Take a photo of a barcode or cover
mkimforbes's review against another edition
5.0
Eye-opener
This a clear, compassionate workbook to help better understand what's happening in an unhealthy relationship. It put a lot of things in perspective.
This a clear, compassionate workbook to help better understand what's happening in an unhealthy relationship. It put a lot of things in perspective.
thomas_edmund's review
5.0
While I'm not the target audience for this book, I had read "why does he do that" earlier this year and found it not only hugely enlightening, but also helpful and interesting in understanding the complex dilemma/horror show of abusive relationships. So I was interested in tackling Should I Stay... to broaden my knowledge and hopefully continue to be of help to others.
In some respects Should I Stay is a more challenging read as the focus is somewhat on how people might revive and continue destructive relationships, not just identifying abuse and keeping oneself as safe as possible.
If someone is looking for a tome that contains info and red and green flags, self-healing advice but with a minimal-nonsense approach and real words this is pretty much it.
In some respects Should I Stay is a more challenging read as the focus is somewhat on how people might revive and continue destructive relationships, not just identifying abuse and keeping oneself as safe as possible.
If someone is looking for a tome that contains info and red and green flags, self-healing advice but with a minimal-nonsense approach and real words this is pretty much it.
jennbet5's review
informative
slow-paced
5.0
First time I felt seen in my marriage and it wasn't all me being a bad wife. I thought I was going crazy before this book. I thought I was a horrible human and I didn't deserve my husband. This book opened my eyes and help me start the path to get the courage to get a divorce. I couldn't stay any longer. I can only help myself and as much as I tried (and lord did I try!!) to help and change my husband, I couldn't.
If you think you are going crazy in your marriage, read this book.
If you think you are going crazy in your marriage, read this book.
dayoldtea's review against another edition
5.0
This is an invaluable resource for modeling what actual genuine change would look like in a toxic relationship -- which is a bucket of cold water to the face for women who are used to illusory promises to change from their destructive partners. The book is written very carefully to avoid the impression that the solution is to end the relationship immediately because so many women in destructive relationships are terrified of drastic change. It's also realistic about the probability that a destructive man will change (very low) and in its portrayal of the resulting relationship dynamic (years of grief and pain, but at least you didn't get divorced?).
As someone who wasn't in the target audience, it was mind-boggling to contemplate continuing to put in enormous amounts of emotional, spiritual, psychological, and actual labor to attempt to Fix A Man. To me, detaching, safety planning, investing that energy in yourself, and leaving is obviously the best move. The book moves in that direction toward the end, which is a natural progression of this process. If a woman in one of these relationships has done the earlier exercises, she probably realizes that detachment is the healthiest option for her.
As a shortcut for this whole cycle - get emotionally healthy yourself; trust red flags and leave at the first sign of serious issues; break up or divorce immediately when you encounter deal breakers.
As someone who wasn't in the target audience, it was mind-boggling to contemplate continuing to put in enormous amounts of emotional, spiritual, psychological, and actual labor to attempt to Fix A Man. To me, detaching, safety planning, investing that energy in yourself, and leaving is obviously the best move. The book moves in that direction toward the end, which is a natural progression of this process. If a woman in one of these relationships has done the earlier exercises, she probably realizes that detachment is the healthiest option for her.
As a shortcut for this whole cycle - get emotionally healthy yourself; trust red flags and leave at the first sign of serious issues; break up or divorce immediately when you encounter deal breakers.
saltypiratewench's review against another edition
When he went into strategies to test if it was really over, I realized they would be pointless bc it was definitely already over.
michellefleming33's review against another edition
3.0
This was definitely eye opening but didn’t influence me either way.
Physical copy of the book from library. It was hard because I wanted to highlight things but couldn’t.
Also didn’t want to be seen reading this book at the house so it was a covert read.
Physical copy of the book from library. It was hard because I wanted to highlight things but couldn’t.
Also didn’t want to be seen reading this book at the house so it was a covert read.
redcoatmom's review against another edition
3.0
This is a good book, however is mainly written for those in an emotionally abusive relationship. While those that abuse emotionally are narcissists, not all narcissists are abusers. This is where the book did not fit my needs.
It is well written, has great advice and has the potential to clearly help one leave an abusive relationship, however.
It is well written, has great advice and has the potential to clearly help one leave an abusive relationship, however.