readingreveries's reviews
42 reviews

Praise by Sara Cate

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lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith

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challenging emotional reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

I picked up this book nearly 1 1/2 years after I read Speak. Seeing it in videos of “books that made me uncontrollably sob” piqued my interest, and knowing the plot similarities to Speak - a book that I found incredibly moving - I believed I’d like it no matter what. I hoped it would crush me emotionally.

The idea of the story spanning out over all four years of high school was smart, but the execution left something to be desired. I hoped it would display accurately that healing from trauma isn’t linear, but instead, I felt as if everything was rushed. We missed months of each year of Eden’s life, and this caused a disconnect. I understand that this could have been done deliberately to show how the time was slipping away from Eden, as she grew to know herself less and less. I get that it was likely meant to show how rapidly she had to grow from a little girl, to what she believed was a tough adult, however, I think this book could’ve been depicted as taking place over even just two years, and we still could’ve gotten the same effect.

I did not form any emotional connection to these characters, beyond the fact that I obviously felt bad for Eden, however, even then, I was not on the edge of my seat. I wasn’t hoping for her to reconnect with Mara and Steve. I wasn’t hoping she’d let her parents and Caelin back in again. I feel at the end of a book I should know the characters well, know how they’d react in most situations, and I unfortunately don’t feel that way about Eden.

Not all of the book was bad. I enjoyed the relationship between Josh and Eden, the dynamic they had, even if it was frustrating at times. I believe the depiction of Eden and her relationship with intimacy was accurate in some sense. The change between blacking out at Josh’s touch and years later becoming almost hyper sexual, which is a reality for many victims of rape. The way Eden slowly grew apart from Mara over the years. How she slowly isolated herself. The moment of Josh sharing his secrets with Eden, and years later, Eden sharing her own. The most compelling part of the story was her monologue to Josh about hatred. The most interesting relationship dynamics being the ones between Eden and Caelin and Eden and Josh. This, this was good.

As I’m writing this review, I have just finished reading “The Way I Used To Be.” Was anything inherently and objectively bad about it? No, but I wish so badly that I had liked this book. That it elicited the same reaction in me as it did for others, however, in the end, I felt like it was really just all around average.

As for the sequel, I don’t exactly know how much content there can be, without it falling short. Honestly, I wonder if it could’ve just been an epilogue. Perhaps they’re will be room for improvement in the second book, I’m not sure, but I do genuinely hope so, as Eden’s story does have room to be compelling, I’m just not sure if it is there yet.

Content Warnings