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gbatts's review against another edition
5.0
Really good to read in one sitting. The lack of chapters builds the mood of all-encompassing obsession. The gambling-addicts rationalising of numbers, the superstitions and omen spotting. The isolation of doing this by yourself because your friends don’t understand and the burden it places on your loved ones.
The book also shows the predatory nature of fertility clinics, like drug dealers causally chucking options in front of you. Using emotional language to suck you in. Playing down the poor odds.
One voice giving a glimpse of the silent majority who have endured failed fertility treatments.
The book also shows the predatory nature of fertility clinics, like drug dealers causally chucking options in front of you. Using emotional language to suck you in. Playing down the poor odds.
One voice giving a glimpse of the silent majority who have endured failed fertility treatments.
maedo's review against another edition
4.0
Earlier this year, during an ultrasound ordered to determine the reason for some pelvic pain, I was informed that I have a birth defect that drastically reduces the chances of being able to carry a pregnancy to term. There are different grades of the defect, some bettering the chances. But analysis of the scans showed that my defect is the worst case scenario in its extremity. A doctor was even brought into the room by the tech to confirm this, in a moment so surreal that it struck me at the time as mordantly funny.
I've thought, for a long time and for many reasons, that I don't want to have children, but the news hit me surprisingly hard. I wanted to be the one to make that choice. I wanted to allow for the possibility of meeting a wonderful man who I'd feel moved to raise a child with. It is hard to be told that something that happens so naturally for millions of women may just...not happen for you.
Julia Leigh's story is a bit different from mine, in the sense that there is no discernible cause of her infertility except her age. She's 38 when she first considers conceiving with her then-boyfriend, soon to be husband, a man she portrays as charming but who reads in this book like a big time emotional manipulator (though it's unclear what role she plays in that dynamic, if any; it could have just been a bad match). Their relationship falls apart and she begins considering IVF on her own as a single mother. But she has a hard time securing a donor and time passes.
The majority of the book, after a long opening focused on her on and off relationship, is a telling of the attempts to cultivate, fertilize, freeze and implant her eggs until the age of 44. She tries six times to do this, usually with only one or two viable eggs, and is always disappointed with the results. The financial expense is enormous. She finds out during the last attempt that of women her age doing this form of IVF, only 2.2 percent wind up with live births.
It is impossible to read this without your heart breaking for Leigh a little bit. I know adoption is an option (it's not for her, though), but she conveys very well the feeling of complete deflation that comes over time when you realize that the thing you want most will not happen in this life. She lets go of hope of a successful implantation and stops trying because it is the healthiest thing for her. But one gets the sense that she is still working through her feelings by the writing of this book.
I picked up this book because I thought that it might help to read about someone who also had to accept stacked odds and the fact that she may not have a choice in the matter when it comes to having a child. And it did help, although I wished for a bit more about how she came to terms with her future, more about the hope that comes after the loss of the dream.
I've thought, for a long time and for many reasons, that I don't want to have children, but the news hit me surprisingly hard. I wanted to be the one to make that choice. I wanted to allow for the possibility of meeting a wonderful man who I'd feel moved to raise a child with. It is hard to be told that something that happens so naturally for millions of women may just...not happen for you.
Julia Leigh's story is a bit different from mine, in the sense that there is no discernible cause of her infertility except her age. She's 38 when she first considers conceiving with her then-boyfriend, soon to be husband, a man she portrays as charming but who reads in this book like a big time emotional manipulator (though it's unclear what role she plays in that dynamic, if any; it could have just been a bad match). Their relationship falls apart and she begins considering IVF on her own as a single mother. But she has a hard time securing a donor and time passes.
The majority of the book, after a long opening focused on her on and off relationship, is a telling of the attempts to cultivate, fertilize, freeze and implant her eggs until the age of 44. She tries six times to do this, usually with only one or two viable eggs, and is always disappointed with the results. The financial expense is enormous. She finds out during the last attempt that of women her age doing this form of IVF, only 2.2 percent wind up with live births.
It is impossible to read this without your heart breaking for Leigh a little bit. I know adoption is an option (it's not for her, though), but she conveys very well the feeling of complete deflation that comes over time when you realize that the thing you want most will not happen in this life. She lets go of hope of a successful implantation and stops trying because it is the healthiest thing for her. But one gets the sense that she is still working through her feelings by the writing of this book.
I picked up this book because I thought that it might help to read about someone who also had to accept stacked odds and the fact that she may not have a choice in the matter when it comes to having a child. And it did help, although I wished for a bit more about how she came to terms with her future, more about the hope that comes after the loss of the dream.
kaydee's review against another edition
4.0
A brave, insightful and sadly essential memoir. Devoured in a sitting.
nics_books's review against another edition
3.0
3.5/5
The topic of children is one I’ve always been unsure about. For me, becoming a mother is a foreign concept and something I can’t see in my immediate future. I’ve known a lot of people celebrating their pregnancies and starting families, and I’ve even known someone who referred to themselves as a “test tube baby”. I’d known bits and pieces about IVF, but not to this extent.
I definitely feel more educated on the matter after reading this. This autobiographical journey to have a child is heartbreaking and desperate, and I’m rooting for Julia the whole time. It seems like it took such a toll on her life as a woman, a person wanting someone to care for, and honestly, I have so much sympathy for her. The countless tests, the numerous attempts at trying to implant eggs. Science was never my strong point, but I can only appreciate and sit in awe at the lengths the doctors and Julia went to help her get pregnant.
As the title suggests, this is a love story between a woman and the child she never got to have. It’s also about learning to love yourself again after a long and gruelling process, and how to fall in love with the world around you. This book was wonderfully written, flowed nicely, but I can feel her desperation every time I turned the pages. I wanted her to get what she was fighting for from the very beginning. What an amazingly strong and resilient woman she is.
I recommend this book for educational and insightful reasons into the world of IVF and elaborate medical procedures surrounding conception, but also because it’s a good book. There’s a lot of heart in it, and it’s unlike anything I’ve read before.
The topic of children is one I’ve always been unsure about. For me, becoming a mother is a foreign concept and something I can’t see in my immediate future. I’ve known a lot of people celebrating their pregnancies and starting families, and I’ve even known someone who referred to themselves as a “test tube baby”. I’d known bits and pieces about IVF, but not to this extent.
I definitely feel more educated on the matter after reading this. This autobiographical journey to have a child is heartbreaking and desperate, and I’m rooting for Julia the whole time. It seems like it took such a toll on her life as a woman, a person wanting someone to care for, and honestly, I have so much sympathy for her. The countless tests, the numerous attempts at trying to implant eggs. Science was never my strong point, but I can only appreciate and sit in awe at the lengths the doctors and Julia went to help her get pregnant.
As the title suggests, this is a love story between a woman and the child she never got to have. It’s also about learning to love yourself again after a long and gruelling process, and how to fall in love with the world around you. This book was wonderfully written, flowed nicely, but I can feel her desperation every time I turned the pages. I wanted her to get what she was fighting for from the very beginning. What an amazingly strong and resilient woman she is.
I recommend this book for educational and insightful reasons into the world of IVF and elaborate medical procedures surrounding conception, but also because it’s a good book. There’s a lot of heart in it, and it’s unlike anything I’ve read before.
earlgreybooks's review against another edition
4.0
Originally reviewed at Tea & Titles
And so begins my quest to read through the Stella Prize 2017 longlist.
If you haven’t already, I suggest going over to look at my pre-reading thoughts post so you can learn more about the prize, and my thoughts, obviously.
I mentioned in that post that I don’t know a whole lot about IVF. I’m only 21 right now, and my goals for the next 5 or so years don’t include children at all. I don’t know anyone who went through IVF, or read anything about it at all. It’s just one of those areas that I am completely unknowledgeable about. I knew it was a difficult process and taxing on the body and mind, but I didn’t realise how much it really took until I read this.
Avalanche is the story of Julia Leigh’s own experience with IVF treatment. She tells the story with honesty, and I could feel my heart breaking for her with every page. There were so many times I wished that everything would go right for her, and every time it didn’t I felt her pain. The fact Julia Leigh managed that when I have absolutely no similar experience should clue you in as to how heartbreaking this book is. I’m not a big memoir fan, but the Stella Prize always makes me feel like I should be.
One thing I did really connect to was when Julia had to start injecting herself. She only had to do it once a day, but her description of attaching the needle to the pen, injecting herself in her stomach and putting the needle into the sharps container is the closest I’ve been so far to seeing myself in a book. I inject four times a day with my diabetes, but I go through the same process. Maybe it’s a little strange, but that really helped me connect to this book.
All in all, I would definitely recommend Avalanche and I’m eager to see whether this makes the shortlist or not. Remember to keep checking back for more reviews of the Stella Prize longlist books!
And so begins my quest to read through the Stella Prize 2017 longlist.
If you haven’t already, I suggest going over to look at my pre-reading thoughts post so you can learn more about the prize, and my thoughts, obviously.
I mentioned in that post that I don’t know a whole lot about IVF. I’m only 21 right now, and my goals for the next 5 or so years don’t include children at all. I don’t know anyone who went through IVF, or read anything about it at all. It’s just one of those areas that I am completely unknowledgeable about. I knew it was a difficult process and taxing on the body and mind, but I didn’t realise how much it really took until I read this.
Avalanche is the story of Julia Leigh’s own experience with IVF treatment. She tells the story with honesty, and I could feel my heart breaking for her with every page. There were so many times I wished that everything would go right for her, and every time it didn’t I felt her pain. The fact Julia Leigh managed that when I have absolutely no similar experience should clue you in as to how heartbreaking this book is. I’m not a big memoir fan, but the Stella Prize always makes me feel like I should be.
One thing I did really connect to was when Julia had to start injecting herself. She only had to do it once a day, but her description of attaching the needle to the pen, injecting herself in her stomach and putting the needle into the sharps container is the closest I’ve been so far to seeing myself in a book. I inject four times a day with my diabetes, but I go through the same process. Maybe it’s a little strange, but that really helped me connect to this book.
All in all, I would definitely recommend Avalanche and I’m eager to see whether this makes the shortlist or not. Remember to keep checking back for more reviews of the Stella Prize longlist books!
nilatti's review against another edition
5.0
This book was extraordinary. So brave, so honest. I read it in one sitting, I couldn't put it down. What a gorgeous (and yet unsentimental) reflection.
loribeth1961's review against another edition
4.0
I am always up for a good "repro-lit" read -- especially when it reflects my own story (i.e., it doesn't end with a baby). "Avalanche" is not a long book -- 133 pages -- but it packs a powerful punch. Reading it brought back a flood of memories from my own days in fertility treatment -- not all of them good. It could be a difficult read, depending on where you are in your own infertility journey.
Leigh was 38 when she met, fell in love with and married Paul (they had actually met years earlier, then reconnected). The vision of Our Child (in capitals and italics) took hold in Leigh's mind, and quickly became all-consuming. Right from the start, however, there were challenges: besides Leigh's advancing age, there was also the obstacle of Paul's vasectomy. When a reversal was unsuccessful, he underwent a surgical procedure to retrieve and freeze his sperm. Before they got to use it, though, the marriage fell apart.
Leigh decided to try for motherhood on her own. Her ex refused to let her use his frozen sperm, so (while mourning the loss of Our Child, the child she had envisioned) she began the search for another donor. She finally found one, a willing male friend, when she was 42, and over the next two years, embarked on a series of assisted reproductive technologies (ARTs), including egg retrieval and freezing, fresh and frozen embryo transfers, ICSI, IUIs and various "add ons" that Leigh's doctor suggested might (might! -- or might not... "It's up to you...") improve her odds of success ("embryo glue," anyone?). She toyed with -- and rejected -- the idea of using a donor egg. Her sister offered to carry a baby for her. The treatments took a rising toll on her physical, emotional and financial well-being, until she finally reached the point where she knew she could not continue.
Reading "Avalanche" brought back a flood of memories for me, from the endless number of carrots offered that keep fertility patients coming back for more, right down to noticing the doctor's expensive car parked outside the clinic. From an emotional perspective, it's not an easy read (although it's beautifully written), but based on my own (far more limited) ART experiences, I think it's a pretty accurate one. It's something of a cautionary tale -- but it would be worthwhile reading for anyone thinking of embarking on ARTs, as well as anyone (including family & friends) who wants to know what women go through when they attempt ARTs. People -- and I include my pre-treatment self among them -- often assume that "oh well, you/we can always do fertility treatments" without realizing exactly what that is going to involve -- that it's a slippery slope, that you'll find yourself crossing lines and doing things that you never imagined existed in the first place -- and (especially) that all your time, money, pain and effort will not necessarily result in a take-home baby. The mind-numbing litany of details contained in "Avalanche" might be shocking to the uninitiated -- but they also confirm to those of us who went through it (or something like it) that yes, this IS a Very Big Deal and not something that should be entered into lightly.
My main issue with the book, if I can call it that, is it left me wanting more. Leigh wrote the book shortly after she abandoned fertility treatments (which might account, in part, for its raw tone and vivid descriptions). I am hoping for a sequel, or an epilogue to any future editions, because I would like to know how she is doing and how her life has unfolded since then. Four stars.
Leigh was 38 when she met, fell in love with and married Paul (they had actually met years earlier, then reconnected). The vision of Our Child (in capitals and italics) took hold in Leigh's mind, and quickly became all-consuming. Right from the start, however, there were challenges: besides Leigh's advancing age, there was also the obstacle of Paul's vasectomy. When a reversal was unsuccessful, he underwent a surgical procedure to retrieve and freeze his sperm. Before they got to use it, though, the marriage fell apart.
Leigh decided to try for motherhood on her own. Her ex refused to let her use his frozen sperm, so (while mourning the loss of Our Child, the child she had envisioned) she began the search for another donor. She finally found one, a willing male friend, when she was 42, and over the next two years, embarked on a series of assisted reproductive technologies (ARTs), including egg retrieval and freezing, fresh and frozen embryo transfers, ICSI, IUIs and various "add ons" that Leigh's doctor suggested might (might! -- or might not... "It's up to you...") improve her odds of success ("embryo glue," anyone?). She toyed with -- and rejected -- the idea of using a donor egg. Her sister offered to carry a baby for her. The treatments took a rising toll on her physical, emotional and financial well-being, until she finally reached the point where she knew she could not continue.
Reading "Avalanche" brought back a flood of memories for me, from the endless number of carrots offered that keep fertility patients coming back for more, right down to noticing the doctor's expensive car parked outside the clinic. From an emotional perspective, it's not an easy read (although it's beautifully written), but based on my own (far more limited) ART experiences, I think it's a pretty accurate one. It's something of a cautionary tale -- but it would be worthwhile reading for anyone thinking of embarking on ARTs, as well as anyone (including family & friends) who wants to know what women go through when they attempt ARTs. People -- and I include my pre-treatment self among them -- often assume that "oh well, you/we can always do fertility treatments" without realizing exactly what that is going to involve -- that it's a slippery slope, that you'll find yourself crossing lines and doing things that you never imagined existed in the first place -- and (especially) that all your time, money, pain and effort will not necessarily result in a take-home baby. The mind-numbing litany of details contained in "Avalanche" might be shocking to the uninitiated -- but they also confirm to those of us who went through it (or something like it) that yes, this IS a Very Big Deal and not something that should be entered into lightly.
My main issue with the book, if I can call it that, is it left me wanting more. Leigh wrote the book shortly after she abandoned fertility treatments (which might account, in part, for its raw tone and vivid descriptions). I am hoping for a sequel, or an epilogue to any future editions, because I would like to know how she is doing and how her life has unfolded since then. Four stars.
catng's review against another edition
4.0
For the most part, I related to all the emotions and yearning in the book, but the author and I have different personalities/perspectives so some things were jarring. Still, a much needed perspective on the infertility and IVF struggle.