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jenhurst's review against another edition
2.0
I did not like this at all.
A few of my issues:
1.) every girl she talked to had an issue with the guys they were with watching porn. A lot of girls don’t care, because virtually every guy watches porn. There is an issue with men having porn addictions and expecting things because of porn, but it only mentions the women’s insecurities surrounding it. Men also have insecurities from porn about not lasting longer enough or having a big enough dick. I wish that they would’ve addressed this as well.
2.) I felt like it didn’t go enough into the empowerment of women knowing what they want and masturbation. It touched on the fact women who masterbate have better sex/more orgasms but I think “Pleasure Activism” did a much more empowering and better way of presenting it.
3.) the whole section of how girls always are giving around giving guys blow jobs reminded me of the scare campaign involving rainbow parties. Yes oral sex is very common and lots of women do that instead of having sex. It can start young. But the way it was presented as like all all the girls were doing it all the time annoyed me. The girls said they couldn’t hang out with guys alone because they all expected a blow job. Yes, there are guys who are like that. They are assholes. They’re not guys me or my girl friends want to be friends with. I have never had a close guy friend with that I wouldn’t hang out one on one with and I can tell you he didn’t expect a blow job when we did. I felt like the way the book portrayed men was like they were all the assholes. Not true, there’s plenty of good men who won’t ask for blow jobs when you hang out with them, spend the whole time pressuring you and won’t wait for you to get drunk to have sex. I’ve been the drunk girl and they’re either hand me off to one of the girls I came with or make sure I get home safely, etc. They are guys who will take advantage of girls, but there’s just as many who do look out for girls and want to make sure their okay. I wish the book would’ve shown men in a more positive light as well.
A few of my issues:
1.) every girl she talked to had an issue with the guys they were with watching porn. A lot of girls don’t care, because virtually every guy watches porn. There is an issue with men having porn addictions and expecting things because of porn, but it only mentions the women’s insecurities surrounding it. Men also have insecurities from porn about not lasting longer enough or having a big enough dick. I wish that they would’ve addressed this as well.
2.) I felt like it didn’t go enough into the empowerment of women knowing what they want and masturbation. It touched on the fact women who masterbate have better sex/more orgasms but I think “Pleasure Activism” did a much more empowering and better way of presenting it.
3.) the whole section of how girls always are giving around giving guys blow jobs reminded me of the scare campaign involving rainbow parties. Yes oral sex is very common and lots of women do that instead of having sex. It can start young. But the way it was presented as like all all the girls were doing it all the time annoyed me. The girls said they couldn’t hang out with guys alone because they all expected a blow job. Yes, there are guys who are like that. They are assholes. They’re not guys me or my girl friends want to be friends with. I have never had a close guy friend with that I wouldn’t hang out one on one with and I can tell you he didn’t expect a blow job when we did. I felt like the way the book portrayed men was like they were all the assholes. Not true, there’s plenty of good men who won’t ask for blow jobs when you hang out with them, spend the whole time pressuring you and won’t wait for you to get drunk to have sex. I’ve been the drunk girl and they’re either hand me off to one of the girls I came with or make sure I get home safely, etc. They are guys who will take advantage of girls, but there’s just as many who do look out for girls and want to make sure their okay. I wish the book would’ve shown men in a more positive light as well.
_karinaiello_'s review against another edition
informative
fast-paced
3.0
I think the point of the book was good and important and may have been more impactful for others who are maybe coming out of a more conservative mindset/lifestyle. For me, I skimmed a lot because it was just rehashing a lot of stories and statistics I am already aware of. I don't honestly feel like I learned anything I didn't already know or experience.
The author allows too much of her own bias in from chapter one. There is some transphobia in chapter 5 and xenophobia in chapter 6. Nothing "big" just a couple of comments that honestly could have been edited out and wouldn't have affected the book at all.
The author allows too much of her own bias in from chapter one. There is some transphobia in chapter 5 and xenophobia in chapter 6. Nothing "big" just a couple of comments that honestly could have been edited out and wouldn't have affected the book at all.
timna_wyckoff's review against another edition
4.0
Really important stuff! Pretty anecdotal, but well-written and thought-provoking.
tophat8855's review against another edition
4.0
As with any book that refers to cultural touchpoints, it seems dated already. But yes, absolutely talk to you kids frankly about sex, about consent, and that even sex between teens should be pleasurable and not full of regrets. Listened via hoopla.
qnawal97's review against another edition
4.0
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this, especially being someone who works in the sex education field! All the chapters were thought-provoking and provided much needed insight into the intimate lives of young women. It made me reflect often on how I want to be as a parent to my own non-existent kids in the future which is always great food for thought. I feel like this is not only an important read for young girls, girl parents but also for young men to understand and learn from as well.
librarydosebykristy's review against another edition
4.0
This book was a lot to take in. Initially it made me so anxious and sad and angry and really really terrified as the mother of a tween daughter and a teen son. There is quite the onslaught of information and statistics throughout the book — it reads as a sort of volley between upsetting statistics and interviews with girls and young women about their experiences, mostly in college. If I had college age kids right now I would probably hyperventilate from reading this.
That said— I am glad I read it. I wish with every fiber of my being that my kids could have comprehensive sex education in school and that the messages could be reinforced in society and by the government (see : the Dutch model of sex Ed). Because seriously: do not buy into the delusion that you can stop teens from exploring their sexuality. It’s gonna happen whether you want to think about it or not. And the best thing we can do for them is teach equality of experience between the sexes (girls- is it not your job to “please” a boy), and to empower young people, especially women, to express their feelings about what they want and what they don’t want. Also: do you really want what you think you want or has society taught that you should want that (
That said— I am glad I read it. I wish with every fiber of my being that my kids could have comprehensive sex education in school and that the messages could be reinforced in society and by the government (see : the Dutch model of sex Ed). Because seriously: do not buy into the delusion that you can stop teens from exploring their sexuality. It’s gonna happen whether you want to think about it or not. And the best thing we can do for them is teach equality of experience between the sexes (girls- is it not your job to “please” a boy), and to empower young people, especially women, to express their feelings about what they want and what they don’t want. Also: do you really want what you think you want or has society taught that you should want that (