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2.75k reviews for:
The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now
Meg Jay
3.93 AVERAGE
2.75k reviews for:
The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now
Meg Jay
3.93 AVERAGE
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Mix of good and bad. Some great advice, some questionable. The book does not feel complete.
This book beautifully talks about growing in life, finding love, being clear about our timelines, how we all experience FOMO and YOLO, hesitate when we have to ask for help, fail to be clear on what we want, compare ourselves with others, compromise in toxic relationships, delay important aspects of life, and face the consequences. In my opinion, everyone in their early 20s and teens must read this. For those in their late 20s, it’s still a good read. Meg doesn’t force her opinions; she simply provides a perspective on some common mistakes we make in our 20s.
Meg's writing style is so good that reading this book feels like a conversation over coffee. She uses simple words and writes in a way that even a layperson can understand, effortlessly absorbing the message. Reading this book made me question certain things and realize important aspects regarding family, career, and self.
I wrote a summary of each chapter for myself to go through multiple times. This book is like a mini Bible for the early 20s.
Meg's writing style is so good that reading this book feels like a conversation over coffee. She uses simple words and writes in a way that even a layperson can understand, effortlessly absorbing the message. Reading this book made me question certain things and realize important aspects regarding family, career, and self.
I wrote a summary of each chapter for myself to go through multiple times. This book is like a mini Bible for the early 20s.
hopeful
informative
fast-paced
emotional
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
informative
fast-paced
the main message was: your twenties are not timeless, so you gotta plan for your future. that is, if you want a committed romantic relationship, children and a secure white collar job. people who desire these “milestones” in life seem to be the author’s intended audience even if she doesn’t explicitly claim that. because the book’s advice largely assumes you do want these things—and if not, to have made a serious decision in your twenties about whether or not you want them.
anyway, this was a good slap to the face that i won’t be at my current age forever, but it’s also pretty heteronormative and likely speaks to audiences who worry about following the status quo in a western/westernised society. the clients the author (as a psychologist) used as examples are also typically privileged enough to enter university, secure housing, pay for therapy, etc. so that’s something to keep in mind.
still, i’d recommend at least one read-through of this book so you can form your own opinions, especially since it’s a quick read. how relevant the advice is probably depends on your specific circumstances.
anyway, this was a good slap to the face that i won’t be at my current age forever, but it’s also pretty heteronormative and likely speaks to audiences who worry about following the status quo in a western/westernised society. the clients the author (as a psychologist) used as examples are also typically privileged enough to enter university, secure housing, pay for therapy, etc. so that’s something to keep in mind.
still, i’d recommend at least one read-through of this book so you can form your own opinions, especially since it’s a quick read. how relevant the advice is probably depends on your specific circumstances.
Im rather disappointed in this. I really really wanted to like it, and it came with glowing recommendations from people I respect (the most convincing being Kay Hymowitz).
I think almost anything said in this book one can find taking a basic psychology course, or talking to a therapist (or very insightful friend) once. I absolutely loathed her extreme focus on children, and making her clients feel bad for not having them earlier, or at all. the "I told you so!" rhetoric in reference to a client struggling with fertility in her mid/late thirties was absurd. I found her to be pompous and disrespectful for most of this book. all in all, the amount of times she said
"20somethings" made me want to ofi myself, she seems self righteous and focused on heteronormative viewpoints, and has some blind spots.
I enjoyed her takes on career, early relationships, and marriage.
I don't recommend this book lol