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pinkblingd's reviews
21 reviews
Pageboy by Elliot Page
emotional
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
I picked up this audiobook to hear Elliot's story behind the scenes of the famous movies/shows and his journey as a transperson. I wasn't expecting the intimate journey shared in this book — from a childhood spent assuming herself to the be the problem, the horrors of being a child/young adult in Hollywood, being a closetted queer person living in the public eye, and the long journey of knowing for sure he is trans. (Using the pronouns as Elliot did through the timeline). Elliot has detailed his emotions and mental journey so articulately, and because I listened to the audiobook version narrated by himself, I feel like I got a personal story of who he is and what made him.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
A passage that I played thrice because it's so beautiful (and I hope I won't get into trouble for sharing such large text):
"If a part of you is always separate, if existing in your body feels unbearable, love is an irresistible escape. You transcend a sensation so indescribable that philosophers, scientists, and writers can't seem to agree on what the fuck it even is. If it even is. I often wondered if I have even experienced deep love. I feel as though I have. But is it real if you were never there? When you have numbed yourself to the truth. Love was unwittingly an emotional disguise and my relationship to it another muscle to be transformed. I don't wanna disappear. I want to exist in my body with these new possibilities. Possibilities. Perhaps that is one of the main components of life lost to lack of representation. Options erased from the imagination. Narratives indoctrinated that we spend an eternity attempting to break. The unraveling is painful but it leads you to you."
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
A passage that I played thrice because it's so beautiful (and I hope I won't get into trouble for sharing such large text):
"If a part of you is always separate, if existing in your body feels unbearable, love is an irresistible escape. You transcend a sensation so indescribable that philosophers, scientists, and writers can't seem to agree on what the fuck it even is. If it even is. I often wondered if I have even experienced deep love. I feel as though I have. But is it real if you were never there? When you have numbed yourself to the truth. Love was unwittingly an emotional disguise and my relationship to it another muscle to be transformed. I don't wanna disappear. I want to exist in my body with these new possibilities. Possibilities. Perhaps that is one of the main components of life lost to lack of representation. Options erased from the imagination. Narratives indoctrinated that we spend an eternity attempting to break. The unraveling is painful but it leads you to you."
Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
emotional
sad
fast-paced
5.0
I never thought I'd reach for a book on grief. But here I am. Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Adichie is essays on the author's painful days of coming into terms about her father's death in 2020. It's beautiful.
(I hesitate to say more because words around grief are always tricky when the grief is not yours.)
(I hesitate to say more because words around grief are always tricky when the grief is not yours.)
Blue Horses by Mary Oliver
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
mysterious
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
5.0
Mary Oliver is a new favourite poet 💙
Through her poems I'm able to take a minute to focus on the things that matter, acknowledge resilience and strength that gets us through difficult times, and take comfort in words and beautiful questions, without worrying about the answers.
Through her poems I'm able to take a minute to focus on the things that matter, acknowledge resilience and strength that gets us through difficult times, and take comfort in words and beautiful questions, without worrying about the answers.
A Thousand Mornings by Mary Oliver
hopeful
lighthearted
mysterious
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
5.0
Mary Oliver is a new favourite poet 💙
Through her poems I'm able to take a minute to focus on the things that matter, acknowledge resilience and strength that gets us through difficult times, and take comfort in words and beautiful questions, without worrying about the answers.
Through her poems I'm able to take a minute to focus on the things that matter, acknowledge resilience and strength that gets us through difficult times, and take comfort in words and beautiful questions, without worrying about the answers.
Zikora by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Short story. And available for free with Prime Reading.
"Did it never end?" — this is a line the protagonist asks herself after she's given birth to her child and is now about to be sewed up. And it's this very journey, of dealing one thing after the other on her own that seems to help her reconstruct the reality of her parents' marriage and her relationship with her disciplinarian mother.
This is my second read by Chimamanda Adichie. And I absolutely loved it.
"Did it never end?" — this is a line the protagonist asks herself after she's given birth to her child and is now about to be sewed up. And it's this very journey, of dealing one thing after the other on her own that seems to help her reconstruct the reality of her parents' marriage and her relationship with her disciplinarian mother.
This is my second read by Chimamanda Adichie. And I absolutely loved it.
Recollections of My Nonexistence: A Memoir by Rebecca Solnit
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Rebecca Solnit is a feminist author and social activist born in the early 60s. In Recollections of My Non-existence she takes us through the memory lane of researching visual arts, enriching life with the stories of the people she met, exploring the punk scene, her experience with and take on Beat poets, and also the then famous directors. And of course, a lot of the thoughts, perspectives, ideas are about women taking up space, voicing their opinions, dealing with the violence of simply existing in a female body. It's a book that makes me appreciate words, art, and life more freely.
Every Exquisite Thing by Matthew Quick
reflective
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
"Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic."
Life is hard, beautiful, sad, happy, frustrating, and every phase is filled with brilliant contradictions. But life is even more bewildering for teenagers, especially those who strive for authenticity and wonder why they don't fit in with their peers, parents, or any adults. All anyone can do is blindly choose a path, stumble often, and keep seeking new experiences that are true to our authentic selves.
Life is hard, beautiful, sad, happy, frustrating, and every phase is filled with brilliant contradictions. But life is even more bewildering for teenagers, especially those who strive for authenticity and wonder why they don't fit in with their peers, parents, or any adults. All anyone can do is blindly choose a path, stumble often, and keep seeking new experiences that are true to our authentic selves.
The Universe of Us, Volume 4 by Lang Leav
emotional
mysterious
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
5.0
Have you loved and lost? Do you miss who you were more than the love you lost? Is yours a heart that loves, thinks, and feels more than it lets on? If the answers to all of these questions is a resounding yes, then you will love these poems. If the answers are mostly no, this might not be for you.
I will seek solace in this book and hang on to it until they have let go of me.
I will seek solace in this book and hang on to it until they have let go of me.
Oona Out of Order by Margarita Montimore
adventurous
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
mysterious
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
"When you're experiencing time in order, there's probably so much you take for granted. But when you go from year to year randomly, I bet you see things differently. Notice more. Appreciate more."
As Oona waits for the clock to strike 12 and welcome her nineteen birthday, she ends up... well, way into the future. Turns out, the rest of her years are going to be out of order!
I'd pick up any good book on time travel and this one was a real comfort read 💙💙💙💙💙
"And she no longer wanted to shield herself from tragedy. Which meant, yes, a flood of horrendous feelings awaited her: sorrow, guilt, regret. But it also meant... being hopeful about the years to come."
As Oona waits for the clock to strike 12 and welcome her nineteen birthday, she ends up... well, way into the future. Turns out, the rest of her years are going to be out of order!
I'd pick up any good book on time travel and this one was a real comfort read 💙💙💙💙💙
"And she no longer wanted to shield herself from tragedy. Which meant, yes, a flood of horrendous feelings awaited her: sorrow, guilt, regret. But it also meant... being hopeful about the years to come."
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
I read and reread this book for one and a half years.
Franz Xaver Kappus was a 19-year-old military officer with a penchant for poetry. He wrote to the famous poet Rilke about the difficulties of his profession, religion, love, and the disconnect his creativity felt from his profession.
The book does not include Kappus' letters; it is left to our imagination. We get 10 letters from Rilke to young Kappus, advising him on the validity of art, being authentic, living through difficult feelings, and, primarily, seeking refuge in solitude.
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
If you're someone who strives for the authenticity of self, believes in looking inward rather than keeping up with the world, and embraces aloneness and loneliness, this book is for you.
"...your solitude will expand and become a twilight space, where the noise of other people passes far in the distance."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
On being asked to critique the poems of Kappus, Rilke clarifies what really matters. Followed by a brutally honest take on the poet's young age and lack of experience in life and love. I don't agree with all of his perspectives on young love but I took it as a contradictory but beautifully relayed perspective.
"A work of art is good if it has come to be from necessity. Its judgment lies in the manner of its origin, and in nothing else."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Anyone, no matter their age, feeling lost or asking the same questions to themself over and over will find some peace in Rilke's words.
"...have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to have love for the questions themselves, like locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
And if you think your job keeps you detached from your creative side:
"Whatever you, dear Mr. Kappus, must now undergo as an officer, you would have felt it just the same in any of the established professions, yes, even if you had merely sought some slight and independent contact with society, apart from any position, you would not have been spared this feeling of constraint."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Now the part where I agree with Rilke, and relate to his way of living, and yet hesitate to agree. Because aloneness is important to know self, and difficulties help us find answers. But difficulty itself is not the reason to do something. Actually, as I try to argue Rilke on this, I'm failing miserably.
"...it is good to be lonely, because loneliness is difficult; the difficulty of a thing must be one more reason for us to do it. To love is also good: because love is difficult."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
My favourite passage (from Letter 8):
"You have had many and great sorrows that have passed. And you say that even this passing was difficult and disturbing for you. But please consider: have not these great sorrows rather passed right through you? Has much not changed for you, and have you not been anywhere, at any point for your being, transformed while you were sad?"
" If only it were possible for us to see farther than our knowledge reaches, and even a little past the far reaches of our foresight, perhaps we would endure our sorrows with greater trust than our joys."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
"We must accept our reality as widely as is possible; everything, even the unprecedented, must be possible in it. At bottom, that is the only courage demanded of us;..."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
"Perhaps everything terrifying is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants help from us."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
I'm not sure I understand Rilke's take on gender, women. Sometimes when I read his lines, I think he gets it and see him as a forward-thinking liberal. Other times, I'm sceptical. Two reads are probably not enough to comprehend so I will read again.
Franz Xaver Kappus was a 19-year-old military officer with a penchant for poetry. He wrote to the famous poet Rilke about the difficulties of his profession, religion, love, and the disconnect his creativity felt from his profession.
The book does not include Kappus' letters; it is left to our imagination. We get 10 letters from Rilke to young Kappus, advising him on the validity of art, being authentic, living through difficult feelings, and, primarily, seeking refuge in solitude.
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
If you're someone who strives for the authenticity of self, believes in looking inward rather than keeping up with the world, and embraces aloneness and loneliness, this book is for you.
"...your solitude will expand and become a twilight space, where the noise of other people passes far in the distance."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
On being asked to critique the poems of Kappus, Rilke clarifies what really matters. Followed by a brutally honest take on the poet's young age and lack of experience in life and love. I don't agree with all of his perspectives on young love but I took it as a contradictory but beautifully relayed perspective.
"A work of art is good if it has come to be from necessity. Its judgment lies in the manner of its origin, and in nothing else."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Anyone, no matter their age, feeling lost or asking the same questions to themself over and over will find some peace in Rilke's words.
"...have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to have love for the questions themselves, like locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
And if you think your job keeps you detached from your creative side:
"Whatever you, dear Mr. Kappus, must now undergo as an officer, you would have felt it just the same in any of the established professions, yes, even if you had merely sought some slight and independent contact with society, apart from any position, you would not have been spared this feeling of constraint."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Now the part where I agree with Rilke, and relate to his way of living, and yet hesitate to agree. Because aloneness is important to know self, and difficulties help us find answers. But difficulty itself is not the reason to do something. Actually, as I try to argue Rilke on this, I'm failing miserably.
"...it is good to be lonely, because loneliness is difficult; the difficulty of a thing must be one more reason for us to do it. To love is also good: because love is difficult."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
My favourite passage (from Letter 8):
"You have had many and great sorrows that have passed. And you say that even this passing was difficult and disturbing for you. But please consider: have not these great sorrows rather passed right through you? Has much not changed for you, and have you not been anywhere, at any point for your being, transformed while you were sad?"
" If only it were possible for us to see farther than our knowledge reaches, and even a little past the far reaches of our foresight, perhaps we would endure our sorrows with greater trust than our joys."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
"We must accept our reality as widely as is possible; everything, even the unprecedented, must be possible in it. At bottom, that is the only courage demanded of us;..."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
"Perhaps everything terrifying is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants help from us."
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
I'm not sure I understand Rilke's take on gender, women. Sometimes when I read his lines, I think he gets it and see him as a forward-thinking liberal. Other times, I'm sceptical. Two reads are probably not enough to comprehend so I will read again.