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3.36 AVERAGE
3.36 AVERAGE
I found this read on Audible after reading her hit “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” and thought it was a follow up, naturally having high expectations because I loved that book. As I listened and began questioning things, I started doing some research & then realized it’s been around for over 10 years. I think what is meant to be a gentle kick in the butt to challenge superficial reasons not to date someone, is more like a slap in the face that makes you feel like being a 30 something yo woman is a relational death sentence. It’s really hard to like this book because it stirred up so much fear in me and then in some ways I loved it as it was discussing such relevant content for me. Overall, I think she could have done a much better job balancing the wisdom she gained without producing so much fear and anxiety in readers and “shoulding” and “shaming” left and right. It was painful, but somehow I finished.
Agree with the review that this book is too long, and also I think I would absolutely hate this if I read it as a single 40 year old.
As a 28yo in a committed relationship I thought this was a great overview of what types of things are important or not in a relationship and also great inspiration to not let silly things derail tbe relationship.
Nothing makes you want to make it work like the spectre of being 40 and having to convince yourself that its actually fine and good to have to date somebody you're not attracted to or interested in at all because there are literally no other options. I'll keep my partner who I am attracted to and love, even if he always leaves literally everg cupboard door open when he's done cooking!
If you're a relatively normal person you probably won't have the issues the author has. She had several examples of breaking up with somebody over a very small and insignificant thing, which I think most people don't do. I didn't relate to her very much. I did enjoy the book though.
As a 28yo in a committed relationship I thought this was a great overview of what types of things are important or not in a relationship and also great inspiration to not let silly things derail tbe relationship.
Nothing makes you want to make it work like the spectre of being 40 and having to convince yourself that its actually fine and good to have to date somebody you're not attracted to or interested in at all because there are literally no other options. I'll keep my partner who I am attracted to and love, even if he always leaves literally everg cupboard door open when he's done cooking!
If you're a relatively normal person you probably won't have the issues the author has. She had several examples of breaking up with somebody over a very small and insignificant thing, which I think most people don't do. I didn't relate to her very much. I did enjoy the book though.
As Dan Savage says, “There’s no ‘the one.’ There’s just a little of 0.75’s that you round up to 1.”
Predictably narcissistic, filled with the type of vapid pop culture references that have misdirected women about relationships for years, nay, centuries. Still... Reads like a diary entry, or transcript of late night talks in the dorms. in that way was a guilty pleasure read.
I picked this book up after seeing a reference to it in an article and then discovering a friend had read it. I enjoyed reading it and found it thoroughly interesting. I think this woman made VERY valid points about the way people think about themselves and it had some harsh realities that a lot of women and men need in their life. I'll be doing a longer review on my blog but I'd definitely recommend this for single women, especially young ones.
Fast & enjoyable read for anyone currently dating and looking to find a significant other. It helped highlight things I already knew about myself - that I am too picky when looking for a partner. The book helps focus on the things that matter - shared values, lifestyle, and life goals.
Overall a good read, but somewhat repetitive and a little longer than it needed to be. The book was written in 2011, so right before the advent of dating apps. I would love to see the author put out an update on what advice they would give in the current atmosphere of Bumble, Tinder, & Hinge - whereas the book was written when Match.com was the main option for online dating/ introductions.
I enjoyed the author and her writing style, so I have started on her more recent book, "Maybe you should talk to someone."
Overall a good read, but somewhat repetitive and a little longer than it needed to be. The book was written in 2011, so right before the advent of dating apps. I would love to see the author put out an update on what advice they would give in the current atmosphere of Bumble, Tinder, & Hinge - whereas the book was written when Match.com was the main option for online dating/ introductions.
I enjoyed the author and her writing style, so I have started on her more recent book, "Maybe you should talk to someone."
As a therapist, I find both this book and the reviews of this book extremely interesting. As a single, independent and successful career woman, I didn’t exactly identify with needing to settle but I do identify that a lot of my friends and therapy participants do. This was a fabulous adventure into a different perspective. And I’m taking that for what it is.
I am changing my mind and going with 4 stars.
I wanted to read this for a couple of reasons.
1. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. This book caused such a huge commotion when it came out. I don't think the people who were complaining about this book actually read the book. She doesn't say everyone needs to be married. She just says that she wants to be married and she knows that a lot of her friends do to and she is just reanalyzing whether maybe they were looking for the wrong traits which I would agree that they were.
2. I am going through a divorce and I think that is good time to consider what qualities you are looking for in someone.
I think this book is aimed at a pretty specific target audience....career oriented women who also want to get married and have children. I don't want to have kids so a lot of this book really didn't apply to me. That's why for me I think I can only give it 3 stars even though I enjoyed her writing style a lot and it was interesting to hear from a lot of the experts she spoke with.
I think any women that are ruling guys out based on their height or their hair color (or lack of hair) should read this book. I have already dated guys 5'4" - 6'6" and every color hair and balding so I already knew was a good idea not to discriminate in those areas. I don't know if the facts are true, but my favorite part of the book was where the guy tells her the % of the women looking for a guy 6 feet or taller versus the actual % of guys out there who are 6 feet or taller.
I did learn one imporatant thing that made it worthwhile for me to read this book...I think I was looking for a couple of traits that are probably mutually exclusive and that was key to realize.
I wanted to read this for a couple of reasons.
1. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. This book caused such a huge commotion when it came out. I don't think the people who were complaining about this book actually read the book. She doesn't say everyone needs to be married. She just says that she wants to be married and she knows that a lot of her friends do to and she is just reanalyzing whether maybe they were looking for the wrong traits which I would agree that they were.
2. I am going through a divorce and I think that is good time to consider what qualities you are looking for in someone.
I think this book is aimed at a pretty specific target audience....career oriented women who also want to get married and have children. I don't want to have kids so a lot of this book really didn't apply to me. That's why for me I think I can only give it 3 stars even though I enjoyed her writing style a lot and it was interesting to hear from a lot of the experts she spoke with.
I think any women that are ruling guys out based on their height or their hair color (or lack of hair) should read this book. I have already dated guys 5'4" - 6'6" and every color hair and balding so I already knew was a good idea not to discriminate in those areas. I don't know if the facts are true, but my favorite part of the book was where the guy tells her the % of the women looking for a guy 6 feet or taller versus the actual % of guys out there who are 6 feet or taller.
I did learn one imporatant thing that made it worthwhile for me to read this book...I think I was looking for a couple of traits that are probably mutually exclusive and that was key to realize.
Blerg, I don't know what to say about this - there were some parts that resonated with me and there were others that really didn't. She ends the book by essentially saying, 'learn from my mistakes so that you too don't end up 40 and unmarried' which, ugh. It's possible that I didn't like this book because facing up to the message of it is just too painful.
Fantastic book, full of advice, that most young women in their 20's should pay attention to.
Basically girls, prince Charming, is probably not going to come riding in on his white charger, and while there is nothing wrong with not settling for just anyone, the truth is, we all have our faults, and as far as men are concerned, some things we can live with and adapt to agree to disagree, while some of us girls are inclined, to put a high value on ourselves, then wonder why we can't find happiness and ever after.
I use to sometimes complain about the fact that I met my husband at a young age (24) and that he should have turned up later, when I had done more with my life.
Thinking about it now, after reading this book, I'm inclined to think, that truthfully, had I turned him away, told him to come back later, when I was ready, the chances are, he would have found someone who was ready to commit and marry at a future date, and I would have been the one to miss out on a wonderful companion, and a man, who while not being the Prince Charming of my dreams, has been the one standing by my side and in love with me now for the last 15 years.
(Knowing myself , I doubt I would have also done the things I said and planned to do too)
The truth is, dating is about hearts and flowers, and the joys of romance, but ask any woman who has been married for a number of years, "what is the secret of a finding a good marriage partner?" and chances are she will tell you, it is about finding someone to stand in the trenchs with you, and will be the good father, devoted husband and companion that you need, because the truth is marriage is not about flowers and romance, it is about the day to day practicalities of life. Paying bills, dealing with a mortgage, good times and bad times, and all the other boring practical jobs that have to be done.
(Love you darling, thanks for turning up early!)
Basically girls, prince Charming, is probably not going to come riding in on his white charger, and while there is nothing wrong with not settling for just anyone, the truth is, we all have our faults, and as far as men are concerned, some things we can live with and adapt to agree to disagree, while some of us girls are inclined, to put a high value on ourselves, then wonder why we can't find happiness and ever after.
I use to sometimes complain about the fact that I met my husband at a young age (24) and that he should have turned up later, when I had done more with my life.
Thinking about it now, after reading this book, I'm inclined to think, that truthfully, had I turned him away, told him to come back later, when I was ready, the chances are, he would have found someone who was ready to commit and marry at a future date, and I would have been the one to miss out on a wonderful companion, and a man, who while not being the Prince Charming of my dreams, has been the one standing by my side and in love with me now for the last 15 years.
(Knowing myself , I doubt I would have also done the things I said and planned to do too)
The truth is, dating is about hearts and flowers, and the joys of romance, but ask any woman who has been married for a number of years, "what is the secret of a finding a good marriage partner?" and chances are she will tell you, it is about finding someone to stand in the trenchs with you, and will be the good father, devoted husband and companion that you need, because the truth is marriage is not about flowers and romance, it is about the day to day practicalities of life. Paying bills, dealing with a mortgage, good times and bad times, and all the other boring practical jobs that have to be done.
(Love you darling, thanks for turning up early!)