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blkwwwaffle's review against another edition
Reading this memoir is equivalent to spending 5 hours on facetime listening intently to your best friend vent. This is an extremely personal memoir; so much so that at times I felt like I was invading Lara's privacy and should put the book down out of respect. That being said, I will not be rating this, but I will say that I enjoyed annotating this book.
sarahhackworththebookishlotus's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
araleith's review against another edition
I get what this book is trying to do but how it is written is super not working for me.
banksa's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Chronic illness, Mental illness, and Medical content
thelexingtonbookie's review against another edition
4.0
Conversational, brutally honest, and delightfully clever, Lara Parker dives into all her vagina problems and the research that she's done to solve them. Parker offers up a safe space for discussion and commissary on topics such as PCOS, endometriosis, other chronic issues. For those who too suffer from pesky vagina problems, it's a must read!
allysunsun's review against another edition
4.0
A super well done book highlighting the struggle women go through when it goes to getting "womens problems" diagnosed. Many women struggle for years and years to get a proper diagnosis after being brushed off by doctors. I think it's so important to have books like this so women who are going through this can relate and know that they are not in this journey alone. Thank you to Lara Parker for putting this together and sharing her story.
Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for providing me with an arc for an honest review.
Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for providing me with an arc for an honest review.
ladyofaragon's review against another edition
3.0
{2.5}
As a person living with vaginismus, I can't overstate how important I think this book is. Having conversations about these disorders is crucial. Sharing your experiences with them can be the difference between someone else choosing to give up or keep pushing.
While I applaud Lara Parker for baring her life to the entire world (well, everyone who has access to this book, anyway), I ultimately find that it reads like a rough draft. That's probably not the author's fault; my guess is that her editor fell short. The book is repetitive not just on a sentence level, but on a broader level as well; there were times when two paragraphs situated right next to one another read almost identical. Lara, with respect, I have three words for you: "Kill your darlings." As a writer myself, I know firsthand how much it can hurt to excise a sentence or passage of which you're particularly fond...but if it's not adding any new context or information, does it really need to stay?
(As another reviewer speculated, this could very well be owing to a page or word count quota from the publisher.)
I also found the overuse of metaphors and similes to be distracting. Again, having vaginismus myself, I know that explaining it to other people is a chore. This is just another thing the editor should have caught before publication.
With all that being said, I found some incredible passages in this book. It felt very good to see some of my own experiences mirrored on the page, and for that fact alone, this book has earned a place on my bookshelf.
As a person living with vaginismus, I can't overstate how important I think this book is. Having conversations about these disorders is crucial. Sharing your experiences with them can be the difference between someone else choosing to give up or keep pushing.
While I applaud Lara Parker for baring her life to the entire world (well, everyone who has access to this book, anyway), I ultimately find that it reads like a rough draft. That's probably not the author's fault; my guess is that her editor fell short. The book is repetitive not just on a sentence level, but on a broader level as well; there were times when two paragraphs situated right next to one another read almost identical. Lara, with respect, I have three words for you: "Kill your darlings." As a writer myself, I know firsthand how much it can hurt to excise a sentence or passage of which you're particularly fond...but if it's not adding any new context or information, does it really need to stay?
(As another reviewer speculated, this could very well be owing to a page or word count quota from the publisher.)
I also found the overuse of metaphors and similes to be distracting. Again, having vaginismus myself, I know that explaining it to other people is a chore. This is just another thing the editor should have caught before publication.
With all that being said, I found some incredible passages in this book. It felt very good to see some of my own experiences mirrored on the page, and for that fact alone, this book has earned a place on my bookshelf.
estheria's review against another edition
5.0
Medical particulars aside, of all the stuff I've read on the subject, this is the piece that says it all, everything I want people to know. The insanity of trying to resolve pelvic pain, the paranoia about eating and acting perfectly to prevent flares, the private torture, the grief over a lost life, the social obsolescence, all of it is here. This book was both incredibly difficult to read and incredibly cathartic. I've never felt driven to finish a book while also having to break over and over to weather it.
I feel so validated in my experience after reading this, especially in the endless battle with my behavior. I knew very well that what my pain wants me to do to keep it at a low level requires a superhuman amount of self-discipline. But when I see someone else go through the exact same struggle, I grok how stupid-hard it is. And the whole concept that people without chronic illness don't have to walk that tightrope? That if they fail to stick to a diet, they don't risk marooning themselves due to pain that literally immobilizes them??? That they get to pursue all their everyday and lifelong desires and ambitions without fighting constantly for a fundamental balance???? I don't know why I never think of it that way, but now that I have some perspective, the fact that I do as well as I do while also working and accomplishing other things seems impossible. Yet I do it. Maybe this is where self-trust begins???
Lara says she's come to grips with not behaving perfectly to avoid flares. I'm not there yet. Flares are scary, and I still heap guilt on myself every time I do something that exacerbates my pain. I'm hoping her take helps me find compassion for myself. Though honestly, the fear is a huge motivator. You really do panic just thinking about it, just like she describes.
This book is mostly tell rather than show and it can be repetitive, so I have no idea if people without chronic pain will connect with it. But it's not for others. It's for us.
I feel so validated in my experience after reading this, especially in the endless battle with my behavior. I knew very well that what my pain wants me to do to keep it at a low level requires a superhuman amount of self-discipline. But when I see someone else go through the exact same struggle, I grok how stupid-hard it is. And the whole concept that people without chronic illness don't have to walk that tightrope? That if they fail to stick to a diet, they don't risk marooning themselves due to pain that literally immobilizes them??? That they get to pursue all their everyday and lifelong desires and ambitions without fighting constantly for a fundamental balance???? I don't know why I never think of it that way, but now that I have some perspective, the fact that I do as well as I do while also working and accomplishing other things seems impossible. Yet I do it. Maybe this is where self-trust begins???
Lara says she's come to grips with not behaving perfectly to avoid flares. I'm not there yet. Flares are scary, and I still heap guilt on myself every time I do something that exacerbates my pain. I'm hoping her take helps me find compassion for myself. Though honestly, the fear is a huge motivator. You really do panic just thinking about it, just like she describes.
This book is mostly tell rather than show and it can be repetitive, so I have no idea if people without chronic pain will connect with it. But it's not for others. It's for us.
kmburba's review against another edition
4.0
Quite repetitive and one persons experience with vagina problems. But incredibly important story and the book can be a friend to those who feel alone with their chronic pain.