lilmooniex's reviews
130 reviews

The Way I Am Now by Amber Smith

hopeful inspiring reflective slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? N/A
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

Eden begins the story by taking her medication and working on coping skills that she's learned. We also get to see Josh's perspective him being back in town and dealing with his father's substance abuse issues. His dad seems to be working on getting better but their relationship is clearly strained. I love the way Eden and Josh just come back together and you just feel the chemistry. 

i'm kicking my feet up again! Kevin's SISTER WAS HIS VICTIM TOO ??Steve and Josh getting all territorial for Eden. Steve is jealous of Eden and Josh and obviously sees the chemistry too. SHE WAS GOING IN FOR HER MAN," he wouldn't lose me to someone like Josh - it would BE Josh" poetry. Steve feels gross and he makes me feel like he's a fake nice guy and basically forced her into having sex with him. Josh has it bad for Edy. Edy finally breaks up with Steve after very bad almost forced sexual intercourse. Caelin is pushing Eden to go back to school, even offering to loan her his car. Edy applies to the school Josh is going to and gets in. Josh and Edy finally end up together and have an intimate and emotional first sexual experience. They admit that they love one another in the process. Josh is obsessive and has trauma of his own scared of Edy taking drugs when he found her anxiety medications. Edy's gone home for her trial and her mom has a separate trial because of the blood found on her legs. Edy meets Gen before the trial at her place of work. Edy doesn't want anyone to come to her trial date but Mara ends up coming and being the only one to support her. Edy wins and there is a final trial date but things are looking good. Josh invites Edy home with him to thanksgiving but things get rough literally the same day. Edy forgot her birth control for the last two weeks since they haven't been having sex Josh turns into an asshole feeling trapped and suddenly goes all ape shit. Telling her they need to take a break and this is just like her being inconsiderate after he had nut in her. Josh goes home alone and Edy works through her problems all over again alone. I feel at this point they both need to be by their damn selves, I've never wanted two people to just work on their own problems in my life. 

I'd be okay if they ended up alone by the end of the book. In the end they still try to work out their mess oddly enough and we don't know if Edy even won the trial. Not the best book ending after such an amazing first book.  

I felt her anxiety throughout this story. It was about healing, growing, and getting past a trauma. It honestly was not as good as the first book and I guess I expected a little more. 

The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith

challenging dark emotional hopeful tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

The book begins with the Eden being tormented by the thoughts from her sexual assault. Kevin did it her brother's best friend who had been like another brother. Her mom walked in and just thought she had a period accident. Kevin gives me the fucking ick and anger of a thousand suns telling her no one would believe her. SHE even wanted to pretend it was only a nightmare. Everyone just assume's Edy's being standoffish because Caelin went to college and is now acting weird to everyone. Kevin had turned him against Caelin telling him he thinks Edy has a weird crush on him while Edy wants everyone to just hear her finally for a second. She's sleeping on her bedroom floor instead as she's so uncomfortable in her bed now. Edy meets Mrs. Sullivan the librarian who seems to help her after she's bullied in the lunchroom. Edy at least has Mara her bestfriend and Stephen a friend who helps with their history project. Kevin may have been molested by his uncle and continuing the line of abuse. Edy has no one to tell about what's going on. This story makes my chest hurt seeing how hard it is for her to deal with this. Edy's has so much anger built inside of her it won't take much for her to finally explode. Josh is Edy's new obsession and she wants to completely reinvent herself just like Mara. Edy is avoiding Josh for Mrs. Sullivan volunteering in the library where it is nice snd safe and she doesn't have to leave her personal little bubble. Amanda Kevin's sister is acting weird as hell. Josh and Edy get closer to one another and it eventually ends with Edy sneaking out after he told her he loved her when he thought she was sleeping. Eden is scared of losing Josh even though she does not show it. Josh found out she's 15 holy crappp. Eden has gone off the deep end and has slept with more than 15 guys by her Junior year.  Mara wants her to settle down with a guy named Steve, Cameron's friend and she is just pushing herself as far away from commitment as she can. Mara and Edy get into a fight because Mara forgets her birthday and she basically gets called a whore for how much sleeping around she's doing. They end up making up as it was their first fight in about 7 years and Mara explains she's just worried about her and wants to set her up with Steve. Edy finally ends up beating Amanda's ass but she finally feels bad about the whole school turning on her. Eden ends up calling Josh when she finds out that Kevin was arrested for raping his girlfriend after she broke up with him. Amanda lists Eden as a possible person of interest when it came to Kevin finally putting two and two together. Edy tells Josh she was raped and he talks through things with her then she tells her brother who flips out but believes her wholeheartedly. The book ends with her finally going to the police station and her brother and her having a better relationship. She wants to reconcile with everyone in her life.

 

I'm not super satisfied with how the book ended after all this stress but since there's another book I'll give this 5 stars, this book brought out all the feelings and I for sure ended up crying. I almost felt the pain of the main character it feels and only good books do that. 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape

Sincerely, Carter by Whitney G.

hopeful lighthearted relaxing fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Spoiler filled description / reviews: 

It begins with young Carter and Arizona as enemies, Carter always getting in trouble because of her. Carter's now dating someone who has the maturity of a 13 year old and has a weird sex fetish of purring as a cat, her name is Emily. Carter planned on breaking up with Emily and told Arizona on the phone as they're besties in their old age - Emily overhears and begins spazzing and throwing things. Carter is only going to stay single for now and whore out, Arizona also cannot find it in herself to settle down and have sex with her 8 month boyfriend, Scott. Scott breaks up with her after she doesn't have sex with him yet again. They finally have sex after their relationship went from 0-100 and they kiss at party Arizona and Carter finally started feeling each other. Arizona got accepted at a school hours away for culinary in france and ends up with a new man to make Carter jealous as he pushed her away because he knew if he had professed his love for her she would have stayed home and not gone to her dream school. It ended with passionate sex and love professing but they worked it out.

 

The book felt like it ended so abruptly, no epilogue LOL. such a sweet love story though and I devoured it. My stomach tumbled so many times reading this i LOVED it and ate it up so quickly! I feel like Carter was for sure book boyfriend material. 

No Exit by Taylor Adams

adventurous dark hopeful mysterious sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

WOW WOW WOW! Literally I think from page one I was intrigued and I can't say many books make me feel this way. 

I watched both the book and the movie and I have to say I loved them both. 

For more detail: The book was great! Honestly had a scary vibe as I went through each page and the plot twist? THERE WAS PLOT TWIST AFTER PLOT TWIST. lol! Once I thought it went the obvious direction this author said," SIKE!" and gave me the thriller I needed. i truly did not know what to expect til the very end. 

I WILL SAY - I didn't appreciate the slur/very CRUDE sentence in the book 45% in as a "joke" but that aside the book was good. That almost was enough to bring my rating down but I'm trying to keep the integrity of the book otherwise. 

Archer's Voice by Mia Sheridan

challenging emotional sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

Spoiler filled review / summary: 

Archer seems to have a rough home life, his dad is abusive to both him and his mom as he was a drunk. Uncle Connor is frustrated that his mom Alyssa is tolerating the abuse because she thinks she deserves it. He wanted to take them both away from there, away from the abuse if she would let him. Connor is married to Tori but he says they never had an actual relationship. Bree is out moving to a brand new place. She just up and left to Maine without even telling her friend Natalie. Bree is clearly running from something. Her mom had died from breast cancer. She met this mysterious man in a parking lot and all of her things including tampons ended up in the middle of the street. He's weird for not saying anything after helping her pick everything up. Bree has gone through some trauma being held at gun point and seeing her dad bleed out. The one gossiping woman at the diner (Melanie and Liza) said the man that helped her must have been Archer because of his strange behavior and that he's speculated to he deaf. DOUBT. Archer was in an accident when he was younger and his parents were killed on the highway. It's cute she's trying to learn sign language because she thinks she offended him and her dad had also been deaf. Connor's uncle is chief of police and town owner. Archer went to live with his other uncle Nathan before he died of cancer. Her dad died because he couldn't hear the gunman telling him to put his hands down and he was signing for Bree to hide because he was deaf before he was shot. Bree runs over to Archer's house because her dog Phoebe had run into his home and they ended up "speaking." He explained to her on paper that he was NOT deaf and that he just didn't talk. She asked if they could hang out sometime and he declined heavily, multiple times. It hurt to see Archer's perspective in a flashback of him hoping and pleading that his mom is safe and she is not on the road after the car accident. Travis is weird as hell and he's too touchy knowing they are not that close in the slightest. I'm not sure who tf I'm supposed to root for since no one can get him to settle down but Travis makes me uncomfortable with his flirting advances. Archer and Bree ran into eachother at the store and Bree did not have enough money, she was missing about 2 dollars while at the store and he paid for her whole 62 dollar order. She could have gave him the 60 but didn't give him shit and just told him she would pay him back. Travis in Archer's flashback is a douche. He seems like a sex offender. Uncle Nate made him into who he is I think, he told him that no one deserves to know who he is basically because everyone's shit and not to let anyone hurt him. I'm over here kicking my feet and all, Bree is the only one that makes Archer smile or even grin it seems. Bree agreed to go on a date with Travis even though she's catching feelings for Archer and their friendship is blossoming. They have a good time and touchy mcgee is touching again by the end of the date before she tells him to take it slow, I think she has past trauma with SA. Bree is teaching Archer how to cook (I'm sure he knows how, he does everything else himself) in return for teaching her to skip rocks. She opens up to him about her almost being raped by the gunman that had shot her father. Her dad died instantly because the bullet hit him in the heart. Bree is terrified of thunder and storms ever since that night as it was storming when all the trauma happened. The person who shot her dad was never found. Archer was shot at 7 by his uncle Connor and he has a scar on his throat from it. Travis keeps inviting himself to Bree's house while she is clearly infatuated with Archer. Archer keeps her nightmares at bay. Victoria Hale (Travis' mother) meets Bree and she acts like everyone should know who she is and is very uppidy. She states that Archer is abusive and that he has violence issues. Limited time for his voice box to be repaired at the time of Archer's accident but Victoria influenced his uncle and he waited too long ensuring that he couldn't speak or tell any of her secrets. Travis is pissed Bree declined going out and that she likes Archer more. Archer and Bree get closer and she begins to fall for her. Him gulping instead of moaning when they do anything sexual kills me but it is very sad the reasoning. Travis invited Archer out to hang bc of Bree but Archer doesn't have a good feeling about it. Travis takes him to a strip club and they drink with some of his friends. Travis convinces him (since he kissed Bree) that he cannot simply satisfy her and that's why she looks for something on the side half the time. Archer is too easily manipulated, I'd be so pissed that's why Bree needed to communicate and tell him about the kiss before it escalated. He TOO QUICKLY ended up with another girl wtf and at a strip club. Archer ended up sleeping with Amber because he was manipulated by Travis. That's what Bree gets for pushing him to go out with his own cousin. They eventually make up. Amanda was Archer's mom's friend and she was scared of going into his home because of all the bomb and booby trap warnings his uncle had left around the place but still offered to see him at a later time because his mom was so special to him. Travis is a master manipulator, honestly. The next day it thunders and Archer walks a mile in the rain to reach her because of her fear of it. Archer didn't sleep with the stripper he was embarrassed with how his own body had reacted and that they had kissed. Later, They slept together finally and Archer eventually wants to learn to drive during the driving lesson Bree pleasures herself and causes a primal Archer to take what's his (HOT HOT HOT) while outside in the Truck. Travis catches them and says Archer doesn't have his permit so they need to cut the shit. Travis later talks to Archer trying to be "nice" to him and he basically fucks with Archer's head one more time and tells him that basically even though he won Bree for now - she has to go home at sometime so he is not her forever. Meanwhile Bree already decided to stay for Archer. Travis about to mess everything up, manipulating man. Bree is going home with her friend Natalie and Jordan because they may have found the killer and she needs to pick him out of a line up. Bree stopped responding while coming back from her home town after successfully identifying the guy who had shot her father. Got me a little shook up my damn self. Archer's back story gets sadder, his mom was about to put on her seatbelt before Connor, her, and Archer were hit almost off the road. His mom Alyssa flew through the window shield while Archer's father Marcus was the culprit. He was carrying a gun, drunk and angry waving it toward Connor. Connor is Archer's dad so Travis would be his brother. Marcus was the one that shot Archer because the little boy was rushing after the man who had gotten his mom killed. Bree got involved too much and blurted out that Travis was Archer's brother and had everyone in town watching. The one time he trusted someone she told his secret to everyone. After the incident Archer fled town trying to work on becoming a better man and hoping she didn't hate him in the process, he's shit cause he's been gone for three months, such a sorry excuse for a guy. Without so much as a "I'm okay" or anything. Later they make up after a yelling match (one yelling , the other signing for the obvious.) and make love. They head out to the diner Bree works at and the man that she pointed out of a line up since he was out on bail he followed her back to her job. He ends up threatening her with a gun waving it around the place and eventually shot Archer because he jumped in front of Bree. He ended up surviving and taking over the town as he was Connor's oldest child and he was meant to take over. Travis became chief of police. They had twins and named them after both of their parents Connor and Charlie and Bree was pregnant once again. I thought he'd get his actual voice sometime during this book but everything was completely metaphorical. It all just made sense and was a beautiful book.  Sad we never found out the gender of that last baby but all the other kids sign. That was very sweet to me, even at 3 years old.

 

• Loved the book, It was such a sweet love story around Bree and Archer. I wasn't sure what direction this book would go in but I'm pleasantly surprised. I'd definitely read another book by this creator. It was a easy read and got me out of my book slump. 

Stolen Tongues by Felix Blackwell
Did not finish book. Stopped at 53%.

Just couldn't get into it. 

Princess and the Player by Ilsa Madden-Mills

lighthearted fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

1.0

Spoiled filled review/summary: 

Tuck is a 30 year old football player, apparently his father died on his birthday which no one knows. His friends try to bring him to a party and everyone has to dress up - Tuck is the player at a sex club where everyone is dressed as something. They have a one night stand. Later Princess (Francesca ) pregnant and Tuck dealing with aging and football troubles. Francesca doesn't tell Tuck for months after finding out because he kept saying he didn't want children due to his messed up upbringing. Tuck ended up finding very personal information out about Francesca because she knew where he lived (she lived in the same building) since he's famous he had a private investigator look into her and found out she was abandoned as baby. She finally admitted to him she was pregnant with his baby and Tuck doubted the paternity because he has trust issues and it had not his first paternity scare. He made his lawyer bring Francesca an NDA for the whole situation because of it. They eventually end up making up and Tuck gets a head injury because of a painting someone made of Francesca. They have a little boy named Franco and a little girl years later named Darryn.

• Book was super rushed, felt ZERO connection from the two. it was just a book I wish I would have DNF but I got too far and decided to just finish it. 

Penpal by Dathan Auerbach

adventurous challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.0

Spoiler filled description/summary: 

The steady thrum of listening to your own heartbeat reminded the main character of footsteps as he fell asleep as a 6 year old. Due to the feeling of someone running after him when he closed his eyes, he always imagined different scenarios, a wolf chasing him, a random pursuer, it didn't matter it always resulted and meant that everyone else was dead in the world. It caused a fear of being out after dark. Due to him having an older elevated home he worried about monsters being under his home in hidden crawl spaces, a normal 1st grade thing to do, of course. The main character (still don't know their name at this point) also had a bunk bed in their room and often times woke up on the opposite bed (top bunk vs bottom bunk or vise versa) without any recollection of why or how he managed to swap beds. He brushes it off to waking up at night to get water and lying down in the wrong bed in a sleepy haze, one time instead of the bunk he was in the woods instead. After realizing it just might not be a dream afterall, he's met with the confusion of the woods not belonging to the one beside his own home and he is COMPLETELY lost. Thorns blocked his blocked path, no particular route made for him as he blindly makes his way home at 6 years old. He learned there had to be a way out of the woods from his grandPop months before after learning about riddles. He heard a wailing in the woods from a baby after stepping on a loud twig that quieted the other insects, later unsure of whether it was a cat or not in heat in his old age. He ran and ended right back to the beginning where he had woken up, very very lost. He bruised his feet walking in thorns, bark, and whatever else was on the ground from the woods, now walking with a limp as he made his way out from following a star. He found his way home shortly after. All the lights were on in the house proving mom was worried, right as he was going to turn the doorknob he was lifted away by arms covered in fur, his fear for monsters may not have been inaccurate after all. Things are beginning to get weirder, it wasn't a monster it was his mom grabbing him and a police officer at the door. She grabbed him because she found a note in his room of him running away, and he has no recollection of any of it. He is firm in his mind he did NOT write the letter, his name was even misspelled. They had a balloon project where they would write a note on the balloon and let it fly into the wind, whoever found the balloon would be their penpal. After taking his time and writing out his penpal letter one day his teach had given him a package in return from his penpal, inside the package was a polaroid that looked as if it was from the desert and it could not be made out by his eye while on the outside of the envelope was a picture of a boy holding a balloon, much like the photo he drew himself. No letter response, which disappointed the boy greatly. Weeks later he got another letter, a polaroid this time of a building, the light gleaming off the camera and the building together. After the incident they ended up getting a snow cone machine and began selling it to strangers with his friend Josh. (an incident caused him to cut his finger in the snow cone blade as he pulled it out but business still resumed.) His mom took his snow cone machine away weeks later because of him getting hurt which he and I both find odd, very delayed reaction.  At some point, the young boy finally put all the polaroids all together from his penpal to where he could distinguish what they were, he realized he was in every single photo whether it was a small part of him or his complete face in the background - he was there. Later he explained to his mom what happened with the balloon project and how is dollar came back to him that said "for stamps" that basically meant the person who was taking pictures of him had gone to get snow cones at his stand. The last photo he received in the mail (which his mom opened first) alarmed her so much as it showed him and Josh up close at the snow stand. His mom realized there was no postage and called back the police. They had gotten a cat named Boxes the same day the boy had climbed the tree outside and broken his arm to where his bone poked out of his skin. They left quickly without even being able to alert Josh (he was meant to come over for the day) all after his mom had to go under the crawl space after their cat had run under their house. It scared her so bad they were moving immediately after she had gone under there. After the move his mom gave him a walkie talkie and Josh was on the other line, that way they can turn it on and communicate throughout the day without a cellphone. They used the walkie talkies everywhere, across the city at their homes, at each other's homes, and in the woods. His cat Boxes ran away. The boy was getting noticeably upset as the weeks went by and Boxes still hadn't made his way home, him and Josh decided to sneak out in the middle of the night and go to their old home before they moved - in case boxes made his way back to the wrong home. They went through the thick woods to head to the boy's old house. The story got weirder as Josh asked the same question years before that he was asked," how far into the woods can you go?" it caused a weirdness to go through both him and me.   Josh then found the place that the boy woke up in by a pool, the one from the beginning of the story. The boy then fell into the hole, a hole he NEVER remembered from that area. Josh was trapped in the pool area covered in spiders that was all over the pool float, he didn't realize at first and scrambled, needing help out of the pool. They played rock paper scissors and the main boy is the clear loser, needing to go under the house to see if Boxes is there. Josh went into the house instead causing them to split up and Josh to put up the board under the house so if Boxes is under the house he won't run around the streets away from either of them. It also causes the boy to be locked in. The boy noticed cat food was in bowls under the house, indicating someone had been luring Boxes under the house. They used the walkie talkies to communicate from the house to under the home, Josh told him inside his old clothes were no longer in the box and were hanging up. He also said the room was filled with polaroids of himself saying the boy had quite the ego that was right before the walkie talkie went quiet. Josh realized someone was in the house with him and struggled to get away, his strap to his walkie talkie got stuck on the house as they ran back into the woods. It's beginning to get crazy tense at this point. After speaking with his mom he found out they left early because the man had been LIVING under their house - the hell! Along with the dead creatures he had lured under there. The sound of boxes voice came from the walkie talkie under the boy's bed, the walkie talkie Josh had left at his old home. Mrs. Maggie was a neighbor that lived pretty close by to the boy - I'm wondering if she was the little stalker or if it's her kid. She is 80 and has dementia (guessing w/ context clues of her forgetting or just being old) so it is definitely not her. Josh and the boy always declined her invitation when she asked them to come over or even offered them food. So one day she bought them both a pool floaty that they took turns blowing up - a shark pool floaty, the one from the abandoned pool that the boy kept waking up near. Mrs. Maggie's husband Tom died on the front lawn while exercising to get in good enough shape to take her on her dream vacation to Rome due to her mental health declining - he wanted her to be able to remember and go while coherent, his heart wasn't that good and he died in the process. Tom and Maggie had two kids Chris and John and I think one of them for sure had something to do with the balloon. The boy and Josh went back out into the woods to finish their map that they made, as they heard footsteps in the woods a voice responded back to their "hello" with one of their own. They raced through the woods to find it was only a deer and at some point ended up encountering Mrs. Maggie. The boy tried to go into her house to get a towel from hopping in the lake near the woods but she denied him for the first time, knowing she had been constantly trying to get the two boys into her home. The boy knew while he was in the river the map he and Josh had made of the woods had washed away, but in the house when he checked his pockets of the pants he had put to the side while they were in the water he noticed the map was there - picture of two stick figures,  a smaller one and a bigger one - it had the young boy's intial's right next to the smaller one. I guess Mrs. Maggie wasn't the suspicious one because she ended up dying and the boy didn't realize til years later why a hazard team was taking out black bags from her home and they haven't seen her since. The boy then made a new friend when he couldn't see Josh named Alex and they became the new friend group with a guy named Chris. Josh and the MC saw eachother less frequently after that night they snuck out together but he still thought Josh's sister Veronica was beautiful. Chris got jealous of Josh while talking to the MC, wondering how he knew Veronica. After the mom found out that MC was trying to go to the movies with Veronica, her smile dropped and she declined letting him go. Josh's main phone number had changed but the MC's mom said that Josh's dad called previously to update the phone books and to see if their number is the same, wondering if the mom is sus of it their friendship really just fizzled. MC asked to get dropped off at Chris's home instead and would walk the rest of the way to 

car following to theater they met up and hit it off completely. The age difference was kind've crazy MC 15 and Veronica 17 or 18 as a senior. After the movie theater MC went to take a pee behind the theater as it was a midnight screening Veronica was hit by a car. He visited her in the hospital and she told him about them thinking Josh had run away, after he left her she texted him that she didn't want him to show back up at the hospital and seeing her that way, needing a little space while she heals. They began to text more while healing and then she texted him to meet her at the hospital 

meet veronica at the movie theater redo date. Veronica did not show up, she had been too badly bruised the last time they saw each other. A man who breathed heavily sat in the seat Veronica was meant to sit in instead, which he found super weird. MC's mom told him when he got home that Veronica had died THE DAY he visited and no way had it been her that texted him. She even said that the phone had been lost so they had no clue where it was. There were pictures sent to the MC's phone he couldn't receive because he had an old phone, so he'll never know what was sent completely. He got one last message from "Veronica" saying,"see you again soon." Josh and the MC met in kindergarten and he signed his cast after he had broken it falling from the tree. After the night they tried to find Boxes it seemed like their friendship progressively fizzled and no one tried to fix it. Something's off with this book, they keep mentioning that the MC and Josh look alike, wondering if something happened and they switched places. Josh decided to come to MC's 12th birthday after originally declining the offer. At the party Josh said "you left" after MC asked what happened to them and why it's suddenly so awkward when he's around. Josh had said he had trouble sleeping because of sleep walking and that was the last time he had seen Josh. Josh and the man that were taking polaroids were found in a hole, the hole from the beginning of the woods exploration that the MC fell in. It ended with them figuring out that Josh had been abducted years before although everyone thought he had run away at the time. He got abducted while in the woods they usually explored because Josh wanted to give the MC an actual birthday gift. The guy that abducted him thought of course he looked a lot like the MC, he had a picture of the MC in his pocket. He had kept Josh for years since that day and it seemed like he tried to escape one day as the kidnapper seemed as though he may have been attempting to finally kill Josh and Josh had bit him in the neck, but the guy had fallen on top of him as he struggled since it was a small hole he fell on top of Josh and suffocated him. Josh was probably in the car the day Veronica had gotten hit before he almost disposed of. Josh's dad basically buried his own son, he was given $100 by a man to fill a hole late at night, he was already going to do it so he took the money and basically did a half assed job not completely looking into the hole at what was going on as it had been too dark after 8pm in the woods. He couldn't completely see and everything was VERY fresh body wise. The story ended with him getting all the answers about his childhood except he didn't know WHY he had gotten kidnapped the one night and ended up in the woods but the guy didn't take him. He only took Josh instead so I'll never have complete answers. I know people fizzle apart but I'm surprised he didn't ask more questions about Josh sooner. All and all MC was a shitty friend, barely saved him in the woods once and didn't look for his friend for like two years.  

• This book honestly gave me a thrill. It was a nice short read, I swear I loved the spicy Penpal book and saw this book by accident (added it to my list) and I am NOT disappointed. It had the right level of thrill, a short read, and had me wanting to BINGE to get to the end. I honestly recommend to anyone that wants a thriller that actually makes you feel cautious at times because it can ACTUALLY happen! This book honestly made me cry at a 53% due to that mini backstory not sure if it's my period or this book but first book that made me cry in a while LOL. The back and forth between flashbacks and current really drive me crazy but I love the author's comparison to childhood and life going in "segments" to your memory. 4 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Things I Wanted To Say (but never did) by Monica Murphy

challenging dark hopeful sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Spoiler filled review / summary: 

Summer's step brother Yates pursues her heavily. Her first encounter with a man was at a rich guy's party due to who her mom works with - she also found out her mom was cheating on her step dad at the same party after Whit Lancaster told her. Whit let her know because it was his father that she was cheating with. Later on Summer ends up going to the same prestige school as Whit and he ends up making her an outcast because she ignores him and he "always gets what he wants." Whit basically becomes her bully without lifting a finger, getting everyone to bully her harder, physically pushing her until she agrees to his terms (a few blowies for her to finally get some friends, yay!) Elliot is Whit's friend and takes things to the next level trying to assault Summer because she won't have sex with him and she ended up kneeing him in the balls in front of everyone. Due to her humiliating him he came to retaliate when she was alone in the rain, about to assault her with his friend before Whit came to save her. Whit ended up getting his ribs bruised from the fight and Summer took care of him in her dorm where they hooked up for the first time while he continues to call her a whore for the umpteenth time. After the oral chronicles, Whit steals Summer's journal that he found in her drawer that she writes all the important events of her life so she doesn't forget them. He's using it as blackmail if it comes down to it. Sylvie (Whit's sister) is the only friend Summer has because she isn't afraid of his bullshit. Sylvie is dying, she said she is in poor health. Jonas Weatherstone, Summer's step dad died in a house fire which definitely had something to do with Summer. Whit is blackmailing Summer for sexual favors because her mom destroyed his family and is taking everything out on her instead. Whit is actually obsessed with her and ever since his first encounter with her he's been smitten just like she has. Too bad he's expressing his feelings in a shitty way but it seems consensual at least. He begins to actually read her journal and I think finally begins to get a better grasp of who Summer is. After Whit's visit with his own father he basically tells him he could give up on his family and marry a commoner or carry on their family name by marrying someone wealthy enough to keep his name going. Whit's obsession with Summer only grows after his visit realizing all the preppy rich girls don't compare. They bang around more until the day of the halloween party, they broke up a little before because Whit was destined to get married off to someone and instead dressed up super sluttily and hit on everyone at the party. She was not against people even slapping her ass. She was going to leave with one of the men from the party before Bryan tried to rape her, Whit ending up stopping the whole interaction. After all was said and done they still have trouble getting back together as Whit has a temporary girlfriend Caitlyn who is just obsessed with him but he won't sleep with her because he knew her obsession would only grow. Summer is planning on spending Thanksgiving with Sylvie and Whit goes terribly wrong - Sylvie's turns out to be a bitch easily manipulated by their mother. Since Summer was spending all of her time with Whit she felt betrayed and thought she only became friends with her for Whit and began calling her a whore and saying she is much like her mom. Summer finally grows some balls and tells her she's a spoiled rich lady like her mother. Sylvia (whit's mom, not sister) found Summer's journal and found out that Summer killed Yates and her step father with a candle she tipped over after he raped her one night. Summer's mom later told her when she visited after storming away from that terrible holiday that she actually beat Yates over the head with something causing him to bleed out after he threatened to tell his dad that she molested him after her mom confronted him about him sleeping with his step sister (Summer.) She then tipped the candles over the window curtain causing the house to go up in flames because Summer would never cause a fire the way she did. After a year in Paris Summer has time to evaluate her life Whit ends up showing up due to Monty the gay new friend she kept in touch with from school. Monty gets Summer all dressed in a beautiful skimpy outfit to impress a rich Paris suitor, turns out it was Whit reclaiming what's his. Whit returns the journal finally before he tells her everything going on in his life and how the arranged marriage is off and his mom has no say in his love affairs anymore. Letticia the bride to be turned out to be bisexual and was doing coke to numb the pain of being forced into marriage for family fortune and hierarchy. She now has a girlfriend. They pick up where they left off. Honestly they belong together he still wanted her back even after thinking she took a bribe / money from his mom to stay away. Sylvie and Summer never officially end up making up in this book. My first Bully story and damn was it crazy the lusty love is worth it, I think I can deal with bully as long as it's consensual. After a 5 year time skip and Summer is finally pregnant with child number two and they have an almost three year old. They're finally preparing for their wedding day after 5 yrs of being together officially and two kiddos. It ends with a cute tender moment between them being lovey, preparing, and that last intimate scene. The smut was GREAT but that last scene was kind've boring.

Does this count as my first bully story? I like enemies to lovers but danggg he straight up calls her a *redacted to avoid spoilers* more often than her name but "likes her?" A fun journey that I ate up very quickly. It had me kicking my feet like I just got a new crush and all. I'm not a fan of bully stories but seeing his perspective gave me a LITTLE ease to enjoy it immensely. I enjoyed the smut hella and I finished this book so quickly for it being a bit longer. This author for sure got me out of my readers slump. 

Wonderlight by Tina Spencer
Did not finish book. Stopped at 23%.

Didn't care for the writing.