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4.51 AVERAGE
4.51 AVERAGE
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
What a stunning memoir by Yiyun Li, written for her son, James. As she shared James with us throughout the book, she acknowledged the limitations in language to write to and for him--particularly different than she experienced in writing a novel six years prior for her elder deceased son. And yet even with language's imperfection, she painted a picture of James so generously that I do feel I know some part of him now, and I'm so grateful.
LI has endured--and continues to live with--unimaginable loss with the deaths of her two sons by suicide, six years and four months apart. And yet she has captured on the page the thinking she is employing to continue on in the abyss. I am so moved by how she is thinking herself through it--of her own explanation, not feeling her way through, but thinking. It's such a beautiful homage to James.
Part of what is striking about Li's memoir is her frequent and varied allusions to various other works, be they Shakespeare, Chopin, geometry, or Mariane Robinson. It's such a reminder that anything we may experience--any thought or feeling we have has--has been thought/felt/experienced before. There's solace in looking back and being seen by artists and thinkers from centuries past.
I was also struck by the friendships that Li has had around her through the losses of her children. To be known and seen the way her friends have held her is so consequential. It's also a testament to Li's authenticity that she has a set of people around her who show up in ways that are meaningful to her. May we all be brave enough and self-aware enough to cultivate relationships like these.
I'm so grateful to Li for this stunning work. It's a gift, and I have no doubt I'll revisit it throughout my life as a meaningful meditation on enduring loss.
reflective
sad
challenging
dark
reflective
medium-paced
Thank you FSG for the proof copy! This was challenging because of the delicate subject matter; it was important that I take my time with it to stay somewhat grounded. I’m really glad I took it slowly because there is so much to savor in Li’s reflective writing. I learned a lot through her experience while also finding it incredibly relatable. Sibling loss is certainly an untapped experience compared to childloss (it even lacks a term such as “widow/widower” or “orphan”) and I appreciate the ‘logical’ exploration of loss that Li undertakes in understanding her youngest son’s permanent decision. Details are revealed in a very intentional manner which I also appreciate, like peeling back flower petals. Beautifully written and worth taking extra time with this short text.
emotional
reflective
I’m not sure how one can ‘review’ a book so deeply personal and tethered to such life-altering events. This collection of words felt so deeply intimate, as if I stumbled upon Yiyun Li’s journal and breached into the interior of her mind. Fortunately, that is not the case. These exquisite insights were intentionally shared with the world and I feel lucky to have read them. What Yiyun Li has done within these pages is remarkable - an emotional examination of the loss of both of her sons while building a radical acceptance of their choice to end their own lives. I recently read another novel where the author painfully navigates the acceptance of her brother’s choice to take his own life and, much like with that text, I feel a sense of admiration for Yiyun’s ability to respect her children in all of their decisions while being engulfed in the loss of them. These musings on her losses showcase that there is no right way to endure heartache, no one way to continue through life when life feels as though it is standing still.
Thank you to FSG for the advanced copy of this phenomenal memoir.
Thank you to FSG for the advanced copy of this phenomenal memoir.
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
I don’t think I’ll ever forget this little book. I wish there was a way to describe how it’s moved me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
One of those incredibly hard reads that also focuses on grief and how it's experienced - and in this particular case, how two instances of the same thing happening (both of your sons commiting suicide) can be similar and different. One of those things you hope you never have to live through, and honestly, I'm impressed that she only spends one chapter calling out Chinese social media users who decided to dogpile on her after her second son passed. Hell of a read.
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
In a way, Things in Nature Merely Grow resists reviews. In Li’s interest in avoiding the pitfalls of cliche (including even the language of ‘grief’ itself) the writing of this book is clear. Its aim appears to be in communicating rather than flourishing. As Li explains, there is no adjective that can describe living a childless life with ‘a mother’s thoughts.’ This book is stark in its honesty and self-assured in its mission to capture a moment in time without obsessive manicuring, without expectation or parameter. This means the prose of frequently pared back and matter of fact. It reads like a series of thoughts or journal entries rather than a ‘journey’ through bereavement. In this way it is incredibly honest and tight. It may also, for some readers, feel abrasive. But all of this bridges a gap, and plays a very important role - in attempting to communicate the incommunicable pain of losing both of your children to suicide. It does not sensationalise or even dramatise. It exits, maybe, in an act of radical acceptance.
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
Thank you to FSG for the early review copy via NetGalley!
This was heartbreaking and beautiful. To lose two children in such a way is something that no parent should ever experience, and I appreciate that Li writes in a very logical manner. She does so in homage to her second son, just as she once wrote a novel in homage to her first son.
My only critique is that she does tend to repeat thoughts/musings on certain topics. But otherwise, this is a great memoir!
This was heartbreaking and beautiful. To lose two children in such a way is something that no parent should ever experience, and I appreciate that Li writes in a very logical manner. She does so in homage to her second son, just as she once wrote a novel in homage to her first son.
My only critique is that she does tend to repeat thoughts/musings on certain topics. But otherwise, this is a great memoir!