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smart_as_paint's reviews
172 reviews
The Vile Village by Lemony Snicket
3.0
The plot of these books is slowly evolving
The caretaker mystery just keeps revolving
The caretaker mystery just keeps revolving
The Carnivorous Carnival by Lemony Snicket
4.0
Whelp,
I will now and always be exactly one writing binge away from doing a detailed analysis on Lemony Snicket's use and misuse of the word "freak."
Such is the cross I bear
I will now and always be exactly one writing binge away from doing a detailed analysis on Lemony Snicket's use and misuse of the word "freak."
Such is the cross I bear
The Slippery Slope by Lemony Snicket
3.0
Dear Mr. Skicket,
You claim that Sunny Baudelaire can use eggplant as a substitute while hiding from villains at the source of the Stricken Stream. And I regret to inform you that you are sorely mistaken. At some point in your research, you have been led astray. And now it is my solemn duty to perform a course correction, a phrase which here means explain the relative mass of eggplants and humans.
The world's heaviest aubergine clocks in a colossal 6 pounds 14 ounces. While immense for a member of the nightshade family, this does not compare to a human girl. You willfully hide Sunny Baudelaire's weight from the reader but I do not think it's a stretch to assume she is heavier than 6 pounds 14 ounces. The average weight of a young girl is 26.5 pounds and that doesn't take into account the heavy conscience Sunny has from her life of crime. You expect us, intelligent and well-read readers, to believe that a group of professionally trained villains would be unable to differentiate 6 pounds 14 ounces and 26.5 pounds? You, my foil, expect to get away with murder.
Best Wishes,
Russell
You claim that Sunny Baudelaire can use eggplant as a substitute while hiding from villains at the source of the Stricken Stream. And I regret to inform you that you are sorely mistaken. At some point in your research, you have been led astray. And now it is my solemn duty to perform a course correction, a phrase which here means explain the relative mass of eggplants and humans.
The world's heaviest aubergine clocks in a colossal 6 pounds 14 ounces. While immense for a member of the nightshade family, this does not compare to a human girl. You willfully hide Sunny Baudelaire's weight from the reader but I do not think it's a stretch to assume she is heavier than 6 pounds 14 ounces. The average weight of a young girl is 26.5 pounds and that doesn't take into account the heavy conscience Sunny has from her life of crime. You expect us, intelligent and well-read readers, to believe that a group of professionally trained villains would be unable to differentiate 6 pounds 14 ounces and 26.5 pounds? You, my foil, expect to get away with murder.
Best Wishes,
Russell
The Grim Grotto by Lemony Snicket
3.0
Memory is a funny thing. That is to say, it's an imperfect record that shapes our reality. What are we as readers if not the summation of our memories? A foundational pillar may be load-bearing without being true. For example, you might remember— as I do— nailing that kareoke performace, enjoying middle-school, and The Grim Grotto being your favorite non-bisyllabic entry in this sinister series. Any or all of those memories could be false and you would have no way of knowing it.
So when it comes to pass that one of these core-memories is proven false, it forces onself to reconsider their entire existance. Has my whole life been a lie? is a question that one is likely to ask. And in fact is one that I'm asking right now. The tension was not as high— the dialog was not as sharp— the descriptions of the watercycle were not as transformative as I remembered.
We are left with so much more than a 3-star book. It's a termite in the foundation of my existence.
So when it comes to pass that one of these core-memories is proven false, it forces onself to reconsider their entire existance. Has my whole life been a lie? is a question that one is likely to ask. And in fact is one that I'm asking right now. The tension was not as high— the dialog was not as sharp— the descriptions of the watercycle were not as transformative as I remembered.
We are left with so much more than a 3-star book. It's a termite in the foundation of my existence.
The Shining by Stephen King
4.0
I'm sorry Stephen King, despite you're best effort, Roque isn't going to be a thing.