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4.63 AVERAGE
4.63 AVERAGE
August 2025: Just finished a slow re-read of this book with my eyes and it remains a five-star read for me. Very engaging, informative and thought provoking. I highly recommend it.
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This book is a friendly and accessible primer for people new to the subject matter around gender and trans issues and is also a great resource for those of us who have already done a lot of educating ourselves around these issues. The author is very gracious and patient with readers. He also very generously shares a lot of personal reflections that make the content even more engaging. I listened to the audiobook and it is narrated by the author. I actually kind of loved that while he starts off exceedingly gentle, he gets a little more animated (and almost heated) when talking about the trickier (and maybe more personal?) topics of trans folks in sports and the experience of dating while trans. Those feel like trans right 201 topics and I think his passion around these subjects really shines through and pushed me to think differently about them.
I've done a lot of reading about gender but this book got me thinking in completely new ways. It was almost hilarious to think about how made up everything is when he points it out that way! Schuyler uses curiosity to push people to think differently and it's very effective. I think I will try to use some of his approach to handle difficult conversations in my life, about any subject. Also, chapter nine includes one of the best explanations about microaggressions I've heard and also an excellent template for how to apologize.
I highly recommend this book (and the audio version) for all different ages and types of readers. It is certainly uncomfortable at times but I'll be holding a lot of these ideas and learnings with me for a long time.
I received a digital Advance Reader Copy from NetGalley and Hachette Books in exchange for an honest review.
>>>>>>
This book is a friendly and accessible primer for people new to the subject matter around gender and trans issues and is also a great resource for those of us who have already done a lot of educating ourselves around these issues. The author is very gracious and patient with readers. He also very generously shares a lot of personal reflections that make the content even more engaging. I listened to the audiobook and it is narrated by the author. I actually kind of loved that while he starts off exceedingly gentle, he gets a little more animated (and almost heated) when talking about the trickier (and maybe more personal?) topics of trans folks in sports and the experience of dating while trans. Those feel like trans right 201 topics and I think his passion around these subjects really shines through and pushed me to think differently about them.
I've done a lot of reading about gender but this book got me thinking in completely new ways. It was almost hilarious to think about how made up everything is when he points it out that way! Schuyler uses curiosity to push people to think differently and it's very effective. I think I will try to use some of his approach to handle difficult conversations in my life, about any subject. Also, chapter nine includes one of the best explanations about microaggressions I've heard and also an excellent template for how to apologize.
I highly recommend this book (and the audio version) for all different ages and types of readers. It is certainly uncomfortable at times but I'll be holding a lot of these ideas and learnings with me for a long time.
I received a digital Advance Reader Copy from NetGalley and Hachette Books in exchange for an honest review.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
I really enjoyed this. He’s so well spoken and the way he explains complicated issues in such an easily digestible way is awesome. This might be my collect and give to friends and family who want to know more read.
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
I don't read/listen to much non-fiction, but this kept my attention the whole time. This was such a well written representation, spoken from someone who has walked a mile in someone else's shoes, as well as someone else's gender. This was full of ways to approach different topics and potential conversation starters with transgender people that lead with love and not just curiosity about where the person is in their journey/transition. This was research led conversations and statistics, but also about meeting people halfway and asking about who they are for the sake of asking about the past of someone you had just met, not just wondering what's under the clothes. It was a real, raw and beautiful book that will stick with me for a long time.
emotional
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
Anyone wanting to understand transgender people, who want to have a little more knowledge on how to be an ally and advocate for the trans community, or young trans people who need a little hope and inspiration from someone who has been through it (including being a trans NCAA athlete-which we know is a big deal right now), this is the book for you. Honestly, this is the book for everyone. Bailar writes with kindness and patience while still being blunt and honest.
The book covers just about every topic you can cover, relating to the trans experience. Sports, coming out, common questions, personal experiences, etc., Bailar works through it, giving his take and advice. I especially enjoyed the chapters on trans athletes, given that it's a national topic of conversation right now. I tabbed soooo many pages.
Did I mention there are stats and annotations? This isn't opinion and memoir, it's information and studies too.
In conclusion: I really really liked it. I definitely recommend this to everyone.
Thanks to Hachette Book Group for the ARC and gifted copy.
The book covers just about every topic you can cover, relating to the trans experience. Sports, coming out, common questions, personal experiences, etc., Bailar works through it, giving his take and advice. I especially enjoyed the chapters on trans athletes, given that it's a national topic of conversation right now. I tabbed soooo many pages.
Did I mention there are stats and annotations? This isn't opinion and memoir, it's information and studies too.
In conclusion: I really really liked it. I definitely recommend this to everyone.
Thanks to Hachette Book Group for the ARC and gifted copy.
I requested it from the library again to finish. I just had too many reads at the same time!
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
Schuyler does a phenomenal job explaining the trans experience. More importantly, he explains in detail why there is no singular “trans experience.” He walks people through the learning process of becoming a trans ally with so much patience and kindness. As a trans man, I wish that everyone had access to this book
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
HIGHLY RECOMMEND if you’re needing a better understanding of pronouns or just want to see how you as an ally can be more inclusive. I definitely was able to take away ALOT of info and I really appreciate his story and patience and being an advocate for his community.
It takes a crap tin of strength to go thru what he did and continues to go thru.
This book is like 30% memoir - 70% research based but the memoir portion is still really good and personable.
It takes a crap tin of strength to go thru what he did and continues to go thru.
This book is like 30% memoir - 70% research based but the memoir portion is still really good and personable.
emotional
informative
reflective
slow-paced
This book was wonderful. It answered questions, cleared doubts, and generally helped me to better understand this topic. It's a book I wish everyone would read.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
This is essential reading, especially for cis folks. Equal parts poignant, thought-provoking and instructional. The audiobook with Schuyler’s narration is fantastic. I appreciate the way he wove his own journey and his unique perspective as a Korean trans male athlete, while also including sections on terminology and explanations of concepts cis people may not have been exposed to previously. I found the chapters on trans athletes and toxic masculinity to be particularly powerful, but truly the entire book is phenomenal.