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3.85 AVERAGE
3.85 AVERAGE
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
3.5 stars, rounded down. I enjoyed listening to this book. It made me evaluate some of my own friendships, how much effort I have or haven't put in, and how I could do better to "stretch." I appreciated the little research nuggets sprinkled into their friendship story.
I thought this was going to be more of a self-help book but it read more like a memoir of their friendship. I liked the book but I had to adjust my thinking on what it had to offer to appreciate it. I did enjoy it, but it was not a fast, easy read, even though it's a fairly short book. They do offer some helpful information and good points to lasting big friendships, but I dont think I was really able to extract that until I got to the end of the book.
Yes, yes, and yes. Ann and Aminatou share the raw, real, wonderful, and sometimes complicated parts of friendship. Would recommend this book a thousand times over to any and all my female friends.
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
It’ll make you want to hug (or call) your BFF.
Tbh I wouldn't be surprised if someday the money they get from being professional besties dries up and they don't talk to each other anymore
I was not very interested in their burbling on just how special and lovely their friendships with each other and #squadgoals are, but I was very interested in the most important question one has to ask when it comes to true stories about friendship breakups: WHO IS THE ASSHOLE??
Points for Aminatou: she tried to drag Ann into her drama with one of Ann's friends on vacation, distanced herself while going through health problems
Points for Ann: invited Aminata to a party with only white people, refused to mediate the drama, self-absorbed in love life/career
Tbh I am slightly Team Aminatou here mostly bc if I had a white friend who only had white friends and lived in Los Angeles I'd be like 😬 yeesh
But also at the same time Aminatou seems really dramatic and Ann really clueless lmao
I love the idea of this book, but it felt like it never got much deeper than the premise of "big friendship" itself. I hoped for more frameworks for friendship and commentary on the role of friendship in our lives/communities/societies.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Some extremely thought provoking passages/chapters that made me reflect on my own friendships. Occasionally, when the book delved into explaining the business side (shine theory creation, podcast, trip) it took my out of what I thought was the main narrative to explore their friendship. Also felt like the friendship breakup was built up over the course of the book but felt kind of glossed over when we finally got it it at the end.
For a long time, I've aspired to have life-sustaining, deeply intimate, highly involved on a daily or weekly basis, platonic friendships. I picked up this book very soon after I heard of it, because frankly this is something I don't think I've known *how* to do. I have many wonderful friends whom I treasure, but I wanted to get some practical ideas and guidance about how to take those friendships to the next level.
I loved this book. I had a hard time staying engaged in the parts that seemed more of a chronological recounting than deeply insightful. But I was so satisfied with the wisdom shared in other portions, especially toward the end of the book. Highly recommend.
"Most of us are going to have to work to stay in a Big Friendship. We're going to have periods of stretching to the point of strain, and periods when we really need our friend to do the stretching. We're going to have moments when we feel out of sync. Times when we don't feel understood and seen. Situations in which we feel failed by our friend, and other situations in which we are doing the failing. All the rituals and assurances and openness in the world can't make a Big Friendship feel easy all the time. And when it's hard, the only way for a Big Friendship to survive is for both people to decide it's going to. Showing up, in good times and in bad, is the only way to stay in it.
The upside is you get to be seen for who you really are. You get the security of a safe harbor. You get the satisfaction of know ing that you chose each other and continue to choose each other every day. You get to know yourself deeper than you ever thought possible, thanks to this external mirror in the form of your friend. And you get a lot of really good inside jokes.
Not all friendships offer these things. So when you find a Big Friendship that does, hold on to it. Invest in it. Stretch for it. Even when the world is telling you it's fiiiine to let it languish. Even when you're busy. Make a decision to create a world in which Big Friendships are valued as the identity-shaping, life-altering rela tionships they truly are. Start by valuing your own friendships - not just for their pleasures, but for their challenges too.
We can't tell you exactly what this will look like, because every Big Friendship is different. We can't even promise you that it'll work out in the end and that your friendship will be around forever. We're not even sure about our own. But we can say defin itively from our experience: If you take your friendships seriously, you won't regret it. We never have."
Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, Big Friendship - How We Keep Each Other Close
I loved this book. I had a hard time staying engaged in the parts that seemed more of a chronological recounting than deeply insightful. But I was so satisfied with the wisdom shared in other portions, especially toward the end of the book. Highly recommend.
"Most of us are going to have to work to stay in a Big Friendship. We're going to have periods of stretching to the point of strain, and periods when we really need our friend to do the stretching. We're going to have moments when we feel out of sync. Times when we don't feel understood and seen. Situations in which we feel failed by our friend, and other situations in which we are doing the failing. All the rituals and assurances and openness in the world can't make a Big Friendship feel easy all the time. And when it's hard, the only way for a Big Friendship to survive is for both people to decide it's going to. Showing up, in good times and in bad, is the only way to stay in it.
The upside is you get to be seen for who you really are. You get the security of a safe harbor. You get the satisfaction of know ing that you chose each other and continue to choose each other every day. You get to know yourself deeper than you ever thought possible, thanks to this external mirror in the form of your friend. And you get a lot of really good inside jokes.
Not all friendships offer these things. So when you find a Big Friendship that does, hold on to it. Invest in it. Stretch for it. Even when the world is telling you it's fiiiine to let it languish. Even when you're busy. Make a decision to create a world in which Big Friendships are valued as the identity-shaping, life-altering rela tionships they truly are. Start by valuing your own friendships - not just for their pleasures, but for their challenges too.
We can't tell you exactly what this will look like, because every Big Friendship is different. We can't even promise you that it'll work out in the end and that your friendship will be around forever. We're not even sure about our own. But we can say defin itively from our experience: If you take your friendships seriously, you won't regret it. We never have."
Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, Big Friendship - How We Keep Each Other Close