horrorbutch's reviews
1267 reviews

Every Sweet Thing Is Bitter by Samantha Crewson

challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

 Disclaimer: I received an e-ARC from netgalley in exchange for a review. 

When Providence Byrd’s mother goes missing, she returns to the hometown she left, first for a 5-year sentence in prison and then 8 years trying to eke out a living as a felon. The last time she was here, she drove over her mother with her car. But that’s not the only past that haunting her here, from the sisters she abandoned to her abusive father, the adults that betrayed her throughout her childhood and the mother she hasn’t talked to in 13 years there’s a lot of memories to doge her every step. 

I really enjoyed reading about all the characters (except the father holy shit), even if not all of their actions are kind, they can be understood in the multi-faceted portrayal of every character. I loved seeing the many ways people here had chosen to survive, even if it means betraying or abandoning another person. In general, the relationships portrayed here were a really strong point. The complicated sibling relationship, the even more complicated relationship to their addict mother, helpless to save her children in any way, Providence’s understandable complicated feelings for the former police officer that never helped her out as a kid and the current chief of police, who is investigating her mother’s disappearance, but judges her for being a felon as well as her old flame Zoe, a former Jehova’s Witness now turned republican congress woman. 

My favorite relationships in here was Providence’s connection with her best friend Sara, an Oglala Lakota woman, whom she met in prison and who gives her a place to stay and Gil, a black man, who her father was horrible racist to, but who opened his door as a refuge for little Providence when she needed it (but failed her in equally horrible ways by never trying to actually protect her). 

At points reading about the father was tough. When this story deals with abusive parents it really does not pull any punches and the ptsd of the main character (and her sisters) and the way it warps their own relationships to each other and to their bodies plays a huge and heavy role. 

The mystery concerning the mother’s disappearance is compelling, but even after it is solved there is still more than enough emotional and interpersonal turmoil happening to keep you reading, desperate to find out if there can be a happy-for-now after all these horrible, horrible events. 

All in all, this is a fascinating and intriguing read that functions as both a great character study not only for Providence, but for all the characters we are introduced to (except the father, who tbh, doesn’t need more character. What he’s got is bad enough) and a layered mystery with intriguing twists and turns. I really enjoyed reading it and the end felt satisfying in just the right way. 

TW: alcoholism, car accident, domestic abuse (physical, including spousal and against children), emotional abuse, past addiction, racism (discussed), self-harm (graphic), sexual abuse (implied), substance abuse, suicidal ideation, threats of murder, violence 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Racism, Self harm, Violence, Car accident, Murder

Moderate: Addiction, Drug abuse, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts

Parable of the Sower: A Graphic Novel Adaptation by Octavia E. Butler

challenging dark medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum

emotional inspiring slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

Lucy Undying by Kiersten White

dark emotional mysterious sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

The Woods All Black by Lee Mandelo

dark mysterious tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25

Strangers to Ourselves: Unsettled Minds and the Stories That Make Us by Rachel Aviv

challenging emotional informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson

4.5

Ambrosia by Lenia Lenient

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

 Disclaimer: I received an ARC from the author. Thank you so much! 

This is an incredibly brutal story about a young woman’s rise to fame, beginning in Bulgaria and ending at the 31st Artisan Fair New York as the four members of the girl band Moxxy have finally had enough of their abusive Managers and the way the industry exploits young talents and spits them out broken and rebel against their contracts in an explosive fashion. 

Katya is an incredibly interesting character, from her childhood fascination with fame and her desperation to become famous and the creeping dread as the stress and lack of privacy and constant crossing of boundaries take their toll. The girls literally live in a glass house where fans can stand outside and take pictures or pay to listen to the recordings of their conversations. She is also queer, unable to come out or even explore her feelings because her every moment outside of her room is scripted or observed. When it all comes to a head for her and the fear of retribution loses to the sheer terror of the abuse she and her bandmates faced, you can’t help but feel terrified for them, angry on their behalf and also grieve for how much time and relationships they missed out on. 

While this story is set in America and exaggerated the way celebrities are treated to a (slightly) more dystopian level, I do think that the comparison to K-Pop bands was important to draw, especially with the incredible control of a person’s public image and the heavy control of interpersonal relationships that happens already under these circumstances (I don’t necessarily believe that the control that happens to American or European celebrities is much different, it just happens a bit more covert). 

I also really like the last chapter, it is a very satisfying end and I really, really felt a lot of emotions at that point, for the characters and the story. 

All in all, this was a really great read, that I really enjoyed a lot. I love the cover, it is pretty and fits the theme perfectly and if you enjoy stories that dive deep into a character’s psyche, feel a bit like a car crash (you know something bad is coming, but you cannot look away) and feature really interesting female characters, please do check this one out. It is really good. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Confinement, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Sexual assault, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Medical trauma, Outing, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail

Full list of TW: body dysmorphia, breach of privacy, colorism, disordered eating (including binging and purging), gaslighting, emotional abuse, exploitation of minors and adults, misogyny, nonconsensual sharing of pictures taken during sexual situations without consent, outing, panic attacks, psychological abuse, queerphobia (particularly homophobia and biphobia), racism, self-harm ideation, sexual abuse (not physical)

Passage durch den reißenden Strom: Roman by Myriam Sauer

challenging emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

 Dieses Buch folgt der Protagonistin von ihrer früheren Identität als eine schwule nichtbinäre Person zu einer bisexuellen trans Frau und lässt uns ihrem Pfad folgen als sie sich immer wieder in Erinnerungen und Ängsten verliert.
Das Buch ist sehr langsam, sehr lyrisch, sehr poetisch und die Protagonistin Rachel ist auf gar keinen Fall immer bewundernswert oder perfekt (teilweise ist sie furchbar, vorallem ihren Freund*innen gegenüber!), aber sie hat es geschafft mein Interesse das ganze Buch über bei sich zu halten, was nicht immer leicht war, da es wie gesagt, sehr langsam geschrieben ist.
Die Geschichte verliert sich (wie die Protagonistin) immer wieder in der Zeit, wandert durch Kindheitserinnungen, wird aber immer wieder von der schmerzhaften Realität eingeholt und in die Gegenwart zurückgerissen. Durch ihre ständige Dissoziation entfernt sie sich immer weiter von ihren Freund*innen, die nicht an sie herankommen, und ist aber auch extremst verletzt, wenn diese ihre Gedanken nicht erahnen können und sie retten. Ich fand, dass hierbei ein gewisser Personentypus, der sehr mit sich selbst beschäftigt ist zu Beginn der Transition, sehr gut dargestellt wurde. Auch spielt ihre Familie eine sehr große Rolle in der Geschichte, was ich spannend fand, da sie mit diesen wenig Kontakt hat.
Neben der Transition der Protagonistin und ihren Beziehungen zu anderen passiert eigentlich nicht sonderlich viel in dieser Geschichte (außer ein Thema, das es am Ende schließlich schafft durch ihre Abkapselung zu brechen, aber zu diesem Zeitpunkt ist sie einfach zu weit davon entfernt um etwas daran zu ändern, was ich unglaublich schmerzhaft fand zu lesen, aber als Punkt in der Geschichte sehr spannend fand). Trotzdem dieser wenigen Plotpunkten und der langsamen Entwicklung der Geschichte fand ich es nie langweilig, zu lyrisch und detailgenau und graphisch war die Darstellung von Emotionen und Erinnerungen und dem daraus enstehenden inneren Wirbel der Protagonistin. 
Mir persönlich hat dieses Buch sehr gut gefallen. Ich würde es niemanden empfehlen der gerne schnelle oder aktionreiche Geschichten liest, auch muss man sich auf die eigene Art der Protagonistin einlassen und ihre selbstbezogene Art und Weise aushalten können, aber wenn euch eine langsame, schöne, traurige und manchmal kopfschütteln-lassende Geschichte einer Transition interessiert und eine sehr interessante Charakter-Studie, dann kann ich dieses Buch empfehlen.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Mental illness, Sexual content, Dysphoria

Moderate: Suicide, Transphobia, Alcohol

Minor: Vomit

Der Suizid ist off-page, spielt aber ein großes Thema. Es betrifft eine Nebenperson.

Broodmother by Vesper Doom

dark emotional mysterious fast-paced

5.0

Rather short, but quite fun little bug horror story about a hunter that gets lured deep into the forest and encounters something he is not prepared to face. The writing was able to create great suspense and I enjoyed the monster design. I found the world building intruiging and think I will check out more of this setting. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Murder