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3.9 AVERAGE
3.9 AVERAGE
This book really blew me away. Monica Guzman uses her own experiences to create the perfect guide for today’s divided world.
If you’re living through all the division and misinformation right now, this book is a must-read. It gives you tools to stay curious and have better conversations with others.
I honestly think reading this book and using its advice could save some important relationships. When you understand the systems that divide us, it helps you fight back.
Since starting this book, I’ve found myself asking, “What am I missing?” and looking for those “I never thought of it that way” moments—whether it’s small stuff like a billboard or bigger things like tough political talks with my family.
I’m far left, and my family is far right, so this book hit home for me. Monica Guzman definitely saw a need in today’s world and filled it. I really appreciate the honesty and kindness in her writing.
Read for Popsugar: A book about a problem facing society today
It's no secret that polarization and entrenchment in beliefs is a huge problem in our society. I do think that if we all just could sit down and have a chat, we'd realize that extremists are in the minority and that we really would agree on many things. While I would love for that to happen, I just don't think it will, and I don't know if it's the best strategy to the bigger problems in the messy landscape of exaggerated media.
I think on a personal level, this is a great guide for speaking to those who hold different views than you, and maintaining relationships when those views are drastically different. I appreciate Guzman encouraging us to lead with respect and generosity, but it also depends on who we are speaking with - they have to be just as open and genuine if we want to make headway in understanding each other.
Mixed feelings! I'm going to try to be brave and curious and open to my beliefs being wrong, but I'm not sure how successful this will be. I hope I'm surprised.
It's no secret that polarization and entrenchment in beliefs is a huge problem in our society. I do think that if we all just could sit down and have a chat, we'd realize that extremists are in the minority and that we really would agree on many things. While I would love for that to happen, I just don't think it will, and I don't know if it's the best strategy to the bigger problems in the messy landscape of exaggerated media.
I think on a personal level, this is a great guide for speaking to those who hold different views than you, and maintaining relationships when those views are drastically different. I appreciate Guzman encouraging us to lead with respect and generosity, but it also depends on who we are speaking with - they have to be just as open and genuine if we want to make headway in understanding each other.
Mixed feelings! I'm going to try to be brave and curious and open to my beliefs being wrong, but I'm not sure how successful this will be. I hope I'm surprised.
Listened to this on audiobook! I picked it up because one of my work mentor figures mentioned she was reading it.
I give this book a middle-of-the road rating, because though it emphasizes important points about making bridging conversations with people, I didn't find it super groundbreaking or find much in it that I didn't already know.
The first part of this book discussing SOS (Sorting, Othering, Siloing) could be boiled down to a principle I learned from Tyler Merritt and his book - it's that “proximity creates empathy.”
It was interesting learning about some of the sociology studies done on why humans love to perform SOS, but I learned more about the science of human behavior in a memoir like What My Bones Know, which was just so incredibly well-researched, it kind of blew my mind haha.
Here are some useful reminders this book gave me:
(1) When talking to someone, don't focus on winning, focus on understanding.
(2) Someone on the opposite side of an issue as me isn't necessarily against my most important values. They might just be prioritizing different ones.
(3) Just because someone is less skilled or practiced in articulating their arguments does not mean their opinions are less valid.
(4) Maintaining bridges is more important than crossing them. More understanding can develop over time if these bridges with other people are not burned down.
I think what this book is trying to do is tough. It presents practical tips for having curious conversations, which in turn does improve the relationships in one's life, and I think that's important. However, its language suggests really wanting to affect positive systemic change, and affecting change on these small individual/personal levels simply does not achieve that.
This is a good introduction for someone who has perhaps never considered having more curious and empathetic conversations, or stopped to remember that people on “the other side” are still people too.
For me, I've simply read books that have inspired me more. INTOITW isn't as practically useful as How to Keep House While Drowning, it's not as well-researched as What My Bones Know, and it's not as moving as I Take My Coffee Black. I've seen tons of shorter thought pieces that have basically summarized what INTOITW is trying to get at. Take that as you will. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I give this book a middle-of-the road rating, because though it emphasizes important points about making bridging conversations with people, I didn't find it super groundbreaking or find much in it that I didn't already know.
The first part of this book discussing SOS (Sorting, Othering, Siloing) could be boiled down to a principle I learned from Tyler Merritt and his book - it's that “proximity creates empathy.”
It was interesting learning about some of the sociology studies done on why humans love to perform SOS, but I learned more about the science of human behavior in a memoir like What My Bones Know, which was just so incredibly well-researched, it kind of blew my mind haha.
Here are some useful reminders this book gave me:
(1) When talking to someone, don't focus on winning, focus on understanding.
(2) Someone on the opposite side of an issue as me isn't necessarily against my most important values. They might just be prioritizing different ones.
(3) Just because someone is less skilled or practiced in articulating their arguments does not mean their opinions are less valid.
(4) Maintaining bridges is more important than crossing them. More understanding can develop over time if these bridges with other people are not burned down.
I think what this book is trying to do is tough. It presents practical tips for having curious conversations, which in turn does improve the relationships in one's life, and I think that's important. However, its language suggests really wanting to affect positive systemic change, and affecting change on these small individual/personal levels simply does not achieve that.
This is a good introduction for someone who has perhaps never considered having more curious and empathetic conversations, or stopped to remember that people on “the other side” are still people too.
For me, I've simply read books that have inspired me more. INTOITW isn't as practically useful as How to Keep House While Drowning, it's not as well-researched as What My Bones Know, and it's not as moving as I Take My Coffee Black. I've seen tons of shorter thought pieces that have basically summarized what INTOITW is trying to get at. Take that as you will. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A good read on how to listen to those who think differently from you,and realizing that most people’s opinions make sense, when you consider their life contexts (yes, even Trump supporters)
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Well written, incredibly thorough, research focused and personal. Impressive to be able to hold all that. I feel like I’m leaving this book with a lot of tools.
hopeful
fast-paced
I really wanted to like this book but I fear it was just a little too idealistic
informative
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
Loved this! A very insightful, personal reflection on how to shift our conversations with people who are socio-political opposites to ours. Drawing on a very popular term, curiosity, the author shares how she applies her own techniques with her parents who have very different viewpoints from hers. This is a timely and awesome work.
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced