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dotreadsbooks's review
3.0
This is a thought provoking and instructional book esp for those going through a hard time in marriage. Love one another because He loved us first!
tiggerser's review
3.0
A good primer to explore your spouses primary communication of love, however, it's dated and a bit antiquated. Today we need more tangible advice on how to create the experiences that will make our spouses feel loved and working them into a routine that feels natural. A lot of hype about this book and I felt it was rudimentary and not all that mind-blowing. If anything, it steers you towards marriage therapy because that of course is Dr. Chapman's profession.
wfryer's review
5.0
Everyone in my family seems to have a unique love language. This is an important book to read and understand!
roseleaf24's review
4.0
I am not sure that this version is needed on top of all the other versions out there, and I'm not incredibly find of the capitalization of this idea. But this book has been incredibly helpful for my husband and I. At the very least, it had given us a common vocabulary to discuss the issues we face, but it has made a lot of sense and given us ways to help each other and our marriage.
sarahthebookdragon's review
5.0
My relationship is a happy one. I heard about this book via one of the many book podcasts I subscribe to. I decided to give it a whirl. I learned SO much and look forward to applying it to my life. I recommend this shorty to anyone looking to enrich their relationship with their significant other or with their children (i have no children, but some of the examples used illustrate how it can be useful to child rearing). Yay love!!
roseandswan's review
This book is heteronormative, sometimes sexist, and very repetitive, but the concept that people express and feel love in different 'languages' makes a lot of sense. You only have to read about half this book to get the pertinent information, the rest is basically the author patting himself on the back. But still a good concept. Needs an update for sure.
underthemoinlight's review
4.0
Nice insight into the love languages in a way that is easily understandable and with pleasant writing style and story.
genzuya's review
2.0
I am very torn with this book. It was an interesting read--I had actually discovered mine and my husband's love languages and it has been helpful with our communication--but I do not agree with the author about a lot of things.
From a psychological standpoint, it was not very professional. It felt as though he was trying to paint himself as a perfect, God-loving, miracle-working man. It was a little too cookie-cutter for me. He often talks about how his patients and clients would boast about how "amazing" and "flawless" he is, which seems very vain to me. To me, it came off as him bragging about his achievements rather than actually trying to help.
Also, when he said that men are programmed to crave sex more because of their build-up of sperm, I nearly died of laughter. Not only is that highly incorrect, I feel it is ridiculous. I feel as though Gary Chapman is very misogynistic. He frequently talks about women doing their husbands favors such as having sex with them even when they don't want to, cook for them more, clean for them more, and other stereotypical things, and when I told my husband that he laughed and said, "Housework should be divided fifty-fifty."
There isn't much of a variety, either. Every couple he talks about are church goers, upper middle-class, white, and heterosexual. Notice a pattern here? It made me feel alienated and a little angry. It came off as pompous, like "Look at us! We're so awesome because we love God and are heterosexual and make a decent amount of money! Love us!" My husband and I are not religious; I'm not heterosexual; and we would fit somewhere in the middle-lower class. I felt as though I wasn't good enough to be reading it, and I thought maybe it was a personal problem of mine until I had read other people felt that way.
On the other hand, it did help with mine and my husband's communication. I am not an emotional person in the least bit and can't compliment anything to save my life, but after I had discovered my husband's second love language was Words of Affirmation (Quality Time being both of our main one), I began to work on my communication skills and started expressing how I feel about him more. When he discovered my second love language was Acts of Service, he started helping me with errands more.
I'm very torn being hating and liking this book.
From a psychological standpoint, it was not very professional. It felt as though he was trying to paint himself as a perfect, God-loving, miracle-working man. It was a little too cookie-cutter for me. He often talks about how his patients and clients would boast about how "amazing" and "flawless" he is, which seems very vain to me. To me, it came off as him bragging about his achievements rather than actually trying to help.
Also, when he said that men are programmed to crave sex more because of their build-up of sperm, I nearly died of laughter. Not only is that highly incorrect, I feel it is ridiculous. I feel as though Gary Chapman is very misogynistic. He frequently talks about women doing their husbands favors such as having sex with them even when they don't want to, cook for them more, clean for them more, and other stereotypical things, and when I told my husband that he laughed and said, "Housework should be divided fifty-fifty."
There isn't much of a variety, either. Every couple he talks about are church goers, upper middle-class, white, and heterosexual. Notice a pattern here? It made me feel alienated and a little angry. It came off as pompous, like "Look at us! We're so awesome because we love God and are heterosexual and make a decent amount of money! Love us!" My husband and I are not religious; I'm not heterosexual; and we would fit somewhere in the middle-lower class. I felt as though I wasn't good enough to be reading it, and I thought maybe it was a personal problem of mine until I had read other people felt that way.
On the other hand, it did help with mine and my husband's communication. I am not an emotional person in the least bit and can't compliment anything to save my life, but after I had discovered my husband's second love language was Words of Affirmation (Quality Time being both of our main one), I began to work on my communication skills and started expressing how I feel about him more. When he discovered my second love language was Acts of Service, he started helping me with errands more.
I'm very torn being hating and liking this book.