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3.99 AVERAGE
3.99 AVERAGE
I’m not convinced that we all have a single primary love language.
I struggle with rating this book anything more than one star because it is extremely heteronormative, misogynistic, and religiously restrictive. However, I think that these issues are the result of its author, rather than the ideas in the book. The concepts presented in this book, once I shook off their disgusting patriarchal rhetoric, were sound and Truthful. I honestly believe that Chapman discovered a fundamental aspect of love, which is a tremendous feat. When I got to the chapter which talked about my primary love language, I literally burst into tears and could not stop sobbing. For the first time in my life, I understood what love I craved most from the people in my life and, most importantly, I felt validated in that desire, like it was okay to want and ask for those things. I wasn't a freak. I was just speaking a love language that society tells me not to speak. Finishing this book was the first step in my ongoing journey towards transcending this societal expectation.
Here's the truth: I am a young woman, but my primary love language is Physical Touch. In Chapman's book, almost every example of couples shows a woman whose language is Acts of Service and a man whose language is Physical Touch. While the world around me, and even this book, told me that I shouldn't want physical affection as much as I do, the chapter on Physical Touch was like someone reaching out to tell me that it's okay to be who I am. My understanding of myself burst open and I felt like I was given permission to be who I am and love how I love. I am disappointed that so many of Chapman's own biases and clear stereotypes are included in this book, but it still helped me. If this book can help just one more person to accept themselves and ask for love in their primary language, then it is worth it to share my story in this review.
A few words of advice: Supplement this book with additional interpretations online and discussions with your significant other. Not everything Chapman says is good or right, but his theory can possibly open a door to other interpretations which work better for you than the opinions touted in the book.
Recommended, but with reservations.
Here's the truth: I am a young woman, but my primary love language is Physical Touch. In Chapman's book, almost every example of couples shows a woman whose language is Acts of Service and a man whose language is Physical Touch. While the world around me, and even this book, told me that I shouldn't want physical affection as much as I do, the chapter on Physical Touch was like someone reaching out to tell me that it's okay to be who I am. My understanding of myself burst open and I felt like I was given permission to be who I am and love how I love. I am disappointed that so many of Chapman's own biases and clear stereotypes are included in this book, but it still helped me. If this book can help just one more person to accept themselves and ask for love in their primary language, then it is worth it to share my story in this review.
A few words of advice: Supplement this book with additional interpretations online and discussions with your significant other. Not everything Chapman says is good or right, but his theory can possibly open a door to other interpretations which work better for you than the opinions touted in the book.
Recommended, but with reservations.
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
Love the concept and think it’s very helpful to know your and your partner’s love language, but it feels a little outdated I could have done without the religion mixed into it, that’s really not my thing…
A good look at different ways people feel loved. Words of Affirmation definitely rings true for myself. Some of it is a little dated but still is relevant.
My therapist had suggested this book to me as a means to help me be more communicative about my feelings and to essentially re-learn how to show and receive love and affection through action after being in an emotionally manipulative and verbally abusive relationship for several years.
While it does have SOME decent advice for being more open, which in turn helps one be more communicative, more honest, and more loving, and a dash of helpful notes on how to allow yourself to be vulnerable, I feel like there is A LOT of cloaked misogynistic gender roles that, while reading some of the lines, had me furrowing my brow in disbelief and disappointment.
Big pass.
While it does have SOME decent advice for being more open, which in turn helps one be more communicative, more honest, and more loving, and a dash of helpful notes on how to allow yourself to be vulnerable, I feel like there is A LOT of cloaked misogynistic gender roles that, while reading some of the lines, had me furrowing my brow in disbelief and disappointment.
Big pass.
challenging
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
I read this book because it came up in conversation and since I am engaged to be married, as research for my future. I definitely like the concept of what the 5 love languages represent and it was a fun task to figure out which ones were my preference vs how my fiance felt. Even though I now know what his primary love language is, I kinda knew before that is how he showed me that he loved me. I think this book is good reading for any couple who are dating, engaged or married and I would recommend it to them. The book does have some overt religious tones, but I felt they were pretty easy to ignore overall.
I love how this book captured the importance of your spouses love languages. This book will help me speak my husband’s love language and how mine is different from his and that is OK. I will continue to hold this book to pass down as I might need a reference to help me and my husband, as we go through our marriage journey.