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mangofandango's review
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
3.0
I have mixed feelings about this one! I signed up for one thing and got sort of another, and I think that was intentional but it was less fun than I imagined it would be. Like, I expected dark, sexy gay thriller, and what it actually is is...dark, grim, sort of mysterious but not quite a thriller, not so much consensually sexy sex but definitely full of many rape scenes, with a main character that seems more like a symbol than an actual character somehow.
I read the discussion guide in the back because I found I finished the book somewhat unclear as to the author's intentions here. Like, it's a story about an ex-evangelical who was forced into conversion therapy, it's got lots of "you deserve this sexual assault, rape and abuse because you're gay" stuff going on because of that, it's trauma after trauma, and the specter of evangelicalism doesn't ever really leave - it gets a kinder re-brand toward the end. So I honestly couldn't tell if this book was operating on stereotypes, playing into some of the poison it represents, or intended to be an exploration of the ways spiritual, sexual, and emotional abuse plays out in these contexts. The author says he was trying to diversify the idea behind #MeToo and bring gay voices and an imperfect victim into it, so it's more the latter, but I didn't find that it was a very strong statement of anything because I couldn't quite tell which side he was on sometimes? Though now that I think about it, it is in some ways a sort of systematic way of telling the story of how someone might fall into an abusive situation, be traumatized, and find potential for healing afterwards.
Overall, I did like the book well enough and feel invested in the story. But I didn't love it. And if...any triggers around spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, rape, false reporting, relationship abuse, isolation etc etc. are an issue for you, I think you should steer clear of this one.
I read the discussion guide in the back because I found I finished the book somewhat unclear as to the author's intentions here. Like, it's a story about an ex-evangelical who was forced into conversion therapy, it's got lots of "you deserve this sexual assault, rape and abuse because you're gay" stuff going on because of that, it's trauma after trauma, and the specter of evangelicalism doesn't ever really leave - it gets a kinder re-brand toward the end. So I honestly couldn't tell if this book was operating on stereotypes, playing into some of the poison it represents, or intended to be an exploration of the ways spiritual, sexual, and emotional abuse plays out in these contexts. The author says he was trying to diversify the idea behind #MeToo and bring gay voices and an imperfect victim into it, so it's more the latter, but I didn't find that it was a very strong statement of anything because I couldn't quite tell which side he was on sometimes? Though now that I think about it, it is in some ways a sort of systematic way of telling the story of how someone might fall into an abusive situation, be traumatized, and find potential for healing afterwards.
Overall, I did like the book well enough and feel invested in the story. But I didn't love it. And if...any triggers around spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, rape, false reporting, relationship abuse, isolation etc etc. are an issue for you, I think you should steer clear of this one.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Drug use, Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Alcohol
forrestalexander's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Warning: SPOILERS
I have mixed feelings about this book. I didn't know what to expect and I like the concept, but in my opinion, it didn't follow through.
As someone else said, the book is too short to properly address the multitude of issues it presented.
The book touches on:
I have mixed feelings about this book. I didn't know what to expect and I like the concept, but in my opinion, it didn't follow through.
As someone else said, the book is too short to properly address the multitude of issues it presented.
The book touches on:
- a gay main character with unaccepting parents
- religious trauma
- conversion therapy and the resulting trauma
- domestic abuse, toxic and abusive relationships
- manipulation and general abuse
- rape, sexual assault, and casual sexual harassment
- drug abuse
- suicide, suicidal thoughts
& more. There aren't enough pages in the book to have us become invested in the characters and touch on all of the above topics and do them justice - instead, it half touches on all of them and is just busy and feels cluttered. It is trying to do too much at once.
Because it was trying to cram so much into each page, I wasn't invested in the characters and it made me care less about the story overall.
Also, coming from a queer man living in bushwick from somewhat similar circumstances, I hated the main character. He relied on everyone else and did nothing but pity and feel bad for himself instead of trying to do anything to change his life. He was selfish and self-centered, and how he acted in court destroyed the lives of others to the point of no return. How I am supposed to feel any level of empathy for him, or happiness when he finally sort of gets his shit together at the end, is beyond me.
The religious trauma was a bit trite for a gay character, and I understand the second half was supposed to set it apart from other stories with similar themes - but the second half felt forced, strange, and left me weirded out. I am still not sure what the message was supposed to be, it didn't translate.
With all of that being said, I think if a few of the themes were left out and the author focused on one or two things, it could have been great. For that reason, I have no doubt the author has potential - but I hope in his next book, it feels less crammed.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Religious bigotry, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Rape, and Sexual content
Moderate: Death, Drug use, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Drug abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual harassment, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Body shaming and Bullying
dalmavatai's review against another edition
Ah I usually don't dnf books this far into them but I'm just really not feeling this one. The idea behind the story is really solid: exploring the power dynamics between wealthy, successful, older gay men and young, aspiring, broke gay men and the exploitation and abuse that can happen within those relationships.
However, I think this book is just poorly executed. The characters and the relationships are not developed well enough for me to believe in them, and the dynamics of an abusive relationship are equally poorly written. It feels like the author read a blog post about Abuse 101 and clumsily inserted every point at random intervals throughout the story. Like, all the dynamics - Jonah gaslighting himself and his experience of abuse, Richard compensating with meaningless shopping sprees after something bad happens - feel disingenuous, insincere; I just wasn't convinced by the author that these characters and relationships are real. They feel very one-dimensional, pawns to illustrate the author's point but lacking in development and depth.
This is really my main issue with the story but I also wanted to mention that of course it's really important to shed light on how old men can coerce younger men into playing out their BDSM fantasies - but BDSM is not inherently abusive. I think Jonah's daddy issues stemming from his homophobic father and wanting to please both him and God in his deeply Christian family is really interesting and will no doubt resonate with a lot of people's experience, but I think it's important to note that wanting to be dominated in sex is not inherently 'pathological', and even if it stems from mommy/daddy issues, it's still a valid sexual preference and people can engage in BDSM and have it be a healthy dynamic (that doesn't mean that we can't or shouldn't interrogate cultural trends around daddy issues, but it does mean that we shouldn't pathologize individuals with these sexual preferences because that doesn't help anyone).
Also, if you still want to read this book, please please look into trigger warnings, this book covers very heavy subjects and all the things I listed under 'graphic' content warnings are indeed EXTREMELY graphic.
However, I think this book is just poorly executed. The characters and the relationships are not developed well enough for me to believe in them, and the dynamics of an abusive relationship are equally poorly written. It feels like the author read a blog post about Abuse 101 and clumsily inserted every point at random intervals throughout the story. Like, all the dynamics - Jonah gaslighting himself and his experience of abuse, Richard compensating with meaningless shopping sprees after something bad happens - feel disingenuous, insincere; I just wasn't convinced by the author that these characters and relationships are real. They feel very one-dimensional, pawns to illustrate the author's point but lacking in development and depth.
This is really my main issue with the story but I also wanted to mention that of course it's really important to shed light on how old men can coerce younger men into playing out their BDSM fantasies - but BDSM is not inherently abusive. I think Jonah's daddy issues stemming from his homophobic father and wanting to please both him and God in his deeply Christian family is really interesting and will no doubt resonate with a lot of people's experience, but I think it's important to note that wanting to be dominated in sex is not inherently 'pathological', and even if it stems from mommy/daddy issues, it's still a valid sexual preference and people can engage in BDSM and have it be a healthy dynamic (that doesn't mean that we can't or shouldn't interrogate cultural trends around daddy issues, but it does mean that we shouldn't pathologize individuals with these sexual preferences because that doesn't help anyone).
Also, if you still want to read this book, please please look into trigger warnings, this book covers very heavy subjects and all the things I listed under 'graphic' content warnings are indeed EXTREMELY graphic.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Abandonment, Alcohol, Confinement, Drug use, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Rape, Religious bigotry, Toxic relationship, and Violence
tessytess's review
adventurous
dark
emotional
inspiring
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Sexism, Suicide, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship
marter2001's review
dark
emotional
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Pedophilia, Homophobia, and Adult/minor relationship
Moderate: Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Sexual content, Panic attacks/disorders, Murder, Mental illness, Drug use, and Drug abuse
zookie_b's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.25
Devastating in the most perfect way. Lost .75 star because it’s hard to say I enjoyed this whole book. There were many moments where I wanted to give up due to the subject matter and trauma our characters go through but I’m glad I continued as the real artistry and insight came in the last third of the book. A hard read, sure to haunt me for a while, but one I’m glad I finished.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Grief, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Rape, Religious bigotry, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Abandonment, Addiction, Alcohol, Blood, Confinement, Fire/Fire injury, Incest, and Panic attacks/disorders
deezy's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Bullying, Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Religious bigotry, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, and Trafficking
schnurln's review
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Confinement, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Rape, Religious bigotry, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Alcohol, Drug use, Incest, and Sexual content
Minor: Eating disorder
uhhlexiconic's review
dark
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
A dark novel that carefully and thoroughly explores how the powerful can trap their victims, Yes, Daddy loses steam once it has to deal with the aftermath. The detailed horror in the first half stands stark against the sparse way the latter half explores the aftermath. A central relationship between the lead and the person his narration speaks to is also thinly drawn. Ultimately, Yes, Daddy seems far more interested in the traumatizing moments than what comes after.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Gaslighting, Religious bigotry, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Physical abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Kidnapping, Incest, and Grief
It seems strange that a book so preoccupied with Me Too often villainizes the female characters. At one point, our narrator points out the inherent misogyny in a queer film he just watched; the question seems like one that could be levied against the author as well.averyarnold's review
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
This book was a -lot- y’all.
With a title like Yes, Daddy you’d probably expect a steamy, smut filled, gay book. However, only one of those adjectives apply to this book.
I’m having a hard time deciding if I liked it and what to rate it.
Parts of the book were quick, and suspenseful, and sucked you in. But other parts were the exact opposite. It felt like I was both reading a work of fiction about the world of wealth, class, and the darkness that lies (literally) beneath those things. But also at the same time reading the journal of the author as he worked out his past and his trauma. It felt like two books in one, and only one of those were a book I should have been reading.
The scenes at the Hamptons, which was maybe 1/3 of the book?, had a nice steady descent into darkness and misery. It felt well paced, even if it was deeply uncomfortable to read, which was obviously the point. However, the way in which the MC was able to escape felt very unlikely. Not that really anything up to that point felt super realistic, but if these men were going to such lengths to keep these boys on the property….one of them would have at least followed the two to the hospital.
It was the last half of the book that…is where I’m struggling to nail down my feelings. The last half, or maybe 1/3rd of the book was dedicated to Jonah’s healing and overcoming his trauma. Which is good and necessary, obviously. And from the POV of the writer, I understand that it’s important to bring the reader back down to a somewhat neutral level after slowing building up the tension and discomfort. Plot structure and all of that, I get it.
But my problems are really with two things:
1- We took a very hard left into religion. Which I understand, as someone who grew up southern baptist, I understand the trauma of being gay in that scenario and the going back to God when times get really bad. I truly understand. And especially someone with the trauma inflicted on him by Christianity, I understand the longing to reconcile that and how, sometimes, reworking your relationship with all aspects of Christianity can help. However, I guess it was just because the book is called Yes, Daddy that I wasn’t expecting such a hard shift into religion. And then, well, the r*pe scene that ended Jonah’s new found religious healing felt very unnecessary, and then negated the entire chapter or two. The book could have been just fine without it, especially because when he starts mending his relationship with his father at the end, he also starts mending his relationship with Christianity and it could have been saved for that. But also, that moment with Matt (I think was his name) is never brought up again, at least to my memory. So it just felt like a “aha! See, Christians are bad and don’t want to help you!” sort of a thing that the author wanted to put in there.
And 2- It didn’t feel like I was reading a book. It felt, quite literally, that I was reading the inner workings of a journalists perspective of the role that social media played during the #MeToo movement. The writing just felt very different, at least to me, during the chapters involving Jonah’s new Twitter infamy. Knowing that the author was/is still a journalist/writer for media networks really added to the sense that he just needed to vent and decided to use the book as a way to do that and just forgot to make it fit into the story. Not that I think anything said during those chapters and moments wasn’t important and didn’t need to be said, the opposite, really. But it just didn’t feel like it connected to the book.
And I guess, maybe I have a third thing: I wished that the other boys that were there with Jonah were given as big of roles in the ending as Mace was. Because, those boys experienced worse pains then either Jonah or Mace (Not that trauma is a game…but they, ya know, didn’t escape and didn’t have the freedom to come and go.) I don’t remember if we were ever told how/when they got out. Nor, did the plot ever really seem to care about them after they did. The story also never seemed to care about finding out what happened to Evan. And, I get it, Jonah is working through a lot of trauma, he probably wouldn’t. I understand, but a lot of the story just -happened- to him so, it could have just been a passing headline that a body of a young man was found on the compound, or something. I wanted more closure with those boys then the author wanted to give. I understand why Mace was singled out, because of what happened at the trial and everything, so I understood that. But I just wanted Jonah to, somehow, find the emails of the other boys and reach out to them. I wanted the story to show them the same kindness and compassion Jonah and Mace were given. I know, I know: The World doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes one person is given more compassion then someone else. I know. But this is fiction. The world can be anything you want it to be. And I just wanted it to be kinder to the boys who had to endure the Hampton’s for months, and didn’t have the freedom that Mace had to come and go, or the opportunity to escape that Jonah had. I wanted them to, at least, be sent on their way somewhat happy and mended. They are in my head, so, that’s nice.
((I’m also not going to sit here and say that a lot of the ending didn’t give me major ending of Gerald’s Game vibes because…it did. Now that’s a story about sexual trauma and healing that really is 10/10 Grade A Eggland’s Best.)
And yes, some people do have a problem with the way the entire book does feel like a letter, but I didn’t mind it. In fact, I actually thought it worked well during the scenes at the Hampton’s because it added a nice level to the trauma we were reading, knowing that it was only temporary.
I know I said that the book felt very much like the author was using it to work out his feelings on certain subjects. Which is very much what I’m doing.
And while, at the end, I think we understood what the authors feelings were about certain things….this author is still very much undecided about his feelings.
Did I enjoy it? Yes.
Did it make me feel the things it wanted me to feel when it wanted me to feel them? Yes.
Did I like the characters I was supposed to like? Yes.
Did I hate the characters I was supposed to hate? Yes.
Did I like the book?
With a title like Yes, Daddy you’d probably expect a steamy, smut filled, gay book. However, only one of those adjectives apply to this book.
I’m having a hard time deciding if I liked it and what to rate it.
Parts of the book were quick, and suspenseful, and sucked you in. But other parts were the exact opposite. It felt like I was both reading a work of fiction about the world of wealth, class, and the darkness that lies (literally) beneath those things. But also at the same time reading the journal of the author as he worked out his past and his trauma. It felt like two books in one, and only one of those were a book I should have been reading.
The scenes at the Hamptons, which was maybe 1/3 of the book?, had a nice steady descent into darkness and misery. It felt well paced, even if it was deeply uncomfortable to read, which was obviously the point. However, the way in which the MC was able to escape felt very unlikely. Not that really anything up to that point felt super realistic, but if these men were going to such lengths to keep these boys on the property….one of them would have at least followed the two to the hospital.
It was the last half of the book that…is where I’m struggling to nail down my feelings. The last half, or maybe 1/3rd of the book was dedicated to Jonah’s healing and overcoming his trauma. Which is good and necessary, obviously. And from the POV of the writer, I understand that it’s important to bring the reader back down to a somewhat neutral level after slowing building up the tension and discomfort. Plot structure and all of that, I get it.
But my problems are really with two things:
1- We took a very hard left into religion. Which I understand, as someone who grew up southern baptist, I understand the trauma of being gay in that scenario and the going back to God when times get really bad. I truly understand. And especially someone with the trauma inflicted on him by Christianity, I understand the longing to reconcile that and how, sometimes, reworking your relationship with all aspects of Christianity can help. However, I guess it was just because the book is called Yes, Daddy that I wasn’t expecting such a hard shift into religion. And then, well, the r*pe scene that ended Jonah’s new found religious healing felt very unnecessary, and then negated the entire chapter or two. The book could have been just fine without it, especially because when he starts mending his relationship with his father at the end, he also starts mending his relationship with Christianity and it could have been saved for that. But also, that moment with Matt (I think was his name) is never brought up again, at least to my memory. So it just felt like a “aha! See, Christians are bad and don’t want to help you!” sort of a thing that the author wanted to put in there.
And 2- It didn’t feel like I was reading a book. It felt, quite literally, that I was reading the inner workings of a journalists perspective of the role that social media played during the #MeToo movement. The writing just felt very different, at least to me, during the chapters involving Jonah’s new Twitter infamy. Knowing that the author was/is still a journalist/writer for media networks really added to the sense that he just needed to vent and decided to use the book as a way to do that and just forgot to make it fit into the story. Not that I think anything said during those chapters and moments wasn’t important and didn’t need to be said, the opposite, really. But it just didn’t feel like it connected to the book.
And I guess, maybe I have a third thing: I wished that the other boys that were there with Jonah were given as big of roles in the ending as Mace was. Because, those boys experienced worse pains then either Jonah or Mace (Not that trauma is a game…but they, ya know, didn’t escape and didn’t have the freedom to come and go.) I don’t remember if we were ever told how/when they got out. Nor, did the plot ever really seem to care about them after they did. The story also never seemed to care about finding out what happened to Evan. And, I get it, Jonah is working through a lot of trauma, he probably wouldn’t. I understand, but a lot of the story just -happened- to him so, it could have just been a passing headline that a body of a young man was found on the compound, or something. I wanted more closure with those boys then the author wanted to give. I understand why Mace was singled out, because of what happened at the trial and everything, so I understood that. But I just wanted Jonah to, somehow, find the emails of the other boys and reach out to them. I wanted the story to show them the same kindness and compassion Jonah and Mace were given. I know, I know: The World doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes one person is given more compassion then someone else. I know. But this is fiction. The world can be anything you want it to be. And I just wanted it to be kinder to the boys who had to endure the Hampton’s for months, and didn’t have the freedom that Mace had to come and go, or the opportunity to escape that Jonah had. I wanted them to, at least, be sent on their way somewhat happy and mended. They are in my head, so, that’s nice.
((I’m also not going to sit here and say that a lot of the ending didn’t give me major ending of Gerald’s Game vibes because…it did. Now that’s a story about sexual trauma and healing that really is 10/10 Grade A Eggland’s Best.)
And yes, some people do have a problem with the way the entire book does feel like a letter, but I didn’t mind it. In fact, I actually thought it worked well during the scenes at the Hampton’s because it added a nice level to the trauma we were reading, knowing that it was only temporary.
I know I said that the book felt very much like the author was using it to work out his feelings on certain subjects. Which is very much what I’m doing.
And while, at the end, I think we understood what the authors feelings were about certain things….this author is still very much undecided about his feelings.
Did I enjoy it? Yes.
Did it make me feel the things it wanted me to feel when it wanted me to feel them? Yes.
Did I like the characters I was supposed to like? Yes.
Did I hate the characters I was supposed to hate? Yes.
Did I like the book?
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Homophobia, Adult/minor relationship, Religious bigotry, Torture, Toxic relationship, Body shaming, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Kidnapping, Grief, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Bullying, Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, and Abandonment