Reviews with content warning for Addiction - What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

The book is very informative about how trauma affects the brain and the lasting impact that can have, but when discussing systemic issues, the authors gloss over the roll a capitalist society plays in the difficulties of recovery. The authors also need a more nuanced approach when discussing societal issues or need to be more specific about which social groups they’re addressing.

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sakisreads's review

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challenging informative sad slow-paced

4.5

Wow! What a book! Oprah and Dr. Perry’s conversations are intense but iconic; there was so much to digest and take in. Two parts struck out to me in particular (the latter being because I’m taking a flight later on today)! 😳

‘Crimes involving a Black suspect and a white victim make up only 10% of all crimes - but they account for 42% of what’s reported on television. When you’re watching the news and almost half of what you see is Black people committing crimes against white people, that’s going to influence the way you think when you see a Black person.’ ‘Many people have had the experience of feeling ‘exhausted’ after a day of travel, even if all they did was stand in a few lines and sit on a plane. This happens because your brain was continuously monitoring thousands of new stimuli. Remember: Activating your stress-response systems, even at a moderate level, for long periods of time is physically and emotionally draining.’

I do think the audio version may be slightly better for this book, only because it is so conversational and slightly clunky in written form because of that, but it was still very beautiful. I don’t feel that I could take it all in at once so I am definitely going to try and get an audio edition ✨

Thank you! 🥰

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kelly_e's review against another edition

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emotional informative reflective medium-paced

4.25

Title: What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
Author: Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey
Genre: Non Fiction Psychology
Rating: 4.25
Pub Date: April 27 2021

T H R E E • W O R D S

Fascinating • Liberating • Meaningful

📖 S Y N O P S I S

Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” An important book about understanding people, behavior, and ourselves as it relates to traumatic experiences.

💭 T H O U G H T S

I am so glad I picked this up on a whim, as it's one of those books I didn't know I needed! It approaches trauma in a much more human way, as opposed to the more clinical perspective found in many self-help and psychology books. It is as helpful as it is informative, and in the process shifting our approach and mentality towards trauma. It puts forth the idea that practitioners, parents, caregivers, teachers, coaches, etc. need to provide trauma informed care on a person by person basis. It showcases how trauma changes a person at their core, not just mentally and emotionally but physically. It gave me so much to think about and reflect on, especially in relation to my own traumas.

My biggest take away from this is how as a society it's important to shift from a 'what's wrong with you?' (insinuating something to be fixed) mentality to a 'what happened to you?' mentality (insinuating something to be healed). After reading this, I looked at my own trauma in a different light. The trauma is a part, and will always be a part of who I am now, but I am not broken, but that I can heal.

I will say this one is made for audio. The conversational nature of the dialogue is best consumed by listening, pausing, and reflecting. I hope this book evokes more empathy in a world where trauma is prevalent.

📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• mental health practitioners
• anyone who works with kids
• trauma surviours

🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S

"Now when I begin to feel overwhelmed, I pull back. I have learned to say no. When I'm around someone who drains me, I put up a barrier - a nonphysical wall that keeps that person's negative energy away. I've also created a sacred personal space, blocking out Sundays as a time of renewal, allowing myself to be with myself, allowing myself to simply be. When this time is interrupted or threatened by someone who invades my state of calm, I become irritable, anxiety-prone, and distressed about making decisions - not the person I want to be in the world. The quickest and most consistent way for me to get back to my own rhythm is to walk in nature. Just focusing on my breath, my steady heartbeat, the stillness of a tree, or the intricacy of a leaf can center me in the wholeness of all things. Music, laughter, dancing (even a party for one), knitting, cooking - finding what naturally soothes you not only regulates your heart and mind, it helps you stay open to the goodness in your and in the world."

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krh_2911's review

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hopeful informative fast-paced

4.75

I found this book enlightening, insightful, and educational, and most of all it didn’t leave me feeling in despair. The truth is that we all have trauma in our past and present that has impacted how we interact with others, how we love ourselves, and how we view the world around us. As a society, we need to move to a culture that is kind, and loving and doesn’t lead with trauma or the question of “what’s wrong with you?”, but instead “what happened to you?” - Even just a change of the words can help the message land more gently on the person on the receiving end. I do recommend this book to understand how your own trauma has shaped your life, but also how others have shaped how theirs. I like books that encourage me to think about others in a new way...and this book does that.

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rebeccaloosli's review

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emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

I listened to this on audio which I liked as a format for this type of book. It felt like a podcast of Oprah interviewing Dr. Perry. This is a very accessible mental health book centered on trauma. The main goal is to change the phrasing society typically uses, “What’s wrong with you?” To “what happened to you?” This compassion based trauma treatment movement is backed by research and discussed in the book through actual case studies and patients Dr. Perry has worked with. I was skeptical that this book would just be Oprah fangirling a celebrity doctor however, I found Dr. Perry to be very legitimate. Both Dr. Perry and Oprah shared stories related to the points made in the book of people they have interviewed that have a history of intense and severe trauma. Not everyone who reads this book will relate to some of the specific experiences used as examples but most everyone has experienced some form of trauma or they have a loved one that has. Listening to this made me reflect on myself and my partner’s past experience. It’s given me more insight into my partner’s family dynamic. In addition to personal trauma, the book touches on societal trauma and how we can’t completely move forward as a country if we haven’t healed from our trauma wounds. Dr. Perry also made valid points about systems in our society lacking the support for those recovering from trauma. Between the case studies and some of Oprah’s personal experiences this was a very moving book. All together an accessible overview of trauma, it’s affects on all of us, and a compassionate way forward.

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juliana_caterin's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.75

I really loved this book, the audiobook is incredible.
I learned a lot, even as a med student, there are things that we don´t know or don´t even investigate that much. It was amazing, and it took a complex topic and made them understandable. I would recommend this book for everyone, it can be a bit overwhelming at times. But it's worth it.
I not only learned so much about the brain and development, but I was able to translate that to my real life. I understand and empathize more with people around me, and about myself. I understand myself a little better now.
I'll read this book again in the future because I don't think that I would get the most of it from reading it only once.
I don't agree with everything that was written on the book, but I still loved it and would recommend it.

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carmenvillaman's review

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challenging informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

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