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imme_van_gorp's Reviews (778)
Urgh. Why did this have to be so incredibly disappointing? It had seemed so interesting..
The first 20% of this book was utterly confusing. I honestly didn't have a clue what was even going on most of the time. I think this was done on purpose by the author to create some mystery, but that didn't stop me from finding it frustrating. I was pretty much bored already, and the story basically hadn't even started yet.
Eventually things started to make sense, and the plot and world-building picked up. I don't have many bad things to say about the rest of it, since, aside from the beginning, it was pretty decent.
However, the characterization of Mikhael and Severn was absolutely terrible. Literally awful.
Mikhael had zero personality. This dude was as bland as can be. I don't know what to say about him, since I feel like I don't know him at all (if there even is anything to know).
Severn, on the other hand, did not have zero personality, but instead he had two personalities. He has a complete personality transplant and does a total 180 about halfway through the book. It's not explained well at all, or explored in depth; the dude just randomly transforms into a whole different person. He goes from "Vengeance!! I need my revenge!! It's the only thing that matters! It's my destiny!" to "Nahh, you know what? I actually don't think I care... Mikhael, you wanna fuck?" It genuinely gave me whiplash.
And Severn's 180 brings me to my next point: the dreadful romance.
Severn goes from vowing he wants to kill Mikhael, secretly plotting his demise, to wanting to fuck his brains out, and in the end even states he's in love with the angel. Excuse me, but.. what? where? when? how?
The build-up of their love story was practically non-existent, their entire 'connection' is built on lust and sex, there is less than zero amount of chemistry, and the whole thing was just done really really really badly.
I'm sorry, but I did not connect with this whatsoever, and I don't think it was good at all. The plot and world-building was the only thing that wasn't absolutely horrible to me, and even that took a long ass time to even start making sense.
The first 20% of this book was utterly confusing. I honestly didn't have a clue what was even going on most of the time. I think this was done on purpose by the author to create some mystery, but that didn't stop me from finding it frustrating. I was pretty much bored already, and the story basically hadn't even started yet.
Eventually things started to make sense, and the plot and world-building picked up. I don't have many bad things to say about the rest of it, since, aside from the beginning, it was pretty decent.
However, the characterization of Mikhael and Severn was absolutely terrible. Literally awful.
Mikhael had zero personality. This dude was as bland as can be. I don't know what to say about him, since I feel like I don't know him at all (if there even is anything to know).
Severn, on the other hand, did not have zero personality, but instead he had two personalities. He has a complete personality transplant and does a total 180 about halfway through the book. It's not explained well at all, or explored in depth; the dude just randomly transforms into a whole different person. He goes from "Vengeance!! I need my revenge!! It's the only thing that matters! It's my destiny!" to "Nahh, you know what? I actually don't think I care... Mikhael, you wanna fuck?" It genuinely gave me whiplash.
And Severn's 180 brings me to my next point: the dreadful romance.
Severn goes from vowing he wants to kill Mikhael, secretly plotting his demise, to wanting to fuck his brains out, and in the end even states he's in love with the angel. Excuse me, but.. what? where? when? how?
The build-up of their love story was practically non-existent, their entire 'connection' is built on lust and sex, there is less than zero amount of chemistry, and the whole thing was just done really really really badly.
I'm sorry, but I did not connect with this whatsoever, and I don't think it was good at all. The plot and world-building was the only thing that wasn't absolutely horrible to me, and even that took a long ass time to even start making sense.
This book has a ton of pining and a sexual awakening for one of the main characters.
It’s pretty smutty, and there’s not much of an actual plot.
It’s pretty smutty, and there’s not much of an actual plot.
This was fucked. I hadn’t been this wound up about someone in—well, ever. And the first time it decided to happen was with a straight guy? Isn’t that just fantastic.
The two main guys have plenty of chemistry and tension between them. Unfortunately, their entire ‘connection’ was based on lust, and almost all of their interactions were sex-oriented.
The relationship definitely could have used more depth and actual love.
Viper being obsessed with Halo and him thinking Halo was like a perfect angel, was definitely my favourite part of the book.
A story about paedophilia, grooming and sexual abuse will always be shocking, no matter what book it is. But then, when you have a book as well-crafted as this one, it is not only shocking, but also absolutely gutting. Your stomach will drop and your throat inevitably dries.
“Pathetically in love with you.” As soon as he says this, I become someone somebody else is in love with, and not just some dumb boy my own age but a man who has already lived an entire life, who has done and seen so much and still thinks I’m worthy of his love. I feel forced over a threshold, thrust out of my ordinary life into a place where it’s possible for grown men to be so pathetically in love with me they fall at my feet.
You’ll feel it all with this book: frustration, anger, sympathy, helplessness, outrage, understanding, disgust, sadness. Sometimes I genuinely just wanted to scream.
He said me naked is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. It would be cruel for me to counter that with disgust. It doesn’t matter that my skin crawls from touching him. It doesn’t matter. It’s fine. He did that to you, now you can do this to him. You can handle a few minutes of this.
[TW: Rape]
I start to tear up, but he doesn’t stop, just says I’m doing great as he keeps trying to get it in. He tells me to breathe in and out, and when I exhale, he thrusts hard and pushes a little farther inside. I start crying, really crying—still, he doesn’t stop.
I do feel like this book could have been a lot shorter and certain aspects could have been done differently.
I think mostly I wish I could have felt a little more attachment to some of the events in this book. Sometimes the story could have packed more of a punch than it did, and most of the book felt more psychological instead of emotional.
Why is everyone so scared to admit how good it can feel? To be groomed is to be loved and handled like a precious, delicate thing.
Something I found particularly interesting was Vanessa’s reluctance and inability to see herself as a victim and acknowledge that what happened to her was abuse. She was so complicated, so troubled and so manipulated. Her character was flawed, but terribly intriguing.
“He never forced me, ok? He made sure I said yes to everything, especially when I was younger. He was careful. He was good. He loved me.” I say that over and over, a refrain that turns meaningless so quickly. He loved me, he loved me.
The downwards spiral of Vanessa's life and psyche was absolutely devastating. The pain, the abuse, the confusion, the manipulation: it never ended for her.
“I can’t lose the thing I’ve held onto for so long. You know?” My face twists up from the pain of pushing it out. “I just really need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that.”
“I know,” she says.
“Because if it isn’t a love story, then what is it?” I look to her glassy eyes, her face of wide open empathy. “It’s my life,” I say. “This has been my whole life.”
It’s not a perfect book, just like Vanessa isn’t a perfect protagonist, but overall it’s good. It’s interesting, thought-provoking and a true tragedy.
“If someone doesn’t want to come forward and tell the world every bad thing that’s happened to her, then she’s what? Weak? Selfish?”
The premise for this book was right up my alley. A cold, ruthless mafia boss falling for a sweet, gentle and beautiful young man? Um, YES PLEASE. I love the trope where a grumpy and powerful guy develops a soft spot for his sunshine love interest. It's just so swoon-worthy to me.
Then again, it's a trope that is sometimes pretty difficult to execute well, and this book is a perfect example of that. It definitely did not live up to its potential, and I had some complaints.
First of all, there was farrrrr too much sex in this book. Almost every single interaction between Cold and Jimmy involved sex. They hardly talked, and they never actually did anything outside of sex. Why they even fell in love with each other is a mystery. You just kind of have to accept that they somehow had a connection, even if there is no reason for them to have that. It's a lazy development of the relationship, and this could have been done so much better.
Secondly, Jimmy was too much of a doormat and Cold was a bit too stand-offish. Jimmy was incredibly naive and easy-going. He accepted everything without question, and he made due with the tiny scraps of 'affection' he got from Cold. He wanted more, but never truly confronted Cold about it; he never demanded to get the treatment he deserved. He accepted being treated as an inferior, someone who needed to keep Cold happy, and it didn't matter how he felt about it.
And don't get me wrong, it's not like Cold treats him badly. He just doesn't treat him super lovingly either. I am having trouble explaining it well, since it was clear Cold cared in his own way, but I still would have preferred for him to be more obsessed with Jimmy; be desperate to make Jimmy happy and try to be the best version of himself for the man he loves, that sort of thing.
And that brings me to my third point: I felt like this book really missed Cold's POV. It would have been very nice to actually know what Cold was thinking. We needed to know what his thoughts on Jimmy were. He's obviously a stoic and tough person, not showing his emotions, and in those cases it's very beneficial to get inside a character's head. I think his POV could have made it more obvious how important Jimmy was for him, and also why.
Nonetheless, I did enjoy this. Sometimes it was a bit boring, it definitely lacked any kind of depth, and there was nothing that really stood out here, but I still liked the general idea of the book, and I do want to read the sequel!
Then again, it's a trope that is sometimes pretty difficult to execute well, and this book is a perfect example of that. It definitely did not live up to its potential, and I had some complaints.
First of all, there was farrrrr too much sex in this book. Almost every single interaction between Cold and Jimmy involved sex. They hardly talked, and they never actually did anything outside of sex. Why they even fell in love with each other is a mystery. You just kind of have to accept that they somehow had a connection, even if there is no reason for them to have that. It's a lazy development of the relationship, and this could have been done so much better.
Secondly, Jimmy was too much of a doormat and Cold was a bit too stand-offish. Jimmy was incredibly naive and easy-going. He accepted everything without question, and he made due with the tiny scraps of 'affection' he got from Cold. He wanted more, but never truly confronted Cold about it; he never demanded to get the treatment he deserved. He accepted being treated as an inferior, someone who needed to keep Cold happy, and it didn't matter how he felt about it.
And don't get me wrong, it's not like Cold treats him badly. He just doesn't treat him super lovingly either. I am having trouble explaining it well, since it was clear Cold cared in his own way, but I still would have preferred for him to be more obsessed with Jimmy; be desperate to make Jimmy happy and try to be the best version of himself for the man he loves, that sort of thing.
And that brings me to my third point: I felt like this book really missed Cold's POV. It would have been very nice to actually know what Cold was thinking. We needed to know what his thoughts on Jimmy were. He's obviously a stoic and tough person, not showing his emotions, and in those cases it's very beneficial to get inside a character's head. I think his POV could have made it more obvious how important Jimmy was for him, and also why.
Nonetheless, I did enjoy this. Sometimes it was a bit boring, it definitely lacked any kind of depth, and there was nothing that really stood out here, but I still liked the general idea of the book, and I do want to read the sequel!
I loved the unhealthy obsession, the excessive stalking, the extreme possessiveness, and the inevitable betrayal that we got here.
These are things I will always adore, and logically, this book and me should have been a match made in heaven.
These are things I will always adore, and logically, this book and me should have been a match made in heaven.
“Were you following me again?”
“I told you I wouldn’t do that anymore.”
“Gabriel,” Joel tried to chide. “You’ll never stop, will you?”
“You asked for my love, Joel. This is my kind of love.”
However, the whole thing truly just did not work for me. It felt off, and I didn't have a connection to it. I honestly found the story tedious most of the time.
I just genuinely didn't like the writing all that much, I didn't care about the characters whatsoever, the many looooong sex scenes bored me to tears, and I actually ended up skimming quite a lot while reading this book.
The only thing I can truly say I enjoyed here was when Gabriel's many secrets about stalking Joel and being his step-uncle were finally revealed near the end. Joel obviously felt utterly betrayed and he was really really mad.
And well, I can't lie: Gabriel's devastation over losing Joel made me swoon quite a bit. And I liked that Joel stood his ground by actually leaving Gabriel (for a little while, at least).
I would have wished Gabriel fought a little harder to win Joel back, though, because he kind of just gave up, and waited until Joel came back on his own. So, that was.. not so great, again.
Nonetheless, the betrayal thing was still my favourite part of the book.
“The time I had with you, that I physically had with you, Joel. They were the best days of my life, and I didn’t say it before, but I do love you, Little Red. I love you with a ferocity I’ve never been able to understand, and that won’t ever change. I understand what I did… I know it was wrong. But I can’t allow myself to regret it. If a week beside you and two nights inside of you is all I’ll ever have, I’ll take them gladly and hold onto them for the rest of my days.”
Well, then. This was... pretty bad.
It's not well-written at all, the story is not good, and the characters are as one-dimensional and empty as they come. I can't deny that quality-wise this book was simply awful.
Nonetheless, I also can't say that I hated it. Because I didn't. In truth, I actually enjoyed it from time to time.
It's not well-written at all, the story is not good, and the characters are as one-dimensional and empty as they come. I can't deny that quality-wise this book was simply awful.
Nonetheless, I also can't say that I hated it. Because I didn't. In truth, I actually enjoyed it from time to time.
“Give me a chance to show you, Mark. Let me show you that you can trust me. I’ll do whatever the fuck I have to. I don’t know how, but I will, because you matter too much to me… and I can’t fucking lose you.”
The beginning was definitely the worst of it all, but luckily it got a little better after they got rid of their awkward as all hell 'fuck buddy' arrangement.
The moment they started to actually be all cutesy was for sure a step up from the annoying inner monologue about how they could never be in a relationship with each other, and how cool they both were for accepting that and not wanting more than just sex. Like, come the fuck on.
“No, seriously. You deserve someone special.”
“I think I’m starting to see how you lead guys on.”
“I don’t ever say that kind of shit to other guys.”
“Then why say it to me?”
“Because you’re not like other guys.”
“Whatever.”
It’s clear he doesn’t believe me, and that pisses me off.
Anyway, all in all, this wasn't a good book whatsoever (obviously), but I didn't despise reading it or anything.
Aww, I really enjoyed this!
The way Eft seemed to completely adore Kesst had my heart melting. Eft saw him as this glittering shining light and would do anything for him. He was obsessed in the cutest and sweetest way possible!
And luckily, Kesst grew to adore him right back, even if he had his prejudices about the unmannered 'ugly' orc at first.
Kesst was quite a troubled character. He had so much self-loathing, and I felt really bad for all the horrible things he had to do throughout his life, and how it affected his way of thinking about himself. He felt Ruined. Broken. Used. A coward.
But, I loved how vehemently Eft was against Kesst thinking so badly about himself. He always reminded Kesst of how perfect and beautiful he was, and he constantly used his calming and healing magic to sooth Kesst's anxiety, nerves or insecurities.
The way Eft seemed to completely adore Kesst had my heart melting. Eft saw him as this glittering shining light and would do anything for him. He was obsessed in the cutest and sweetest way possible!
And luckily, Kesst grew to adore him right back, even if he had his prejudices about the unmannered 'ugly' orc at first.
Kesst was quite a troubled character. He had so much self-loathing, and I felt really bad for all the horrible things he had to do throughout his life, and how it affected his way of thinking about himself. He felt Ruined. Broken. Used. A coward.
But, I loved how vehemently Eft was against Kesst thinking so badly about himself. He always reminded Kesst of how perfect and beautiful he was, and he constantly used his calming and healing magic to sooth Kesst's anxiety, nerves or insecurities.
“You’re the most beautiful of them all, you know. Gods, you should see yourself.”
As an added bonus to the swoony romance was quite an interesting plot. I can't say it was developed in all that much depth, but what we got was surely entertaining.
I think this book would have really benefitted from being a bit longer, since it would have added more detail, depth and perhaps more of a slow-burn. I also would have really liked to read from Eft's POV other than only Kesst's. Nonetheless, I was still happy with what we did get!
I can see the appeal, but this is definitely too much 'porn without plot' for me.
It also doesn't help for my enjoyment that Bryce is very clearly in love with his husband, and thus the encounter with Julián feels meaningless, empty and non-romantic. Once again, that is just a personal thing, though: I'm sure that if you're a fan of open relationships and such, this will not bother you in the slightest.
It also doesn't help for my enjoyment that Bryce is very clearly in love with his husband, and thus the encounter with Julián feels meaningless, empty and non-romantic. Once again, that is just a personal thing, though: I'm sure that if you're a fan of open relationships and such, this will not bother you in the slightest.
Aww, this was very sweet and super cute.
“You look like a monster from a story. Especially with the fangs and the claws and being twice my size and probably able to snap me in half. But you’re really just a teddy bear, aren’t you?”
This story is about a hiker who is rescued by a yeti after a nasty fall high up in the mountains, which would have left him stranded and frozen to death if it weren't for this yeti bringing him to his home and taking care of him.
He’d cared enough to save him from a cold night in a gorge, yes, but since they’d become friends, Muunokhoj found himself caring even more. Was Yuri hungry? Warm enough? Bored or lonely? Missing the company of other humans? Considerations for Yuri and Yuri’s happiness constantly pushed themselves to the forefront of Muunokhoj’s mind.
The dynamic between these two was quite adorable and their little misunderstandings were also rather endearing. They were both very kind and caring, and it made me happy to see them find their happily ever after together.
All he could think about was being held by Muunokhoj again. He wanted to be wrapped up in those huge arms and snuggle up against that soft fur. Yeti hugs were the absolute best hugs on earth. Who knew?
Is it weird for me to say that I want to be saved and cared for by a yeti now?
I totally believe it when Yuri says cuddling with one would be the absolute best thing that could ever happen to me.
The abominable snowman was wrapped around Yuri, purring. It was too sweet for words.
I'd definitely recommend this to anyone who's looking for a short charming read.
➛First read: July 2022 | ★4.5 stars
➛Second read: January 2025 | ★3.0 stars
EDIT after my re-read:
I wish I had loved this as much as I did the first time, but I just didn’t. I failed to see the same strength and depth in their connection as I remembered, and neither did I appreciate both characters as much. Dallas and Nolan both needed to stand up for themselves more; they were doormats, who let themselves be mistreated by everyone around them. They never stood up for themselves, which just annoyed me a little. They were such martyrs… I don’t like that.
Also, why did Dallas never learn ASL? Imagine being unable to speak for ten years and then somehow never even thinking about learning a language that would allow you to speak with your hands…? It’s very unrealistic and just plainly insane. I mean, not once in this entire book is it even mentioned that he wants to learn to sign or that it even exists. What the hell!?
Lastly, Nolan’s dramatics and tendency to run away got on my nerves too. It made me feel kind of bad for Dallas, because Nolan never really believed in him the way he should; he was ready to run off at the earliest signs of inconvenience or doubt, even though he claimed to be in it for the long haul…
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
This book was really quite beautiful. Although it could be heart-breaking at times, it also felt oddly peaceful and wholesome.
It felt so right and euphoric to see two people who have had such devastating misfortunes in life find someone who was just absolutely perfect for them. Someone who cared about them so much, and saw them for the person they truly were inside. It was an exemplary case of the hurt/comfort trope.
Seeing Nolan and Dallas quietly support each other and heal with each other was so heart-warming. Nolan truly listened to Dallas even though he couldn't speak, and it was obvious how much that meant to Dallas.
Seeing them find their homey and undisturbed happily ever after, taking care of all the hurt animals in their sanctuary, was very soothing and uplifting. They got through so much pain and betrayal, to eventually find happiness with each other and have most of their dreams come true.
This book left me with a really warm feeling.
➛Second read: January 2025 | ★3.0 stars
EDIT after my re-read:
I wish I had loved this as much as I did the first time, but I just didn’t. I failed to see the same strength and depth in their connection as I remembered, and neither did I appreciate both characters as much. Dallas and Nolan both needed to stand up for themselves more; they were doormats, who let themselves be mistreated by everyone around them. They never stood up for themselves, which just annoyed me a little. They were such martyrs… I don’t like that.
Also, why did Dallas never learn ASL? Imagine being unable to speak for ten years and then somehow never even thinking about learning a language that would allow you to speak with your hands…? It’s very unrealistic and just plainly insane. I mean, not once in this entire book is it even mentioned that he wants to learn to sign or that it even exists. What the hell!?
Lastly, Nolan’s dramatics and tendency to run away got on my nerves too. It made me feel kind of bad for Dallas, because Nolan never really believed in him the way he should; he was ready to run off at the earliest signs of inconvenience or doubt, even though he claimed to be in it for the long haul…
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
This book was really quite beautiful. Although it could be heart-breaking at times, it also felt oddly peaceful and wholesome.
It felt so right and euphoric to see two people who have had such devastating misfortunes in life find someone who was just absolutely perfect for them. Someone who cared about them so much, and saw them for the person they truly were inside. It was an exemplary case of the hurt/comfort trope.
Seeing Nolan and Dallas quietly support each other and heal with each other was so heart-warming. Nolan truly listened to Dallas even though he couldn't speak, and it was obvious how much that meant to Dallas.
Seeing them find their homey and undisturbed happily ever after, taking care of all the hurt animals in their sanctuary, was very soothing and uplifting. They got through so much pain and betrayal, to eventually find happiness with each other and have most of their dreams come true.
This book left me with a really warm feeling.