You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
4.1 AVERAGE
4.1 AVERAGE
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I 100% bought this book because of the title (Bad Romance by Lady Gaga is in my top five favorite songs of all time) and I knew it’d be an emotional book, but I was not expecting how much I’d love it. I think this is probably one of the best books on abusive relationships I’ve ever read. The subtle growing of Gavin’s possessiveness and control over Grace was masterfully done. It happens in a way that you don’t really notice until you REALLY do and then you see the rose colored glasses come off and the red flags are as bright as can be. I loved how the author showed Grace’s inner conflict and confusion, even at the beginning before things escalated and also once things came to that final straw. I thought the way the book highlighted how hard it can be to leave a relationship like this was so important. I do kind of wish we would have gotten more closure with Grace and her mom. I thought that storyline was really important and overall well done. Honestly this whole book is an incredibly important one that I think everyone should read (if they’re in the right mental health space for it).
CW: suicide attempts, body shaming, mention of an eating disorder, child abuse, emotional abuse, rape, suicidal thoughts
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Rape, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt
Minor: Body shaming, Eating disorder
This was one of those books that changed my view on a lot of things. One being, you never truly know how a book will end no matter how you are feeling at the beginning or middle of the story. The second being, love can be bad love even when it feels like great, star crossed, goo goo eyed love. And thirdly, Heather always seems to write gut wrenching, truly beautiful, raw and honest stories. I’m so glad I read this, I’m so glad I got to experience another beautiful executed dark-ish? contemporary. P.S please read the author’s note, and ensure that this story while beautiful, has a few trigger warnings.
*SPOILER ALERT*
Suicide
Self Harm
Sexual Abuse
Relationship abuse
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ stars
*SPOILER ALERT*
Suicide
Self Harm
Sexual Abuse
Relationship abuse
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ stars
I don’t know why, but contemporary YA fiction always turns out unsatisfactory for me no matter how great the premise may be. I never feel like it goes far enough, never feel like it has reached its full potential and explored everything it needs to explore.
Bad Romance is actually a book I quite enjoyed reading: It is gripping and hard to put down. I couldn’t stop. The book consumed me. I needed to know Grace, the main character, coming out at the other end safe and sound.
It also made me think – a lot – which is a very good thing when it comes to reading.
Demetrios addresses the hugely important topic of a relationship turned toxic and even abusive. She shows how easy it is to fall for the bad guy, to be blind and ignore alarm bells, how a relationships slowly chips away on everything you are as a person. It is scary how well the author describes the vicious downward spiral of losing confidence and every feeling of self-worth and how that binds the victim even more to their abuser because a world without the abuser consuming everything you are is no longer imaginable. This is absolutely horrifying!!!
I could relate to Grace and empathise with her so well although I’ve never been in a toxic or abusive relationship myself. To make me feel for a fictional character, although I would have made entirely different decisions and subsequently never found myself in her situation, is evidence of the author’s fantastic writing skills.
Also, there are beautiful female friendships in this book! This makes Bad Romance a very enjoyable novel to read because the friendships offer not only comic relief, but also warmth, love and a bright shining light in the dark that is the rest of the book.
Unfortunately, like mentioned above, the book doesn’t go far enough. While the dynamics of an abusive and toxic relationship are well explained, the book offers little reflection. The general message seems to be to stay away from abusive guys. Well… duh.
What isn’t addressed here is what made Grace so susceptible to her abuser and what she needs to do to protect herself from guys like that in the future. I’m not at all intending to lay blame on the victim here, but self-defense lessons, physical and mental ones, are simply necessary for all women in this day and age. We cannot expect this misogynist society to change anytime soon, which brings me to my next point:
I wish the role society played in influencing Grace’s mindset would have been touched upon in some way in the book. It is very obvious that Grace defines her self-worth over how thin and pretty she is. She is proud of being such a good girl: She is a virgin, she doesn’t drink any alcohol, never lies to her parents and is always eager to please them by completing endless housework tasks. Of course she gets straight A’s at school too – oh mind you, not because she’s talented and intelligent (quoting indirectly what she says about herself) but because she studies harder than everyone else. In short: She performs her gender role exactly in the way society wants her to: never complaining, never sticking up for herself, and never asking questions.
Grace defines her entire self-worth based on how pretty she thinks she is and how well she can attract men. That’s just another thing society teaches women and it needs to stop. If there is one thing that I regret about my teenage years is that I did the exact same thing to myself too, like all the other girls around me. It’s very normal unfortunately and yet so wrong. This thinking leads to a power imbalance in a relationship straight away: Women who think they are worth less because they feel less attractive than their boyfriend are of course making themselves vulnerable to be taken advantage of. Again, this is not exposed as contributing factor to an abusive relationship. In contrary: Grace repeatedly thinks that she doesn’t deserve to be with a hot guy like that and oh how lucky she is to have been picked as his girlfriend although she isn’t pretty enough to be with him and btw, his ex is sooo much prettier than her. All her girlfriends have to say to her is that the ex isn’t actually that pretty. Oh okay, problem solved!!
Sadly, that this is an issue never gets spelled out in the book. The message seems to be something along the lines of “even the good girls fall for the bad boys and no one is safe” but it should have been to toss these stupid gender ideals and to stop being so naïve and to focus on developing a sense of self-worth that is independent from men and society’s expectations.
Really, this novel lacks reflection from beginning to end. It’s an interesting case study and an important one, but that’s about it.
Usually I have the contrary problem where I feel like books are too teachy and preachy and lack subtlety but I wish "Bad Romance" would have been a little clearer on what lessons could be learned.
Bad Romance is actually a book I quite enjoyed reading: It is gripping and hard to put down. I couldn’t stop. The book consumed me. I needed to know Grace, the main character, coming out at the other end safe and sound.
It also made me think – a lot – which is a very good thing when it comes to reading.
Demetrios addresses the hugely important topic of a relationship turned toxic and even abusive. She shows how easy it is to fall for the bad guy, to be blind and ignore alarm bells, how a relationships slowly chips away on everything you are as a person. It is scary how well the author describes the vicious downward spiral of losing confidence and every feeling of self-worth and how that binds the victim even more to their abuser because a world without the abuser consuming everything you are is no longer imaginable. This is absolutely horrifying!!!
I could relate to Grace and empathise with her so well although I’ve never been in a toxic or abusive relationship myself. To make me feel for a fictional character, although I would have made entirely different decisions and subsequently never found myself in her situation, is evidence of the author’s fantastic writing skills.
Also, there are beautiful female friendships in this book! This makes Bad Romance a very enjoyable novel to read because the friendships offer not only comic relief, but also warmth, love and a bright shining light in the dark that is the rest of the book.
Unfortunately, like mentioned above, the book doesn’t go far enough. While the dynamics of an abusive and toxic relationship are well explained, the book offers little reflection. The general message seems to be to stay away from abusive guys. Well… duh.
What isn’t addressed here is what made Grace so susceptible to her abuser and what she needs to do to protect herself from guys like that in the future. I’m not at all intending to lay blame on the victim here, but self-defense lessons, physical and mental ones, are simply necessary for all women in this day and age. We cannot expect this misogynist society to change anytime soon, which brings me to my next point:
I wish the role society played in influencing Grace’s mindset would have been touched upon in some way in the book. It is very obvious that Grace defines her self-worth over how thin and pretty she is. She is proud of being such a good girl: She is a virgin, she doesn’t drink any alcohol, never lies to her parents and is always eager to please them by completing endless housework tasks. Of course she gets straight A’s at school too – oh mind you, not because she’s talented and intelligent (quoting indirectly what she says about herself) but because she studies harder than everyone else. In short: She performs her gender role exactly in the way society wants her to: never complaining, never sticking up for herself, and never asking questions.
Grace defines her entire self-worth based on how pretty she thinks she is and how well she can attract men. That’s just another thing society teaches women and it needs to stop. If there is one thing that I regret about my teenage years is that I did the exact same thing to myself too, like all the other girls around me. It’s very normal unfortunately and yet so wrong. This thinking leads to a power imbalance in a relationship straight away: Women who think they are worth less because they feel less attractive than their boyfriend are of course making themselves vulnerable to be taken advantage of. Again, this is not exposed as contributing factor to an abusive relationship. In contrary: Grace repeatedly thinks that she doesn’t deserve to be with a hot guy like that and oh how lucky she is to have been picked as his girlfriend although she isn’t pretty enough to be with him and btw, his ex is sooo much prettier than her. All her girlfriends have to say to her is that the ex isn’t actually that pretty. Oh okay, problem solved!!
Sadly, that this is an issue never gets spelled out in the book. The message seems to be something along the lines of “even the good girls fall for the bad boys and no one is safe” but it should have been to toss these stupid gender ideals and to stop being so naïve and to focus on developing a sense of self-worth that is independent from men and society’s expectations.
Really, this novel lacks reflection from beginning to end. It’s an interesting case study and an important one, but that’s about it.
Usually I have the contrary problem where I feel like books are too teachy and preachy and lack subtlety but I wish "Bad Romance" would have been a little clearer on what lessons could be learned.
"here we wear other peoples skin and it helps us forget our own, lets us pretend for a little while, that we're okay"
Not only a beautiful cover but a beautiful book. I was deciding If I was going to rate this a like 3.7 or a 4 star. But in the end when I flipped that last page I realized how powerful of a story It was. I'm not going to do a full on review because my feelings for this book are incredibly hard to explain. The beginning of the book I was complete trash for Gavin, I loved him. And through the book I felt like Grace, one second I was going to jump in the book and throw something, and the next second I was cheering for them (at the beginning of the book... then I just hated him after). But that what Heather Demetrios does to you, she makes you feel what the characters are feeling and just as confused as Grace was feeling. Her writing is wonderful.
What I loved about this book is the friendship. It is based on this relationship but you also fall in love with how wonderful the friendships in this are. It is the most odd group of girls, Grace, Nat and Lys, oh my gosh I cant explain how much I love these three together. Not only the group of the girls but also the others, I'm looking at you Gideon.
I did have a few minor problems with this book as well tho. The family situation, I am fine with a book that is based on a character with a not so supportive family (even though it happens ALL THE TIME) but the way Graces family is was a little bit hard to read. I know we are supposed to hate these people most of the time, but it got to the point where it felt incredibly unrealistic. I wish there could've been a little more happen between Grace and her mom. At times I was about to call some relatives of Grace and as why the heck they don't live with them. Also something that bugged me at times was Gavin, he bugged me a lot, but there where times where I was actually pulling my hair out. And I know, We are supposed to be bugged by Gavin but I was just ughhhhh I don't even know. Sometimes I questioned if Grace had a brain because, girl, ARE YOU BLIND. This happen like two or three times in the book when it really got to the point where I had to shut the book and walk away stressed out.
But besides those, I did have to just sit in my bed for a little after finishing it. I feel like once you close the book and just think back to all you read, that when it really kicks in what you feel about it. And the way it ended, I only have one word, PERFECT. I read this after finishing 'It Ends With Us' by Colleen Hoover, It sounded very similar and that was the mood I was in so I was super exited going into it. Let me just say, yes it does have the kind of aspect of a hard family situation and a bad relationship, but this is entirely different. Overall I loved this book and it allowed me to open my eyes more to these kind of situations. I highly recommend it and think everyone should at least give it a try.
Not only a beautiful cover but a beautiful book. I was deciding If I was going to rate this a like 3.7 or a 4 star. But in the end when I flipped that last page I realized how powerful of a story It was. I'm not going to do a full on review because my feelings for this book are incredibly hard to explain. The beginning of the book I was complete trash for Gavin, I loved him. And through the book I felt like Grace, one second I was going to jump in the book and throw something, and the next second I was cheering for them (at the beginning of the book... then I just hated him after). But that what Heather Demetrios does to you, she makes you feel what the characters are feeling and just as confused as Grace was feeling. Her writing is wonderful.
What I loved about this book is the friendship. It is based on this relationship but you also fall in love with how wonderful the friendships in this are. It is the most odd group of girls, Grace, Nat and Lys, oh my gosh I cant explain how much I love these three together. Not only the group of the girls but also the others, I'm looking at you Gideon.
I did have a few minor problems with this book as well tho. The family situation, I am fine with a book that is based on a character with a not so supportive family (even though it happens ALL THE TIME) but the way Graces family is was a little bit hard to read. I know we are supposed to hate these people most of the time, but it got to the point where it felt incredibly unrealistic. I wish there could've been a little more happen between Grace and her mom. At times I was about to call some relatives of Grace and as why the heck they don't live with them. Also something that bugged me at times was Gavin, he bugged me a lot, but there where times where I was actually pulling my hair out. And I know, We are supposed to be bugged by Gavin but I was just ughhhhh I don't even know. Sometimes I questioned if Grace had a brain because, girl, ARE YOU BLIND. This happen like two or three times in the book when it really got to the point where I had to shut the book and walk away stressed out.
But besides those, I did have to just sit in my bed for a little after finishing it. I feel like once you close the book and just think back to all you read, that when it really kicks in what you feel about it. And the way it ended, I only have one word, PERFECT. I read this after finishing 'It Ends With Us' by Colleen Hoover, It sounded very similar and that was the mood I was in so I was super exited going into it. Let me just say, yes it does have the kind of aspect of a hard family situation and a bad relationship, but this is entirely different. Overall I loved this book and it allowed me to open my eyes more to these kind of situations. I highly recommend it and think everyone should at least give it a try.
This was an extremely hard book for me to read since I’ve watched someone I love very much go through something very, very similar.
This could be a required reading for high school girls. No one deserves to be treated like Grace was.
This could be a required reading for high school girls. No one deserves to be treated like Grace was.
Message heavy YA book. Focused on abusive relationships and behaviours.
this is a great book! there are a lot of great things about this book! here are some of them!
>the second person POV. i'm biased, because i love second person and i love when books get weird with their formatting (i think we should all get weird with formatting about ten times more often. i actually would have loved to see more retrospective narration in this), but it genuinely works here regardless of my bias: the entire book is directed from grace to gavin, the boyfriend who becomes her prison, & addressing him as "you" gives the whole thing this specific and sometimes twisted sort of intimacy. you can never really forget how close they are, even when you hate him, because neither can she.
>heather demetrios says in her afterward that this book is drawn from a relationship she had, and that shows, because it bleeds authenticity. particularly in the way it escalates. gavin has some red flags at the start, but that's also compounded by the reader's meta knowledge of the plot; the relationship genuinely seems to start as something sweet and equal, and while i never PERSONALLY found gavin attractive (again, meta knowledge + i'm a lesbian), i understand why grace does, and i understand why she holds off for so long about realizing that her relationship with gavin has become a slowly tightening vise. (and oh man, when it tightens. the way i went from "huh that's a red flag" to "holy shit jesus christ fuck this guy" was like watching a car crash.)
>grace's relationship with her family, particularly her mother, isn't center stage, but it fills in a perfect background - her stepfather and mother are both abusive, though in very different ways, and it's VERY apparent why grace is so vulnerable to the sort of manipulation gavin pulls: when he's the only person to show her kindness, when he plays off her self-esteem issues, when being with him instead of at home is at least the lesser of two evils. also, her mother is written with so much... nuance? depth? compassion isn't exactly the right word; you aren't on grace's mother's side and you definitely aren't supposed to be. but she's still made a three-dimensional character instead of The Stereotypical Evil Mother, and that also makes it all ten times as painful, because she keeps choosing to hurt her daughter.
>i really like that grace doesn't just break up with gavin and immediately get into a relationship with someone else. this is a book that prioritizes friendship (particularly grace’s friendship with her female friends*) & taking care of yourself, especially when you’ve spent so much of your life putting yourself last, and i find that very important.
*also one of her best friends is a lesbian and there is never once a moment of any of the straight girls worrying about her being predatory or smthn. they have sleepovers they go swimming etc etc and it's just a non-issue and i know this is an INCREDIBLY low bar but it made me happy anyway as a lesbian with problems and complexes in my brain
>and as much as i hate to water books down to “Something Important TM,” i DO think that it’s important that a YA book like this exists. not to get on my soapbox, but man. sometimes YA romance is bad. to have a book like this, that marks out what an unhealthy relationship looks like, sympathizes with its main character and doesn't blame her for her situation but also makes it clear that it's critical she get out of the relationship, strikes me as Very Important, and not in a tired trite way.
>just a good book in general. would have read it faster if not for The Tasks
>the second person POV. i'm biased, because i love second person and i love when books get weird with their formatting (i think we should all get weird with formatting about ten times more often. i actually would have loved to see more retrospective narration in this), but it genuinely works here regardless of my bias: the entire book is directed from grace to gavin, the boyfriend who becomes her prison, & addressing him as "you" gives the whole thing this specific and sometimes twisted sort of intimacy. you can never really forget how close they are, even when you hate him, because neither can she.
>heather demetrios says in her afterward that this book is drawn from a relationship she had, and that shows, because it bleeds authenticity. particularly in the way it escalates. gavin has some red flags at the start, but that's also compounded by the reader's meta knowledge of the plot; the relationship genuinely seems to start as something sweet and equal, and while i never PERSONALLY found gavin attractive (again, meta knowledge + i'm a lesbian), i understand why grace does, and i understand why she holds off for so long about realizing that her relationship with gavin has become a slowly tightening vise. (and oh man, when it tightens. the way i went from "huh that's a red flag" to "holy shit jesus christ fuck this guy" was like watching a car crash.)
>grace's relationship with her family, particularly her mother, isn't center stage, but it fills in a perfect background - her stepfather and mother are both abusive, though in very different ways, and it's VERY apparent why grace is so vulnerable to the sort of manipulation gavin pulls: when he's the only person to show her kindness, when he plays off her self-esteem issues, when being with him instead of at home is at least the lesser of two evils. also, her mother is written with so much... nuance? depth? compassion isn't exactly the right word; you aren't on grace's mother's side and you definitely aren't supposed to be. but she's still made a three-dimensional character instead of The Stereotypical Evil Mother, and that also makes it all ten times as painful, because she keeps choosing to hurt her daughter.
>i really like that grace doesn't just break up with gavin and immediately get into a relationship with someone else.
Spoiler
i was worried it might happen with gideon - of course a healthy relationship is something grace deserves and is allowed to want, but going from one guy to the next feels precarious. but demetrios handles this perfectly; the situation with gideon ended unexpectedly but realistically (she hurts him without intending to, he has a different girlfriend at the end of the book & seems happy with her, THEY STAY FRIENDS AND ARE STILL KIND TO EACH OTHER), and grace acknowledges that she needs time to just exist by herself!*also one of her best friends is a lesbian and there is never once a moment of any of the straight girls worrying about her being predatory or smthn. they have sleepovers they go swimming etc etc and it's just a non-issue and i know this is an INCREDIBLY low bar but it made me happy anyway as a lesbian with problems and complexes in my brain
>and as much as i hate to water books down to “Something Important TM,” i DO think that it’s important that a YA book like this exists. not to get on my soapbox, but man. sometimes YA romance is bad. to have a book like this, that marks out what an unhealthy relationship looks like, sympathizes with its main character and doesn't blame her for her situation but also makes it clear that it's critical she get out of the relationship, strikes me as Very Important, and not in a tired trite way.
>just a good book in general. would have read it faster if not for The Tasks
I gave you my heart on a silver fucking platter and you ate it, piece by bloody piece.
I know I have to fight for this. It wouldn't be my life if I didn't have to go into battle for what I wanted. The universe doesn't hook me up. It doesn't give a damn about me. I'm lucky if it puts a sword in my hand before throwing me out into the shit
There is so much I want to say about this book. I want to say how could I not love a book that opens quoting Lady Gaga and then references Rent on page 1. I want to tell you that this is one of my favorite books of 2017. I want to tell you Heather Demetrios wrote one of my all time favorite reads [b:I'll Meet You There|21469068|I'll Meet You There|Heather Demetrios|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1403897439s/21469068.jpg|24893471] so I'm obviously a fan but mostly I want to say that this book is a work of art. I loved the writing style, it's as though this story is all being told to Gavin in the present, he is referred to as you throughout the book as is told in the past tense. The reader knows from the very beginning that the relationship turns abusive but you can't help falling in love with Gavin alongside Grace. Grace has been primed for this relationship. She's had a long standing crush on Gavin and basically worships him. Her home life is terrible; it's suffocating, abusive, controlling and damaging. I spent a majority of this book hating Grace's mom but there were moments where I felt so very sorry for her.
I understood how Grace easily slipped into this relationship with Gavin. There were times he was perfect and times that he was her savior. I could understand how she could put with all of the bad times to get those perfect moments that she desperately craved. There were times I wanted Gavin to get the help he clearly needs so that this relationship would work. There were times I was horrified and scared for her and wanted her to get far away from Gavin.
This book utterly broke my heart. It was a powerful read.
I loved this book. I loved the writing, the characters, the plot, the freaking cover. Everything.
You fall in love with Gavin along with Grace, you root for the high school couple, you want them to be together, you never think that Gavin could do what Grace says. And then it starts, slowly but surely he starts to crack away at her, at you the reader, he controls the world and when you realise this along with Grace it is too late.
Demetrios relates a world that sends you spinning, that makes you reread what happened because you can hardly believe it all.
I loved this book because in the end she didn't choose any guy, she chose herself and that is the most beautiful thing ever.
You fall in love with Gavin along with Grace, you root for the high school couple, you want them to be together, you never think that Gavin could do what Grace says. And then it starts, slowly but surely he starts to crack away at her, at you the reader, he controls the world and when you realise this along with Grace it is too late.
Demetrios relates a world that sends you spinning, that makes you reread what happened because you can hardly believe it all.
I loved this book because in the end she didn't choose any guy, she chose herself and that is the most beautiful thing ever.
Reading this book is like watching a train wreck. It's uncomfortable, it's horrifying, you know what's going to happen but you can't look away. That's how I felt anyway. Having experienced some of the things detailed in this book, I think the author did an amazing job at portraying a toxic relationship. While it has mature content and a lot of language, I think it's a book that many young adults/new adults should read, even just to recognize potentially abusive behaviour. For many young women, especially those who aren't raised in healthy, communicative families, it can be easy to mistake possessiveness with new love. The author has done a fantastic job at portraying the confusion and guilt a young person can experience while in a relationship with a manipulative, lonely, mentally ill boyfriend (or girlfriend).