrence

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adventurous mysterious tense slow-paced

4.0

I loved the The Book that Wouldn't Burn so much, I consider it one of my favourite reads ever. The unique and rich worldbuilding, the compelling characters of Livira and Evar and their evolving connection, the vast library, the portals - *chef's kiss* I just loved it. 

So I was actually nervous to pick up the second. I really had no idea where the story was going to go, and with such a love for the first one, I somehow sensed there was a danger of being less enthralled with the continuation of the story. 

This one opens with a brand new character of a brand new species, and I admit that threw me off a bit initially. In the end though, I actually ended up finding Celcha and Hellet's story the most compelling part of the whole book.

We also see a lot of Arpix in this one, who I found a bit of a boring character, and a little bit of Evar, but very little Livira, with only the briefest whiff of her and Evar's connection. I think the book really suffered for it, as Livira as a character, and her and Evar together, was really the lifeblood of the first book. 

Although I loved being back in this world and really wanted to see what happened to the characters, and although Lawrence has a wonderful turn of phrase with many fabulous quotes bookmarked, ultimately this book just felt a bit.... meandering. Despite physically looking a lot smaller than the first,  it somehow felt longer to read. Book one ends with everyone escaping through a portal... well, let's just say, by the end of this one, it doesn't really feel like we've moved the plot forward a whole lot. 

Which is weird to say, because there's plenty of action. It's not like nothing happens - lots of stuff happens. I just couldn't put my finger on why, despite the action, I didn't really feel like... much was happening??

Overall I just can't shake the feeling that I could have skipped this whole book and moved on to the third (when it arrives) and not really lost much of the core story.

The time travel definitely started to get a bit confusing at times in this one too. I do like, however, that there are some fairly clear rules on how the time travel works, which helps.

I still love this world, I love the first book. I just... if I'm honest with myself, I'm a little underwhelmed with my overall experience with this one. I want to know about Livira and Evar and the library. I'm looking forward to the third and final installment of this trilogy, and hope it will leave me with a more satisfying conclusion.
The Heartsong of Wonder Quinn by Kate Gordon

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emotional hopeful mysterious

4.0

A very sweet, gently gothic kind of tale for junior/early middle grade readers. Told tenderly with a lot of heart. 

Wonder and her new friend Mabel both have a secret each, and it was pretty clear to me as an adult reader what was going on, but I think it was well pitched for the target audience of ages 7+.

Nice short chapters, but told with language and concepts that don't underestimate the young reader. 

A lovely story for early chapter readers who enjoy a heartfelt story with a little magic.

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