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17 reviews for:
Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
Diane Poole Heller
4.25 AVERAGE
17 reviews for:
Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
Diane Poole Heller
4.25 AVERAGE
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
Wow, I think everyone should read this book. We are all at different levels of healing our attachment wounds. If you're a secure attachment it will also help to see someone else in your life who might not be.
Super helpful and Dr. Poole Heller writes in a way that you can't put it down. There's no judgement and the information is presented in a deeply understanding fashion.
Would recommend to all!
Super helpful and Dr. Poole Heller writes in a way that you can't put it down. There's no judgement and the information is presented in a deeply understanding fashion.
Would recommend to all!
Truly a life changing book for anyone who has either experienced childhood trauma, or even just childhood stressors. Particularly neglect or abuse. I’ve been recommending it to just about everyone because everyone I know has experienced attachment wounds in childhood. It’s sadly super common for a lot of reasons. Grateful for books and people like these.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
What if our goal is just to love one another better? I recommend this book to anyone wanting to dive further into attachment theory. You’ll learn more about yourself and your partner and how to how love better, yourself and others.
Did the audio book. Good overview of attachment theory and how it manifests in adult relationships.
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Solid review of attachment theory with many examples within relationships and explanations of an individual's CNS along with strategies to respond to different situations that more towards secure attachment. Felt like a therapist giving a lecture/workshop.
Some interesting concepts/quotes:
- we need to be in attunement at least 20% of the time in relationships. No one is perfect, there is wiggle room here.
- practice repair, which builds our relationship resiliency, and helps keep us in attachment.
- "we develop the capacity for independence...we develop the capacity for dependence... and that gives us this increased capacity for interdependence."
- practice noticing and receiving 1% more connection.
- there are some benefits to insecure attachment types with regards to survival. Ex. Avoidant is good with limiter resources to survive alone in harsh circumstances.
- "Secure folks don't have any particular behavior pattern or personality or appearance, they just have this capacity for connection."
- ambivalence: 'they pick a fight when really they just want a hug, but they're too stressed.'
Some interesting concepts/quotes:
- we need to be in attunement at least 20% of the time in relationships. No one is perfect, there is wiggle room here.
- practice repair, which builds our relationship resiliency, and helps keep us in attachment.
- "we develop the capacity for independence...we develop the capacity for dependence... and that gives us this increased capacity for interdependence."
- practice noticing and receiving 1% more connection.
- there are some benefits to insecure attachment types with regards to survival. Ex. Avoidant is good with limiter resources to survive alone in harsh circumstances.
- "Secure folks don't have any particular behavior pattern or personality or appearance, they just have this capacity for connection."
- ambivalence: 'they pick a fight when really they just want a hug, but they're too stressed.'
informative
medium-paced