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jm_sully's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
Just so much great advice on how to receive and act on feedback. Super practical and I’ve already felt the benefits of implementing some of their techniques.
I see some people didn’t like all the examples, but I thought they were great.
Can definitely see rereading this in a year or two!
I see some people didn’t like all the examples, but I thought they were great.
Can definitely see rereading this in a year or two!
minhuitstella's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
I pushed this book up my TBR list as soon as I heard about it. I see myself as someone who loves to learn, but I am defensive for any feedback given. These two aspects of my personality do not coincide well. I think the authors do an excellent job of showing the growth and learning sides of feedback, and they even summarized and used the information from Dweck’s growth mindset studies well. The last couple of chapters were more about implementation. I am hoping that these highlights showing up in my Readwise feed will be excellent reminders to keep my mind open.
thegreenbean's review against another edition
2.0
Want to go into middle management? This is the book for you.
mellygraph's review against another edition
5.0
I enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would. The authors have great examples for every point they make; I didn't feel that I was just hearing generic advice or empty words of no value. I found the book thought-provoking and insightful. Recommended for anyone who's interested in learning more about communication in general.
jaypeabee's review against another edition
3.0
It's not the most compelling topic, some of the advice is on the obvious side and at times they belabor their points. However, I had a few moments where a light bulb went on from the wisdom in the book.
dmlb's review against another edition
4.0
Types of feedback
- Coaching
- Evaluation
- Appreciation
Ask for clarification on the feedback
- People use labels and to understand what they really mean confirm you’re talking about the same thing
- Separate topics and give them each discussion
- Look at how systems, roles, and temperament play a role
For stories about yourself, you "get what you google”.
If you google dictators you’ll get millions of results, but that doesn’t mean everyone is a dictator or every country is run by one. Nor does it mean there are no dictators in existence.
When you think badly of yourself you’re essentially googling in your mind and getting results for those search terms. So when you search yourself for bad, you will get results for those queries, not also the things you’ve done good. Notice this cognitive distortion to bring into balance.
Handle your Catastrophizing
Make list of what it is and is not about
Example: got turned down for job, you think "I’ll never get job I want, I’m a failure"
What it is About
- That position
- That company
What it is Not about
- Your entire future
- Your entire success
- Every Position
- Every Company
If you can see humour in it you are gaining perspective
Being able to laugh at yourself means you’re ready for feedback and aren’t so attached to your identity
People's views are input not imprint.
If your kid comes home crying someone called him stupid don’t tell them they’re not, that’s just asking them to choose between your story and the bully’s story. Help them find their own story in which to stand, help them think through the actual evidence, what might be going on with the other kid and what is actually true. If they can see for themselves that they're not stupid then they’ll see that someone else saying so doesn’t make it so. Don’t dismiss other people’s views of you, but don’t accept them wholesale either.
Growth mindset over fixed
Focus on tangible effort over perceived intelligence
Learning is the goal, not identity/ego boost/confirmation
About how you hold what you get as feedback
Try out feedback. Make it an experiment, experiments are allowed to fail.
Things can have J shape trajectory.
You’ll get worse and feel worse before getting better and feeling better.
emilka_22's review against another edition
3.0
The book has a lot of good points about receiving feedback since, truthfully, most people SUCK at giving it and one needs to be able to look past that in order for the conversation to be at least somewhat productive.
It also offers suggestions about giving feedback and, more importantly, setting boundaries when the feedback is not welcome (in the moment or ever).
All that said, it was both overwhelming and underwhelming; too many scenarios, too many details, not that many new concepts or interesting insights. Sometimes it felt repetitive.
All in all an insightful read for all, but you have been warned :)
It also offers suggestions about giving feedback and, more importantly, setting boundaries when the feedback is not welcome (in the moment or ever).
All that said, it was both overwhelming and underwhelming; too many scenarios, too many details, not that many new concepts or interesting insights. Sometimes it felt repetitive.
All in all an insightful read for all, but you have been warned :)
tenpiecelemonpepper's review against another edition
3.0
i only read it because i had to read it for work. whatever.