Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Dieser Schmerz ist nicht meiner: Wie wir uns mit dem seelischen Erbe unserer Familie aussöhnen by Mark Wolynn

2 reviews

alexirt's review against another edition

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I got 30% into this book. In the first four chapters there were some interesting concepts about nature vs nurture and epigenetics. I think some ideas were stretched too far.
  Example: after finding out about grandma’s survivors guilt one girl was no longer suicidal because she realized those were not her own feelings.
Then in chapter 5 he got way too “your parents are your life force and you won’t have mental illness anymore if you pretend and feel what caused them trauma.” I looked at a couple other reviews and they said the rest of the book minimizes the responsibility of abusers in favor of “reconnecting.” Very victim-blaming vibes. Maybe if there were more qualifiers, like discussing your grandmothers survivors guilt with her might clue you into your own feelings but it is not acceptable for adults to take out their unresolved trauma on their children. However, that was not what I read in what I got through.  There were too many broad sweeps where those who experience abuse at the hand of a parent should forgive and forget and suddenly will be “cured” of bad feelings. 
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jomick's review against another edition

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emotional reflective slow-paced

3.0

It went from interesting to heavy real fast. A lot of extreme examples of trauma. A lot of feeling like I may have ruined my children with my own stress as a mother with NO insight or instruction in how my own healing may or may not impact my living children. It’s very one note as far as focusing on finding out what happened to your ancestors and offering what they need—but no information for the future. I found it to be heavy and left wondering if it was useful at all for my specific situation. I can’t say I would recommend it.
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