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lactoseintolerant's reviews
17 reviews
Man Alive: A True Story of Violence, Forgiveness and Becoming a Man by Thomas Page McBee
3.0
Upon reading Man Alive, I was puzzled by how little it did for me, being as I am its target audience.
While I can empathize and understand aspects of his journey, I felt as though the author omitted his personality in favor of minute details and ten cent vocab. I found myself consistently wanting to know more about him and the (few) other people he mentioned, while instead being given mostly impersonal details about their situations. Details like the temperature of his tea felt unnecessary and out of place in a memoir glossing over the substance of his personhood beyond his gender.
As the book came to an end, I grew increasingly frustrated by the almost happily-ever-after style of its closing. I don't know anyone who has grown a full beard and began to seamlessly pass within one month of HRT, and the complete disregard of this aspect of his Becoming felt like a disservice to both the experience and the reader.
Upon reading any memoir, I hope to see the complexities of life in all their ugly glory. I felt the author provided that in a couple of instances which I found both truly admirable and compelling- this book could not have been easy to write. If he'd stayed with that complexity, with that humanness, all the way throughout, Man Alive could have been a profound experience for me. Instead, I was left confused about all it had lacked.
While I can empathize and understand aspects of his journey, I felt as though the author omitted his personality in favor of minute details and ten cent vocab. I found myself consistently wanting to know more about him and the (few) other people he mentioned, while instead being given mostly impersonal details about their situations. Details like the temperature of his tea felt unnecessary and out of place in a memoir glossing over the substance of his personhood beyond his gender.
As the book came to an end, I grew increasingly frustrated by the almost happily-ever-after style of its closing. I don't know anyone who has grown a full beard and began to seamlessly pass within one month of HRT, and the complete disregard of this aspect of his Becoming felt like a disservice to both the experience and the reader.
Upon reading any memoir, I hope to see the complexities of life in all their ugly glory. I felt the author provided that in a couple of instances which I found both truly admirable and compelling- this book could not have been easy to write. If he'd stayed with that complexity, with that humanness, all the way throughout, Man Alive could have been a profound experience for me. Instead, I was left confused about all it had lacked.
The Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde
5.0
There is something special, in a peculiar way, in reading about the tenderness one feels towards her breast, and the mourning the loss of one begets.
When my mom got breast cancer, insurance would not cover a full mastectomy. She instead received a lumpectomy- her breasts now a battlefield, with the potential for leftover mines. Every checkup: a source of fear and anxiety. Two months after her surgery, I had mine. Something I had fought exhaustively to receive, after years of waitlists and letters from doctors and therapists insisting, "Yes! This is not a phase!"
We commiserated over our similar procedures: the anesthesia, the exhaustion, the physical therapy, the inability to raise our arms. But mine was a surgery of celebration, while hers was one wrapped in loss and pain. Mine was a new beginning, and hers was a threat to her very end.
Lorde's visceral reactions of deep emotional pain towards the loss of her breast is not something I would have had the tools to understand, had I not read this book. My mothers pain is not something I had the tools to understand. While all three of us have felt the shocking, excruciating nerve pain of our phantom breasts, our experiences were vastly different. The nights I spent naively and deludedly praying for breast cancer, so I wouldn't have to keep constantly fighting to remove mine, hung over my head like a storm cloud as I read and heard the horrific and heartbreaking reality of what breast cancer did to Lorde's psyche. And to my mothers.
Piecing our experiences together (and contemplating the ways they're apart) while reading this book was invaluable for me.
Even without these experiences, I can't imagine it would be anything less for anyone else. Lorde's journals are more honest than most people dare be with themselves. Her analysis of misogyny, racism, and ableism within medical science is equally relevant and important today. She impassionedly advocates for health education and empowerment for cancer survivors. These revelations should not be taken lightly, nor for granted. Her analysis is beyond important- a crucial read. When Lorde dreams of one breasted garments, I dream with her.
We do not need to hide the battles we've endured. These experiences shape us into who we are. And no matter how weak or strong, that person is valuable.
I will read this again.
Living Resistance: An Indigenous Vision for Seeking Wholeness Every Day by Kaitlin B. Curtice
2.0
I wish the author had hired a trans editor to take out the phrase, "women and all those who identify as female," which positions trans women as not already included in the word 'women'. It's upsetting to read transphobic neo-liberal expressions that contradict the very thesis of a book touting solidarity and activism. This kind of soul crushing blanket statement reveals how those who use it really view trans people, all while hiding behind a veil of innocent inclusivity. If you mean women, say women. If you mean women and some non binary folks and trans men, say that. You could also say women and those comfortable in women's spaces. There are a myriad of options- the list goes on. Get creative.
This is a rant. It extends way beyond this book. It's just really hard to see this kind of thing and continue reading. I did, though. The author includes some important data, while suggesting actions that do not disrupt the status quo. I have never read more about instagram in a book positing itself as a source for Resistance (accompanied by other pro-capitalist, neo-liberal underpinnings). There are valuable discussions of spirituality and the appropriation of decolonization, followed by depressing proposed "resistance" tactics of buying things and asking for more from white supremacist institutions, which only serves to further legitimize them. We can all do better than that. We can dismantle these institutions. Spending money the *right* way is still buying into a system where money is the answer. There's nothing decolonial about solving the problems of capitalism with more capitalism.
Please do better!
This is a rant. It extends way beyond this book. It's just really hard to see this kind of thing and continue reading. I did, though. The author includes some important data, while suggesting actions that do not disrupt the status quo. I have never read more about instagram in a book positing itself as a source for Resistance (accompanied by other pro-capitalist, neo-liberal underpinnings). There are valuable discussions of spirituality and the appropriation of decolonization, followed by depressing proposed "resistance" tactics of buying things and asking for more from white supremacist institutions, which only serves to further legitimize them. We can all do better than that. We can dismantle these institutions. Spending money the *right* way is still buying into a system where money is the answer. There's nothing decolonial about solving the problems of capitalism with more capitalism.
Please do better!
Abolition. Feminism. Now. by Erica Meiners, Gina Dent, Beth Richie, Angela Y. Davis
inspiring
4.5
"Do the work. Everyday. Anyway."
This manifesto acknowledges the flaws within activist organizing and owns up to our collective humanity, which both grounds abolition in reality and reminds us of its potential to realize. In reading this feminist genealogy, radical optimism feels more like realism. This book serves as a reminder of what's possible, giving context to recall the next time you're in a crowd, chanting the people, united, will never be defeated!
This manifesto acknowledges the flaws within activist organizing and owns up to our collective humanity, which both grounds abolition in reality and reminds us of its potential to realize. In reading this feminist genealogy, radical optimism feels more like realism. This book serves as a reminder of what's possible, giving context to recall the next time you're in a crowd, chanting the people, united, will never be defeated!
Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin
This book was extremely disappointing. Situating testosterone as a demonizing hormone felt like trying not to do transphobia so hard that you horse-shoe back around and end up doing transphobia again. I somehow thought another trans person would have found a way to plot that out with a little consideration for her trans brothers. Having the only trans-masc character get his period, and not including nor understanding how fucking awful of an experience that is, speaks volumes to how the author views trans men (I have never felt more like someone considered me Woman Lite).
If that's not compelling enough for you, don't skip past her description of an indigenous character's skin as "red"! That really says it all, in so far as revealing the alarming ignorance of this author, but as a cherry on top, she features a fat character whose entire thought patterns center around her weight. It probably would've been good to flesh those characters out more beyond bizarre, dehumanizing, and flattening stereotypes. But y'know. Trans solidarity I guess. To be fair, I read the whole thing, so, something kept me going.
If that's not compelling enough for you, don't skip past her description of an indigenous character's skin as "red"! That really says it all, in so far as revealing the alarming ignorance of this author, but as a cherry on top, she features a fat character whose entire thought patterns center around her weight. It probably would've been good to flesh those characters out more beyond bizarre, dehumanizing, and flattening stereotypes. But y'know. Trans solidarity I guess. To be fair, I read the whole thing, so, something kept me going.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia
Moderate: Fatphobia
Minor: Racism
Like a Bird by Fariha Róisín
Did not finish book.
Did not finish book.
After only a handful of pages, the authors class privilege had already completely alienated me. I struggled to feel empathy for the main character as she expressed angst and disdain for her loving-but-not-loving-enough family, while both reaping and not appreciating the benefits of their wealth. It read to me as a sad attempt at self-awareness within a privileged liberal bubble.
I could not make it through this to their eventual hypocrisies (I now know come up by reading other folks reviews). She somehow stays rich, though! Thank god she doesn't end up a poor like the rest of us!
I could not make it through this to their eventual hypocrisies (I now know come up by reading other folks reviews). She somehow stays rich, though! Thank god she doesn't end up a poor like the rest of us!
Content Warnings
Minor: Classism
It's Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak into Happily Never After by Andi Dorfman
A fascinating (and occasionally disturbing) case study of what it means to perform femininity for the masses circa 2014-2016.