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timburgelape's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
3.5
I struggled with most of the book. While I know that Justin is speaking from his own experience, the “I’m not like those gays” message comes across too strong for me, even though he ends the book in a very different place. The book is still very Evangelical and while I hold very different beliefs about Scripture, I appreciate Justin holding space for gay Christians who wish to remain celibate. I also appreciate his willingness to continue the dialogue that is too difficult for some of us gay Christians to keep having.
davehershey's review against another edition
4.0
Justin Lee was called "God-boy" by the kids in school. Everyone knew him as a Jesus-fanatic, an outspoken member of the evangelical Christian community. Yet Justin had a secret: he was attracted to men. The problem was that his Southern Baptist background considered being gay a sin, or more precisely a disease to be cured of. In this book Justin tells his story and it is an important story to hear.
As I read, I could not help but recall being an adolescent, traveling through those confusing days of middle school and high school, trying to figure out your identity. What if Justin's secret had been mine? What if I was attracted to other guys, not through any choice of my own, but instead because I just was? How many other kids are out there like Justin - scared, feeling like they have nowhere to turn, moving towards hopelessness?
Justin spends a lot of time talking about his encounters with "ex-gay ministries". What he writes about such ministries is revealing. He discovered that the success stories in these ministries were not really success; the men were still attracted to men, they had just made the choice to be marry women. Justin saw first-hand how often such choices ended up damaging the families of these men, as their attractions to the same sex never went away.
Justin also spends a lot of time on the question of what makes people gay. As he came out to more people, and as he did more research, he found that the reasons given by Christians for why people are gay did not apply to him. Justin had never been abused, he had a wonderful relationship with his parents, overall he had a great upbringing. Nothing happened in his life to make him choose to be gay, he simply has always been attracted to men.
Overall, this is a well-written, thoughtful, grace-filled and challenging book. It could ruffle feathers, for Justin is still "God-boy" - an evangelical Christian strongly committed to Jesus Christ. Yet he concludes that being gay is no sin and he is open to a monogamous relationship if the right person comes along. I think whether you agree or disagree with Justin's conclusions, you ought to give him a hearing because you can't disagree with his story. Too many Christians approach issues like this as, well, as issues. It is forgotten that these "issues" are about real people with hopes and dreams, fears and flaws. Maybe if we begin to approach others as people to love and not just problems to solve we'll be a little closer to the dream of Jesus.
As I read, I could not help but recall being an adolescent, traveling through those confusing days of middle school and high school, trying to figure out your identity. What if Justin's secret had been mine? What if I was attracted to other guys, not through any choice of my own, but instead because I just was? How many other kids are out there like Justin - scared, feeling like they have nowhere to turn, moving towards hopelessness?
Justin spends a lot of time talking about his encounters with "ex-gay ministries". What he writes about such ministries is revealing. He discovered that the success stories in these ministries were not really success; the men were still attracted to men, they had just made the choice to be marry women. Justin saw first-hand how often such choices ended up damaging the families of these men, as their attractions to the same sex never went away.
Justin also spends a lot of time on the question of what makes people gay. As he came out to more people, and as he did more research, he found that the reasons given by Christians for why people are gay did not apply to him. Justin had never been abused, he had a wonderful relationship with his parents, overall he had a great upbringing. Nothing happened in his life to make him choose to be gay, he simply has always been attracted to men.
Overall, this is a well-written, thoughtful, grace-filled and challenging book. It could ruffle feathers, for Justin is still "God-boy" - an evangelical Christian strongly committed to Jesus Christ. Yet he concludes that being gay is no sin and he is open to a monogamous relationship if the right person comes along. I think whether you agree or disagree with Justin's conclusions, you ought to give him a hearing because you can't disagree with his story. Too many Christians approach issues like this as, well, as issues. It is forgotten that these "issues" are about real people with hopes and dreams, fears and flaws. Maybe if we begin to approach others as people to love and not just problems to solve we'll be a little closer to the dream of Jesus.
addelalauren's review against another edition
4.0
Wish I could hand out copies of this book to every evangelical I know. Incredibly accessible and clearly spells out why the church's treatment of LGBTQ+ folks has so broadly missed the mark, and why we all need to advocate for full inclusion, better dialogue/education, and loving acceptance within our own churches and the greater Christian community at large. Grateful for Lee and others like him who continue to speak out on this subject.
shelfreflectionofficial's review against another edition
2.0
I think this is a valuable read (if read as a memoir) to hear Justin's story and to truly understand the hearts behind people who are gay Christians. However, although it does rightly to inspire our compassion, I would not recommend it for any theological content regarding homosexuality.
He is right to say that the church does not do enough to show people who are gay that they are not any lesser of a person and that God does not love them any less than the next heterosexual Christian. I can agree that the church has mishandled these situations and will, unfortunately, probably continue to do so. So I respect his call to the Church to show more compassion and thoughtfulness to people who are gay.
That being said, I would probably only recommend the first half of this book. As he claims to study the passages in the Bible that talk about homosexuality, he mishandles Scripture and comes to a conclusion that is not Biblical. He claims his studies led him to believe that God's words do not condemn same-sex committed relationships. However, he does not cite any of these commentaries or extra-Biblical texts or books to support this theory. Other scholars, more educated than he (as he even disclaimers of himself in his book) read the same passages and study them as well and come up with the same belief that has been held by Christians for many years. I can point to Wayne Grudem as one of these scholars that I feel has a better handle on interpreting Scripture and does not agree with Justin.
I think additionally to his misled conclusions, I was a bit turned off by his writing in general. To me, he came across a bit arrogant. He made it seem as if he were a one-of-a-kind gay Christian that no one could truly identify with, gay or otherwise, and that no one truly sought the same answers in the same way as him. He wrote that he basically believed it was his calling to single-handedly correct the Church as a whole from the error of their ways. That somehow he stumbled upon a completely unique interpretation so earth-shattering and central to his story that he was responsible for changing the world.
Though 'Gospel' was in the title of his book, I do not feel as if it was even mentioned in the book at all. All people are born with internal struggles and harmful or unnatural desires- it was not God's original design, but we are all born with the intent towards sin. But we don't have to be defined but those struggles or desires. Christ died and rose, breaking the chains of our sinful natures so we can live in freedom. It was clear in Justin's story that the title of 'gay Christian' was very important to him. He didn't feel truly known unless people knew him as such. I don't think Justin is ever going to feel truly loved, cared for, or understood, no matter what he believes the Bible teaches about homosexuality, until he stops defining himself as gay and starts letting freedom in Christ be his identity. That is what the gospel message is. And sadly, he didn't portray that in his book anywhere. That is the cause for my two-star rating.
For better theology, I would recommend Kevin DeYoung's book: "What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality?"
He is right to say that the church does not do enough to show people who are gay that they are not any lesser of a person and that God does not love them any less than the next heterosexual Christian. I can agree that the church has mishandled these situations and will, unfortunately, probably continue to do so. So I respect his call to the Church to show more compassion and thoughtfulness to people who are gay.
That being said, I would probably only recommend the first half of this book. As he claims to study the passages in the Bible that talk about homosexuality, he mishandles Scripture and comes to a conclusion that is not Biblical. He claims his studies led him to believe that God's words do not condemn same-sex committed relationships. However, he does not cite any of these commentaries or extra-Biblical texts or books to support this theory. Other scholars, more educated than he (as he even disclaimers of himself in his book) read the same passages and study them as well and come up with the same belief that has been held by Christians for many years. I can point to Wayne Grudem as one of these scholars that I feel has a better handle on interpreting Scripture and does not agree with Justin.
I think additionally to his misled conclusions, I was a bit turned off by his writing in general. To me, he came across a bit arrogant. He made it seem as if he were a one-of-a-kind gay Christian that no one could truly identify with, gay or otherwise, and that no one truly sought the same answers in the same way as him. He wrote that he basically believed it was his calling to single-handedly correct the Church as a whole from the error of their ways. That somehow he stumbled upon a completely unique interpretation so earth-shattering and central to his story that he was responsible for changing the world.
Though 'Gospel' was in the title of his book, I do not feel as if it was even mentioned in the book at all. All people are born with internal struggles and harmful or unnatural desires- it was not God's original design, but we are all born with the intent towards sin. But we don't have to be defined but those struggles or desires. Christ died and rose, breaking the chains of our sinful natures so we can live in freedom. It was clear in Justin's story that the title of 'gay Christian' was very important to him. He didn't feel truly known unless people knew him as such. I don't think Justin is ever going to feel truly loved, cared for, or understood, no matter what he believes the Bible teaches about homosexuality, until he stops defining himself as gay and starts letting freedom in Christ be his identity. That is what the gospel message is. And sadly, he didn't portray that in his book anywhere. That is the cause for my two-star rating.
For better theology, I would recommend Kevin DeYoung's book: "What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality?"
greengaybles's review against another edition
3.0
I enjoyed this book well enough, but I’m not exactly its target audience, although I am a gay Christian. I’m already firmly on the side of lgbtq affirmation and acceptance, unshakable in my belief that there’s nothing wrong with it and that God created us the way we are and rejoices in our existence, and that he doesn’t want us to reject what is integral to who we are. So I didn’t need convincing of either side’s position. Justin’s writing is clear and easy to understand, and he does a very good job of empathizing with both gay people and more conservative evangelical Christians, having been a member of both groups and intimately understanding where they’re coming from.
The reason I only gave it 3 stars is that it’s too moderate for me. I understand what it’s trying to do in appealing to both sides of the argument and seeking to bridge the divide and get both sides talking, and I think it probably has enormous value to those it’s speaking to. I just personally wanted it to go further, to clearly call out the wrongness and harm on the evangelical side and to take a harder stance on behalf of gay people, and I kept reading it thinking, come on, Justin, you’re almost there. I fully acknowledge that this is a personal quibble and that if it had done what I wanted it to, it wouldn’t be an effective tool for its stated purpose.
The reason I only gave it 3 stars is that it’s too moderate for me. I understand what it’s trying to do in appealing to both sides of the argument and seeking to bridge the divide and get both sides talking, and I think it probably has enormous value to those it’s speaking to. I just personally wanted it to go further, to clearly call out the wrongness and harm on the evangelical side and to take a harder stance on behalf of gay people, and I kept reading it thinking, come on, Justin, you’re almost there. I fully acknowledge that this is a personal quibble and that if it had done what I wanted it to, it wouldn’t be an effective tool for its stated purpose.
amberinhonduras's review against another edition
5.0
This book REALLY opened my eyes to my own pre-judgements and allowed me to create the bridge between the hard lines of my youth and the love callings of my heart. It doesn't offer any easy answers but shows one man's journey to reconciling his reality with his faith. I HIGHLY recommend anyone struggling with a faith culture of blanket rejection read this honest and insightful book.
introspectiv's review
challenging
inspiring
reflective
4.0
I have huge respect towards Justin for not giving up on his faith, despite being hurt and traumatized by the church again and again. I respect him for writing this book and sharing his story. I think it's a great bridge indeed to help straight Christians understand just what exactly are we going through, and what they mustn't do. I also like his bravery for calling out the LGBT+ community, such as the things they can say/do that also repulse Christians from understanding us (e.g., disregarding the Bible altogether when this represents the Christians' value systems). We tend to do this from a place of hurt, but our words and actions are not justified as well. Overall, I appreciate the effort of dissolving the 'culture war' between the gays and Christians.
I always felt like I had to choose a side. This is something I'm still unlearning, but reading this book was a great first step. I'll do my best to be patient towards others who don't have much time to process, if ever I do come out someday. I still don't see myself in a church since I don't want to risk being hurt (a waste of headspace!) and add an experience to my religious trauma, but we'll see. I appreciate Justin's advocacy to build a bridge and engage in a respectful dialogue.