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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
I don't really want to add my late-to-the-party analysis to the furor and hubbub over this book, but I have to say: I enjoyed reading it. I think if you read it as a memoir full of the parenting-related musings of a very smart and driven woman, it's fantastic. If you read it as a parenting manual, it's a little (sometimes a lot) terrifying, but at least thought-provoking.
I don't think I'll quite be a tiger mother, but I think I might be less afraid to demand excellence and perseverance from my children than I otherwise might have been. Some children really do thrive when they're pushed, and certainly even those with great potential can fall short of it through sheer laziness/willfulness/rebelliousness. See my determination not to study for spelling bees because it "wasn't fair" if I learned words by memorizing a list instead of reading -- obviously it was just less fun to memorize lists than it was to read books! Whether or not it's a parent's job to overcome that (by any means necessary?) is open for discussion.
Also, a much quicker read than I expected.
I don't think I'll quite be a tiger mother, but I think I might be less afraid to demand excellence and perseverance from my children than I otherwise might have been. Some children really do thrive when they're pushed, and certainly even those with great potential can fall short of it through sheer laziness/willfulness/rebelliousness. See my determination not to study for spelling bees because it "wasn't fair" if I learned words by memorizing a list instead of reading -- obviously it was just less fun to memorize lists than it was to read books! Whether or not it's a parent's job to overcome that (by any means necessary?) is open for discussion.
Also, a much quicker read than I expected.
I picked this one up mostly because of the negative controversy, but I wasn't really familiar with any of the content of the book. I started out kind of outraged, but by half way through I really enjoyed it. It was a quick read, and I occasionally found myself wishing I had been raised by more of a "tiger mother," since I started and quit so many activities which I regret now.
it's such a funny/fun read. She even has dreams and goals for her dogs! The book received a lot of flack, but I think journalists cherry-picked the craziest parts to blow up. Chua admits in the end that her style of parenting didn't work on her younger daughter, which ultimately makes her like the rest of us mothers out there: not perfect.
There's only one thought that comes to mind having read this controversial memoir on Chinese parenting: MORTIFIED. I was mortified by the author's ideals, her disciplinary actions towards her daughters, and from a literary standpoint, kind of irritated by the poor writing and lack of depth & insight (which is ironic as she criticizes her daughters for writing their speeches with a lack of insight). This is coming from a girl who was raised by Indian parenting, which as she touches upon in the book, is very similar to her own views on how to raise kids. I understand the value of discipline, but not to this extent. I also understand the value of respect, childhood and self-esteem, which the author clearly disregards.
First off, this book was intended to shock readers and sell books. At first, I wanted to call the author brave for having revealed such personal, heart-breaking stories. However, having seen some of her interviews on The Today show, Good Morning America, etc., her stories in the memoir seem a little more exaggerated. The rebellion of her daughter was probably more of a singular act of defiance than her actually losing her sh*t and going mental. The hair incident felt written for dramatic effect, but what was the actual point? What was the resolution? Her daughters posed questions at the end such as "How is this better than Western parenting?" and I believe she never truly answered this question. Her criticism of Western parenting may have found more merit had this book been written from a scientific approach or if we could hear from the perspective of the daughters (did they turn out to be interesting individuals or just robots?). As written, I think the author lost the argument that Chinese parenting is better than Western parenting and lost the readers and their support in the process.
Much of her children's success resulted from their own hard work, talent and let's be honest, a genetic advantage (both parents are smart cookies themselves). It is true that their work ethic stems from a strict regimen that she placed on them at a young age, but even at the resolution of the book, I don't think she valued their independent spirit or gave them any credit for their success. In fact, I didn't even see the author learn from her mistakes, grow or come to any realization at the end.
The whole tone of the book was meant to be provocative, but honestly, she came across pretentious and stereotypical (oh! white people drink wine and do yoga!) Was she trying to be funny and sarcastic? (Then she failed). Dogs don't have professions?!? WHAT?! Har har! Her matter of fact attitude comes across as rude, insensitive, and obtuse. The transitions bothered me the most. She goes from "marrying Jewish" to discussing disabled people in one chapter. There was a major lack of insight when she casually mentions an incident, but fails to explain how this influenced the overarching story. What did Sophia gnawing on the piano symbolize? How did Jed and the long commute in the beginning of their relationship affect Sophia? She touches upon Sophia not being very social, then continues to the next story. Not to mention, she barely acknowledges running over her daughter's foot. Did this not seem like a good discussion point - in any sane person's life, this would influence any girl's childhood.
I understand she's not trying to make friends with any of the readers, but this is hypocrisy at its best. She talks about respect and individual growth. But, she has no respect for her kids and especially her husband. A follow-up to this book should be stories written from the perspective of her family - what did her husband think of his wife's inability to compromise or even consult him on how to raise their kids? How sad were the girls as they lost their childhood?
Overall, it was an interesting read. How many books can produce such intense discussions? I may not agree with the author's viewpoint and writing, but at least she created a thought-provoking book.
First off, this book was intended to shock readers and sell books. At first, I wanted to call the author brave for having revealed such personal, heart-breaking stories. However, having seen some of her interviews on The Today show, Good Morning America, etc., her stories in the memoir seem a little more exaggerated. The rebellion of her daughter was probably more of a singular act of defiance than her actually losing her sh*t and going mental. The hair incident felt written for dramatic effect, but what was the actual point? What was the resolution? Her daughters posed questions at the end such as "How is this better than Western parenting?" and I believe she never truly answered this question. Her criticism of Western parenting may have found more merit had this book been written from a scientific approach or if we could hear from the perspective of the daughters (did they turn out to be interesting individuals or just robots?). As written, I think the author lost the argument that Chinese parenting is better than Western parenting and lost the readers and their support in the process.
Much of her children's success resulted from their own hard work, talent and let's be honest, a genetic advantage (both parents are smart cookies themselves). It is true that their work ethic stems from a strict regimen that she placed on them at a young age, but even at the resolution of the book, I don't think she valued their independent spirit or gave them any credit for their success. In fact, I didn't even see the author learn from her mistakes, grow or come to any realization at the end.
The whole tone of the book was meant to be provocative, but honestly, she came across pretentious and stereotypical (oh! white people drink wine and do yoga!) Was she trying to be funny and sarcastic? (Then she failed). Dogs don't have professions?!? WHAT?! Har har! Her matter of fact attitude comes across as rude, insensitive, and obtuse. The transitions bothered me the most. She goes from "marrying Jewish" to discussing disabled people in one chapter. There was a major lack of insight when she casually mentions an incident, but fails to explain how this influenced the overarching story. What did Sophia gnawing on the piano symbolize? How did Jed and the long commute in the beginning of their relationship affect Sophia? She touches upon Sophia not being very social, then continues to the next story. Not to mention, she barely acknowledges running over her daughter's foot. Did this not seem like a good discussion point - in any sane person's life, this would influence any girl's childhood.
I understand she's not trying to make friends with any of the readers, but this is hypocrisy at its best. She talks about respect and individual growth. But, she has no respect for her kids and especially her husband. A follow-up to this book should be stories written from the perspective of her family - what did her husband think of his wife's inability to compromise or even consult him on how to raise their kids? How sad were the girls as they lost their childhood?
Overall, it was an interesting read. How many books can produce such intense discussions? I may not agree with the author's viewpoint and writing, but at least she created a thought-provoking book.
reflective
slow-paced
The premise of this book can be summed up from a quote describing the parenting differences between the author's Chinese parenting style and her mother-in-law's Western parenting style: "Florence saw childhood as something fleeting to be enjoyed. I saw childhood as a training period, a time to build character and invest in the future" (p. 97). A quick, easy read. It does a good job detailing some of the flaws of Western parenting styles, although at some points I think the pendulum swings too far in the other direction (e.g., calling your children garbage for a trivial mistake).
One that for now I'll probably quickly forget, although I may re-read it after I have kids!
One that for now I'll probably quickly forget, although I may re-read it after I have kids!
Every parent should read this. We have so much to learn from Chinese parenting. The culture of narcism is rampant in the west, we don't have to get kids playing piano for 5 hours a day, but we have to teach them the life lessons in hard work and what it can do for you, life doesn't owe you anything!
I loved this! I found Amy Chua's humour very funny and her rendition of Chinese Tiger Mother is so extreme that the distinctions between "Western" vs "Chinese" parenting are especially clear.
I was recently a child, and I remember envying all the freedom that my white friends had. Reading this now makes my heart heavy and deeply appreciate my mom. For all the times she would fight with me because she chose what's best for me over making me happy in the moment. I didn't have a tiger mother, but my mother had a tiger mother, so I had a milder version of this parenting philosophy in this book.
I was recently a child, and I remember envying all the freedom that my white friends had. Reading this now makes my heart heavy and deeply appreciate my mom. For all the times she would fight with me because she chose what's best for me over making me happy in the moment. I didn't have a tiger mother, but my mother had a tiger mother, so I had a milder version of this parenting philosophy in this book.
I was hesitant to read this book because of all the hype, but I'm so glad I did. Chua allows herself to be so vulnerable as she tells this story of raising her daughters.
I really enjoyed reading this book. While I may not agree with her parenting style, I can definitely see her reasonings. Plus, as a parent, its nice to see that not everyone has an easy time with their kids :)