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3.99 AVERAGE
3.99 AVERAGE
Enjoyed learning more about the 5 love languages through the many stories the author shared. It’s always good to learn more about how to love your partner well and how your partner can better love you.
This book taught me so much! I am so grateful to have read something so clear and concise to help me explore the way I show and receive love.
My review of this book needs to be prefaced by Dr. Chapman's own words: "I have not written this book as an academic treatise to be stored in the libraries of colleges and universities, although I hope that professors of sociology and psychology will find it helpful in courses on marriage and family life. I have written not to those who are studying marriage but to those who are married, to those who have experienced the "in-love" euphoria, who entered marriage with lofty dreams of making each other supremely happy but in the reality of day-to-day life are in danger of losing that dream entirely."
I'm a college student who has never been married. That said, I found this book to be accessible and truthful. As an academic text, it is too simplistic and repetitive, and includes overdone dialogues. However, like the author says explicitly, this is not meant to be an academic text. For its purpose, I think this is an incredible read for everyone to be more thoughtful about their relationships. Being aware of the languages will help you act on them in your romantic relationships, friendships, and familial relationships alike.
I'm a college student who has never been married. That said, I found this book to be accessible and truthful. As an academic text, it is too simplistic and repetitive, and includes overdone dialogues. However, like the author says explicitly, this is not meant to be an academic text. For its purpose, I think this is an incredible read for everyone to be more thoughtful about their relationships. Being aware of the languages will help you act on them in your romantic relationships, friendships, and familial relationships alike.
Read this for therapy and my therapist warned that there were a lot of Christian references but WOW, I did not realize how religious this book was! I love these thoughts on love languages but would love a book that isn’t as religious (some of the examples are, ahem, behind the times).
informative
reflective
medium-paced
I would have given this book more stars if it hadn’t been for the delivery. The message is great. It was really insightful to hear that the way you love a partner is probably indicative of your love language. It seems like common sense, but I hadn’t quite had that light go off in my head until it was spelled out for me. The problem with this book is that it is beyond cheesy and each story wraps itself up a little too tidily. The author gives the impression that this method will work for every couple and I’m not sure that’s true. Each person must be willing to make the effort and sometimes that effort isn’t reciprocated from one. The way he gives dialogue, too, was gag worthy. I don’t know any couple who speaks to each other the way he claims these couples do. I mean, come on, get real. I do think learning how to identify your spouses and your own love language can make a world of difference in your marriage if you both want it to.
informative
slow-paced
The concept seems good in theory, but I wish there was more data to back up its efficacy. Everyone desires to have love expressed to them, and the modality doesn’t appear to matter as long as love is being expressed. I would like there to be good peer-reviewed data on this. Additionally, it could be argued that this kind of view on love could lead to a fixed mindset, making you primarily focus on the love language you and your partner predominantly hold. Instead, you could adopt a growth mindset and work on expressing love not only in the manner described in the 5 Love Languages but also in other possible ways that aren’t described in the book.
I’m not convinced that we all have a single primary love language.
I struggle with rating this book anything more than one star because it is extremely heteronormative, misogynistic, and religiously restrictive. However, I think that these issues are the result of its author, rather than the ideas in the book. The concepts presented in this book, once I shook off their disgusting patriarchal rhetoric, were sound and Truthful. I honestly believe that Chapman discovered a fundamental aspect of love, which is a tremendous feat. When I got to the chapter which talked about my primary love language, I literally burst into tears and could not stop sobbing. For the first time in my life, I understood what love I craved most from the people in my life and, most importantly, I felt validated in that desire, like it was okay to want and ask for those things. I wasn't a freak. I was just speaking a love language that society tells me not to speak. Finishing this book was the first step in my ongoing journey towards transcending this societal expectation.
Here's the truth: I am a young woman, but my primary love language is Physical Touch. In Chapman's book, almost every example of couples shows a woman whose language is Acts of Service and a man whose language is Physical Touch. While the world around me, and even this book, told me that I shouldn't want physical affection as much as I do, the chapter on Physical Touch was like someone reaching out to tell me that it's okay to be who I am. My understanding of myself burst open and I felt like I was given permission to be who I am and love how I love. I am disappointed that so many of Chapman's own biases and clear stereotypes are included in this book, but it still helped me. If this book can help just one more person to accept themselves and ask for love in their primary language, then it is worth it to share my story in this review.
A few words of advice: Supplement this book with additional interpretations online and discussions with your significant other. Not everything Chapman says is good or right, but his theory can possibly open a door to other interpretations which work better for you than the opinions touted in the book.
Recommended, but with reservations.
Here's the truth: I am a young woman, but my primary love language is Physical Touch. In Chapman's book, almost every example of couples shows a woman whose language is Acts of Service and a man whose language is Physical Touch. While the world around me, and even this book, told me that I shouldn't want physical affection as much as I do, the chapter on Physical Touch was like someone reaching out to tell me that it's okay to be who I am. My understanding of myself burst open and I felt like I was given permission to be who I am and love how I love. I am disappointed that so many of Chapman's own biases and clear stereotypes are included in this book, but it still helped me. If this book can help just one more person to accept themselves and ask for love in their primary language, then it is worth it to share my story in this review.
A few words of advice: Supplement this book with additional interpretations online and discussions with your significant other. Not everything Chapman says is good or right, but his theory can possibly open a door to other interpretations which work better for you than the opinions touted in the book.
Recommended, but with reservations.