Scan barcode
pauls's review
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3.5
Hochschild’s work offers the reader illustrative real-life examples followed by some general findings and statistics.
However, it’s hard to speak of it’s importance, seeing as the research was conducted in the 80s among middle-class families (mostly). I can’t say it wasn’t worth my time, but it failed to provide the in-depth analysis I expected. I also have several complaints regarding the language used by the writer and referring to the couples by their names (truly, while reading the last chapters I couldn’t care less about who mrs. Holt or her mother were).
However, it’s hard to speak of it’s importance, seeing as the research was conducted in the 80s among middle-class families (mostly). I can’t say it wasn’t worth my time, but it failed to provide the in-depth analysis I expected. I also have several complaints regarding the language used by the writer and referring to the couples by their names (truly, while reading the last chapters I couldn’t care less about who mrs. Holt or her mother were).
jordanrisa's review
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
Life changing and very validating. A must read for anyone in a relationship, anyone living with a partner, anyone married or about to be. As someone who has struggled with external opinions (namely, my parents) about my “role” in my relationship, this book confirmed so much of what I suspected in gender roles and expectations within a family unit. I’ve gifted it to three friends already and plan to share it with more.
It was first published in 1989, but still so relevant today. It talks about how not enough has changed as women have entered the workforce yet still are expected to take on the “second shift” of the majority of housework and childcare. While women have advanced so far in society in the past few decades, men and workplaces have remained largely unchained and have a lot of progress left to make. It’s a necessary read for both men and women.
I have so many dog ears and highlights in this book and plan to revisit.
“Many women struggle to avoid, suppress, obscure, or justify a frightening conflict over the second shift… they are forced to choose between equality and marriage. And they choose marriage.” (60)
“The belief that their husbands shared 50% of the work at home was fairly common among successful upper middle class professional women in the late 80s, women who carried most of the burden of the second shift.” (106)
“When girls grow up, they seek to recapitulate… by becoming mothers themselves. When boys grow up, they try to recapitulate… by finding a woman ‘like mother.’” (163)
“Supermoming was a way of absorbing into oneself the conflicting demands of home and work. To prepare themselves emotionally, many supermoms develop a conception of themselves as ‘on the go, organized, competent,’ as women without need for rest, without personal needs. Both as a preparation for this strategy and as a consequence of it, supermoms tended to seem out of touch with their feelings.” (204)
“It was a privilege to have a wife tend the home. If a man shared the second shift, that privilege was lost.” (209)
“The female culture has shifted more rapidly than the male culture; the image of the go get ‘em woman has yet to be fully matched by the image of the lets take care of the kids together man.” (214)
“What did contribute to happiness was the husbands willingness to do the work at home. Sharing the second shift improved a marriage regardless of what ideas either had about mens and womens roles.” (221)
“127 countries — including virtually every industrial nation — mandate some sort of paid family leave. But in the US, the richest nation in the world, working parents are not guaranteed a penny of paid leave to stay at home with a newborn baby.” (280)
It was first published in 1989, but still so relevant today. It talks about how not enough has changed as women have entered the workforce yet still are expected to take on the “second shift” of the majority of housework and childcare. While women have advanced so far in society in the past few decades, men and workplaces have remained largely unchained and have a lot of progress left to make. It’s a necessary read for both men and women.
I have so many dog ears and highlights in this book and plan to revisit.
“Many women struggle to avoid, suppress, obscure, or justify a frightening conflict over the second shift… they are forced to choose between equality and marriage. And they choose marriage.” (60)
“The belief that their husbands shared 50% of the work at home was fairly common among successful upper middle class professional women in the late 80s, women who carried most of the burden of the second shift.” (106)
“When girls grow up, they seek to recapitulate… by becoming mothers themselves. When boys grow up, they try to recapitulate… by finding a woman ‘like mother.’” (163)
“Supermoming was a way of absorbing into oneself the conflicting demands of home and work. To prepare themselves emotionally, many supermoms develop a conception of themselves as ‘on the go, organized, competent,’ as women without need for rest, without personal needs. Both as a preparation for this strategy and as a consequence of it, supermoms tended to seem out of touch with their feelings.” (204)
“It was a privilege to have a wife tend the home. If a man shared the second shift, that privilege was lost.” (209)
“The female culture has shifted more rapidly than the male culture; the image of the go get ‘em woman has yet to be fully matched by the image of the lets take care of the kids together man.” (214)
“What did contribute to happiness was the husbands willingness to do the work at home. Sharing the second shift improved a marriage regardless of what ideas either had about mens and womens roles.” (221)
“127 countries — including virtually every industrial nation — mandate some sort of paid family leave. But in the US, the richest nation in the world, working parents are not guaranteed a penny of paid leave to stay at home with a newborn baby.” (280)
ecstaticlistening's review
4.0
It's fascinating to see what has changed and what has not in the decades since this book was published. I find myself curious to hear what Hochschild thinks about the so-called "mancession" and the increase in stay-at-home dads in recent years. Although this particular work of research is older, it's certainly still relevant and worth reading for any member of a dual-income couple.
terpjess's review
4.0
I would say every woman needs to read this (and they should), but really every MAN should read this. Infamous research that is still shockingly relevant today, 30 years later. We are in a "stalled revolution" indeed. I both liked and disliked that Hochschild seemed to focus on middle/upper class families, as it was easy for me to relate to but I would've liked a more complete picture.
afterwordsbooks's review
3.0
Hoped to finish this book with a big sigh of relief and a "thank-goodness-we've-come-so-far-since-then". Disappointed to find that no huge strides have been made (based on personal experience and of those close to me) and that we still lag miles behind other countries who benefit from government policies that support families, helping them to find that elusive balance between career, family/marriage.
Hitting hardest, the author reflects on "marital clashes [that] reflect a broader social tension- between faster-changing women and slower-changing men. .... More important, over the last thirty years, men's underlying feelings about taking responsibility at home have changed much less than women's feelings have changed about forging some kind of identity of work." At first publication in 1989, it's pathetic that this still rings woefully true.
Speaking to divorce rates in our country, not surprisingly "Sharing the second shift improved a marriage regardless of what ideas either had about men's and women's roles. Whether they were traditional or egalitarian, couples were happier when the men did more housework and child care."
The author's call to action, "in the era of a stalled revolution, one way to reverse this devaluation is for men to share in that devalued work, [homemaking, child rearing] and thereby help to revalue it. Many working mothers are already doing all they can at home. Now it's time for met to make the move. In an age of divorce, marriage itself can be at stake."
Really? No kidding....
Hitting hardest, the author reflects on "marital clashes [that] reflect a broader social tension- between faster-changing women and slower-changing men. .... More important, over the last thirty years, men's underlying feelings about taking responsibility at home have changed much less than women's feelings have changed about forging some kind of identity of work." At first publication in 1989, it's pathetic that this still rings woefully true.
Speaking to divorce rates in our country, not surprisingly "Sharing the second shift improved a marriage regardless of what ideas either had about men's and women's roles. Whether they were traditional or egalitarian, couples were happier when the men did more housework and child care."
The author's call to action, "in the era of a stalled revolution, one way to reverse this devaluation is for men to share in that devalued work, [homemaking, child rearing] and thereby help to revalue it. Many working mothers are already doing all they can at home. Now it's time for met to make the move. In an age of divorce, marriage itself can be at stake."
Really? No kidding....
rachelrenbarger's review
4.0
This was recommended by a sociologist friend and WOW was she right. This is 4.5 stars in my eyes because they combine research with narrative, historical context with the modern struggles, questions with answers... It's not just feminism or capitalism or class differences; it's a complex web that catches us all. I highly recommend this for anyone interested in how gender identity, economic realities, and our childhoods affect our (straight, mostly middle class) households.
zararah's review
5.0
I love Hochschild's style of writing, storytelling, and research approach, and this book combines all of those things wonderfully. Even though this was first written in 1989, and within the context of the US, it was a fascinating read and written in a really compelling way.
The book focuses on labour division within heterosexual relationships in the US, and she dives into the ins and outs of a few specific relationships in detail, providing both of the partners' perspectives, the people they outsource that labour to when relevant, and her own analysis - all making for a truly thought-provoking combination. Things that stood out to me were the myths that 'feminist' women tell themselves to help them avoid confrontation with their male partners who aren't contributing to household labour; the way in which masculinity and manhood hasn't transformed at anything like the rate that women's roles have in terms of cultural/social norms (ie. now women can work + be mothers + 'do it all', which is a big shift from 'just' being housewives; but expectations + representations of men have stayed mostly the same); and the incredibly low standards that (most!) women have for men in their relationships.
All in all, I'm not sure quite how much of it is relevant today (I hope not so much, but I fear probably more than that) - nor how much is relevant outside of the US, given their complete lack of family-oriented policies - but Hochschild's writing and research approach means that this is a really compelling read, regardless of applicability.
The book focuses on labour division within heterosexual relationships in the US, and she dives into the ins and outs of a few specific relationships in detail, providing both of the partners' perspectives, the people they outsource that labour to when relevant, and her own analysis - all making for a truly thought-provoking combination. Things that stood out to me were the myths that 'feminist' women tell themselves to help them avoid confrontation with their male partners who aren't contributing to household labour; the way in which masculinity and manhood hasn't transformed at anything like the rate that women's roles have in terms of cultural/social norms (ie. now women can work + be mothers + 'do it all', which is a big shift from 'just' being housewives; but expectations + representations of men have stayed mostly the same); and the incredibly low standards that (most!) women have for men in their relationships.
All in all, I'm not sure quite how much of it is relevant today (I hope not so much, but I fear probably more than that) - nor how much is relevant outside of the US, given their complete lack of family-oriented policies - but Hochschild's writing and research approach means that this is a really compelling read, regardless of applicability.
adfj897's review
5.0
I read this for a Sociology course in my second year of college. The notes below are from my thoughts based on class discussions and also the notes I took while reading the book. I would definitely recommend this book to people who are interested in looking at family and how it is impacted by external factors.
It was interesting to read and talk about the super mom and actually be able to tie it to the research which showed that women worked an extra month in a year in comparison to men in regards to the home. It is also interesting that the research was done in the 1980's because the work done then may still be relevant today. I really like this qualitative research because it's focus is on care.
The sociological imagination (history + present + biography + personal troubles + public issues) is present because personal problems was shown that they could stem from economic and cultural effects. I think the author does a good job at illustrating this throughout the text. I thought the focus on gratitude was very fitting because she was looking at how people cared for one another. I hadn't thought of the industrial revolution as gendered before I read this book either.
QUOTES
"The personal meanings of the second shift differed greatly but to most people the tasks of the second shift either meant ‘ am taking care of’ or ‘I am taking care of someone’" (196)
"Feelings underneath by less articulated and less conscious than the surface ideology page" (200)
"These marital clashes reflect a broader social tension between faster changing woman and slower changing men" (214)
"It is through the different appraisals of such gifts that the major social revolution of our time enters the private moments that make a marriage" (215) - sociological imagination
"Patriarchy has not disappeared; it has changed form" (263)
"Home has become the shock absorber of contradictory pressures from the world outside it" (270)
"The more important cost to women... Is that Society values the work of home and sees women as inferior because they do devalued work" (274)
It was interesting to read and talk about the super mom and actually be able to tie it to the research which showed that women worked an extra month in a year in comparison to men in regards to the home. It is also interesting that the research was done in the 1980's because the work done then may still be relevant today. I really like this qualitative research because it's focus is on care.
The sociological imagination (history + present + biography + personal troubles + public issues) is present because personal problems was shown that they could stem from economic and cultural effects. I think the author does a good job at illustrating this throughout the text. I thought the focus on gratitude was very fitting because she was looking at how people cared for one another. I hadn't thought of the industrial revolution as gendered before I read this book either.
QUOTES
"The personal meanings of the second shift differed greatly but to most people the tasks of the second shift either meant ‘ am taking care of’ or ‘I am taking care of someone’" (196)
"Feelings underneath by less articulated and less conscious than the surface ideology page" (200)
"These marital clashes reflect a broader social tension between faster changing woman and slower changing men" (214)
"It is through the different appraisals of such gifts that the major social revolution of our time enters the private moments that make a marriage" (215) - sociological imagination
"Patriarchy has not disappeared; it has changed form" (263)
"Home has become the shock absorber of contradictory pressures from the world outside it" (270)
"The more important cost to women... Is that Society values the work of home and sees women as inferior because they do devalued work" (274)