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3.36 AVERAGE
3.36 AVERAGE
hopeful
informative
slow-paced
informative
reflective
fast-paced
Interesting read as someone in a long-term relationship and engaged to a "good enough" guy as this book would consider him. After reading this book I'm thankful I didn't have the slew of dating different people and being super picky that these people seemed to have. I realize I'm lucky. I really wanted to shake the author for finding faults in every man she dated and for wondering why she wasn't married yet. Like I wonder...🙄 That was the point of the book, though, and it brought up a lot of interesting facts and way to change one's mindset about dating and marriage. Made me happy to have who I have instead of wondering "what if" for some hypothetical guy I've never met. Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. I think this book would be good for single women to read, but if you are over 35, you may find it super depressing (but hopefully helpful). I do think it has helpful tips to stop being so picky, though. It's a bit dated (2010) and much has changed since then. It was very heteronormative and assumed everyone wanted children. However, but I still see the same issues happening with some of my friends, so it's still an issue apparently. Could be worth a read if you want some helpful tips.
I was interested in reading this book because everyone always tells me to "never settle" and to wait for someone who deserves me.
After reading this book, I agree that I shouldn't settle.
This book made me uncomfortable because it's basically implying so many women are superficial vapid humans who will reject a guy based on his height and ignore the good parts about him. How many friends does this author have that is superficial? No wonder she never found her unicorn? Who could meet her standard that is so high. It often felt like her standard was the looks of Brad Pitt mixed with the intellect of Einstein and humor of Dave Chapelle and more. No one is perfect, but no need to settle for Joe Smoe...
I'm sorry that the author was superficial and was unable to date because someone had a bowtie in his profile picture...
Also, what's up with attacking feminism? What's wrong with wanting a relationship that is based on equality or equity? I think the author must be a second wave feminist...
However, I still got some knowledge based in this book
1) don't be superficial - looks fade but personality and personal characteristics will last. Look for someone who is kind, caring, empathetic, etc.
2) Think about what you truly need in a relationship, whether its someone who would be a good father or someone who is intellectually stimulating for you.
Nothing is wrong with having standards and looking for someone who is a decent and nice human being. Don't go for the guy who is attractive yet a terrible human. But also, don't settle for the guy you meet that can put down a toilet seat (you can do better than that)... You can still have standards, but think more about needs versus wants.
After reading this book, I agree that I shouldn't settle.
This book made me uncomfortable because it's basically implying so many women are superficial vapid humans who will reject a guy based on his height and ignore the good parts about him. How many friends does this author have that is superficial? No wonder she never found her unicorn? Who could meet her standard that is so high. It often felt like her standard was the looks of Brad Pitt mixed with the intellect of Einstein and humor of Dave Chapelle and more. No one is perfect, but no need to settle for Joe Smoe...
I'm sorry that the author was superficial and was unable to date because someone had a bowtie in his profile picture...
Also, what's up with attacking feminism? What's wrong with wanting a relationship that is based on equality or equity? I think the author must be a second wave feminist...
However, I still got some knowledge based in this book
1) don't be superficial - looks fade but personality and personal characteristics will last. Look for someone who is kind, caring, empathetic, etc.
2) Think about what you truly need in a relationship, whether its someone who would be a good father or someone who is intellectually stimulating for you.
Nothing is wrong with having standards and looking for someone who is a decent and nice human being. Don't go for the guy who is attractive yet a terrible human. But also, don't settle for the guy you meet that can put down a toilet seat (you can do better than that)... You can still have standards, but think more about needs versus wants.
I had heard a lot about this book and was intrigued. Her emphasis on the difference between "needs" and "wants" in a mate was particularly interesting.
More than a husband, what Gottlieb really needs is a better editor. While there are a few nuggets of wisdom in the book, it should have been about 100 pages shorter. Not only did ideas and examples get repeated, but the author's personal narrative just sort of frayed out in the last few chapters. I do think some of Gottlieb's points (stop thinking you're hot shit, be more open-minded about potential future life partners, etc.) are interesting, but they could have been much more persuasively and succinctly articulated.
I actually had a lot of important takeaways from this book and I was really receptive to the general message of unpacking your expectations of a romantic partner and being realistic rather than rigid. I also love the idea that immediate chemistry does not predict long term relationship happiness and not to discount friendship or a “slow burn.”
All that said, the messages were wrapped up in problematic packaging. Honestly I am not super offended by the evolutionary reality that women and men peak in reproductive value at different times and for different durations, and that inevitably affects dating behavior and ultimately choices. That said- I think it was sort of beating a dead horse at some point and all roads seemed to lead back to this dead end in a way that started to feel offensive. Super heteronormative in a way that I felt was not helpful and sometimes sloppy. I feel like her most poignant messages were targeted at cisgender straight women and she never really spoke in a meaningful way to how these lessons would apply in for anyone who didn’t identify this way. It’s unfortunate because I honestly found the book personally helpful but I’m also a cisgender straight white woman of a certain SES so these messages can only reach a limited target audience.
All that said, the messages were wrapped up in problematic packaging. Honestly I am not super offended by the evolutionary reality that women and men peak in reproductive value at different times and for different durations, and that inevitably affects dating behavior and ultimately choices. That said- I think it was sort of beating a dead horse at some point and all roads seemed to lead back to this dead end in a way that started to feel offensive. Super heteronormative in a way that I felt was not helpful and sometimes sloppy. I feel like her most poignant messages were targeted at cisgender straight women and she never really spoke in a meaningful way to how these lessons would apply in for anyone who didn’t identify this way. It’s unfortunate because I honestly found the book personally helpful but I’m also a cisgender straight white woman of a certain SES so these messages can only reach a limited target audience.
reflective
fast-paced
informative
slow-paced
This was an interesting read. I bought this book out of skepticism...but I'd be lying if I said Lori didn't raise a few good points. I'm still processing the book, so I'll update my review once I'm done.