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halthemonarch's review against another edition
3.0
This author guy is also my nemesis, and so are my fucking parents.
Writing Exercise #1: Investigating Your Core Complaint
Focus on a problem that’s most pressing in your life right now. It might be an issue with your health, your job, your relationship, or any issue that disrupts your sense of safety, security, or well-being.
What is the deepest issue you want to heal? Maybe it’s a problem that feels overwhelming to you. Maybe it’s a symptom or a feeling you’ve had all your life.
What do you want to see shift?
Don’t edit yourself,
Write down what feels most important to you.
Write it down as it comes to you. For example, you may carry a fear of something terrible happening to you in the future. It doesn’t matter what comes out; just keep writing.
If nothing comes, answer this one question: if the feeling or symptom or condition you have never goes away, what would you be afraid could happen to you?
Writing Exercise #2: Ten Questions that Generate Core Language
What was taking place in your life when your symptoms or problem first appeared?
What was going on right before it started?
What age were you when the symptom or problem first appeared?
Did something traumatic happen to someone in your family at a similar age?
What exactly happens in the problem?
What does it feel like in its worst moments?
What happens right before you feel this way or have the symptom?
What makes it better or worse?
What does the problem or symptom keep you from being able to do? What does it force you to do?
If the feeling or symptom were never to go away, what would be the worst thing that could happen to you?
Writing Exercise #3: Describe your Mother
My mother was…
I blame my mother for…
Writing Exercise #4: Describe your Father
My father was…
I blame my father for…
Writing Exercise #5: Describe another major life influence (partner, friend, boss)
My __ is…
I blame __ for…
Writing Exercise #6: Identifying your Core Sentence
My worst fear, the worst thing that could happen to me is…
Writing Exercise #7: Tweaking your Core Sentence
The worst thing that could happen to me is…
Writing Exercise #8: Deepening your Core Sentence
My Absolute worst fear is…
Writing Exercise #9: Constructing Your Core Language Map
Write down your core complaint. (Example: I don’t fit in. I feel like I don’t belong. I feel like I’m invisible and nobody sees me. I feel like I’m observing life, but not in it.)
Write down core descriptors about your mother and father
Write down your core sentence— your worst fear. (Example: I’ll always feel alone and left out)
Writing Exercise #10: Identifying Bridging Questions from your Core Sentence
Core Sentence:
Bridging Questions:
Writing Exercise #11: Creating Your Genogram
Using squares for males and circles for females, position the members of your family, along with the significant traumas and difficulties they experienced.
Writing Exercise #12: Making Peace with Your Family History
Write down the core language that has the greatest emotional charge or that evokes the most emotion in you when you speak it aloud.
Also, write down the traumatic event or events that are connected to this core language.
List all the people whose lives were touched by this event.
Describe what happened.
Are there any family members you feel particularly drawn to? (Do a breathing exercise here)
Visualize the family member and promise to live your life in their honor (?)
Construct your own personal language that acknowledges the unique connection you share with this person/people.
Writing Exercise #1: Investigating Your Core Complaint
Focus on a problem that’s most pressing in your life right now. It might be an issue with your health, your job, your relationship, or any issue that disrupts your sense of safety, security, or well-being.
What is the deepest issue you want to heal? Maybe it’s a problem that feels overwhelming to you. Maybe it’s a symptom or a feeling you’ve had all your life.
What do you want to see shift?
Don’t edit yourself,
Write down what feels most important to you.
Write it down as it comes to you. For example, you may carry a fear of something terrible happening to you in the future. It doesn’t matter what comes out; just keep writing.
If nothing comes, answer this one question: if the feeling or symptom or condition you have never goes away, what would you be afraid could happen to you?
Writing Exercise #2: Ten Questions that Generate Core Language
What was taking place in your life when your symptoms or problem first appeared?
What was going on right before it started?
What age were you when the symptom or problem first appeared?
Did something traumatic happen to someone in your family at a similar age?
What exactly happens in the problem?
What does it feel like in its worst moments?
What happens right before you feel this way or have the symptom?
What makes it better or worse?
What does the problem or symptom keep you from being able to do? What does it force you to do?
If the feeling or symptom were never to go away, what would be the worst thing that could happen to you?
Writing Exercise #3: Describe your Mother
My mother was…
I blame my mother for…
Writing Exercise #4: Describe your Father
My father was…
I blame my father for…
Writing Exercise #5: Describe another major life influence (partner, friend, boss)
My __ is…
I blame __ for…
Writing Exercise #6: Identifying your Core Sentence
My worst fear, the worst thing that could happen to me is…
Writing Exercise #7: Tweaking your Core Sentence
The worst thing that could happen to me is…
Writing Exercise #8: Deepening your Core Sentence
My Absolute worst fear is…
Writing Exercise #9: Constructing Your Core Language Map
Write down your core complaint. (Example: I don’t fit in. I feel like I don’t belong. I feel like I’m invisible and nobody sees me. I feel like I’m observing life, but not in it.)
Write down core descriptors about your mother and father
Write down your core sentence— your worst fear. (Example: I’ll always feel alone and left out)
Writing Exercise #10: Identifying Bridging Questions from your Core Sentence
Core Sentence:
Bridging Questions:
Writing Exercise #11: Creating Your Genogram
Using squares for males and circles for females, position the members of your family, along with the significant traumas and difficulties they experienced.
Writing Exercise #12: Making Peace with Your Family History
Write down the core language that has the greatest emotional charge or that evokes the most emotion in you when you speak it aloud.
Also, write down the traumatic event or events that are connected to this core language.
List all the people whose lives were touched by this event.
Describe what happened.
Are there any family members you feel particularly drawn to? (Do a breathing exercise here)
Visualize the family member and promise to live your life in their honor (?)
Construct your own personal language that acknowledges the unique connection you share with this person/people.
kmckeeman's review against another edition
2.0
Some interesting ideas, but overall seems pretty far-fetched.
sinyettahill's review against another edition
5.0
The most amazing book I’ve ever read. I wish I could reach it again; I’m definitely gonna past it to family members
kjersa's review against another edition
3.0
Like, 3.25 stars. There’s a lot of negative reviews on this book, and it’s understandable. Some of the language is a little insensitive at first, but I think that was the author’s attempt to relate to everyone of almost all familial backgrounds, starting with and prioritizing the people who have an ultimately good relationship with their families. Additionally, some of the “real life” examples he gave felt…not real and cheesy? With the mindset that I’m leaving what doesn’t resonate and taking what does, he has a lot of good points on carrying the plights of our family. And not just our parents, but of extended family too. Nervous energy around something like relationships can stem from something FAR back. Like something internalized by a great grand parent that was instilled via strong morals around something by your grandparents to your parent to you - and it can effect you greatly. I felt like ultimately, I enjoyed 35% of the book and was confused and/or disliked 65% of the book. But the 35% was kinda lit.
heikieesmaa's review against another edition
2.0
A stripped down version of Family Constellations with all its weaknesses but having lost much of its beauty.
cassiekayvazquez's review against another edition
2.0
Generational trauma is real. However, unfortunately , this book is all snake oil and woo. Entertaining snake oil, so it earned two stars from me instead of one.
veronican's review against another edition
1.0
Wanted to see the thesis through to the end, but ended up not agreeing with it. I struggled with agreeing that the person who was hurt by others needed to accept that "they were their parent/aunt/uncle/etc."