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4.51 AVERAGE
4.51 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
what a quietly impactful book. yiyun li works through the loss of both of her sons to suicide in such a profound and moving manner. she explores the idea of radical acceptance as a framework for the rest of her life, and the respect that she shows for her sons, their struggles, and their ultimate decisions is so stoic and full of restraint.
i think the restraint is what’s most striking about the book for me. she discusses the way that thinking has always prevailed over feeling for her, similar to her younger son james, and how that has affected the way she processes her loss. to read about someone going through the unimaginable and commit to navigating it in a way that works for them, without kicking and screaming, is awe-inspiring. i’m sure the narrative voice and almost analytical style will garner comparisons to joan didion’s works on grief.
i was also really touched by the way li depicts the relationship between her two sons - how close they were and how the death of her older son must have deeply hurt her younger son. thinking about these losses not only in the context of motherhood, but within the entire family structure, makes it even more heartbreaking.
this was my first time reading yiyun li and i’m definitely interested in checking out her other books now. the way she handled this subject was so strong and impressive.
thank you to fsg and netgalley for the digital arc!
dark
reflective
fast-paced
This is a beautiful grief memoir. It is focused so much on thinking around death and suicide and less around feeling (by design). I loved that shift in approach. The writing is gorgeous and the way she interacts with other art objects is moving.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
Not necessarily a book about grief, but more a collection of thoughts as Yiyun Li reckons with her second son's suicide, years after her first son's suicide.
Truly what words do you have when reading a story like this? Not many, but I found it extremely emotional and honest. Something that I'm not sure I could manage if I were in her situation.
Thanks FSG for the ARC!
Truly what words do you have when reading a story like this? Not many, but I found it extremely emotional and honest. Something that I'm not sure I could manage if I were in her situation.
Thanks FSG for the ARC!
“Life, in an absolute sense, is worth living, just as art is worth pursuing, science is worth exploring, justice is worth seeking. However, the fact that something is worth doing doesn't always mean a person is endowed with the capacity to do it, or that a person, once endowed with that capacity, can retain it. The gap between worth doing and being able to do is where aspiration dwells for the young and decline lies in wait for the old.“
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
challenging
emotional
sad
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Minor: Suicide
Yiyun Li's memoir Things in Nature Merely Grow is an incredibly moving reflection on the loss of her younger son James by suicide. She previously explored the loss of a son by suicide in her novel Where Reasons End, which she wrote after the death of her older son Vincent by suicide. To lose both of your children that way is unimaginable. This memoir is of course deeply interior. She writes "I have decided to write this book, starting with a single established fact: I am in an abyss." She describes the radical acceptance she is incorporating in the aftermath of James' death. She also looks back on Vincent's death and compared the similarities and differences between her sons. She writes "Vincent lived through his feelings, deep, intense, and overwhelming feelings, and he dies from his feelings." While "James thought hard: deeply, philosophically, and privately. He died from thinking." She is introspective about her intuitions as a mother. I appreciated her reflection on learning to swim as an adult- those learning in childhood tend to swim unthinkingly, and she extrapolates for some living is a natural process, which she believes has never been true for her or her sons. Some breathtakingly sad and resonant words from Li, and if a reader is in a good headspace to read about this topic matter, I would very much recommend this one.
Thank you to Farrar, Straus and Giroux via NetGalley for the advance reader copy in exchange for honest review.
Thank you to Farrar, Straus and Giroux via NetGalley for the advance reader copy in exchange for honest review.