jessdekkerreads's reviews
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First Love: Essays on Friendship by Lilly Dancyger

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4.0

A homage, an ode to your first loves: your friends. 
 
The essays reminded me how formative those friendships were. How I’m so grateful I still hold those decade long friendships close. 
 
Dancyger suffered tragic loss, and laid herself bare with these vulnerable essays, showing us how friendships wrapped arms around her and held her through her grief. 
 
Favorite Essay: Mutual Mothering 
 
I read this essay in my hot tub and immediately sent voice messages to some of my friends, reading them quotes and passages. 
 
“This form of care, the idea that friends can mother each other, was a mode of loving I learned when my fellow park kids and I took care of each other as teenagers- leaning on each other in the absence of stable home lives…..maybe that’s the heart of what I’m writing about here: care. Not just to care about someone but to care for them. To take care of….To prioritize another person's safety and wellbeing and comfort; maybe this is what I mean by mothering.” 
 
Highly recommend you listen to the interview Leslie Jamison (love!) conducted with Lilly on Books are Magic’s YouTube channel. Lilly states that in each of her close relationships she feels she can be a different version of herself, that sentiment, as well as some of these essays really resonated with me. 
 
Not a lighthearted read about friendships by any means, but impactful and heartbreaking.