starrysteph's reviews
385 reviews

dark emotional hopeful lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

The Fall That Saved Us was a whirlwind of a sapphic romance between a nephilim ex-demon-hunter and a succubus, but it was also an exploration of healing, surviving toxic families, and finding home.

We follow Cassiel, who has fled her toxic demon-hunting family and her angelic duties to start a peaceful life that’s all her own. So when a succubus named Avitue shows up in her bookstore, she’s not sure whether to trust her old instincts or open up to something new. As their relationship deepens beyond simple seduction, they realize they have quite a lot in common. But they’re both haunted by past trauma and current dangers – from both angels and demons.

It’s got some cozy elements (how many of us dream of living above the bookstore we own?), some light but intriguing angel & demon lore, healing & rediscovering your identity after trauma, and a big splash of romance.

The pacing is a little strange (bursts of intense action and insta-love - then a bit slow and repetitive in the middle - then way too fast of a resolution), but I was engaged the whole way through.

All in all, a compelling paranormal romance that was cozy, sexy, and healing.

CW: trauma, toxic family, emotional abuse, self harm, eating disorder, off-page death/murder, sexual content

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The First Bright Thing by J.R. Dawson

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dark emotional hopeful reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.25

The First Bright Thing was a complicated journey through an abusive relationship - wrapped in a very magical, very Jewish, very queer, time-traveling atmosphere.

In a world where a small percentage of people (“Sparks”) developed magical powers, we follow Ringmaster Rin and her troupe of loveable outcasts. Rin has the power to jump through space and time, her wife Odette is both a trapeze artist and a healer, and their best friend Maude can peer into the future.

So they bring the Circus of the Fantasticals all around the country – and always change the life of one particular person in the audience.

It’s 1926, and everyone feels relieved that the war to end all wars is finally over. But Rin, Odette, and Maude know there is more to come. And Rin has more immediate troubles, too: the Circus King is after her and her family. And his dark tents and darker, manipulative magic won’t stop until he has what he wants.

It’s a heightened version of an abusive cycle - where the abuser’s manipulative prowess becomes an ACTUAL magical power. While there is hope and love, this is a dark story. We watch Rin violently struggle to separate her thoughts from her husband’s. Though the story begins after she has built a new life for herself, she is not free from his influence nor his gaslighting. She self harms in a myriad of ways.

This is often a horror book.

In addition to the abuse, the trio is struggling with the knowledge of upcoming World War II. They see devastation everywhere, and how outsiders like themselves are targeted. They want safety and peace, but it seems impossible.

So how do they grapple with all this pain and abuse? Rin - whose past memories are a bit jumbled - pulls from her Jewish childhood. She strives to do mitzvahs every day (sometimes sacrificing her own health and happiness) and ponders teshuvah (returning home). There are beautiful, shining morsels of finding home, family, and love after and amidst devastation. And they are created from Rin’s Jewish values.

“What is the absence of love called? It’s not hate. It’s not even apathy. The word lives in the anticipation of waiting for someone who will never come home.”

I loved how the story highlighted art as transformation, especially for a war-broken society that desperately needed something more than darkness. The descriptions of the performances themselves were a strong point.

My biggest struggle here was the writing. I could see the vision, but the sentences themselves were often clunky and awkward, and the pacing with the back-and-forth time jumps was not quite right. Things were explained very slowly over and over. It was hard to get into the flow of the story when you’re sinking into repetitive darkness.

I also think the author was juggling a few too many characters, and I wish more time had been spent developing a small supporting cast in addition to the trio. I appreciated how the magical realism elements (the Sparks’ powers) were ways of reshaping their trauma, but we didn’t get to linger in those threads enough.

But overall, this is a book I’d recommend. If you can handle a lot of pain, there are beautiful moments of Jewish & queer joy that you’ll get to soak in.

CW: war, emotional domestic abuse, toxic relationship, gaslighting, alcoholism, murder, death, homophobia, antisemitism, grief, death of parent, gore, gun violence, suicidal thoughts, sexism, child abuse, stalking, genocide, psychosis, pandemic, vomit

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Otherworldly by F.T. Lukens

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adventurous hopeful lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.5

Otherworldly was sweet & cozy – a bit too light on the character development and story for me to fully enjoy it, but a fun snowy romance all the same.

Ellery is seventeen years old, and most of their teenage-hood has been spent in never-ending winter. Their farming family swears that gods and goddesses are real, praying for answers and relief, but Ellery doesn’t buy into anything supernatural. So they head to the city where there’s still some money to be made, live with their cousin and her girlfriend, and work at a local diner.

And then? They run into Knox, a familiar from the world of the dead. He hasn’t heard from his queen in years, and when his latest contract ends he runs instead of returning, smashing right into Ellery.

Knox wants to stay, and Ellery wants a stop to this winter. So they strike a bargain … but start to spark feelings for each other despite the ending of the contract getting ever closer.

Ellery & Knox are very sweet - Ellery is cynical and grumpy and Knox is easily delighted by anything human - but I didn’t really feel like we got to experience them growing. Most chapters just had a simple conflict that was resolved, then rinse and repeat for the next day. I didn’t quite feel like there was a great overarching development for either one. I’m also always a little skeptical of YA romances where one being is thousands of years old. Knox acts young here, and his memory is wiped of the human world (just the human world) each time he travels back and forth, but he is an ancient magical being.

I also felt like we were told Ellery’s relationship with their parents / family on the farm was complicated, but we didn’t quite see that in action except for one phone call near the end of the book which honestly seemed out of character for their mother.

I really appreciate that Ellery is nonbinary and just exists as nonbinary. This isn’t a discover-your-identity book and there’s no transphobia or queerphobia of any kind. It’s lovely to create that space.

I also really enjoyed the supporting characters Charley (Ellery’s cousin) and her girlfriend Zada. They seemed a bit more grounded to me – they had some great dialogue, were very supportive, and in general had a lovely & healthy relationship.

Overall it was a cute read, and I think it will happily find a home with young readers who are ready to slip into a cozy fantastical world - and experience a first-love romance.

CW: death, blood, violence, grief

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(I received an advance reader copy of this book; this is my honest review.)

Bless the Blood: A Cancer Memoir by Walela Nehanda

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challenging emotional hopeful reflective sad fast-paced

4.0

Bless the Blood is a memoir - told mostly in verse - about Walela Nehanda’s experience after being diagnosed with leukemia.

But these words go far, far beyond the subtitle of “cancer memoir”. This is a story of a young, Black, nonbinary person learning how to face death, stand up for themself and their needs, and reconnect with their ancestors.

“my cancer saved me, because did you know it is actually really so fucking terrifying being invested in living?”

It’s a story of love, and finding family, and choosing to take control of your life. It’s a story of surviving suicide and medical racism and transphobia and fatphobia and ableism and all those other daggers from people who are supposed to provide help, comfort, and support.

Nehanda reflects on their childhood, and their complicated & painful relationship with both of their parents. Their deep connection to their grandparents and extended ancestors were forged into some of the most moving pieces in the book. Heaven is at Grandma’s House - towards the end - broke me.

“A tenderness only reserved for myself,

where no one, not even me,

can hurt myself.

What is a child

with no mother,

no father,

but they are both

still living?

Does that make

me a ghost, too?”

The Mentor’s Silence, But You Don’t Look Sick, and Unsolicited Advice will hit home for anyone with a chronic illness.

And woven throughout every piece is how the intersection of existing as a person who is Black, disabled, fat, and nonbinary makes navigating the medical system a devastating, exhausting journey.

To me, this is an adult book. I think that teenagers could absolutely read and connect to the material - and the author is in their early to mid twenties - but it is not directed to a teenage audience. So I’m definitely puzzled by that categorization.

I do also think it needed a bit more editing and precision. Some moments were electrifying; bold; vulnerable; raw. And other moments were a little too repetitive or felt to me as though they were placed strangely.

But this was an impactful read.

CW: cancer, self harm, suicidal thoughts, medical trauma, child abuse, grief, death of loved ones, domestic abuse, racism, deadnaming, transphobia, fatphobia, eating disorder, pandemic

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(I received a free copy of this book; this is my honest review.)

King of Dead Things by Nevin Holness

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adventurous funny mysterious tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

If you love found family, charming characters, spooky monsters, shapeshifters, and Caribbean legends … get ready for King of Dead Things.

I have once again picked up a book that I didn’t know was a duology - that ending! I need to know SO MUCH MORE.

We’re following Eli, a teenager with magical healing abilities and no memory of his past. Luckily, he’s got a great support system in his two best friends, Sunny and Max. When they’re sent to track down the fang of Osebo, a weapon that can take magic, their paths collide with Malcolm.

Malcolm is the son of the duppy king, desperate to wipe away their connection. But he needs his dad in order to help his mom, so he’ll use his death magic to do anything he needs to.

The full group soon finds themselves racing through London in search of the fang - before someone very evil and very powerful gets her hands on it. But they’ve all got secrets of their own, and they have to learn to trust each other in order to survive.

I really loved all of the main and side characters here. They were well-developed, and the different forms of friendship and found family were lovely. The main group of young people have found home in each other - and with the blunt but caring Pam, who owns the Caribbean restaurant where they live.

The Afro-Caribbean folklore was compelling, and I thought the magical rules (how magic is used and stored in this world) were really interesting.

It was very fast-paced, which mostly worked, but I did think the ending scenes were a bit rushed - especially the final battle. I also would have loved a little bit more resolution in this first arc. The ending felt a bit frustrating, and I didn’t feel like we got really any answers at all.

This was a lot of fun, and I’m super intrigued to see how the story concludes.

CW: murder, death, vomit, toxic relationship, dementia, blood, gore, body horror, abandonment, animal death

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(I received an advance reader copy of this book; this is my honest review.)

Content Warnings

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez

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adventurous challenging emotional mysterious reflective tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

OH! Oh.

The Spear Cuts Through Water was an absolutely mesmerizing joy. It’s a love story between two young men, but it’s also a love letter to oral storytelling and myth-making.

It’s a beautifully constructed story that pushed boundaries & made me delight in fantasy and imagination once again. I needed this book at this time.

“The stories are everywhere, you cannot avoid them. Every day you tell a story to yourself; the details of your day become a part of your myth.”

The plot - in broad strokes - is about two warriors, both with complicated, dark pasts. Jun is a royal guard who is weighed down by the guilt of his past violence, and Keema is an outcast looking for a community to belong to. Their country is under a brutal rule, thanks to a ruthless emperor and his sons, the Three Terrors. These violent sons control the land with powers extracted from an old Moon god … who also happens to be their mother.

But when that god is freed? She ends up on an fantastical and dangerous five-day journey with the two young warriors, hoping to change the country forever and submit herself to freedom.

And watching this all unfold are a group of mortal souls in the Inverted Theater. They’re each brought here (from across space and time) through a dream to witness one performance. It’s a performance that is meant for them exactly in that moment, but also one that they’ll never remember again once they wake.

The Spear Cuts Through Water is a love story about two souls forging their way through violence and finding each other. It’s an exploration of legacy, fate, dedication, and how stories connect us all.

The writing is communal. It swirls between narrative perspectives - sometimes even switching from sentence to sentence - and it WORKED. Brilliantly. You are challenged to hold multiple planes of space and time in your hands at once. It may require a bit of patience, but once you submit to the rhythm, you can almost hear the voices aloud, piping in to share their emotions, desires, and last breaths.

It really is a performance - we as readers are IN the Inverted Theater. It’s folkloric and captivating, lush and haunting, and gory and sad. It’s a lyrical tapestry and it is raw collective storytelling. It’s not exactly a charming view of humanity, but it shows how love (in all forms) and connection make life worthwhile.

I cared so deeply about these characters. I cared so deeply about these SINGLE SENTENCE ASIDES. I was in this book and on this journey with my entire being.

A quick note to expand upon the below content warnings: this book involves ritualistic cannibalism and a lot of gore.

CW: murder, death (parent/child), body horror, cannibalism, gore, decapitation, war, animal cruelty/death, ableism, torture, slavery, suicide, vomit, excrement

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Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado

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challenging dark emotional mysterious tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Her Body and Other Parties is a bold & bloody mix of horror, fantasy, and wry humor.

It explores the darkness & violence of womanhood, complicated relationships with bodies, and the ways women warp themselves to please others.

The first story - The Husband Stitch - was my favorite by far. It was a twist on The Green Ribbon and (like many of the following stories) weaves in folklore and urban legends. It addresses the reader directly, encouraging us to read the story out loud and follow some staging directions.

I was compelled by most of the rest of the collection, but they honestly didn’t compare to the brilliance of the first. This book is a little gross (complimentary), very queer, and filled with darkly relatable daily pain.

I will add that the delightfully, deliriously long and surreal Law & Order: SVU story has my whole heart.

It’s a great book to read on an eerie, rainy night. Just be sure to ground yourself in this reality. And not question that shape outside the window … or that sudden intrusive memory from your childhood … and is that music flowing up from the floorboards?

CW: body horror, rape & sexual violence, murder, death, eating disorder, fatphobia, misogyny, domestic abuse, mental illness, animal cruelty & death, vomit, gore, pregnancy, dysphoria , infidelity, pandemic, homophobia, suicidal thoughts/attempt, psychosis, sexual content

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The Necessity of Rain by Sarah Chorn

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dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

The Necessity of Rain is quietly, curiously beautiful.

We step into the minds of three characters in a world where the Divine are slowly becoming mortal - losing their Divinity after giving so much to Creation.

Isra is a butterfly woman who was ripped from her war-torn world by a brother who hoped to save her life and a ferrier who couldn’t leave her behind. She’s just arrived in Meadowsweet.

Belladonna is that ferrier - she traveled through Chaos and away from her controlling mother, but time moves differently outside of Meadowsweet, and when she returns with her young daughter she is surprised by how much things have changed … and how much they haven’t. She has sensory sensitivities.

Rosemary grew up in Meadowsweet, and is supporting both of her parents (one Divine and one mortal) as they age. We jump back and forth through time during her narration and witness her journey from poverty & fear to living with an abundance of love, both from parents and mentors and with Belladonna. Rosemary uses a cane as a child and sometimes a wheelchair as she ages, and she grapples with internalized ableism while finding shining acceptance from everyone else in her life.

All of these characters engage with mortality and question what it means to live on after death. There’s this thread of quiet strength – of living through the loss of a loved one, but also appreciating where you are without clinging to the past or future.

There’s also representation of love in all forms. Rosemary discovers beautiful parental love. And Belladonna ponders how to be the best mother to her daughter while stepping away from the toxicity and manipulativeness of her own home.

There is romantic polyamorous love between Rosemary, Belladonna, and Isra, but I didn’t quite buy this. I think the biggest issue here was that there were gaps in the narration – we are with Belladonna while Isra and Rosemary meet, and suddenly they adore each other. It’s unclear how that clicked into place, and while I was delighted that all three of them had each other, I wished we witnessed that development. The narrative voices were also a wee bit too similar.

The writing feels deeply, deeply authentic. This is a collection of internal journeys (not much at all actually happens), and each narrator was exquisitely vulnerable. The language was mostly lovely, but sometimes felt ornamental in a way that took away from the message. I think the prose shined in its moments of simplicity. I did absolutely adore the flower imagery and symbolism, though!

This is the slowest reading experience I’ve had in a long time, and I do feel as though the writing pushed me in that direction. I needed time to process each chapter and let my own emotions simmer. And this is also one of the longest stretches of time I’ve waited before writing and posting my review – I just had to sit with my own feelings about death, loss, and love.

It is profoundly devastating. You’ll cry. But it’s not a tragedy; there’s strength and hope and love and all the things that happen when every cell in your body changes and reshapes itself after loss.

CW: death of loved ones, anxiety, panic attacks, loss of home due to war/bombings, war, emotionally abusive parent, fantasy dementia, homophobia

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Content Warnings

Tender Beasts by Liselle Sambury

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adventurous challenging dark emotional mysterious tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Tender Beasts is another chilling, brilliant tale from Liselle Sambury, grappling with public perception, complicated family dynamics, and gruesome, folkloric haunts.

Sunny Behre is the perfect child. And after the death of her mother – the matriarch of the wealthy Behres – she’s supposed to be the one to lead the family. But all she got in the will was a post-it nate, saying “Take care of Dom.”

Dom is the youngest of the five Behre siblings … and he’s been charged with murdering his girlfriend. Sunny’s not sure whether he’s innocent or dangerous, but when one of their classmates is brutally killed and she finds Dom at the scene of the crime, things get a lot trickier. Dom swears he’s innocent, and the two of them start to work to track down the real murderer. But the bodies start piling up, and the family Sunny was so ready to lead is at risk.

Sunny is a complicated main character, but it’s fascinating to live inside her head. She’s hyper-focused on how she is perceived and how she treats others – she needs to be liked by everyone, because she thinks that’s how a leader needs to behave. But in the process, Sunny shuts off her real self. She doesn’t allow herself to express any sort of negative emotion, she doesn’t know how to authentically make friends, and she keeps everyone at a saccharine distance.

I thought each member of the Behre family was well-developed and interesting, and my heart was touched by many of the supporting characters. Jeremy (Dom’s best friend) and Shyanne (in Sunny’s circle) in particular both showed what authentic friendships could look like. They’re funny, they’re real, and they stood up for themselves while making sure Sunny got some needed-but-loving feedback.

This book is really a reflection on the things we pass down. It’s about generational trauma, but it also highlights cycle breakers – you can be the one to stop the toxicity. You don’t have to keep the cycle going.

It’s also about complicated family dynamics. Sunny’s mom did not value all of her children equally, and each child felt a different pressure to contribute or be left behind. And Dom in particular was intentionally brushed to the side.

And it navigates the intersections of wealth and race and class with nuance (while still staying clear enough for young readers). It covers racism, and the maneuvers that different Black characters had to do to preserve their image and their safety. There’s so much pressure, and wealth is a bonus that only the Behre family characters had access to.

I loved the folk horror vibes - loved, loved, loved them. I will say that by the ending, I still didn’t completely understand the Milk Man as a reader, and the initial spark and background felt a little fuzzy. It felt like we were missing some information, and I was overflowing with questions about the opening scene that were never addressed. That was a bit unsatisfying, and the mystery aspect of the plot was also sometimes a tad too convenient for my taste.

But overall, this was another extraordinary read from Liselle Sambury.

CW: murder, death (parent/child), gore, animal cruelty/death, child abuse, infidelity, racism, mental illness, self harm, torture, body horror, grief, fire, cultural appropriation, classism, suicide, stalking, gaslighting, vomit

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(I received an advance reader copy of this book; this is my honest review.)

Why Fish Don't Exist: A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life by Lulu Miller

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emotional hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

3.75

A curious blend of biography and memoir. Why Fish Don’t Exist questioned our desire to label and compartmentalize to make order out of chaos, showed us how this finite & hierarchical way of thinking could feed dangerous viewpoints, and also treated us to a bit of a coming-of-age story with some prompters on how to think about life.

I truly enjoyed the final message - though I’m sure it would be more impactful for others depending on your stage of life and comfort with your place in the universe.

I didn’t love the treatment of David Starr Jordan’s place in the eugenics movement (and his abuse of power, racism, ableism, and so on) as a sort of twist or ‘gotcha’. I think the throughline (that forcing chaos into order is both scientifically inaccurate and deeply harmful & that Jordan’s obsession with hierarchy encouraged his bigoted ideals) worked without Miller romanticizing Jordan for most of the book, and Miller could have easily hinted that her feelings for Jordan had shifted far earlier.

That was definitely a stumble for me (I’m decidedly less interested in stories of white women saddened by new knowledge about their heroes), and could also be very triggering for readers who have no idea that it is coming.

Otherwise, I enjoyed the storytelling & Miller’s journey with her queerness. I loved the energy of embracing the chaos around you. I liked the invitation to question everything that I categorize, and what it would feel like to release that.

CW: death, eugenics, forced sterilization, ableism, racism, genocide, suicidal thoughts/attempt, forced institutionalization, medical trauma, mental illness, murder, self harm, rape, child abuse, infertility, xenophobia, animal cruelty/death, infidelity

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starrysteph's reviews 385 reviews

starrysteph's reviews
385 reviews