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3.54 AVERAGE
3.54 AVERAGE
It’s easy to attach controversy to this book. Parenting is a sensitive subject, and there are a lot of stereotypes surrounding Asians, Asian Americans, and “Chinese” parenting. But if you’re reading BATTLE HYMN OF THE TIGER MOTHER with the expectation of analyzing the strengths and weaknesses of Chinese parenting, you’re getting your reading experience wrong. BATTLE HYMN is a comic memoir of one mother and her two daughters; it is NOT meant to be read as a representation of all Asian or immigrant parents, it is NOT a parenting manual, and it is NOT trying to make any formal statements about any kind of parenting.
Amy Chua is in the unusual, unique, and privileged position of tiger parenting. She adopts the Chinese parenting model—because she herself is in fact American, and thus her memoir cannot be a representation of actual Chinese immigrant parenting, because it is always tempered by the girls’ American society and the “Western freedom” that Chua does give her daughters. Read the book carefully: Chua doesn’t talk about demanding her daughters to be doctors or lawyers. Her love for her daughters isn’t conditional to the girls’ success, just to whether or not they put all that they could into their efforts.
What BATTLE HYMN really should be read as is comedy—and if it makes you rethink your parenting strategies, well, then, more power to you. Chua skillfully weaves hyperbole and just a tinge of the absurd into her prose, with the result that, even in the guise of SuperScary Tiger Mom, she remains utterly charming and amusing. Sometimes I couldn’t decide whether to be shocked at a scene, or to nod in sympathy, or to laugh out loud.
More people than you think—especially children of Asians and immigrants—will be able to relate to the story of Amy Chua and her daughters. BATTLE HYMN OF THE TIGER MOTHER is an entertaining and thought-provoking look into the parenting adventures of one determined mother and her two talented daughters. It has certainly made me think more about what kind of parent I’d want to be if I am ever a parent—and to expect the unexpected when it comes to people.
Amy Chua is in the unusual, unique, and privileged position of tiger parenting. She adopts the Chinese parenting model—because she herself is in fact American, and thus her memoir cannot be a representation of actual Chinese immigrant parenting, because it is always tempered by the girls’ American society and the “Western freedom” that Chua does give her daughters. Read the book carefully: Chua doesn’t talk about demanding her daughters to be doctors or lawyers. Her love for her daughters isn’t conditional to the girls’ success, just to whether or not they put all that they could into their efforts.
What BATTLE HYMN really should be read as is comedy—and if it makes you rethink your parenting strategies, well, then, more power to you. Chua skillfully weaves hyperbole and just a tinge of the absurd into her prose, with the result that, even in the guise of SuperScary Tiger Mom, she remains utterly charming and amusing. Sometimes I couldn’t decide whether to be shocked at a scene, or to nod in sympathy, or to laugh out loud.
More people than you think—especially children of Asians and immigrants—will be able to relate to the story of Amy Chua and her daughters. BATTLE HYMN OF THE TIGER MOTHER is an entertaining and thought-provoking look into the parenting adventures of one determined mother and her two talented daughters. It has certainly made me think more about what kind of parent I’d want to be if I am ever a parent—and to expect the unexpected when it comes to people.
I remember all the hubub when this book came out. I knew I would read it eventually, but I definitely wasn't paying money for it. And after completing it, I'm very glad I didn't.
You know who's book I would pay money to read? Lulu's. The coda of this book, and this article from last year, make me want to see her side of it. Because she's definitely not walking the party line regarding "Chinese parenting".
I am not a parent. But I raised my niece from the sidelines, indirectly. And if the person who'd been raising her treated her the way Chua treated her children, I wouldn't have called child services. I would've beaten the piss out of them.
If my niece raised her son this way, I wouldn't hesitate to knock her the hell out.
Chua is a bully. An absolute bully. She spends the entire book patting herself on the back for her children's accomplishments, and talking about how they reflect on her. I absolutely brag about the accomplishments of the children in my life. They are a direct reflection on their parents/guardians, and sometimes, on me. But the pictures and stories I have are, more than anything, a reflection of who they are, and what they're learning and loving. Not myself or their parents standing over them raging and threatening and verbally abusing them until they did the thing.
No, Chua, you are not a Chinese mother. You're an asshole.
I want Lulu's book.
You know who's book I would pay money to read? Lulu's. The coda of this book, and this article from last year, make me want to see her side of it. Because she's definitely not walking the party line regarding "Chinese parenting".
I am not a parent. But I raised my niece from the sidelines, indirectly. And if the person who'd been raising her treated her the way Chua treated her children, I wouldn't have called child services. I would've beaten the piss out of them.
If my niece raised her son this way, I wouldn't hesitate to knock her the hell out.
Chua is a bully. An absolute bully. She spends the entire book patting herself on the back for her children's accomplishments, and talking about how they reflect on her. I absolutely brag about the accomplishments of the children in my life. They are a direct reflection on their parents/guardians, and sometimes, on me. But the pictures and stories I have are, more than anything, a reflection of who they are, and what they're learning and loving. Not myself or their parents standing over them raging and threatening and verbally abusing them until they did the thing.
No, Chua, you are not a Chinese mother. You're an asshole.
I want Lulu's book.
Really interesting view on raising children. I'm pretty sure there is no clear cut "right" method, but perhaps a little bit of Western AND a little bit of Chinese method would be a good thing for our society.
Read for a book club.
Read for a book club.
fast-paced
It's unfortunate that Chua was vilified for this book. 1) it's a memoir, her experience 2) she's hardly trying to prove herself as an expert on child-rearing 3) there's a lot to learn here - about differences in how we raise our kids 4) she grows from this experience and learns a lesson herself.
While Chua does argue that the "Chinese Way" is better than the "Western Way" she does so with reserve. She acknowledges that she has been ridiculous in some of her tactics. And the book is filled with comedic moments. (I loved her tone.) I never felt that anything she did was abusive. (Personally, not my style - very harsh - but I DO understand her POV.)
One of my favorite philosophies of the "Chinese Way" is that in Chinese culture adults do the choosing for children. This is completely contrary to Western philosophies of choice. Chua argues that children do not always know what's best and that they will one day be adults who look back and are grateful for the choices made by their parents.
This caused me to reflect on my life "Was there anything I was forced to do?" (My parents were not ridiculously strict, but we had rules and expectations.) If there is one thing I am glad I was forced to do was learn Spanish... something that was at time 'by force' - especially as I grew into a teenager and didn't want to keep up with it... but I didn't have the foresight to know the great value that this second language would have on me today. I look back and am so grateful for the Saturdays in Argentine school, the summers in Spanish summer school, the lessons my mom made us do at home, and the rule "Spanish must be spoken at the dinner table". I hated this as a pre-teen and teenager - but am SO grateful now.
While Chua's parenting can be 'mean' in a lot of ways, she definitely makes some strong points that we all can learn from.
While Chua does argue that the "Chinese Way" is better than the "Western Way" she does so with reserve. She acknowledges that she has been ridiculous in some of her tactics. And the book is filled with comedic moments. (I loved her tone.) I never felt that anything she did was abusive. (Personally, not my style - very harsh - but I DO understand her POV.)
One of my favorite philosophies of the "Chinese Way" is that in Chinese culture adults do the choosing for children. This is completely contrary to Western philosophies of choice. Chua argues that children do not always know what's best and that they will one day be adults who look back and are grateful for the choices made by their parents.
This caused me to reflect on my life "Was there anything I was forced to do?" (My parents were not ridiculously strict, but we had rules and expectations.) If there is one thing I am glad I was forced to do was learn Spanish... something that was at time 'by force' - especially as I grew into a teenager and didn't want to keep up with it... but I didn't have the foresight to know the great value that this second language would have on me today. I look back and am so grateful for the Saturdays in Argentine school, the summers in Spanish summer school, the lessons my mom made us do at home, and the rule "Spanish must be spoken at the dinner table". I hated this as a pre-teen and teenager - but am SO grateful now.
While Chua's parenting can be 'mean' in a lot of ways, she definitely makes some strong points that we all can learn from.
An interesting quick read. I was not that impressed by the extreme parenting. I would never do that to my family.
So I succumbed to the 'buzz' and decided to read it for myself. Amy Chua's parenting memoir is somewhat simplistic but she tells an interesting story. She categorizes people (Chinese parents vs. Western parents) and clearly prefers the 'chinese' method. Her definition of a reasonable cost/benefit ratio is way different than mine. On the benefit side, she, and her family, have already accomplished 3 times more than most of us do in a lifetime... if we define accomplishments as performing in Carnegie Hall and all over the world and being a star in everything we do. On the cost side, screaming matches, very little fun, seemingly constant tension, a very stressful life including hours in the car and hours hovering over every detail of music practice. There was nothing mentioned about anyone in the family volunteering or giving to other people. But there is some truth in her critique of some 'western' parenting -- too permissive, lets children give up too easily, too focused on self-esteem without the accomplishment to back it up. Clearly she has touched a cultural nerve.
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Contrary to belief (& reviews!) this book is very inspiring and educational. I wish my own mother had half the motivation that Amy Chua has had for her kids. Though at times it may seem like she was too strike and over bearing, like MANY parents are, it's only in the best interest of her kids. This book isn't a how-to about raising kids and in the first beginning she explains that by the phrase "Chinese mother" she is not referring only to Chinese but other mothers from different cultures that were raised and raise their own kids like Asian mothers, to have absolute respect to their elders and authority. Give this book a shot.
It took me a while to get around to reading Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother because all the media coverage it got when it came out. While Amy Chua comes off as unfeeling and super hardcore when it comes to making sure her kids do what she thinks they should do, she writes with humor that isn't necessarily "haha" funny, but has plenty of self-awareness. She knows she's hardcore by not coddling her girls with "second place is just as good as first" and she makes no apologies for it.
I suspect Ms. Chua might be one of those dinner party guests who can stop a conversation cold with one of her "funny" parenting stories, but she has a point. Children are children who should be treated as such and sometimes, hopefully most of the time, their parents do know what's best and have those best interests at heart.
Being the parent to one kid who complains endlessly about having to put in practice time at the piano (only 30 minutes, not the multiple hours Chua made her daughters do), I know that while he might not like me much when he has to do it, in the end he'll be happy he's learning a pretty nifty skill. By the time he can show off his piano playing to girls he might even thank me.
I suspect Ms. Chua might be one of those dinner party guests who can stop a conversation cold with one of her "funny" parenting stories, but she has a point. Children are children who should be treated as such and sometimes, hopefully most of the time, their parents do know what's best and have those best interests at heart.
Being the parent to one kid who complains endlessly about having to put in practice time at the piano (only 30 minutes, not the multiple hours Chua made her daughters do), I know that while he might not like me much when he has to do it, in the end he'll be happy he's learning a pretty nifty skill. By the time he can show off his piano playing to girls he might even thank me.
challenging
funny
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced