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bittersweet_symphony's review
3.0
A fascinating case study on how we internalize traumatic or difficult experiences to create our own bildungsroman. Beck makes sense of Mormonism as it's colored by her family culture, specifically as it's filtered through the sexual abuse she believes (more on this below) she encountered at the Abrahamic hands of her famous Mormon apologist father.
While Beck gets many of the factual details about Mormonism right, it's worth noting that there are MANY Mormonisms. Not only are there hundreds of Mormon sects or groups whose doctrinal lineage dates back to Mormonism's founder Joseph Smith in 1830, but were you to ask a Mormon what Mormonism is, you'd get an idiosyncratic answer every time.
All this to say, her particular framing and narrative surrounding Mormonism and the cultural practices of its people are informed by her own experience, as it would be for any of us.
In other words, her portrayal of Mormonism in Utah County involves Beck emphasizing and de-emphasizing events and language to fit the story she needs to tell. To be clear, this isn't to say her account is historically inaccurate, but to bring to the foreground my own view of history: Any single set of experiences or historical events can be weaved together to reveal a wide-ranging variety of relatively justified narratives about "what actually happened," contingent upon the storyteller's end goals and personal temperament.
As it is said, "We see the world not as it is, but as we are."
Beck makes it abundantly clear early on why the memoir exists. She's experienced some psychologically devastating things throughout her life, again, largely flavored by her family's religion and the culture that extends from it. While probably true of most memoirs, Leaving the Saints is a fierce act of therapy, a means for Beck to work through the demons that have tormented her since she was at least 5 years old.
She raises many fair criticisms of Mormonism, both about the history, its gerontocratic leadership, and the community itself. Beck gives the reader much to think about regarding academic freedom, dissent in high-demand religious communities, gender roles, victim-blaming, why institutions protect sexual or domestic abusers, dysfunctional families, ecstatic experience, and perhaps most importantly, the challenging nature of memory and past traumas.
The primary conflict in the book centers around Beck, as an adult, suddenly remembering an instance from her childhood in which her father rapes her. He denies ever doing it. None of her siblings believe her, rejecting the possibility that their spiritual giant of a father would "defile her" in that way. Having only Beck's account available, and in memoir form, the reader is left in a challenging spot to fairly or conclusively judge the situation.
Leaving the Saints will definitely trigger many people, especially women, who have been sexually abused, disbelieved by friends and loved ones, or had their experiences completely disregarded. I hope those who are, continue reading, and are able to mine some meaning and peace with regard to their own traumas. This book can be a profound cathartic and revelatory read for them.
Ultimately, I'd give this book something closer to 3.5 stars. Beck is a very capable writer and engaging, so long as you can overlook the condescending posture that occasionally shows its unattractive head in her prose. Reading Leaving the Saints back-to-back with Tara Westover's Educated exposes some troubling social dynamics in the Mormon community that are more common than many Mormons would like to admit.
Fortunately, changes can be made, if enough reform-minded folks speak out AND are able to get into those positions of influence that are currently hoarded by more regressive and less sensitive voices.
While Beck gets many of the factual details about Mormonism right, it's worth noting that there are MANY Mormonisms. Not only are there hundreds of Mormon sects or groups whose doctrinal lineage dates back to Mormonism's founder Joseph Smith in 1830, but were you to ask a Mormon what Mormonism is, you'd get an idiosyncratic answer every time.
All this to say, her particular framing and narrative surrounding Mormonism and the cultural practices of its people are informed by her own experience, as it would be for any of us.
In other words, her portrayal of Mormonism in Utah County involves Beck emphasizing and de-emphasizing events and language to fit the story she needs to tell. To be clear, this isn't to say her account is historically inaccurate, but to bring to the foreground my own view of history: Any single set of experiences or historical events can be weaved together to reveal a wide-ranging variety of relatively justified narratives about "what actually happened," contingent upon the storyteller's end goals and personal temperament.
As it is said, "We see the world not as it is, but as we are."
Beck makes it abundantly clear early on why the memoir exists. She's experienced some psychologically devastating things throughout her life, again, largely flavored by her family's religion and the culture that extends from it. While probably true of most memoirs, Leaving the Saints is a fierce act of therapy, a means for Beck to work through the demons that have tormented her since she was at least 5 years old.
She raises many fair criticisms of Mormonism, both about the history, its gerontocratic leadership, and the community itself. Beck gives the reader much to think about regarding academic freedom, dissent in high-demand religious communities, gender roles, victim-blaming, why institutions protect sexual or domestic abusers, dysfunctional families, ecstatic experience, and perhaps most importantly, the challenging nature of memory and past traumas.
The primary conflict in the book centers around Beck, as an adult, suddenly remembering an instance from her childhood in which her father rapes her. He denies ever doing it. None of her siblings believe her, rejecting the possibility that their spiritual giant of a father would "defile her" in that way. Having only Beck's account available, and in memoir form, the reader is left in a challenging spot to fairly or conclusively judge the situation.
Leaving the Saints will definitely trigger many people, especially women, who have been sexually abused, disbelieved by friends and loved ones, or had their experiences completely disregarded. I hope those who are, continue reading, and are able to mine some meaning and peace with regard to their own traumas. This book can be a profound cathartic and revelatory read for them.
Ultimately, I'd give this book something closer to 3.5 stars. Beck is a very capable writer and engaging, so long as you can overlook the condescending posture that occasionally shows its unattractive head in her prose. Reading Leaving the Saints back-to-back with Tara Westover's Educated exposes some troubling social dynamics in the Mormon community that are more common than many Mormons would like to admit.
Fortunately, changes can be made, if enough reform-minded folks speak out AND are able to get into those positions of influence that are currently hoarded by more regressive and less sensitive voices.
trudy1963's review
4.0
The author tells her journey to understand her past and find her spiritual self. Fascinating story.
marie_gg's review
4.0
Fascinating, disturbing look inside the Mormon church. Although deeply hurt by the church, Beck writes with fondness about individual mormons.
jjordankc's review
4.0
I'm SUCH a cheater!!! I blame it on my long commute. This was also one I did on audio, and I was captivated by it. It was an abridged version, and I normally hate abridgements, but this didn't feel like parts were missing. I really found this to be a fascinating story and again, it served as a GREAT discussion point for book club.
shareuhlin's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse
antidietleah's review
2.0
My husband was born and raised in SLC, UT as a non-mormon and has experienced a lot of alienation as a child. I wasn't familiar with Mormonism until we met and he started talking about it. He would explain some of the principles and I always thought it sounded absolutely absurd. Full disclosure, I'm not religious and not even really spiritual so most religions baffle me but this one tops the charts. Over the years, I've made a point to read more into this and am appalled at this religion - and not even just the fundamentalists. The whole thing is insane and the fact that it knowingly sweeps abuse under the rug and victim blames is vile.
This book in particular didn't really resonate with me. Yes, her story is tragic and I'm glad she got out, but the way the story was told was a but all over the place and her spiritual journey is so outside of my realm of comprehension I just couldn't buy into it.
Are there good insights sprinkled throughout? Yes. I also appreciated her light hearted humor but cannot fathom feeling that way. Guess I'm just not enlightened enough to forgive abusers and the system that perpetuates it.
This book in particular didn't really resonate with me. Yes, her story is tragic and I'm glad she got out, but the way the story was told was a but all over the place and her spiritual journey is so outside of my realm of comprehension I just couldn't buy into it.
Are there good insights sprinkled throughout? Yes. I also appreciated her light hearted humor but cannot fathom feeling that way. Guess I'm just not enlightened enough to forgive abusers and the system that perpetuates it.
kelby14's review
4.0
I was raised mormon, gotta put that out there. Also no longer a part of the church, but not because of this book.
Anyway, loved this book. I love the voice of the author. She is strong and intelligent. I love the anecdote about cutting her hair as a mark of rebellion, I felt the same way growing up. You really get a sense of both the good and bad in a mormon community. I love that this was well balanced when it came to the support and community around her.
At the same time I was horrified to find out how many abusive relationships there seemed to be. I was also unnerved by the information on the scriptures and their supposed translation from the Egyptian documents. The church government is a little odd, and it's scary that I was never taught anything about any of this stuff growing up. The book feels well researched and informative in a way that I haven't found in other books about the mormon church while still including her story amongst the history of the church.
I also like the comments about how it's hard for former Mormon's to look at religion or conversion after leaving the church. I understand where the author is coming from when she talks about faith as separate from religion. Loved this book.
Anyway, loved this book. I love the voice of the author. She is strong and intelligent. I love the anecdote about cutting her hair as a mark of rebellion, I felt the same way growing up. You really get a sense of both the good and bad in a mormon community. I love that this was well balanced when it came to the support and community around her.
At the same time I was horrified to find out how many abusive relationships there seemed to be. I was also unnerved by the information on the scriptures and their supposed translation from the Egyptian documents. The church government is a little odd, and it's scary that I was never taught anything about any of this stuff growing up. The book feels well researched and informative in a way that I haven't found in other books about the mormon church while still including her story amongst the history of the church.
I also like the comments about how it's hard for former Mormon's to look at religion or conversion after leaving the church. I understand where the author is coming from when she talks about faith as separate from religion. Loved this book.
arotella's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
3.25
I appreciate Beck’s bravery in telling her story-especially amidst a whole religion of people who want her to forget her truth. Her personal reflection and growth is very inspiring.
I still give organized religion zero stars, and this book only further cements that rating for me.
I still give organized religion zero stars, and this book only further cements that rating for me.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Self harm, Child abuse, and Rape