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drama968's review
Rewarding men’s bad behaviour and telling women they have to change to appease these bad behaviours.
lilis_books's review
informative
slow-paced
1.0
It’s really repetitive, it’s more a draw out essay than a book
abbbyyya's review
5.0
My friend has been telling me to read this for a year and I kept brushing it off. I told her I didn't want to play games when it came to dating and had no interest in learning how to be a "bitch" to men. I was WRONG about this book. I think every woman needs to read it, single or not. It is empowering and important. Argov encourages woman to simply be themself, no games. It was refreshing and gave me lots of hope for the dating world.
serru's review against another edition
2.0
I read the first half and skimmed the rest. I agree with the author's basic premise-- that women should not make men the centre of their lives, that they should be financially independent, that they should enter relationships on their own terms. However, instead of writing a book about that, the author chose to share a whole bunch of manipulative little tricks that she believes women should use in their relationship in order to make the man stay. Are you kidding me? What kind of relationship would it be if you were constantly playing mind games with your significant other??
Some of the advice in this book is terrible-- for example, the story of the woman who, in order to avoid doing her boyfriend's laundry, deliberately threw in a red sweater along with his white underwear and dyed them all pink. He got so pissed off at her that he yelled at her that he'll never let her do his laundry again. Seriously? I don't see how this would make a man respect you more. Sure, the woman got out of doing his laundry with her "clever" trick, but if I were the guy, I'd think she was an idiot for not being able to do something really simple, and it would make me lose respect for her. I'm pretty sure there are other ways of letting him know you won't be doing his laundry that don't involve pissing him off on purpose. Actually, the more I think about this, the more that woman comes off as incredibly immature to me. And Sherry Argov thinks we should all be striving for this kind of relationship?? Whatever happened to actual communication and talking things out?
On the other hand, I do agree that women shouldn't be nagging, needy, or mother-like in their treatment of men. Argov is right when she stressed that women should have their own lives outside of their relationship. She emphasizes the need for independence, and her explanation of her use of the word "bitch" really shows that she is talking about strong, independent women who go after the things they want and live life on their own terms. (And I have to say, I do like the story about the woman who leaves for the weekend to spend time with her friends and family whenever her husband is being a little distant. Her husband is back to his usual loving self when he comes back, and proves that a little space and interests outside your relationship can make it stronger.)
I think where she goes wrong is by creating a false dichotomy between the "nice girl" (who does everything for the man) and the "bitch" (who expects the man to cater to her). Very few people are at either extreme, and really, I don't think you should be at either extreme. Argov argues that being the nice girl doesn't benefit you, but neither does being a total bitch. I think the point is to be your own person, but also learn to bend a little to the other person's needs as well-- a balance of sorts.
Anyway, this book is really a mixed bag of advice. I wouldn't recommend it, as I'm sure there are books that say the same thing (be your own person) without promoting manipulative head games.
Some of the advice in this book is terrible-- for example, the story of the woman who, in order to avoid doing her boyfriend's laundry, deliberately threw in a red sweater along with his white underwear and dyed them all pink. He got so pissed off at her that he yelled at her that he'll never let her do his laundry again. Seriously? I don't see how this would make a man respect you more. Sure, the woman got out of doing his laundry with her "clever" trick, but if I were the guy, I'd think she was an idiot for not being able to do something really simple, and it would make me lose respect for her. I'm pretty sure there are other ways of letting him know you won't be doing his laundry that don't involve pissing him off on purpose. Actually, the more I think about this, the more that woman comes off as incredibly immature to me. And Sherry Argov thinks we should all be striving for this kind of relationship?? Whatever happened to actual communication and talking things out?
On the other hand, I do agree that women shouldn't be nagging, needy, or mother-like in their treatment of men. Argov is right when she stressed that women should have their own lives outside of their relationship. She emphasizes the need for independence, and her explanation of her use of the word "bitch" really shows that she is talking about strong, independent women who go after the things they want and live life on their own terms. (And I have to say, I do like the story about the woman who leaves for the weekend to spend time with her friends and family whenever her husband is being a little distant. Her husband is back to his usual loving self when he comes back, and proves that a little space and interests outside your relationship can make it stronger.)
I think where she goes wrong is by creating a false dichotomy between the "nice girl" (who does everything for the man) and the "bitch" (who expects the man to cater to her). Very few people are at either extreme, and really, I don't think you should be at either extreme. Argov argues that being the nice girl doesn't benefit you, but neither does being a total bitch. I think the point is to be your own person, but also learn to bend a little to the other person's needs as well-- a balance of sorts.
Anyway, this book is really a mixed bag of advice. I wouldn't recommend it, as I'm sure there are books that say the same thing (be your own person) without promoting manipulative head games.
kikiisreading's review against another edition
challenging
medium-paced
0.25
Spoiler alert
"It is so bad, I want to give you a zero. But that's not possible, so I give you a one."
I felt so much during this book, hate, sickness, dizziness, despair...
It was so bad and I hated it so much, I wanted to burn it and hurt it as much as it hurt me.
Reading this felt impossible, somehow I managed but now I feel a headache coming.
There is so much sexism and bullshit in here, I can't fathom hos anyone could give this more than one star, even one star is way too much.
She basically repeats her "points" over and over again, I don't know how often I have read "[...] which makes him respect you" or how often I have read that women shouldn't nag or be too emotional because then he will withdraw and mute you in his head. And of course YOU are the problem then, not HIM, no YOU.
Also how can you state that a woman's world should NOT revolve around a man and then write a WHOLE ASS BOOK about what to do, how to behave, to keep a man? What made me angry the most was the crap, that if you make out and have gone far already, stopping mid-way is stupid and egoistic because you have already gone so far and it's "like taking candy away from a child" wtf.
In general, what is her problem?
How often it was mentioned that he could at some point see you as his mother, for asking where he has been (e.g.) often. In general complaining about something was described as being manipulated and ignoring someone/withdrawing was good, like wth how do you get to that conclusion? But in the end, if you talk bs and tell people how you should work on yourself and not use therapy and that psychologist are wrong when they say you should talk it out because the man will only see a lose of money, then it's not a wonder, that there was more bs to come.
This is a guide for not ever having a meaningful and healthy relationship. This book shows you how to not be human as a woman and manipulate your way into a "relationship".
Caring is bad, communication is bad and if he says something problematic or does something bad the only way to "communicate" is to laugh and make jokes about it. Because that will show that you think independently. (Her literal words.)
Also men (every single one apparently, of quality) will always look at women and think of them as "humping-toys", everything you will and should do, should result in him being horny for you in the end. Play dumb, because hey, he already thinks women are dumb, but not too dumb because respect and valueing you and your opinion has to be earned and is conditional.
No really, she thinks, or "knows", that if you are "too dumb" he won't respect you or listen to you or your opinion and he also can't respect you if you earn no money. (Or if you are a "nice girl"). And that's totally fine, I mean come on, respecting someone because it's [/should be] basic human decency?? Naaah.
I hate this so so much and please, everyone who has read this and thought of it as anything different than bad: learn. Value yourself more and don't ever fall for this crap.
"It is so bad, I want to give you a zero. But that's not possible, so I give you a one."
I felt so much during this book, hate, sickness, dizziness, despair...
It was so bad and I hated it so much, I wanted to burn it and hurt it as much as it hurt me.
Reading this felt impossible, somehow I managed but now I feel a headache coming.
There is so much sexism and bullshit in here, I can't fathom hos anyone could give this more than one star, even one star is way too much.
She basically repeats her "points" over and over again, I don't know how often I have read "[...] which makes him respect you" or how often I have read that women shouldn't nag or be too emotional because then he will withdraw and mute you in his head. And of course YOU are the problem then, not HIM, no YOU.
Also how can you state that a woman's world should NOT revolve around a man and then write a WHOLE ASS BOOK about what to do, how to behave, to keep a man? What made me angry the most was the crap, that if you make out and have gone far already, stopping mid-way is stupid and egoistic because you have already gone so far and it's "like taking candy away from a child" wtf.
In general, what is her problem?
How often it was mentioned that he could at some point see you as his mother, for asking where he has been (e.g.) often. In general complaining about something was described as being manipulated and ignoring someone/withdrawing was good, like wth how do you get to that conclusion? But in the end, if you talk bs and tell people how you should work on yourself and not use therapy and that psychologist are wrong when they say you should talk it out because the man will only see a lose of money, then it's not a wonder, that there was more bs to come.
This is a guide for not ever having a meaningful and healthy relationship. This book shows you how to not be human as a woman and manipulate your way into a "relationship".
Caring is bad, communication is bad and if he says something problematic or does something bad the only way to "communicate" is to laugh and make jokes about it. Because that will show that you think independently. (Her literal words.)
Also men (every single one apparently, of quality) will always look at women and think of them as "humping-toys", everything you will and should do, should result in him being horny for you in the end. Play dumb, because hey, he already thinks women are dumb, but not too dumb because respect and valueing you and your opinion has to be earned and is conditional.
No really, she thinks, or "knows", that if you are "too dumb" he won't respect you or listen to you or your opinion and he also can't respect you if you earn no money. (Or if you are a "nice girl"). And that's totally fine, I mean come on, respecting someone because it's [/should be] basic human decency?? Naaah.
I hate this so so much and please, everyone who has read this and thought of it as anything different than bad: learn. Value yourself more and don't ever fall for this crap.
booksfromthemoon's review against another edition
challenging
slow-paced
0.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Misogyny and Sexism
emmysnook's review
3.0
Overall I thought this book had some very GOOD advice but also very BAD advice.
Argov focuses on confidence and how you shouldn’t take any bad behaviour or slack from men of any kind (lover, coworker, etc) she really opened my eyes to some of my own “people pleasing” behaviours and how overtime this degrades self confidence.
On the other hand the way Argov talks about men is very hot and cold. She talks about men in very degrading ways (ie. saying no man would wear pink underwear) like ????
Was the self confidence advice good? Yes, and I will be incorporating her advice into my life and relationships but be wary that the men he speaks of in this book are not good.
3.5/5 I do recommend this book. Might not be completely for me but might help some women to read.
Argov focuses on confidence and how you shouldn’t take any bad behaviour or slack from men of any kind (lover, coworker, etc) she really opened my eyes to some of my own “people pleasing” behaviours and how overtime this degrades self confidence.
On the other hand the way Argov talks about men is very hot and cold. She talks about men in very degrading ways (ie. saying no man would wear pink underwear) like ????
Was the self confidence advice good? Yes, and I will be incorporating her advice into my life and relationships but be wary that the men he speaks of in this book are not good.
3.5/5 I do recommend this book. Might not be completely for me but might help some women to read.